So Natalie Portman came to my club tonight...

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but of course I was not working at that particular bar. typical. anyways, she drank ketel one and tonics, and had a shot of SoCo and Lime. Sometimes I ventured over to the other bar, mostly because it was outside and i needed fresh air, but she was in a corner, and i didnt see her. i really didnt like the last star wars film.

Aaron Grossman (aajjgg), Friday, 21 May 2004 08:02 (twenty-two years ago)

i would have been more impressed if eric portman had come to your club.

Marcello Carlin, Friday, 21 May 2004 08:06 (twenty-two years ago)

wasn't she going out with Moby at one point? gah

stevem (blueski), Friday, 21 May 2004 08:47 (twenty-two years ago)

eric going out with moby gah indeed

t\'\'t (t\'\'t), Friday, 21 May 2004 08:55 (twenty-two years ago)

no i read in "studio" mag on the plane that she's dating that cute guy from the new almodovar film!

she is so gorgeous, it seems a cosmic injustice that she appears to be a mediocre actress.

amateur!st (amateurist), Friday, 21 May 2004 08:57 (twenty-two years ago)

she is very pretty but not like 'sexy' y'know

stevem (blueski), Friday, 21 May 2004 08:57 (twenty-two years ago)

i think she's lovely. i would buy her a drink.

wait, is she even 21 yet?

colette (a2lette), Friday, 21 May 2004 09:04 (twenty-two years ago)

Natalie Portman has replaced Jodie Foster as my favourite movie star = famous laydee for me to marry

Dave B (daveb), Friday, 21 May 2004 09:07 (twenty-two years ago)

Are you thinking of shooting GW Bush to impress her?

Dadaismus (Dada), Friday, 21 May 2004 09:08 (twenty-two years ago)

that's called a "benign side effect"

amateur!st (amateurist), Friday, 21 May 2004 09:10 (twenty-two years ago)

Natalie Portman is marvellous. Super-hot, and seems brainy enough (from what I havn't heard) and is actually a really good actress. Classic. I want to come to your pub.

(PS a friend of a friend is going out with Kate W1nslets sister. My claim to fame.)

Johnney B (Johnney B), Friday, 21 May 2004 10:21 (twenty-two years ago)

"Actually a good actress" = despite all of her output to date I still have the hots for her

Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Friday, 21 May 2004 10:27 (twenty-two years ago)

he even used the "really good actress" formula!

amateur!st (amateurist), Friday, 21 May 2004 10:40 (twenty-two years ago)

i think she was in one of my friend's classes at harvard. pathetically, he only wanted to get to know her so she could introduce him to anna paquin (apparently they're friends or something)

colette (a2lette), Friday, 21 May 2004 11:01 (twenty-two years ago)

(the class he taught, not both as students, in case that makes more sense)

colette (a2lette), Friday, 21 May 2004 11:02 (twenty-two years ago)

The bit about not wanting to know natalie Portman rwally but using her to get to Anna Paquin is beyond menko.

Dave B (daveb), Friday, 21 May 2004 11:07 (twenty-two years ago)

he was hoping Anna Paquin could then introduce him to Iceman

stevem (blueski), Friday, 21 May 2004 11:10 (twenty-two years ago)

wait, is she even 21 yet?

She's 23 or 24. She graduated from college in 2002. (I know this because I almost ran over her during her junior year).

VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 21 May 2004 11:15 (twenty-two years ago)

...with his penis

Chris 'The Velvet Bingo' V (Chris V), Friday, 21 May 2004 11:17 (twenty-two years ago)

did you ever nearly run over Rivers Cuomo?

stevem (blueski), Friday, 21 May 2004 11:18 (twenty-two years ago)

Haha no, he was gone by the time I got a car.

VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 21 May 2004 11:20 (twenty-two years ago)

The bit about not wanting to know natalie Portman rwally but using her to get to Anna Paquin is beyond menko.

i know. i wanted him to indroduce us and we could be friends and i could just look at how pretty she is and stuff. but no, only after anna. silly boy.

colette (a2lette), Friday, 21 May 2004 11:25 (twenty-two years ago)

i wanna give natalie portman a hug.

and possibly create luke skywalker with her

ken c (ken c), Friday, 21 May 2004 11:34 (twenty-two years ago)

she actually gave me the eye once (in the tickets line to film Topsy Turvy, Paris Theatre, NY), then hastily retreated back into her shell when she saw I recognised her. no one was more surprised than me!

partly for that reason I have a soft spot for her. but despite her mainly duff roles (The Professional excepted absolutely), she seems smart & fun from the real life stuff I've seen on her.

