self-awareness, the pitfalls of

I used to hate myself, and after years of introspection I'm a much happier person.

(i hate the kind of xpost that immediately makes you seem overly serious)

isn't that more being un-othersconscious than being self conscious?

much as i love this book i don't think you should check it out!

i have pretty much the same condition but im getting over it now a little, it is crippling.

I think most people deal with the same shit. Once you realize it, its not so bad.

I think I know what you mean. I get tremendously worked up when someone misperceives me, or characterizes me in a way that's antithetical to my self-image.

About a year ago, this guy who was dating my friend Liz mentioned that he'd seen me in "one of those Wrigleyville yuppie bars that you guys always go to." And immediately I got defensive and hostile, because I hated the idea of being seen as a Wrigleyville yuppie: "Look, it wasn't even my idea to go there!" I barked. And "you guys"? Who was he lumping me in with, anyway? Liz's boring, sorority-ish friends? "You don't even fucking know me, dude!"

Whenever I've been in situations like this, other people seem to be like, "What's the big deal? Don't worry about it." But it kinda frosts my hide.

I am pretty sure I have a very low quantity of this attribute, the qualities of which are a medium to minor mystery to me.

That is to say, I miss patterns in my life (in my thoughts, emotions, reactions and actions) that seem stupid obvious, until they are pointed out to me by a person. I tell a story about my life but I have difficulty sharing the emotions or impact thereof.

I know when a story or something is being "self-aware," but used in such a context, it means what seems to be quite a different thing that a human's level of "self-awareness."

Whaaaaat does this mean do you think? Who has it and how can you tell?

The trait IN QUESTION being "self-awareness," which I would differentiate from "self-consciousness" as somewhat outlined in the initial post.

I have this. I wish I could seize the day and not think about the consequences. But I also feel if I could I'd be a jerk.

I also judge others for not having this trait, as in if somebody smells or something I think "HOW CAN'T THEY KNOW THEY SMELL? THIS IS DISGUSTING". Then feel bad for judging them.

Weird minor peeve that connects to this: people pacing the pavement outside a pub or somewhere while on their mobile phone, getting in other peoples way.

So is self-awareness just trying to be polite, empathetic and considerate? I have that in SPADES.

However, this seems to relate far more to my relations with others (generally not a problem for me) than to myself (which is a region of bafflement).

I guess just realising how you are coming across or worrying about how others feel or how your "self" comes across. That'd be my definition.

But I also incorporate physical self awareness.

I have none of that! Which is why I'm so inadvertently slapstick. And why I sprained my foot four days ago.

If you really had none of it surely you wouldn't know!

I think of self-awareness as involving some level of objectivity about yourself, your feelings, and how both of them fit into your environment. So, for instance, a person without self-awareness will wake up irritable and start feeling as if the people around her are all being particularly annoying today; whereas a person with self-awareness will recognize that she's just feeling crabby, and that this is coloring her reactions to others. A person without self-awareness will feel insecure about something and start thinking everyone is bullying him; whereas a person with self-awareness will recognize that his insecurity is personal. As kind of a side-note, I always feel like you can recognize this split in people when they drink a lot: there are people in the world who manage to get super-drunk and yet act as if this isn't affecting their experience, and they'd totally still want to deck that guy for spilling a drink on them even if they were sober. They lack awareness of a simple thing that everyone else can immediately tell about them, which is that they are drunk and not behaving normally.

Which is different from that question about self-awareness vs other-awareness. That question's fascinating me, because I do think there's a line: when you're talking to someone and being careful not to bore them, there tends to be a difference between other-awareness (trying not to subject them to boredom) and self-awareness (which is more of a perception of how much you yourself are being boring!). I also think there's a form of self-awareness (a relative of self-consciousness) that's about having a really really broad, generalized sense of other-awareness. E.g., if you're sitting talking to someone and you're attentive to whether you're boring them, that might be other-aware; if you're sitting talking to someone and you're conscious of how your conversation might sound to people who aren't even there, and how you'd present to them if you were being secretly videotaped, that's more self-awareness.

Wow! I guess I'm not doing so poorly.

" It is often tacitly assumed that the uniquely human ability to construct a "theory of other minds" or "TOM" (seeing the world from the others point of view; "mind reading", figuring out what someone is up to, etc.) must come after an already pre- existing sense of self. I am arguing that the exact opposite is true; the TOM evolved first in response to social needs and then later, as an unexpected bonus, came the ability to introspect on your own thoughts and intentions." -- V.S. RAMACHANDRAN, a neuroscientist I like

This makes since to me.

Ha, actually the one part that doesn't make sense is the idea the "it is often tacitly assumed" that self-awareness comes before other-awareness -- if neuroscientists ever assumed this they should have gotten beaten up by psychologists behind the Admin building

i take pride in my self-awareness

That "uniquely human" is odd, too -- I wonder how fixedly neuroscientists/-biologists are convinced that other social animals don't have some level of this capacity!

I am at something of a loss to decide how self-awareness is any different than just plain awareness. And if it truly is different, I haven't a clue why it would be any better than just plain awareness.

But that's just me.