Passive Aggressive methods

The second time it happened, I sat there behind the asshole calling him a motherfucker for being such a dumbass, big man getting ahead there at the light. I made sure to dramatically mouth my words in case the dickhead happened to look at me in his rearview mirror. I was in the right in my mind because I had to make a right turn at this intersection and cocksucker was blocking my way just so he could be in "pole position".

Anyway. The guy was driving a Civic Hybrid which stands out in my city of Towncars and Pick-Ups. He also had a Democrat bumpersticker on his back windshield. As I finally made my turn, I noticed that he had the Arkansas State Litter Hotline number on his license plate holder.

It finally hit me. I cussed out the Mayor of North Little Rock this morning. I did it in the most pathetic of passive-aggressive ways, but boy, once I realized who my target was, it felt pretty damn satisfying. "And fuck your new ballpark, too!"

(If my wife is reading this, please don't read this.)

That fucking summer election to raise the sales tax was p-a, too.

"Oh, a 4 year course?? No eating for another year then!"

http://i269.photobucket.com/albums/jj58/vzbx/selfishperson.jpg

I think if you use the word "fucking" (as an adjective), it can't be considered passive, exactly.

but but selfish person

Two years ago I could never get a parking spot on the street because a number of fuckwads insisted on hogging two parking spots all the time (one munted bitch still does it).

One day I got sooo pissed off that I did it myself and left the car there for a while just to make a fucking point, and someone left a note on my car to this effect:

If everyone parked responsibly there would be more room.

I left one back:

If everyone said 'please' we would all get along.

So, conga line of passive-aggression, basically.

I left one back:

If everyone said 'please' we would all get along.

How did you know whose car to put this on?

"Two years ago I could never get a parking spot on the street because a number of fuckwads insisted on hogging two parking spots all the time (one munted bitch still does it)."

Unless the street "parking spaces" in your neighborhood are marked, they don't exist. People who make this complaint are stupid -- one person parks in relation to where other cars are already parked. Then one of those cars leaves and another person parks just slightly differently. It's not like there are that many people who see two cars with exactly enough space for two cars to park in between and deliberately park dead in the middle.

omeone left a note on my car to this effect:

If everyone parked responsibly there would be more room.

I left one back:

If everyone said 'please' we would all get along.

Who the fuck lives on your block, the Five-Man Electrical Band?

Unless the street "parking spaces" in your neighborhood are marked, they don't exist. People who make this complaint are stupid -- one person parks in relation to where other cars are already parked. Then one of those cars leaves and another person parks just slightly differently. It's not like there are that many people who see two cars with exactly enough space for two cars to park in between and deliberately park dead in the middle.

― Indiespace Administratester (Hurting 2), Wednesday, December 3, 2008 9:34 AM (28 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Most of the time these people hog two spaces where no cars actually exist, and they do it because they're selfish arseholes.

Yes I know absence of lines means anarchy etc etc, but it's very possible to park without being a selfish prick. This street is a busy one, and everyone knows it.

So no, I'm not stupid.

Most of the time these people hog two spaces where no cars actually exist

Perhaps I am tired but this doesn't make sense.

Ample space for two cars, some fuck parks right in the middle.

Maybe he figured if he parked in the middle, there'd be room for a moped in front of him, as well as one behind him, but if he parked at the virtual border, there'd only be room for one car or moped.
What a kind fellow.

i need to remember: always sign my correspondence as selfish person

Great thread.

This reminds me of a funny thing I saw when traveling in Paris:

I was sitting in a cafe looking out at a busy street that was fairly parked up with little European cars. A guy drives up in his car to a space that was obviously too small for him. So what does he do? He uses his little car to push the little car in front of the space forward to make enough room for himself.

Now that's how you deal with an annoying parking situation! My guess is, this guy isn't at all passive aggressive.

*sigh*

Ample space for two cars, some fuck parks right in the middle.

― Brunswicki and Footescray (Autumn Almanac), Tuesday, 2 December 2008 23:44 (Yesterday)

But how do you know that the guy "right in the middle" didn't get there before one or both of the other cars?

