Yet Another Inappropriate Crush Thread

You must surrender to this crush, just as you would surrender your bruised and throbbing lips to the throbbing domination of a v. flirty skinny little gothboy tart. It is written in the throbbing stars. It is the Will of God Incarnate. After all, I ask you, what could go wrong? Throb.

But does the goth boi have a cat?

He likes cats a lot - he was very impressed when I showed him a photo of mine.

The common favourite screensaver was the maze one from the XScreensavers package.

It was an idle boast?

Okay, so I'm just recently single (like a month) coming out of a 3yr relationship. I'd forgotten how annoying and disruptive crushes are. I've managed to develop a crush on a co-worker, going from absent-minded fancying to full-on crush in the space of a fortnight. I wouldn't mind, but the crush does nothing but get in the way of my working day. I don't think I even like the girl.

Advice for losing crushes, please.

I usually find minor character flaws and magnify them
until they seem to become big, gamechanging irreconcilable differences. ymmv of course

Jeez, enjoy it!

I usually find minor character flaws and magnify them
until they seem to become big, gamechanging irreconcilable differences.

That's not how you deal with a crush, that's how you deal with a relationship

I've tried the minor character flaw thing. I'm trying to assume she's not a nice person. Right now her and her infuriating cuteness is doing nothing but piss me off so it shouldn't be too much of a stretch.

Being recently single is such a fucker. I forgot about the crushes, the horniness, the low-level misanthropy...

Have developed MASSIVE, twitterpating crush on co-worker who I almost never overlap schedules with, which is good because it takes like 2 days for the FEELINGS to wear off every time I see him. Someday I should try being interested in someone who might actually date me. o_O

Trying the character flaw thing to put myself off: he's a norm who likes football and newsboy caps. Not working, he might actually just transform those things into being acceptable.

Ugh IRL crushes on colleagues are the worst. And yet also the best, but also the worst, but mostly just awkward. Never again, never again!

It's at enjoyable levels rn I guess but it's challenging not to beat myself up about it: "He's just being nice, he's probably like 30 years old and hot/smart and he can definitely do better. Sit down and keep yourself to yourself like a reasonable grown-up who knows her place."

Yeah crushes on colleagues are the worst because it just happens when you don't expect it, and you want to stop it but you can't cause they're there. All. The. Fucking. Time. I'm trying to get rid of one right now, cause the dude is just so wrong for me in so many ways but it's so hard.:(

And yup feeling the part about focusing on character flaws too. Somehow, it's not working.

I had to head off an IRL crush recently which had the potential to become super super awkward if it had blown up into anything bigger than "u r so grebt" but mostly I did that through avoidance and not wanting to make one of my few IRL social outlets awful and awkward. But that might actually be what pop star crushes are for, in terms of, if I just distract myself with a pop star crush it does kinda persuade my libido to leave IRL people alone. The best way to kill a crush is with a bigger crush.

grateful to learn that this is normal and not a mere product of my particularly-diseased brain ... have had far too many of these

Ay well. My crush is even smarter and nicer than I previously knew and also maybe does kind of like me, judging by his smiles and conversation, but also has a girlfriend. This is about what I expected; I am still forlorn.

I have one of these right now and it fucking sucks

Yeah, it's not even fun. When he smiles at me and his eyes are so blue and crinkly, I can't see anything except his face, everything else goes blurry until I look away. I decided to just start drinking and hope the feelings die down in a couple of days. That usually fixes everything, right?

Yeah the drinking helps

Losing your appetite fucking sucks though

Oh poor dayo. I'm sorry. We can languish together in spirit.

I feel like I should have stronger spirits to languish properly, not sure the 22oz of Budweiser lends quite the right air, but needs must.

People with LTR sig others really should wear some kind of (black) armband and never ever smile at you.

Haha let me go put on the Smiths "Please Please Please Let Me Get What I Want"

Red wine is the appropriate spirit I find, tbrr

where do appropriate crushes take place?

Idk, probably wherever unicorns come from.

On the bright side I won't have to attempt an interest in football I guess.

