holy fuck, i have a crush on my boss

Request seconded.

get in.

i think it might be very wise to tell him something of my crush soon.

the something of a backstory:

the problem that sprang up on saturday night: during a screening at the film archive(where we work), my boss saw me cuddling with another guy. the guy happens to be one of my best friends and happens to be 24, japanese, and in the process of learning english. during the screening, he asked, "...., can i kiss you?xovajfoajaeoi..," and snuggled up to me,and i didn't have the heart to immediately say no. the guy has lived in the states for 4 months only and would not understand a simple no or a brief explanation in english. i think it would have undoubtedly bruised his ego because i know that he had to work up a lot of courage to ask me such a question. the kissing question was so unexpected(!), and for the next few minutes i snuggled with him, gave him a few warm but indifferent(i think), and shrugged him off as gently as i could. over the course of the evening, i told him as slowly as i could that i wasn't really interested in him as a lover. he understood and i couldn't have launched into a long and slow explanation and disturb the film screening.

well, my boss saw that, shit!, and he might think that i might be unavailable and/or a floozy or fucking and climbling my way up the art network locally(my dear japanese friend has connections). also, my good friend happens to look 19 and my boss is in his 40's. (by the way, i'm 24)

a pressing idea: i have to tell him the truth about what he saw on saturday night somehow. don't have to necessarily tell him that i have a mad crush on him, but the thing is if he has half a brain, he can easily ask himself, "why is she telling me this?" and he will KNOW WHY. or he could ask me , "why are you telling me this?" and then i will have to tell him. sure, i could be crafty and tell him slyly in conversation during a coffee break, but my heart most likely will be racing and i'll be blushing and yeah, he'll know.

i had hopes that i our whatever-you-want-to-call-it relationship would develop slowly and when something would happen it wouldn't be so blatant. it wouldn't be something where i explain to him how i am not with the person he saw me kissing , and by way of that, reveal to him that yeah, i do truly dig him. and i think he digs me, know it, but i just know that his attraction to me ran deeper before the fucking shit that happened on saturday. i want to tell him something before his attraction to me starts to diminish even further.

damnit, i've taken 15 minutes out from work and they're calling me. gotta run.

but to answer the question HELLO guys love the chase, keep snogging other people and he'd be onto you like a rash.

I assume you mean "gave him a few warm but indifferent kisses," though I have no fucking idea what "warm but indifferent" means in the context of kissing someone.

-- martin m. (marti...), May 25th, 2004.

come 'ere and i'll show you