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I thought we had discussed this but apparently I thought wrong.

Whee! It's amusing me a lot today. Apparently I am the Loverboy.

― Paul Eater (eater), Monday, 24 May 2004 12:58 (twenty-two years ago)

I am a Windowshopper.

― tokyo rosemary (rosemary), Monday, 24 May 2004 13:07 (twenty-two years ago)

I am The Sonnet.

― Melissa W (Melissa W), Monday, 24 May 2004 13:08 (twenty-two years ago)

Door, Door, I'm the boy next door.

― mark grout (mark grout), Monday, 24 May 2004 13:23 (twenty-two years ago)

The Slow Dancer. Aw.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 24 May 2004 13:48 (twenty-two years ago)

"The women left over will be hot and Ned's."

― Paul Eater (eater), Monday, 24 May 2004 14:13 (twenty-two years ago)

Amazing!

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 24 May 2004 14:17 (twenty-two years ago)

blocked by our filter. :(

― Ask For Samantha (thatgirl), Monday, 24 May 2004 14:27 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm the Vapour Trail, apparently...

― aldo_cowpat (aldo_cowpat), Monday, 24 May 2004 14:27 (twenty-two years ago)

Random Brutal Love Master (RBLMf)

You are The Sudden Departure.

ALWAYS AVOID: The Backrubber, The Gentleman

CONSIDER: The Vapor Trail, someone just like you

I don't know, "The Backrubber" sounds like someone I would not avoid at all right now.

― roxymuzak (roxymuzak), Monday, 24 May 2004 14:27 (twenty-two years ago)

But you are brutal.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 24 May 2004 14:31 (twenty-two years ago)

roxymuzak,

WE ARE MADE FOR EACH OTHER.

(according to a website test)

The Vapor Trail is Random Brutal Love Master (RBLMm).

― aldo_cowpat (aldo_cowpat), Monday, 24 May 2004 14:34 (twenty-two years ago)

deliberate brutal love dreamer. sounds about right.

― mark p (Mark P), Monday, 24 May 2004 14:35 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh no!!!!!!! I am the worst option!!! I took it TWICE and attempted to diddle w/ some answers but STILL got this (_please_please- it's not true!! ::ACK::) --->

THE HORNIVORE
Random Brutal Sex Master (RBSMm)

Don't ever marry, you're The Hornivore. Roaming, sexual, subhuman.
The Hornivores (you) are some of the most screwed up and naughty beings in the Universe. And their numbers are growing, mostly due to skipped or misused contraception. You care not. There's one thing you want, one sole need.
Half manly, half bestial, you act on instinct, and animal charisma smoothes the way. It's unlikely
Your exact opposite:
The Slow Dancer

Deliberate Gentle Love Dreamer

you're driven by much other than your own selfish, orgasmic requirements. Your appearance and personality have evolved for the hunt. Ass beckons, you oblige.
For the record, you can happily bang all personality types, however your match percentages might be low with the kinder, more sensible people of the world, purely because they all wish to avoid you. Good luck to them.

"One day, the villagers came with torches to the house. In the smoldering ashes, stray dogs looked for cooked flesh."

and in the confirmation email it told me that i'm a male "genghis khunt" !!

― Vic (Vic), Monday, 24 May 2004 14:35 (twenty-two years ago)

this sounds entertaining and like the way i want to spend the next ten minutes while waiting for the work day to end, but it just won't work. sad.

― colette (a2lette), Monday, 24 May 2004 14:39 (twenty-two years ago)

i'm the sudden departure, aka random brutal love master.

― lauren (laurenp), Monday, 24 May 2004 14:44 (twenty-two years ago)

:(. I'm "The Last Man on Earth"

Sorry, but most men would rather see the human species wither to an end--and therefore deny the most fundamental instinct that living creatures have--than sleep with you.

We've learned the following: you don't think things through. You're haphazard. You're dangerous. You're somewhat inexperienced. It's totally obvious that you're a horny bugger, as well. Everybody knows that and steers clear.

To top things off, when you do find your way into a relationship, you tend to be a dick somewhere down the line and fuck it all up.

There's a small, but negligible, chance we're wrong. In any case, your friends find your shit hilarious. There's nothing cooler than a dude reducing himself to human rubble.

― phil-two (phil-two), Monday, 24 May 2004 14:45 (twenty-two years ago)

That's kind of rough, dude.

