"I definitely don't feel the same about you, but that's really flattering."

I have a friend who has made various attempts at asking girls out, and he's pretty inept. For one thing, it's always girls he works with, which is bad news all across the board. Secondly, he always phrases it along the lines of "I've got a big crush on you" and if they decline his advances he'll send off a lengthy email to them hoping to either clear things up or convince them to reconsider, which usually just results in the girl in question sending off the email to her other friends with the message "look at this psycho and what he wrote".

anyway, you're not that bad I'm guessing. I suppose there's a chance still but you have to act like you don't care about it anymore, back off, and start from square one again. I did something similar in high school my freshman year, and then junior year I ended up going out with the same girl. but the issue here is that it's incredibly rare that you confess something like this to a girl and she responds in the manner you hope she will, because it's sort of like forcing the issue. Even if she has a sense deep inside that you're someone she might go out with, bringing it up like that will turn you from being "maybe someday" into "definitely not now"

of course chances are you'll get over it before (if) she changes her mind, and you'll be onto the next girl.

"I had suspected as much."

We were friends for YEARS after that; lost track of each other, but I'd be delighted to see him still. I think the fact that we got that out of the way quite early on in the friendship was key.

however i hope when she rejected you romantically she didn't use the exact words in the thread title. "definitely"? eek.

Things have a good way of settling when you just chill and stay mates, its great that way. Good luck! :)

Move on. Find someone else. In two weeks' time, when you're flat on your back with your legs in the air, the last thing you'll be thinking of is this comment.

However, you having told the other person this has probably 'broken the spell,' so to speak. That happened to me once -- massive hang-up on someone for ages and ages, so I declared my feelings and discovered there was no mutuality, and instantly the feelings disappeared and never came back.

Getting hung up on someone who declares nil interest is damaging. The trick is to move on as quickly as possible, and it's not always easy.