Who the fuck lives on your block, the Five-Man Electrical Band?

awesome

I've seen her do it about 1000 times.

xp

It's not like there are that many people who see two cars with exactly enough space for two cars to park in between and deliberately park dead in the middle.

are you fucking kidding

there are people that would park at the end of a line of space, instead of sensibly here

|[8 8]_______

would fucking park their car here

|__[8 8]_____

fuck knows if it's deliberate or just brain dead.

xp brain dead

50% of people are below average iq

i reckon there's a 50/50 chance of it being less than 50%

I realized today that you can't spell 'hospitality' without 'hostility'.

^^in the 80s, a dutch prime minister once publicly thanked the host of a meeting/summit/whatever (can't remember the location or occasion) for their generous hostility

grrrrrrrr

was thinking that since i am somewhat passive aggressive i have a habit of projecting passive aggressiveness onto people's actions. innocent or meaningless events suddenly rise to boiling points of resentment when i assume there's passive aggressiveness happening, but it all gets deflated when i realize that the reasons for my anger were entirely created by my projection.

joko beck would pipe up at this point and ask "so where did the anger go?"

Apparently I am extremely passive aggressive. :-(((((

Passive aggressive people are easy to handle.

pa person: I really wish people would stop dropping stuff on the floor so I have to pick it up.

me: [drops stuff on floor] These people are pretty much a bunch of jerks.

pa person: [picks up stuff] I just wish I'd get some thanks for all my selfless work.

me: someone really should thank you.

* dramatization

- Every day, this co-worker sends me a "thanks!" email after I proofread her newsletter. And every day, I send her a "You're welcome!" email right back to her.

- Whenever someone parks stupidly in the lot, I lift up their windshield wipers.

- We recently had an office clean-up contest and the people in the station behind me each got a crisp $100 bill for "most improved". So I've taken my once-bleached-and-clean desk right back to the status of a motel broom closet even though we leave for a week on Friday. And if anyone asks, I'll say, "Just going for next year's 'most improved' award!"

Nobody's asked.

You have some classic tactics. I am blind in one eye and don't drive anymore, so when I go to my brother's, I have to tag along with his in-laws, Mr. and Mrs. "T". His in-laws are like, "abortion, abortion, abortion" all day long. Which is not my family's thing but they keep assuming that it is since we kids all went to the same Catholic high school together.

So a few months ago, my worst nightmare happened. The father-in-law came to get me, and I'm like, "where is Mrs. T." And he's like, "well we have to stop and pick up Mrs T. on the way." Okay, whatever. Except the place we have to pick up Mrs. T is at the new CRISIS PREGNANCY CENTER. So, okay, trying to be diplomatic I figure I'll wait in the car. But noo...we get there and Mrs. T and her car aren't there, and then we have to go looking for her. And the dad is like, "well your fellow alumnus is in there, why don't you say hello." I mean, I wanted to crawl in a hole and die.

So the rest of the way there and on the way home I said absolutely nothing to them, and it was an hour's ride to my brother's either way. I mean, I feel it sent a better message than fighting. About half an hour from home the car was dead frosty silent. It was hilarious, actually. Why do people condemn passive-aggressive behavior when cruelty can be so much fun.

So, a family member's birthday is coming up and it's Mrs. T's birthday, too and I have to get her a present because I have to keep the peace and all. This is where being passive-aggressive can be fun. What sort of "nice" gift can I give her that is in fact a passive-aggressive way of saying "fuck you?"

Padded clothes hangers.

Yeah, now that I'm thinking maybe I can get some really hilarious jewelry, because she really likes that. Like a charm that looks like a coat-hanger.

Then again, maybe I'll buy them a Bible, because lord knows they never read it. One of those big white Bibles with gold all over it. And a gold bookmark with Matthew 6, the one about praying in private.

I mean, turning the other cheek is one of the greatest passive-aggressive tactics of all time.