― roxymuzak (roxymuzak), Monday, 24 May 2004 14:46 (twenty-two years ago)

i am also a Vapor Trail/Random Brutal Love Master, though i don't think that's really the case.

and i will do virtually anything for back rubs!

― mookieproof (mookieproof), Monday, 24 May 2004 14:47 (twenty-two years ago)

ALWAYS AVOID: The Intern, The Maid of Honor

CONSIDER: The Sudden Departure

― mookieproof (mookieproof), Monday, 24 May 2004 14:47 (twenty-two years ago)

The Hornivore
Random Brutal Sex Master (RBSMm)

Don't ever marry, you're The Hornivore. Roaming, sexual, subhuman.

The Hornivores (you) are some of the most screwed up and naughty beings in the Universe. And their numbers are growing, mostly due to skipped or misused contraception. You care not. There's one thing you want, one sole need.

Half manly, half bestial, you act on instinct, and animal charisma smoothes the way. It's unlikely
Your exact opposite:
The Slow Dancer

Deliberate Gentle Love Dreamer
you're driven by much other than your own selfish, orgasmic requirements. Your appearance and personality have evolved for the hunt. Ass beckons, you oblige.

For the record, you can happily bang all personality types, however your match percentages might be low with the kinder, more sensible people of the world, purely because they all wish to avoid you. Good luck to them.

"One day, the villagers came with torches to the house. In the smoldering ashes, stray dogs looked for cooked flesh."

AVOID: The Priss, The Sonnet
CONSIDER: Half-Cocked, Genghis Khunt

― I'm not surprised :/ (ex machina), Monday, 24 May 2004 14:48 (twenty-two years ago)

i think i just have to twist a few answers and sound nicer, and then my "brutal"-ity can turn into gentleness and i'd become "the Playboy "!! but of course, gentle ppl don't twist answers or take lame internet tests 3 times in a row....i think my naughty-brutal/subhuman nature has been exposed for once and all. sob.

ha, at least there's another Hornivore

― Vic (Vic), Monday, 24 May 2004 14:50 (twenty-two years ago)

Genghis Khunt?

― mark grout (mark grout), Monday, 24 May 2004 14:50 (twenty-two years ago)

i am: The Wild Rose
Random Brutal Love Dreamer (RBLDf)

― Heidi D. (Heidi D.), Monday, 24 May 2004 14:52 (twenty-two years ago)

LAUREN, LET'S HANG OUT

― Be sure to Loop! Loop, Loop, Loop. (ex machina), Monday, 24 May 2004 14:53 (twenty-two years ago)

random gentle love master, the peach.

― teeny (teeny), Monday, 24 May 2004 14:58 (twenty-two years ago)

BUT I'M A SPINSTER, JW!

― lauren (laurenp), Monday, 24 May 2004 15:00 (twenty-two years ago)

We're all random. Color me surprised.

― roxymuzak (roxymuzak), Monday, 24 May 2004 15:08 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm the windowshopper.

― mandee, Monday, 24 May 2004 15:20 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.nostalgiacentral.com/images_movie/usa/haroldmaude.JPG

"SIGHTINGS RULES!@@!@!@!"

― Be sure to Loop! Loop, Loop, Loop. (ex machina), Monday, 24 May 2004 15:21 (twenty-two years ago)

The Manchild

Random Brutal Love Dreamer

ALWAYS AVOID: The Dirty Little Secret

CONSIDER: The Sudden Departure.

Your exact opposite: The Bachelor.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Monday, 24 May 2004 15:22 (twenty-two years ago)

JW YOU ARE THE BEST.

― lauren (laurenp), Monday, 24 May 2004 15:27 (twenty-two years ago)

if only he looked like Bud Cort.

― hstencil (hstencil), Monday, 24 May 2004 15:31 (twenty-two years ago)

I am a hornivore, obv. Don't know why I needed to take this test to find that out.

― hstencil (hstencil), Monday, 24 May 2004 15:31 (twenty-two years ago)

My God...a Hornivore! I thought they were the stuff of legend!

The second fun part of course is answering more questions and getting matched up.

― Paul Eater (eater), Monday, 24 May 2004 15:37 (twenty-two years ago)

i want a backrub.

― stockholm cindy (Jody Beth Rosen), Monday, 24 May 2004 15:40 (twenty-two years ago)

has anyone looked at their suggested matches? it's kind of... horrifying.

― lauren (laurenp), Monday, 24 May 2004 15:50 (twenty-two years ago)

hornivores unite!! we must find ourselves some genghis khuntz to party w/ .

