Flying is for assholes.

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If you need to get somewhere that fast, you're a jerk.
If you fly but you complain about it (the seats are too small, the bathrooms suck, the lines are too long), you're a bigger jerk.
If you take the Concorde because you need to be somewhere really fast, you're an even bigger jerk.
If you own your own plane, you're the biggest jerk.

― NA (Nick A.), Wednesday, 19 May 2004 14:21 (twenty-two years ago)

So, If you own your own concorde and complain about it?

― mark grout (mark grout), Wednesday, 19 May 2004 14:23 (twenty-two years ago)

yo what's up Crabby Crabberson?

― stevem (blueski), Wednesday, 19 May 2004 14:23 (twenty-two years ago)

can't take the concorde anymore
you drowned in the ocean

― jel -- (jel), Wednesday, 19 May 2004 14:24 (twenty-two years ago)

Flying is for assholes, trains are for penii.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 19 May 2004 14:26 (twenty-two years ago)

Roaring around at 30,000 feet, drinking your martinis, thinking you're hot shit.

― NA (Nick A.), Wednesday, 19 May 2004 14:27 (twenty-two years ago)

you're so wrong about the Concorde. I'm bummed I'll never get to fly in one, mainly because seeing the curvature of the earth is TOTALLY FUCKING COOL. I was at Brighton Beach last summer and saw one of the last flights coming in for landing at JFK - one of the coolest things I ever did see.

― QUOTATIONS FROM CHAIRMAN OF BRITISH AIRWAYS (hstencil), Wednesday, 19 May 2004 14:27 (twenty-two years ago)

Yeh, right u r, NA. It's really vice versa, innit - assholes are for flying.

― t\'\'t (t\'\'t), Wednesday, 19 May 2004 14:28 (twenty-two years ago)

There's a part of me that wants to learn to fly planes/helicopters extremely badly. And then there's the other part of me that realizes how easily I wreck on a bicycle.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 19 May 2004 14:29 (twenty-two years ago)

NA, are you trying out lyrics on us?

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 19 May 2004 14:30 (twenty-two years ago)

flying is for assholes, NYC is for sellouts - I sense a pattern here!

― QUOTATIONS FROM CHAIR, MAN (hstencil), Wednesday, 19 May 2004 14:31 (twenty-two years ago)

I disapprove of your lifestyle.

― NA (Nick A.), Wednesday, 19 May 2004 14:31 (twenty-two years ago)

NA is right tho. What with cheaper flights now you get all sorts of rabble on your flight.

― stevem (blueski), Wednesday, 19 May 2004 14:33 (twenty-two years ago)

NA's been writing lyrics for the next Anal Cunt album "We Really Really Mean It This Time (You're Gay)".

― dog latin (dog latin), Wednesday, 19 May 2004 14:34 (twenty-two years ago)

sue me, jack.

anyway, there've been some interesting studies lately on the effects of air travel on climates, and to a degree, yes flying is pretty bad if only because it heavily influences weather patterns and causes a sort of mini-greenhouse effect. That said, looking down at any landscapes from a plane is totally cool. Would you rather count the neat-o squares of Kansas farmland from above, or drive through them? I know what I'll pick, any day of the week.

― QUOTATIONS FROM CHAIRMAN SUCKAH (hstencil), Wednesday, 19 May 2004 14:35 (twenty-two years ago)

assholes are for flying.

Is this why there's that dodgy smell emanating from the coach seats?

― Michael White (Hereward), Wednesday, 19 May 2004 14:36 (twenty-two years ago)

NA doesn't like me. :-( And I've never flown first class even!

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 19 May 2004 14:37 (twenty-two years ago)

first class rules 'cause the drinks are free!

― QUOTATIONS FROM FIRST CLASS (hstencil), Wednesday, 19 May 2004 14:38 (twenty-two years ago)

Hey, I'm going to have to pay a shitload of money, get to the airport three hours ahead of time, eat overpriced shitty airport food, wait for everyone else to get on the plane before I can, sit in a frigid metal tube for six hours, get tossed around until I'm on the verge of vomiting, sit an inch and a half from a huge coughing man holding a screaming baby, go to a tiny reeking metal closet to take a piss, almost die during the landing, wait another 2 hours for my soaking wet disheveled luggage to come out, and then pay another $100 bucks to take a taxi into the city because the airport's out in some pathetic burb, but at least I'll get to spend an extra 6 or 7 uncomfortable, painful hours with my family before I have to fly back again.