OK, so it was pretty amazing to get cruised by the 'most beautiful woman in the world'...!

nobody, Friday, 21 May 2004 11:43 (twenty-two years ago)

Male self-delusion at its most abject

Dadaismus (Dada), Friday, 21 May 2004 11:51 (twenty-two years ago)

HAHAHAHAHA

Be sure to Loop! Loop, Loop, Loop. (ex machina), Friday, 21 May 2004 11:51 (twenty-two years ago)

wasn't she going out with Moby at one point?

Dada this undermines your point
unfortunately, my rebuttal is challenged by:

she's dating that cute guy from the new almodovar film

nodoby, Friday, 21 May 2004 12:03 (twenty-two years ago)

LUke would've been much better had he been fathered by Ken C. The Death Star would be destroyed not by precision fire but by PRECISION DANCE DANCE REVOLUTION

stevem (blueski), Friday, 21 May 2004 12:07 (twenty-two years ago)

still, I can totally relate - lordamercy!:
http://pobladores.lycos.es/channels/aficiones_y_tiempo_libre/GENTE_GUAPA/area/3/subarea/5

nobody, Friday, 21 May 2004 12:22 (twenty-two years ago)

When and where did this one give you the eye?

Dadaismus (Dada), Friday, 21 May 2004 12:23 (twenty-two years ago)

ha ha in my dreams!

nobody, Friday, 21 May 2004 12:25 (twenty-two years ago)

"in the tickets line to film Topsy Turvy, Paris Theatre, NY"

i saw that film at the paris! the paris is great! more people need to know about it. i didn't run into any beautiful celebrities, but the girl i went with was pretty cute.

amateur!st (amateurist), Friday, 21 May 2004 14:18 (twenty-two years ago)

I used to work right next to the Paris. : (

hstencil (hstencil), Friday, 21 May 2004 14:21 (twenty-two years ago)

do they still have those beautiful curtains??

when i saw "topsy turvy" there it was nearly empty. we sat at the second row on the balcony. the screen is huge. one of the best movie experiences ever.

amateur!st (amateurist), Friday, 21 May 2004 14:22 (twenty-two years ago)

topsy turvy is so great!

s1ocki (slutsky), Friday, 21 May 2004 15:19 (twenty-two years ago)

Fantastic film. Well worth rewatching at least once, twice a year.

Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 21 May 2004 15:24 (twenty-two years ago)

she is 22. she was dating one of the guys from Y Tu Mama Tambien but they have allegedly broken up. She did date Moby at some point. I learned all of this three days ago during a bout of incredible boredom when I read the gossip section of sfgate. Isn't Moby like, 35? And she was, what, 20 when she dated him? I realize Moby is practically a eunich, but still, yuck. That does not mean I would not date her in a hot second (uh, if I weren't married.).

kyle (akmonday), Friday, 21 May 2004 16:20 (twenty-two years ago)

Yo Natalie I got what you need
I got the itch I hope you do too
I'm into having sex not into making love
Come give me a hug and and we'll get into it rough

Barima (Barima), Friday, 21 May 2004 16:45 (twenty-two years ago)

hehe you can find me "in da club" again tonight, ill be carrying ice buckets.

anyways, i blame the fire extinguisher. at around the time natalie and her large crew got up from the darkened corner where they were hiding, i was upstairs cleaning the foam off the floor. someone had snuck up there and sprayed the fire extinguisher. vince vaughan was at the club two weeks ago, but i didnt know about it when i was there. this time information and prescence were simultaneous. i dont particularly care for celebrities, but i guess i need a "story". and this is all pretty exciting for DC. of course, major politicians are all over the place but TS: "ooh there's princess amandala" vs. "ooh theres the asshole who called homosexuals perverts on CNN". of course, maybe some would prefer seeing the latter because of the fisticuffs that could result, but i dont punch that well.