― Vic (Vic), Monday, 24 May 2004 15:51 (twenty-two years ago)

There were two trucker hats on my first page of matches.

― Be sure to Loop! Loop, Loop, Loop. (ex machina), Monday, 24 May 2004 15:54 (twenty-two years ago)

I didn't do matches, apparently my being in a long-term relationship doesn't affect my hornivore status.

― hstencil (hstencil), Monday, 24 May 2004 15:55 (twenty-two years ago)

YES the matches were horrifiying since i JUST SAW THE PROFILE OF SOMEONE I WAS EMOTIONALLY INVOLVED WITH THAT I WISH DEATH UPON, etc oh no. how "random" - [can i blame this perrson for my current "brutality" ?]. i guess it also doesn't help that Person lives 7 miles away and is an internet addict as well, so i should've figured It would have filled one of these things out and matched up w/ me since apparently they show everyone local in regards to the gender(s) you're looking for

― Vic (Vic), Monday, 24 May 2004 15:56 (twenty-two years ago)

Not creepy at all.

― Be sure to Loop! Loop, Loop, Loop. (ex machina), Monday, 24 May 2004 15:58 (twenty-two years ago)

Sorry, Vic. My 80+% matches are mostly actually pretty cute. But I've spent a while refining them.

― Paul Eater (eater), Monday, 24 May 2004 16:02 (twenty-two years ago)

yeah i'm actually pretty disturbed since this is the last Person i'd like to think about right now. i believe i'm going to step away from the computer. ass must be beckoning somewhere....i must oblige

― Vic (Vic), Monday, 24 May 2004 16:04 (twenty-two years ago)

A lot of the people on this thing from my neck of the woods play dungeons and dragons, or as one fast-typing goth vixen put it, "dragons and dragons".

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Monday, 24 May 2004 16:26 (twenty-two years ago)

It seems sadly accurate:

The Last Man on Earth
Random Brutal Sex Dreamer

Sorry, but most women would rather see the human species wither to an end--and therefore deny the most fundamental instinct that living creatures have--than sleep with you.

Yeah, that would be about right.

― Skottie, Monday, 24 May 2004 16:26 (twenty-two years ago)

my matches are all ugly. : (

― hstencil (hstencil), Monday, 24 May 2004 16:31 (twenty-two years ago)

That site just seems to be full of people who got nervously sucked into it after doing the Spark test. I am a Boy Next Door, irritatingly. I am also less aggressive and less arrogant than everyone. I must've beens seriously holding back the smug for that second one.

Tons of giddy American teenagers message me telling me I am beautiful and have excellent hair, and then I just feel guilty at how flagrantly dishonest the photographs I've posted are. It is oddly compulsive.

― Fergal (Ferg), Monday, 24 May 2004 16:33 (twenty-two years ago)

Haha I am the Loverboy! SHOCKER!

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 24 May 2004 16:43 (twenty-two years ago)

Do you regularly cross your fingers in front of your red-pants-sheathed ass?

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 24 May 2004 16:43 (twenty-two years ago)

Skipping 1359 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

*short circuit* brrrggdgajkdgwje *short circuit*

you're totally right.

― jel -- (jel), Thursday, 3 June 2004 08:01 (twenty-two years ago)

yes, i didnt mean to sound harsh. but you seem so resigned all the time, like, as though its too late.

its not too late

― charltonlido (gareth), Thursday, 3 June 2004 08:46 (twenty-two years ago)

come round the corner at a rate
risked her love but you're gonna set things straight
never again are you gonna be late
never again are you gonna be late
never again are you gonna be late

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 3 June 2004 08:58 (twenty-two years ago)

what is it with the streets quotes on this thread? well i can count two so far, anyway.

― dog latin (dog latin), Thursday, 3 June 2004 10:01 (twenty-two years ago)

Kim! Ignore Carsmile, he has a lovely wife already! Move to London!

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Thursday, 3 June 2004 16:14 (twenty-two years ago)

boink!

thought something was missing from ILX tonight! There, that put the world to rights!

― dog latin (dog latin), Thursday, 3 June 2004 23:20 (twenty-two years ago)

jel, just send somebody a message. leave west london for the day jel
do something. try

perhaps what is more important to gareth is less important to jel?

― gabbneb (gabbneb), Thursday, 3 June 2004 23:37 (twenty-two years ago)

what's your point?