― NA (Nick A.), Wednesday, 19 May 2004 14:38 (twenty-two years ago)

NA, I think you should up the dosage, man. I don't think it's working yet.

― Michael White (Hereward), Wednesday, 19 May 2004 14:41 (twenty-two years ago)

How does your luggage end up wet N?

― Rumpy Pumpkin (rumpypumpkin), Wednesday, 19 May 2004 14:43 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm auditioning to replace Denis Leary.

― NA (Nick A.), Wednesday, 19 May 2004 14:44 (twenty-two years ago)

How does your luggage end up wet N?

it's to do with that dodgy smell emanating from the coach seats, right?

― t\'\'t (t\'\'t), Wednesday, 19 May 2004 14:45 (twenty-two years ago)

only a fucking tool shows up to an airport three hours before a flight.

― QUOTATIONS FROM THE FAA (hstencil), Wednesday, 19 May 2004 14:48 (twenty-two years ago)

...with his luggage to get wet, eventually!

― t\'\'t (t\'\'t), Wednesday, 19 May 2004 14:49 (twenty-two years ago)

Maybe something is leaking, mmm?

― Rumpy Pumpkin (rumpypumpkin), Wednesday, 19 May 2004 14:52 (twenty-two years ago)

or that gorilla in the Samsonite commercial wee-weed on it.

― QUOTATIONS FROM 1970s TV COMMERCIALS (hstencil), Wednesday, 19 May 2004 14:53 (twenty-two years ago)

Well sure!

(eks-post) (dzn't matter)

― t\'\'t (t\'\'t), Wednesday, 19 May 2004 14:54 (twenty-two years ago)

i feel your pain Nick but it's really not that bad you know?

― stevem (blueski), Wednesday, 19 May 2004 14:56 (twenty-two years ago)

so wet luggage's totally k-ok with you, stevem?!

― t\'\'t (t\'\'t), Wednesday, 19 May 2004 14:58 (twenty-two years ago)

Gorilla wee-wee is never okay with me.

The only time my luggage got wet, it was my own damn fault from placing an unsecured bottle of rioja in a loose duffel bag.

― QUOTATIONS FROM ETC. (hstencil), Wednesday, 19 May 2004 14:59 (twenty-two years ago)

only a fucking tool shows up to an airport three hours before a flight.

I was showing up 2 hours before each of my flights this past weekend. Does this mean I'm just a mildly fucking tool? (I did so, because I was flying Southwest, and they have a first-come, first-serve seating policy, where you get branded an A, B, or C. I only got an A once (when I showed up at 6:30am on a Sunday morning) and got B's the rest of the time. I ended up with windows seats every time, though not ideal ones. But this meant not only did I have to show up 2 hours early but i had to WAIT IN THE B LINE for 2 hours to secure my spot. (i.e. no walking around the airport, no buying postcards for Casuistry, no going to the bathroom, etc.) Hey, I'm like you, QF1970, I love just staring outside and looking at the landscape. I need my windows seat goddammit.

NA, brand me fucking asshole. (intepret that however you want)

PS Never had wet bags or luggage ever.

― donut bitch (donut), Wednesday, 19 May 2004 15:00 (twenty-two years ago)

why/how would your luggage get wet? this has never happened to me

― stevem (blueski), Wednesday, 19 May 2004 15:01 (twenty-two years ago)

yeah, I make it an exception to get there early if I'm flying Southworst, but since I live in NYC now, I rarely get the opportunity.

― QUOTATIONS FROM A FUCKING TOOL (hstencil), Wednesday, 19 May 2004 15:06 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh right, my luggage got wet because I left a garbage bag full of rainwater inside each of my fancy Samsonite wheelie suitcases, I just forgot to mention that because I'm a fucking idiot. I don't know how they get wet, condensation or leaks or something, but they always come out damp.

― NA (Nick A.), Wednesday, 19 May 2004 15:07 (twenty-two years ago)

dude the gorilla hates you.