Aaron Grossman (aajjgg), Friday, 21 May 2004 16:59 (twenty-two years ago)

(hey Aaron where d'you work?)

mookieproof (mookieproof), Friday, 21 May 2004 17:01 (twenty-two years ago)

i dont know if i should tell because i dont want to jinx anything or to be sued for libel ie "I drink grey goose and tonics!". suffice it to say that there are two major duo that create electronic music that are famous and from DC. one of those duos plays faster music, one slower, and the latter own four businesses in the DC area, and I work at the one that is most famous. dont say it if u know it. it should be that hard to figure out ;-)

Aaron Grossman (aajjgg), Friday, 21 May 2004 17:05 (twenty-two years ago)

Ben's Chili Bowl then, eh?

mookieproof (mookieproof), Friday, 21 May 2004 17:06 (twenty-two years ago)

I know where you work. I feel a bit proud of myself.

@d@ml (nordicskilla), Friday, 21 May 2004 17:08 (twenty-two years ago)

I think most peeps here can EaSiLy figure that one out.

Lee G (Lee G), Friday, 21 May 2004 21:26 (twenty-two years ago)

I am not suave enough for that place, so no N. Portman for me

mookieproof (mookieproof), Friday, 21 May 2004 22:11 (twenty-two years ago)

Last time I FAPped with Aaron and Tom we talked about going to this place (assuming I'm thinking of the right one). Perhaps we should try a FAP here?

j.lu (j.lu), Friday, 21 May 2004 22:19 (twenty-two years ago)

naked and petrified

the surface noise made by people (electricsound), Saturday, 22 May 2004 04:06 (twenty-two years ago)

I wouldnt mind going there for a FAP but i work there thurs, fri, sat, and they are closed sun and mon, and i work mon and tues elsewhere, so that leaves wednesday unless you want to FAP while i am working, in which case all i can say is a) i wont have time to talk to you 2) i cant get you any free drinks (am barback not bartender = no comp sheet for me). for the less-suave, i advise coming during happy hour, 5:30-8, as there is no doorman, no cover charge, etc. just dont wear shorts becuase you will be the only one.

i myself would love to do a sunday afternoon FAP sometime. I usually dont wake up until 2pm so maybe late afternoon. regardless, we should wait until Tom gets back from Engerland.

Aaron Grossman (aajjgg), Saturday, 22 May 2004 08:14 (twenty-two years ago)

do you all see what time i am posting? i just got home 30 minutes ago. i generally like working there and dont mind the hours, but tonight sucked, though every night has a built in consolation... since i leave work after the metro has shut down, i must take a cab. most nights finds me in the backseat, with the windows down as the beautiful cool air pours in. i look out at the lights of the city, while also listening to hiphop with the ethiopian coworker i split the cab with, and the pakistani man who drives us every night.

Aaron Grossman (aajjgg), Saturday, 22 May 2004 08:27 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh, I know where you work. The place with no sign, right? Should I go hang out there next time I'm in DC? I worry about not being stylin enough either. I have this aversion to places where you have to dress a certain way.. but it would be a an adventure.. I don't really care for those guys' music though.

daria g (daria g), Saturday, 22 May 2004 11:56 (twenty-two years ago)

Back from engerland now. Aaron's job is hott. He works in a much cooler three letter building than I do now, movie stars never show up at this joint.

TOMBOT, Tuesday, 25 May 2004 18:09 (twenty-two years ago)

job is hott i am nott. maybe instead of being the nerdiest person at a cool place, i should find a nerdy place and be cool? i shall open "MeSsDOSbar" and we will have mathrock or nu-industrial playing over the system and atari 2600 or unix terminals at each table (each with one chair of course).

Aaron Grossman (aajjgg), Tuesday, 25 May 2004 18:17 (twenty-two years ago)

BUSINESS PLAN

mookieproof (mookieproof), Tuesday, 25 May 2004 18:19 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.tjunker.com/tmp107452/6230-RAID-med-003.jpg

WANG, Tuesday, 25 May 2004 18:20 (twenty-two years ago)

I almost went to UMinn to study computer science because they had a giant Wang in the lobby of the CS lab.

VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 25 May 2004 18:30 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.nemitz.net/vernon/wopr.jpg

mookieproof (mookieproof), Tuesday, 25 May 2004 18:39 (twenty-two years ago)

We were at the Place of Aaron's Employment not a few weeks ago now and I had on like a tube top and jeans and was not underdressed; I think the "swankiness" of the clientele is an urban myth there, FWIW. There were these two really horrible looking girls there that really bothered me for some reason, and are still somewhat bothering me to be honest. Every dressy club we've been to in DC has made me wonder if DC doesn't have mirror shops anywhere, ESPECIALLY THE BLUE ROOM not so much at Place of Aaron's Employment which was quite nice but those two horrible women!!!

This all being said, WTF is Natalie Portman doing hanging around the Columbia campus all the fucking time if she graduated Harvard in 2002? I can only assume Julia Stiles's dorm room has some top shelf parties or something. Her tinyness, and by her I mean Natalie, quite freaks me out.

Allyzay, Tuesday, 25 May 2004 19:56 (twenty-two years ago)

there is no dress code for attractive women!

mookieproof (mookieproof), Tuesday, 25 May 2004 19:58 (twenty-two years ago)

Well, if you don't want to invest in slacks, you could try a wig.

Allyzay, Tuesday, 25 May 2004 20:03 (twenty-two years ago)

Yeah, you wouldn't think that someone so small would ever be so involved in inhaling a sub that she wandered out into traffic, but that's exactly what she did to me.

VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 25 May 2004 20:03 (twenty-two years ago)

haha every time I've almost bowled Tinkerbell over round these parts she's been holding large deli sandwiches and foods!! I think I am EXACTLY twice her size.

Allyzay, Tuesday, 25 May 2004 20:05 (twenty-two years ago)

NATALIE PORTMAN: MY SISTER OF THE HOLLOW LEG

nickalicious (nickalicious), Tuesday, 25 May 2004 20:06 (twenty-two years ago)

"Yo, Padme, I hear you can really howmpf down a sammich, wanna go somewhere with me for a footlong?"

nickalicious (nickalicious), Tuesday, 25 May 2004 20:07 (twenty-two years ago)

Footlong, you wish.

NA (Nick A.), Tuesday, 25 May 2004 20:10 (twenty-two years ago)

I have now decided that Natalie Portman is one of those drunken retards we see every weekend on 18th St lying in the middle of the sidewalk shoveling 3 jumbo slices down their throats.

Allyzay, Tuesday, 25 May 2004 20:11 (twenty-two years ago)

Hi Ally.

NA (Nick A.), Tuesday, 25 May 2004 20:18 (twenty-two years ago)

Dissed.

NA (Nick A.), Tuesday, 25 May 2004 20:30 (twenty-two years ago)

I wonder if she swallows?

Nobody Special, Wednesday, 26 May 2004 00:00 (twenty-two years ago)

dude NA I didn't mean to go and dis you, I had to go to class and speak some German. You know I got the big love for you. ESPECIALLY NOW YOU GOT THOSE FLY SUNGLASSES.

Allyzay, Wednesday, 26 May 2004 00:28 (twenty-two years ago)

they are nice glasses.

Aaron Grossman (aajjgg), Wednesday, 26 May 2004 01:45 (twenty-two years ago)

I wore my fly sunglasses at TPOAE.

Are you sure it's Natalie? I went to school with a girl who was her doppelganger, and I'm sure she went there.

gabbneb (gabbneb), Wednesday, 26 May 2004 02:51 (twenty-two years ago)

I should go over there tomorrow and have some pizza. Not at night when the drunken sloppy retards from the Virginia suburbs are hanging out on the sidewalk. Or maybe Chez Antoine. mmm, crepes.

Now I can't afford a drink in a place like Aaron's Place of Employment because I just blew most of my spare $$ on stuff at H&M so I would have something halfway decent to wear there.

daria g (daria g), Wednesday, 26 May 2004 04:47 (twenty-two years ago)

im pretty sure. the waitress showed me her credit card with her real name on it. but would this thread be any less enjoyable if it wasnt her? i mean, maybe it wasnt, but we do get famous people here every few weeks.

Aaron Grossman (aajjgg), Wednesday, 26 May 2004 05:42 (twenty-two years ago)

You like my Texas-shaped sunglasses? They're actually Sarah's, she got them from her grandma.