― the surface noise for the sake of noise (electricsound), Thursday, 3 June 2004 23:39 (twenty-two years ago)

some of the profiles are just unbelievable. novelist's field day kind of stuff. i start to get paranoid and think "maybe half of these are carefully crafted piss-takes." and, well, i'm sure many of them are. but some are just SO CRAZY and i always remember that truth is stranger than fiction, occam's razor blah blah. besides, it's more interesting to believe. so with all that in mind. check this out.

http://is2.okcupid.com/thumbs/179/17946495121793951924/1080763606.jpg

I'm a little city girl in a little town in arizona. i just moved here from new york city. i take great pleasure in things like the talking heads, potty humor, atkins ice cream, coffee, playing dirty and steel guitar.

What I'm doing with my life:
going pre-med and getting a masters in psychology. staying alive and laughing at you.

I'm really good at:
guitar, classical piano, working with animals, working with old people, recording and producing electronic music, standup comedy, hair.

The first thing(s) people usually notice about me:
my sense of humor, my hair and my tendency to take over the entire room.

The best movie I've seen in the last year:
big fish!

The SIX things I could never do without:
spirituality, literature, my guitar, my bed, a notebook and my dog

The person I'd most like to trade brains with:
oliver sacks. he saw some shit.

On a typical Friday night I am:
having coffee with people from the AA meeting i just went to.

The most private thing I'm willing to admit here is:
i'm a former crack addict and alcoholic.

You should message me if:
you have anything to say. at all.

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Friday, 4 June 2004 00:01 (twenty-two years ago)

toopretentiousformakeoutclub.com

― the surface noise for the sake of noise (electricsound), Friday, 4 June 2004 00:02 (twenty-two years ago)

wait do you think she's pretentious??? or do you mean okcupid in general? is makeoutclub where all the scruffy and authentic, uh, internet matchmaking happens?

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Friday, 4 June 2004 00:07 (twenty-two years ago)

this is gonna unweildify this thread for good, let's hope it crashes everyone's browser:

http://img44.photobucket.com/albums/v134/tracerhand/computer_sex_1969.jpg

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Friday, 4 June 2004 00:09 (twenty-two years ago)

based on what you copied there yes, totally

i actually don't know anything about makeoutclub other than it's full of emo tools saying stuff like "don't message me if you're ugly" or something

(xpost)

― the surface noise for the sake of noise (electricsound), Friday, 4 June 2004 00:10 (twenty-two years ago)

"standup comedy hair"

― dog latin (dog latin), Friday, 4 June 2004 07:16 (twenty-two years ago)

I love you, Tracer.

― Paul Eater (eater), Friday, 4 June 2004 13:27 (twenty-two years ago)

Do the proper thing and send him a woo for god's sake. Tsk, these young people today, no idea of the rules of courtship.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Friday, 4 June 2004 13:31 (twenty-two years ago)

someone woo-ed me.

― cozen (Cozen), Friday, 4 June 2004 18:19 (twenty-two years ago)

I got a woo! Did any of N's supah-secret questions ever get accepted?

― Gregory Henry (Gregory Henry), Saturday, 5 June 2004 01:12 (twenty-two years ago)

Young people are fine as long as they get out my way when they're told.

― Jonathan Ballsup (dog latin), Saturday, 5 June 2004 02:46 (twenty-two years ago)

But Paul, are you and Tracer matches?

― tokyo rosemary (rosemary), Saturday, 5 June 2004 03:30 (twenty-two years ago)

three more woos! I feel like I've missed some brilliant party.

― Gregory Henry (Gregory Henry), Saturday, 5 June 2004 10:08 (twenty-two years ago)

gregory henry, you cheeky so-and-so. the party ain't over yet.

― dog latin (dog latin), Saturday, 5 June 2004 10:24 (twenty-two years ago)

Afterparty! Hotel lobby! REMIX!

― Gregory Henry (Gregory Henry), Saturday, 5 June 2004 11:09 (twenty-two years ago)

(hahaha, I just found the post with the list of all the ilx usernames, dog latin is like my top male local match)

― Gregory Henry (Gregory Henry), Saturday, 5 June 2004 12:53 (twenty-two years ago)

Martin Skidmore is my girlfriend's best match in the entire world, at 90%.

― Chris H. (chrisherbert), Sunday, 13 June 2004 00:19 (twenty-two years ago)

Don't hate, appreciate.