― QUOTATIONS FROM A GORILLA (hstencil), Wednesday, 19 May 2004 15:07 (twenty-two years ago)

now dontcha hate on monkeys, quotsa!

― t\'\'t (t\'\'t), Wednesday, 19 May 2004 15:10 (twenty-two years ago)

Must be the gorilla-skin shoes.

― NA (Nick A.), Wednesday, 19 May 2004 15:10 (twenty-two years ago)

What do Queens of the Stone Age have to do with it?

― NA (Nick A.), Wednesday, 19 May 2004 15:10 (twenty-two years ago)

piss all?

― t\'\'t (t\'\'t), Wednesday, 19 May 2004 15:11 (twenty-two years ago)

as i've said many times before, i hate flying. this isn't because of the associated minor annoyances that go along with the experience, but rather due to my irrational and unshakable conviction that the plane will blow up/nose dive back to earth. if it were possible to put paranoia aside, i'd have a great time. i love sitting around, snacking, drinking wine, and watching movies - all things that i can do (i'm expected to do!) without interruption on planes. also, i love buying things from duty free: virgin vie anti-aging handcream! yves saint-laurent touche eclat! moulton-brown lip repair! pimm's! gauloise blondes! 2lb boxes of jelly babies! i love regional snacks and taxis and people-movers and monorails. my luggage never gets wet, and the one time it was mislaid it got returned to me.

― lauren (laurenp), Wednesday, 19 May 2004 15:20 (twenty-two years ago)

If you fly but you complain about it (the seats are too small, the bathrooms suck, the lines are too long), you're a bigger jerk.

What if you start a thread complaining about it?

― martin m. (mushrush), Wednesday, 19 May 2004 15:21 (twenty-two years ago)

I think fear of flying was the unspoken elephant lurking around the thread (pissing on NA's luggage along with the gorilla?) until lauren's post.

― QUOTATIONS FROM A PERCOCET ADDICT (hstencil), Wednesday, 19 May 2004 15:22 (twenty-two years ago)

I hate little tiny jet planes! They make me want to die!

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Wednesday, 19 May 2004 15:25 (twenty-two years ago)

i felt like i was going to die when i took off from Midway on a Southwest (shaky as hell) but once up it was actually great (amazing view of Chicago as we banked all over the shop too, shame i was too busy trying not to crap my pants to really enjoy it)

― stevem (blueski), Wednesday, 19 May 2004 15:34 (twenty-two years ago)

lauren otm basically. but she's so jet-set!

― stevem (blueski), Wednesday, 19 May 2004 15:35 (twenty-two years ago)

Flying is the best.... wish I could just sprout wings and cut out the middle man.

― Rumpy Pumpkin (rumpypumpkin), Wednesday, 19 May 2004 15:37 (twenty-two years ago)

Hey, I'm going to have to pay a shitload of money, get to the airport three hours ahead of time..yadda yadda...

So flying makes you a SUCKER, then - not an asshole. (Not inherently anyway.)

― dave225 (Dave225), Wednesday, 19 May 2004 15:41 (twenty-two years ago)

Flying makes you an asshole sucker.

Fear is all part of the shitty, watered-down cocktail that is the flying experience.

― NA (Nick A.), Wednesday, 19 May 2004 15:47 (twenty-two years ago)

dude you're just a girl when it comes to flying, admit it.

― QUOTATIONS FROM FEAR FACTOR (hstencil), Wednesday, 19 May 2004 15:49 (twenty-two years ago)

The hassles that go along with flying are indeed a pain, but what alternative do you propose? What if you're crossing an ocean - going to take a ferry instead then? Yuck - worse chance of getting sick, and takes soooooooo long.
Plus dying in a boat (drowning): WAAAAAAY worse than dying in a plane crash (instant death)

― Rob Bolton (Rob Bolton), Wednesday, 19 May 2004 15:52 (twenty-two years ago)

Going places is for assholes.

― NA (Nick A.), Wednesday, 19 May 2004 15:54 (twenty-two years ago)

What, you're too good for America now?

― NA (Nick A.), Wednesday, 19 May 2004 15:54 (twenty-two years ago)

NA have you ever driven across the entire country? Or gone across it by train? Takes a long fucking time (and drivers are generally just as assholish as airplane passengers - and Amtrak has a crap safety record).