NA (Nick A.), Wednesday, 26 May 2004 13:46 (twenty-two years ago)

when the fuck are we having a fap already for christ's sake

TOMBOT, Wednesday, 26 May 2004 13:58 (twenty-two years ago)

Hell if I know; none of the DC ILXorz ever call me any more.

j.lu (j.lu), Wednesday, 26 May 2004 17:57 (twenty-two years ago)

You need us. Suckaz.

NA (Nick A.), Wednesday, 26 May 2004 19:06 (twenty-two years ago)

i am working all nights of week this week excepting sunday. if we plan one like 3 weeks in advance then i can probably take a day off. i am usually available wednesdays though, and bot and i usually are in adams morgan drinking for happy hour, so why not do a happy hour FAP? or lets plan a saturday way in advance so i can come too. i am all for FAPs.

Aaron Grossman (aajjgg), Wednesday, 26 May 2004 19:14 (twenty-two years ago)

one month passes...
gawd tonight sucked sucked sucked.
tonight was supposed to be my debut as BARTENDER at this swankfest (just as a sub, not permanently), so i arrived at 4pm instead of 3, only the person who was filling in for me as barback was in the hospital after slicing open his hand while cleaning the candle holders too quickly (thin glass + hot water + rushing = suXor), so suddenly i had to set up a bar in half the time it usually takes. of course, as soon as i begin to catch up, it begings to rain (i was setting up the outdoor bar), so suddenly everything is held up as my manager wonders whether we should hold out hope for outdoors. I spend this time helping someone else do his work.

At around 7pm, we make the call: we are not setting up outside. This means I have another bar to set up. I break down outside, and set up inside. All of this time, I am wondering whether the injury to the backup barback will prevent me from going to see The Streets thrusday (thankfully i found out later i was covered). So, its 9:30, and we are open in the second bar that i have set up, which means it is a perfect time for the bartender to show up! Anyways, I worked my ass off pouring drinks for the server, while at the same time we are making absolutely nothing at the bar.

I am exahusted, in pain from setting up two bars (carry bars worth of liqour outside, carry it inside, carry it to other bar, move extra cases of beer out of other bar). The one thing I am happy about: its friday, and that means the server i have a crush on is working at my bar, except, tonight shes not. She comes over to visit the bar (probably not me) a few times, and I hear her talking about california, and I ask her why she is going and she tells me she is moving there to do her last year of residency before she becomes a doctor. did i mention how cynical working at a bar has made me about the possibility of meeting literate women? so this hurts doubly. motherfucker.

its the end of the night, i make no fucking money. i get home, there is nothing here for me.
so thanks to (in no particular order):
1. ilx for listening
2. krispy kreme donuts and the 24 hour mobil station near my house
3. ali, the best cab driver in DC
4. Gareth, for putting "high" by hyper go go on the mix cd he sent me over a year ago. if i had been listening to "lush life" tonight i would have cut myself with one of the myriad broken glasses i saw this evening.

anyways, im working on a personal ad: balding, formerly jewish agnostic marxist geek seeks (secretly smart) supermodel type for objectification and thai dinners. NB I live with my parents.

Aaron Grossman (aajjgg), Saturday, 26 June 2004 08:26 (twenty-one years ago)

wow i just woke up and realized i suck.

Aaron Grossman (aajjgg), Saturday, 26 June 2004 18:11 (twenty-one years ago)

No you don't!

AdamL :') (nordicskilla), Saturday, 26 June 2004 19:52 (twenty-one years ago)

thanx

Aaron Grossman (aajjgg), Saturday, 26 June 2004 20:47 (twenty-one years ago)

Dude, if you submit that personal ad you will be my hero.

VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Saturday, 26 June 2004 20:51 (twenty-one years ago)

Trotsky is your hero?

PINKO

AdamL :') (nordicskilla), Saturday, 26 June 2004 20:55 (twenty-one years ago)

Maybe spice up that ad with a "Real life Woody Allen" prefix and you got a winner.

I am not a mandible ;-) (Barima), Saturday, 26 June 2004 21:03 (twenty-one years ago)

the ad is excellent. I do not agree about the Woody Allen part. Adding 'must be Natalie Portman' would probably be counterproductive.

gabbneb (gabbneb), Saturday, 26 June 2004 23:26 (twenty-one years ago)

Are you quite sure it wasn't Natalie Merchant?