― roxymuzak (roxymuzak), Sunday, 13 June 2004 03:06 (twenty-two years ago)

And where does your girlfriend live, Chris...?

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Sunday, 13 June 2004 11:00 (twenty-two years ago)

Philadelphia, you miserable cuckold.

― Chris H. (chrisherbert), Monday, 14 June 2004 22:04 (twenty-two years ago)

three months pass...

I want a penpal.

― cºzen (Cozen), Sunday, 19 September 2004 15:33 (twenty-one years ago)

who doesn't?

― lauren (laurenp), Sunday, 19 September 2004 15:36 (twenty-one years ago)

I want a pen.

― jel -- (jel), Sunday, 19 September 2004 15:36 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm offering.

― cºzen (Cozen), Sunday, 19 September 2004 15:37 (twenty-one years ago)

Does it write good?

― jel -- (jel), Sunday, 19 September 2004 15:37 (twenty-one years ago)

I don't have any pens. that's not the reason I don't have a penpal. I'm offering.

― cºzen (Cozen), Sunday, 19 September 2004 15:38 (twenty-one years ago)

this cupid is not even OK.

― cºzen (Cozen), Sunday, 19 September 2004 15:39 (twenty-one years ago)

then we should all be penpals, once you and jel find pens.

xpost

that cupid is a horrible bastard.

― lauren (laurenp), Sunday, 19 September 2004 15:40 (twenty-one years ago)

OK. good plan.

― cºzen (Cozen), Sunday, 19 September 2004 15:41 (twenty-one years ago)

i could mail pens to you.

― lauren (laurenp), Sunday, 19 September 2004 15:44 (twenty-one years ago)

International pen exchange - it'll be the cool new thing!

― jel -- (jel), Sunday, 19 September 2004 15:46 (twenty-one years ago)

Is there a Greek God of writing and pens?

― jel -- (jel), Sunday, 19 September 2004 15:48 (twenty-one years ago)

There's an Eygptian one called Seshat!

"Seshat is the Goddess of Libraries, all forms
of Writing and the Measurement of Time."

Ok! Seshat!

― jel -- (jel), Sunday, 19 September 2004 15:51 (twenty-one years ago)

that's weird.. the czech word for notebook is sesit, pronounced "seshit".

― lauren (laurenp), Sunday, 19 September 2004 15:52 (twenty-one years ago)

ok, penpals and we can seshit, via writing, and stuff. me, jel, lauren.

― cºzen (Cozen), Sunday, 19 September 2004 15:54 (twenty-one years ago)

I've just looked at OK Cupid for the first time. I didn't register, but I took the Slut Test. I am 40% slut, which makes me sluttier than ppl at every one of America's Top Colleges with the exception of Columbia.

― MarkH (MarkH), Sunday, 19 September 2004 15:59 (twenty-one years ago)

Ok Cupid called me a 46% slut and an economic liberal. I don't think I think economic liberal means the same thing as they think it does though. Still no woos.

― Cathy (Cathy), Sunday, 19 September 2004 16:31 (twenty-one years ago)

I've been on this thing for like a month and I haven't been wooed or messaged by anyone yet. :(

― Richard C (avoid80), Sunday, 19 September 2004 16:46 (twenty-one years ago)

I just took the Alcohol Test and I am quite satisfied with the result:

"The Party-er

Your alcoholism index is 50%

Good news, you animal! You are The Party-er. You drink alcohol sometimes, and you might even like to get wasted on occasion. It appears, however, you are not an alcoholic. "

http://is0.okcupid.com/mt_pics/705/7055112809383642671/7846640623433947945-1.gif

― MarkH (MarkH), Monday, 20 September 2004 20:10 (twenty-one years ago)

and on the Weirdness Test:

"Downright Quirky
Wooo! You scored 61%!

Yes, the fish are nice, and the peanut butter is better. But you know all about that, don't you? I'm proud of you, you can exist in a little bubble of weirdness so many lesser people dream about. Just remember that if you push it too far, the bastards will try and lock you up.... haha! Let them try! "

Not quite sure why you have to be 18 to play *this* one. Can't you be weird at any age???

― MarkH (MarkH), Monday, 20 September 2004 20:14 (twenty-one years ago)

Man, my alchoholism index was like 86% or something.

― roxymuzak (roxymuzak), Monday, 20 September 2004 21:44 (twenty-one years ago)

damn! 85%!

― dog latin (dog latin), Monday, 20 September 2004 22:37 (twenty-one years ago)

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