― QUOTATIONS FROM THIS IS A BIG MOFUCKIN' COUNTRY (hstencil), Wednesday, 19 May 2004 15:56 (twenty-two years ago)

It's been a few years since I've flown on a package holiday, but I remember the whole plane clapped and cheered upon landing at our sunny destination.... Is this purely a British thing?

― Rumpy Pumpkin (rumpypumpkin), Wednesday, 19 May 2004 15:57 (twenty-two years ago)

What, you're too good for America now?
You talkin' to me, punk? I'm from CANADA, bub.

― Rob Bolton (Rob Bolton), Wednesday, 19 May 2004 15:57 (twenty-two years ago)

You all will like flying a lot better once you get off of Southwest!!

― Jeff Wright (JeffW1858), Wednesday, 19 May 2004 15:57 (twenty-two years ago)

Is this purely a British thing?

No, it happens a lot in the States too.

― QUOTATIONS FROM CHINTZY MIDWESTERNERS (hstencil), Wednesday, 19 May 2004 15:58 (twenty-two years ago)

Last time I checked, you didn't have to take a boat from Canada to the US.

― NA (Nick A.), Wednesday, 19 May 2004 15:59 (twenty-two years ago)

non-going-anyplace rube in never been on a Victoria-to-Seattle ferry non-shocker!

― QUOTATIONS FROM A RUBE (hstencil), Wednesday, 19 May 2004 16:00 (twenty-two years ago)

I took the train from Richmond to Chicago and back again this past November. On the way back, we stopped overnight (for about 8 hours) due to snow. The trip ended up taking about 24 hours. It was still better than flying.

― NA (Nick A.), Wednesday, 19 May 2004 16:01 (twenty-two years ago)

Last time I checked, you didn't have to take a boat from Canada to the US.

I have. Across Lake Ontario from Wolfe Island to middle-of-nowhere upstate New York...

― Rob Bolton (Rob Bolton), Wednesday, 19 May 2004 16:02 (twenty-two years ago)

where is Jon Williams to talk about the new Rochester-Toronto ferry?!?

― QUOTATIONS FROM ROCHESTER (hstencil), Wednesday, 19 May 2004 16:03 (twenty-two years ago)

non-going-anyplace rube in never been on a Victoria-to-Seattle ferry non-shocker!

Oh no, I'll never get to travel from one miserable frigid city to another. My loss.

I have. Across Lake Ontario from Wolfe Island to middle-of-nowhere upstate New York...

But you don't have to.

― NA (Nick A.), Wednesday, 19 May 2004 16:03 (twenty-two years ago)

You could swim, you Canadian pansy.

― NA (Nick A.), Wednesday, 19 May 2004 16:04 (twenty-two years ago)

Victoria and Seattle are both in pretty mild climes.

― QUOTATIONS FROM JEEZUS YOU ARE A KNOW-NOTHING (hstencil), Wednesday, 19 May 2004 16:04 (twenty-two years ago)

I don't think this Alex in NYC schtick is working out for me.

― NA (Nick A.), Wednesday, 19 May 2004 16:04 (twenty-two years ago)

Average high temperature in Victoria, B.C. in January: 43.2 degrees F.
Average high temperature in Chicago, Illinois in January: 29 degrees F.

― hstencil (hstencil), Wednesday, 19 May 2004 16:08 (twenty-two years ago)

Speaking of definitely non-jet-settings, the most morosely memorable occasion my sorry asshole got flown by a plane was in the summer of '81 when i had to get from Tyumen to Nizhnevartovsk. (Both're quite deep in the middle of Russian "nowhere", btw).

I never did learn which kind of aircraft was initially meant for that flight, for after several hours of dumbass(hole) waiting that flight was postponed for unknowable time anyhow; so, suddenly there was an announcement that "a different plane" was leaving for Nizhnevartovsk, and "20 or so" people fitting onto the other 'craft had to "hurry up" in case they wanted to use that "quicker option to get to their" (um) "destination".
Well I did the hurrying-up pronto, as I was expected at the local newspaper headquarters in said Nizhnevartovsk, and together with a dozen of braver, or indifferent-er, fellow sufferers, I soon saw the peculiar iron bird that was supposed to carry us for the next to hours -- it was some smaller specimen of transport aircraft.