Skottie, Sunday, 27 June 2004 00:24 (twenty-one years ago)

Was it "Lushlife" by Bowery Electric? Although I have a feeling that there's a more obvious one I'm forgetting about ...
Your personal ad sounds oddly similar to George's lines on that Seinfeld episode called "The Opposite", where George decides that his life sucks so he should do the opposite of everything he would normally do.


Barry Bruner (Barry Bruner), Sunday, 27 June 2004 00:31 (twenty-one years ago)

nothing about jewish geeks here sadly.

bnw (bnw), Sunday, 27 June 2004 00:38 (twenty-one years ago)

bnw wins

gabbneb (gabbneb), Sunday, 27 June 2004 00:43 (twenty-one years ago)

im a hairy smoker, so natalie portman wont want to date me. im a "social drinker" but the nature of my job has my "drinking socially" 35 hours a week (although tonight i only had two drinks, shots of jaeger and cuervo). Also "Music-alternative" suXor.

i was referring to the standard "lush life" with the lines "romance is mush/stifling those who strive/i'll live a lush life/in some small dive/and there i'll be/while i rot with the rest/of those whose lives are lonely too"

in general though, i didnt start this thread out of any particular interest in natalie portman, its just that she came to my club.

im not really like allen or costanza. im not an especially handsome guy, but i am skinny and wear my alopecia fairly well. and i am fashionable. tommrrows employee party will see the debut of my beautiful new D&G shirt (i will try and get a digital photo taken if possible). also, my burgeoning alcoholism has reduced whining by at least 75%. how you like me now?

totally offtopic: i wake up to a radio alarm, and i have this problem: when i am in the process of waking up but still asleep, the music from the radio enters into my dreams, so when i wake up with a great r&b tune in my head, i think for a while that i have just subconciously written a great pop tune. a few days later, i hear the song on the radio. :-(

Aaron Grossman (aajjgg), Sunday, 27 June 2004 08:44 (twenty-one years ago)

five years pass...

GYLLENHAAL: What song best describes your current state?

PORTMAN: My current state . . . I’m trying to think of a song that feels like sleepwalking. (laughs) I don’t know. I’ve mostly been listening to dirty rap lately. That’s sort of my scene.

GYLLENHAAL: Your affection for dirty rap is something that people really don’t know about you, which I think is fascinating. You do incredible things for the world, and then you listen to just completely obscene hip-hop music.

PORTMAN: Really, really obscene hip-hop. I love it so much. It makes me laugh and then it makes me want to dance. Those are like my two favorite things, so combined . . . I’ve been listening a lot lately to “Wait (The Whisper Song)” by the Ying Yang Twins, where the lyrics are like, “Wait ’til you see my dick”—which is just amazing because it’s whispered. (whispers) “Wait ’til you see my dick . . . ” (laughs) Crazy. So I just listen to it like I’m a five-year-old, like, “Oh my god! I can’t believe he just said that!”

velko, Thursday, 10 September 2009 03:45 (sixteen years ago)

she's so edgy and cool

musically, Thursday, 10 September 2009 03:56 (sixteen years ago)

"Wait ’til you see devendra's dick . . . ”

velko, Thursday, 10 September 2009 03:59 (sixteen years ago)

What is that from, Interview?

jaymc, Thursday, 10 September 2009 05:00 (sixteen years ago)

yes
http://www.interviewmagazine.com/film/natalie-portman/

velko, Thursday, 10 September 2009 05:03 (sixteen years ago)

Wow, I haven't picked up Interview in a long time. January Jones interviewed by Jack Nicholson??

jaymc, Thursday, 10 September 2009 05:07 (sixteen years ago)

Jake G seems kinda dumb.

Your heartbeat soun like sasquatch feet (polyphonic), Thursday, 10 September 2009 06:16 (sixteen years ago)

The January Jones one is great - Jack Nicholson is a great interviewer.

Roz, Thursday, 10 September 2009 06:38 (sixteen years ago)

it's just... great.

Roz, Thursday, 10 September 2009 06:39 (sixteen years ago)


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