The Masturbatorium

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I remember reading a book by Kurt Vonnegut and there was a character in it who had a room in his house just for masturbating. It was called the "Masturbatorium." If you constructed your own Masurbatorium in your house, where would it be? what would it have in it? and how would explain its existence to curious visitors?

― Mikka Kiprusoff (Miss Lonelyhearts), Monday, 17 May 2004 00:17 (twenty-two years ago)

1. is it my bedroom
2. it has no visitors
3. the end

― mark p (Mark P), Monday, 17 May 2004 00:19 (twenty-two years ago)

Yes, yes very well. Mine would be covered in pink angora. And it would have one of those 70's moon-chair type things. Like the one in Dazed and Confused. And it would have a record player lots of classical music on vinyl. And porn.

― That Flames Goalie (Miss Lonelyhearts), Monday, 17 May 2004 00:23 (twenty-two years ago)

where would it be?

Under the stairs.

what would it have in it?

Tissues and air freshener.

how would explain its existence to curious visitors?

"That's, er, candle wax."

― Autumn Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Monday, 17 May 2004 00:24 (twenty-two years ago)

The walls would be festooned with exotiv silk hangings. On a trestle table, held by a mahogany carved nymph, is a woden platter on which is stacked a collection of exotic handkerchiefs of the finest materials depicting lovemaking scenes through the ages. In the centre of the room, next to the table is a Le Corbusier chair.

I tell my friends it is a room for quiet reflection and self-analysis; and that the handkerchiefs are for tears.

― the music mole (colin s barrow), Monday, 17 May 2004 00:24 (twenty-two years ago)

'Yes, yes very well. Mine would be covered in pink angora. And it would have one of those 70's moon-chair type things. Like the one in Dazed and Confused. And it would have a record player lots of classical music on vinyl. And porn.'

Yeah that last choice seems a bit tenuous

― omg, Monday, 17 May 2004 00:25 (twenty-two years ago)

the music mole is THE WINNER. mr. music mole, I would recommend quitting your job and building mastabatorium in homes across the world. You can sell anything on-line these days!

― Mike Guy (Miss Lonelyhearts), Monday, 17 May 2004 00:29 (twenty-two years ago)

giant bean bag chair, giant flatscreen tv (with DVD player & voluminous porn selection), handi-wipes on a silver platter, a bong.

my friends all know i masturbate a lot. let's be honest.

― Ian Johnson (orion), Monday, 17 May 2004 00:30 (twenty-two years ago)

where would it be?

in a sub-basement accessible only by a ladder underneath the coal bin.

what would it have in it?

internet, pillows, fruit snacks, handiwipes, sanitizer, incense, boombox, bunch of tapes (mostly Chicago blues, for no particular reason) sunglasses, sun-lamp.

how would explain its existence to curious visitors?

wouldn't have to. they could try it, provided they didn't leave goobers.

― x Jeremy (Atila the Honeybun), Monday, 17 May 2004 00:33 (twenty-two years ago)

"where would it be?"
eat shit
"what would it have in it?"
Sexy William Stryker from XMen2
"how would you explain its existence to visitors?"
I'd say " this is where I wank in front of Sexy William Stryker from XMen2(you stupid fucking) Bitch!!!

― slopsymbolic, Monday, 17 May 2004 01:25 (twenty-two years ago)

MYY MASTERBARTORIUM IS AT ELJIAH WOODS HOOS

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Monday, 17 May 2004 03:02 (twenty-two years ago)

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