Have to go to an assignment later today with both crush colleague and former ex-boyfriend colleague. Yay awkwardness central. -_-

former

I don't understand what's so bad about crushes. I haven't had one in centuries but I've always remembered them as fun! ...unless of course you fall into unrequited love

That's p fun too, gives you something to think abt

It's not fun when it's someone you know you have no real future with, but you can't seem to help pining for them regardless. Stupid feelings.

I am currently in lie on the couch with no appetite and listen to music all night level crush. I am totally useless.

sympathies to all.

Feelings are bad. HULK CRUSH FEELINGS.

...unless of course you fall into unrequited love

― daavid, Monday, March 17, 2014 11:58 AM (6 hours ago) Bookmark

Man the definition of a crush is unrequited

Disagree!

You've never said you love me

I'm taken, by my last crush iirc

Well it's not a crush anymore then is it

God I am so in love with the woman who works at our front desk and she's in love with my married boss....they are going on a business trip and I just know they are going to get together. Totally ruined my usually placid office life. Kill me fucking now...

play the long game and be there for her when it all goes horribly wrong.

crush texted me and told me she was at a coffee shop and I could "come watch her work if I wanted" gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah

hi thread! you're not on 77 so I can't post my life on you but I'm here in spirit.

^ a metaphor for inappropriate crushes, maybe

Thanks, Hazel Iand congrats!)....that's very good advice I will take

I hope I remembered to smile

hi, thread

I'm really sorry, everyone. Don't forget to continue to breathe in and out, and consider maybe taking in some thin broth (even if you're not hungry for anything except the sidelong glances of your crush object).

I no longer feel crushed every 3.5 minutes when I remember (again) that he'll never love me. Now I've moved on to, How could I ever love anyone else when this paragon exists (even if unavailable to me)?

Can I ask a time-honored q? What does love have to do with it? Crushes and love are barely related in my mind.

comforting glow of fairy lights vs. christmas tree on fire

I think the "right answer" is that in a broad sense crushes are about the desire for love minus the inconveniences love would actually entail? Also when there is no outlet for love/no person to practice love with, there can still be crushes on the part of the individual without necessarily involving anyone else.

My personal answer is like, hey, this is all I've got, or have had for a really really long time. After 15 mins in conversation with CO the other morning, I felt vibrantly alive and attractive and glowy for many many hours afterward, and people reacted differently to me so I think I was putting something different back out toward others too. I haven't felt that awake or electric in, jesus...a couple of years?

Now that I deal with strangers all day and try to charm them into engaging with me so we can both get something back from interacting, I realize HOW MUCH ENERGY it takes to be glowy and charming to everyone, esp when most people won't play and don't give anything back. A little bit of attention from the person I pine after was like just throwing gasoline on that fire! It made me feel radiant for a while without that much effort on my part.

IMO crushes are basic lust in a frilly love dress that we put on it because lust is embarrassing and too primal all by itself.

I kind of have a crush on this girl who works at Chipotle, of all places. I've been going there long enough that I already know a bit about her--e.g., profiling her to see if we would actually be a good match. But it has taken such a long time because (1) she is working, after all, and at a 'fast-food' restaurant, which is hellish enough; and (2) I don't want to get her in trouble.

But I feel I shouldn't even act on it because I am planning on moving at the end of the year. Then I think what if she doesn't even care that I'm moving at the end of the year? Then, what if she has a boyfriend, anyway? But why does she smile and respond so favourably? She's probably just being nice so I don't want to look like a creep. So far, there's only been one awkward moment when I told her she looked exotic and what her background was. lol. I lol'd with my friend when I recounted it to him.

A girl I used to work with told me she had a crush on me. So instead of it being all awkward I decided to befriend her, because I knew she would get over it like that.

Because, as others have said, there is a sense of being in a fairy tale or having no inconveniences or bad differences with crushes, and when you realise it's not like that, it kind of bursts your bubble.

xp That is not untrue but I also don't nec want to talk about lust in bare terms to the whole internet. And I think that's unfair to crushes a bit since they also contain a bit of hope for love, that love could result?

