Explain current news events, in haiku form

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In this very thread
We explain current events
Using haiku form

― Kingfish Disraeli (Kingfish), Thursday, 20 May 2004 20:59 (twenty-two years ago)

Wait a minute--I
thought this was Matt Cibula's
raison d'etre, dude.

― Matos W.K. (M Matos), Thursday, 20 May 2004 21:01 (twenty-two years ago)

forty Iraqis
bombed while wedding party goes
we are so fucked, bro

― hstencil (hstencil), Thursday, 20 May 2004 21:06 (twenty-two years ago)

dykey PFC
holds Iraqi man by leash
Rumsfeld should resign

― hstencil (hstencil), Thursday, 20 May 2004 21:07 (twenty-two years ago)

Chalabi raided
food-for-oil evidence key
Wolfowitz weeping

― hstencil (hstencil), Thursday, 20 May 2004 21:11 (twenty-two years ago)

why am I only
person to take this thread up
no news junkies here?

― hstencil (hstencil), Thursday, 20 May 2004 21:12 (twenty-two years ago)

Sorry I'm busy
Reading people Magazine
which has Britney pix!

― Gear! (Gear!), Thursday, 20 May 2004 21:13 (twenty-two years ago)

Alias bumped from
ABC's fall schedule -- could
be good for schoolwork.

― Leeefuse 73 (Leee), Thursday, 20 May 2004 21:14 (twenty-two years ago)

so Gear is typing
with one hand? that is a cool
skill to perfect, dude

― hstencil (hstencil), Thursday, 20 May 2004 21:15 (twenty-two years ago)

new dinosaur found!
this was up in montana
by some professor

― Gear! (Gear!), Thursday, 20 May 2004 21:15 (twenty-two years ago)

"24" as well
this fall will be boring but
january will rock

― Gear! (Gear!), Thursday, 20 May 2004 21:16 (twenty-two years ago)

i am not stroking
if that's your implication
my shift key's busted

― Gear! (Gear!), Thursday, 20 May 2004 21:16 (twenty-two years ago)

Alan Smith leaves Leeds.
Everton to pay big bucks
Dido's views unknown.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Thursday, 20 May 2004 21:17 (twenty-two years ago)

Andy Kauffman's dead
He's not back; it's all just a
Bob Zmuda prank

― Kingfish Disraeli (Kingfish), Thursday, 20 May 2004 21:17 (twenty-two years ago)

change that last line please
on the previous haiku
"the new year will rock"

― Gear! (Gear!), Thursday, 20 May 2004 21:17 (twenty-two years ago)

Top Arafat Aide
Convicted by Israelis
on Murder Charges

― x Jeremy (Atila the Honeybun), Thursday, 20 May 2004 21:17 (twenty-two years ago)

Frankee's number one.
Claims to be inspiration
For that Eamon shite.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Thursday, 20 May 2004 21:20 (twenty-two years ago)

world having affairs
yet little love lost anywhere
world just having sex

― t\'\'t (t\'\'t), Thursday, 20 May 2004 21:22 (twenty-two years ago)

Tony's suit purple
But George's got a shit mouth
And his wife's a 'ho!

― I care I really do..., Thursday, 20 May 2004 21:23 (twenty-two years ago)

Now I'm a hater
Give me Britney and I'm an
Ejaculator

― I care I really do..., Thursday, 20 May 2004 21:26 (twenty-two years ago)

ejaculation
can be an event surely
but ha-hardly news

― t\'\'t (t\'\'t), Thursday, 20 May 2004 21:40 (twenty-two years ago)

Insert the hookah
gently between her lips
and light the bowl
High Cooze

― Michael White (Hereward), Thursday, 20 May 2004 21:48 (twenty-two years ago)

bombs, bullets and oil
mix an Absolut cocktail
George Bush is drunk on

― Aimless (Aimless), Friday, 21 May 2004 00:57 (twenty-two years ago)

Howard is a git
Wants to stay on forever
Stupid chimpy twat

― I Wish You Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Friday, 21 May 2004 01:00 (twenty-two years ago)

The national news
In making mountains out of
Molehills shocker! (Yes.)

(Everything is a
scandal. The sky is falling.
"News" are hardly new.)

Locally, a teen
Runs away and all panic
Until she is found.

Complicated, this
Situation is -- ah well,
She was found alive.

Yet another teen
With too much on her plate steps
Away from her life.

― Those Beautiful Lines (Dee the Lurker), Friday, 21 May 2004 01:09 (twenty-two years ago)

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