As I'd never flown by plane evah, up to that time, I wasn't particularly afeared of anything. I boarded the little plane, sat on one of the very simple wooden benches that lined the in-sides of the plane's bare'n'empty belly (no safety belts or any of that posh airplane crap, no sir). And sure enough, after two hours or so we t-t!-t!-t!-"touched" down -- inna b-b-b-bump!!! stylee -- in Nizhnevartovsk.

Virtually deaf (for the next three hours), I ended up accompanying the circa 55-year-old fatso woman, whose suitcases I had helped to carry to the plane and who had come to visit her daughter there.

...Lucky me, actually. With the night approaching, there was possibly no other place I could have found to stay the night there and then, in the Nizhnevartovsk of '81.

(How that old woman nearly drunk me under the table, and almost to my early grave - what with the overly kind overflow of vodka and stuff - is quite another story)

Well, assholes are for flying. I stand by that.

― t\'\'t (t\'\'t), Wednesday, 19 May 2004 16:12 (twenty-two years ago)

Soviet nostalgia isn't all that, then.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 19 May 2004 16:14 (twenty-two years ago)

Chicago may be cold, but it's not miserable.

― NA (Nick A.), Wednesday, 19 May 2004 16:23 (twenty-two years ago)

ever been to the State Street Homes, NA?

― QUOTATIONS FROM CHAIRMAN REINSDORF (hstencil), Wednesday, 19 May 2004 16:27 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.moneyblows.com/My%20Pictures/LPs-beige%20crate/sinatra,frank-come%20fly%20with%20me.jpg
http://www.iranactor.com/foreigner/images/films/catch-me-if-you-can/catch-me7.jpg

― COPY EVERYONE (gabbneb), Wednesday, 19 May 2004 17:09 (twenty-two years ago)

Gabbnebb just proved my point.

― NA (Nick A.), Wednesday, 19 May 2004 17:13 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.100thbg.com/mainmenus/418th/images15/Crash.jpg

― Crash Dump, Wednesday, 19 May 2004 17:14 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.c64gg.com/Images/A/Airwolf.ip.gif

This however, is for rad dudes.

― 24 hours with the King of Snake. (SNAKE!) (ex machina), Wednesday, 19 May 2004 17:16 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.vkn.com/movies/topgun/successstory.jpg

― gabbneb (gabbneb), Wednesday, 19 May 2004 17:22 (twenty-two years ago)

are those B-17s from 'The Best Years of Our Lives'?

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Wednesday, 19 May 2004 17:23 (twenty-two years ago)

― QUOTATIONS FROM MISSION ACCOMPLISHED! (hstencil), Wednesday, 19 May 2004 17:24 (twenty-two years ago)

twee flying...

http://www.internetmodeler.com/2002/april/aviation/rutan_voyager-2.jpg

― gabbneb (gabbneb), Wednesday, 19 May 2004 17:26 (twenty-two years ago)

Spencer,

Did you see that yesterday on TCM?

― Michael White (Hereward), Wednesday, 19 May 2004 17:28 (twenty-two years ago)

Don't fly drunk (take it from me, kids).

― Jordan (Jordan), Wednesday, 19 May 2004 17:28 (twenty-two years ago)

Did you see that yesterday on TCM?

it's a really obscure film

― gabbneb (gabbneb), Wednesday, 19 May 2004 17:28 (twenty-two years ago)

"If word gets out about this, Crazy Clown Airlines will be a laughing stock"

― stevem (blueski), Wednesday, 19 May 2004 17:29 (twenty-two years ago)

That is so Twee!

Also:

http://www.clusterballoon.org/index/index_01.jpg

x-post

― 24 hours with the King of Snake. (SNAKE!) (ex machina), Wednesday, 19 May 2004 17:30 (twenty-two years ago)

Did you see that yesterday on TCM?

Actually I studied it quite a bit at school. Those cowling-less engines speak volumes about men after the war.

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Wednesday, 19 May 2004 17:31 (twenty-two years ago)

also, Gregg Toland

― gabbneb (gabbneb), Wednesday, 19 May 2004 17:35 (twenty-two years ago)

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