Crushes are more than lust, at least they are for me; crushes involve some level of gooey "I wanna know what your favourite colour is, I wanna know what your favourite record was in high school" giddiness. I wanted to say "there is no real investment here" but that's not true, because I get very invested in crushes. What there is, with a crush, is no real chance of it ever being requited.

But then again, I'm pretty clear on what lust is, but I have no real conception at this point of what "love" feels like.

(I don't feel energised by interacting with crushes, though, I just feel flustered, to the point where I can no longer remember basic programming skills, so having them in an office environment = terrible, really. Or maybe, I dunno, they are energising, but the wrong kind of energy?)

Thinking back, I think most of my crushes have been innocent in the sense that I saw myself being able to have an actual relationship with her; as opposed to eyeing a girl and telling my bud, 'wanna fork that piece of meat, bro', which I would not say does not or has not happened. I mean, I think it's pretty natural.

'wanna fork that piece of meat, bro'
'wanna fork that piece of meat, bro'
'wanna fork that piece of meat, bro'
'wanna fork that piece of meat, bro'
'wanna fork that piece of meat, bro'

And I get shouted at on this board for talking about Vampire Weekend's eyelashes. For real.

that was hyperbole to stress a point, lol. like a mocking of bro speak

Isn't it great to hide behind the distance of "I was being ironic, man".

Just like it's great to hide behind the distance of "it's just a crush, I don't really risk anything here".

Now I remember why I don't post on crush threads.

I think some crushes can be pretty much just physical lust, others can begin with affection that is barely physical at all, some are fantasies of love or relationships evoked by someone's behavior (not just projected on them always) and one crush can ricochet back and forth all around many states. Also we have neocortexes and we can think ourselves into a state that's gonna express physically since we are still animals, does that make it lust? My current crush has entrained some suffusion of brain chemicals I haven't felt in a long time, but who knows why that happened? Maybe she just smells good but I can think up reasons that aren't physical too. No way to know what's true.

agree

I've never had a crush while I was happy in a relationship so I don't know what that would be like or if it would be different. I still notice attractive ppl but it's at an appreciative remove, like an aesthetic thing without involving me having any feelings, my heart doesn't race, I can still look them in the eye. Crushes give me anxiety like to where I simultaneously obsess about being near the person and also dread it because of the unrest it provokes.

Hi io you are me

<3

crush crash. ah well. I'll recuperate in Brooklyn this weekend.

WHAT, WHERE?

I have had a crush on the Clientele for fifteen years now, and they are playing in Brooklyn on Friday! So I am going.

F you Austin you crushless burg

maybe that was a little harsh. sorry hometown.

I've had a crush while in a relationship but, depending on the relationship, it was either kind of a whimsical thing since I already had a target for my affection or it was a signal that I needed to get out of the relationship.

I don't think I've had a crush in years. Maybe it's a chemical thing my brain doesn't do anymore since I tried to rid it of obsessive thoughts.

interestingly, as I age it takes longer to bounce back from hangovers but recovery time from dashed hopes is significantly decreased.

http://www.buzzfeed.com/joannaborns/reveal-your-true-feelings-to-your-crush

"If you said something really dumb to your crush, don’t worry. There’s an easy way to fix it. Just replay that moment over and over again until you hate yourself. THEN, you can be sure you won’t make the same horrifying mistake next time." - lol, otm

i got to go away on holiday to the beach with my CO and other friends!

talk about a delightful weekend of near-endless torment, good god

Haha/argh that Buzzfeed article is great

professors. do not crush on them if you are staff. no matter how many times they invite you to lunch.

maybe this belongs in the inappropriate professional attachments thread.

somebody start an appropriate professorial detachment thread.

crushee is being kind of an asshole to me right now and i want to ignore him, but i'm just getting more and more pissed off instead. how do i shot feelings, etc

bite your big toe. hard.

bite his big toe

like a dozen coworkers

and only ten toes

rejected alanis couplets that haunt your thoughts