did you belong to a fraternity or a sorority and if so do you have any amusing stories to share with us?

Fill in the blanks as to the unimaginable stench that follows.

When she was still going to college, they had a "James Bond party" which I attended, and being the only British man in a tux, I won many plaudits and congratulations. I then got spectacularly drunk and hassled an English professor in an eyepatch until I threw up tangerines outside on the porch.

Of course, the English professor was probably meant to be some sort of "villain", but I had drunk so much tequila that I forgot the circumstances of the party and assumed that he was just some quirky character there for my entertainment.

I've been to my share of frat parties, some have been outrageous good times, others complete duds.

she wasn't home when he came to pick it up. he knocked on the door and said 'i'm here for my coat' in a really nasty tone. i said i didn't know him and didn't know what he was talking about. he got snotty and said 'some bitch took my coat at the party this weekend.'

so i proceeded to back him out into the hallway, and started screaming at him. asking if he was the frat fuck that had let my roommate walk home drunk and alone, after getting her nice new coat stolen by his other frathole friends, although she was probably safer in the streets than in a house full of date rapists, and if he ever came to my room again, or i ever heard him calling a woman a bitch again, i'd kick him in the fucking teeth.

and threw the coat out the window.

ann arbor is a small city. i heard the story about the 'mental girl' that 'totally flipped' on our lovely 'brother' many times over the next four years. and laughed at the memory of his face as i slammed the door in it.

(side note: at one stage i thought 'oh, maybe i'm jumping to conclusions. maybe they are nice people.' so i got a job as a photographer at greek parties and soon learned that all the stereotypes are true. that's why, to this day, i affectionately call the collective greeks 'fratholes' 'sororowhores' or 'sorostitutes'. and yes, i do call my country a cunt.)

I attended a giant state university in the south.
I have issues with Greek organizations.

GLEN GLEN GLEN!

they also had this creepy masonic secercy, an obsession with which powerful rich white men were part of their history, a kind of brother hood i would never really grok or have the privelege of having and enough sublimated homoeroticism to float several navy destroyers, and odd slightly patronizing, slightly demeaning realtionships to women, like they refused to engage w. them as people.

i was pegged against the wall multiple times by a soapy female who had a pension for nut grabbing

What the hell is a foam party? Is the pegging an integral part of it?

-It was a tradition during a certain weekend that they'd try to break in and steal our house charter, so our defenses got more and more elaborate. First buckets of water. Then Supersoakers filled with piss. Soon we'd prepare for this weekend by collecting all of our piss, vomit and other nasty bodily excretions in trash cans. The first wave of them to try to assault the house that weekend got a BIG surprise.

-We got our hands on a huge pile of fish guts, snuck into their house and hid it all over. Under cushions. On the radiators. It stunk for weeks, they had to leave their windows open with fans going (in the dead of winter, mind you) for several days just to air the place out.

-We stole a historic painting from their house and hid it in our bathroom. Campus security was sure we did it and swept the whole house searching for it, but the dumbasses never thought to check the bathroom stall. The papers reported it was worth like $18,000 and decided we better give it back.

-All sorts of minor harassment. We'd drop roadkill on their porch. They'd steal the 8-ball from our pool table, again and again (you know how hard it is to replace just the 8-ball?) They'd trash our bathrooms during parties, throwing trash & toilet paper around and scrawling "FAGGUTS" on the mirrors. We'd spit in their lunches (long story).

-Oh, they were a big time hazing house and we weren't, but that didn't mean we couldn't abuse their pledges. We'd call up their pledges at like 3 in the morning and yell "GET OUT TO THE HOUSE NOW MOTHERFUCKER. BRING US DIP. AND YOU BETTER BE IN SUIT AND TIE." Then we'd watch as 15 minutes later this dazed, suit-wearing doofus wanders over from the freshman dorms, goes in their house, and comes back out 2 minutes later with a real angry look on his face.

Good times.

the act of a straight woman nailing a straight man in the ass with a strap on.

"Cyndi was pegging me until my ass was raw last night."

(yeah, that's 'beer' backwards)

i was too busy being an actual member of the fashion police to play frat with them. pity. i think they got business cards printed up and everything.

I was part of a student gov't group that engaged in somewhat greek-like activities.

-each semester we'd have a retreat somewhere in the hill country that was basically just an excuse to get unbelievably trashed out in the wilderness. We had a tradition of making the new members swim in the 'crick', in their clothes, at midnight after everyone had been drinking since noon. After a greek-saturated spirit group called the Texas Cowboys had an iniate drown in a similar stunt and were shut down, we ended the 'crick swimming' thing.

We also had a rivalry going with the Business Council (we were the Liberal Arts Council). every year there was a big softball game and the winners got to keep the prized 'golden softball' in their office for a year. (said ball was actually a regular softball colored with yellow highlighter). Whichever team had lost had to attempt to steal the ball at some time during the year. Lots of inventive schemes to break into the offices etc. would enuse.

the best was one year when a couple of our guys dressed up in work jumpsuits went to their office and told the bimbo watching it that they were univ workers there to check their computers. She let them in and they fiddled around with the computers (about which they knew fuck all) until she wasn't watching and snatched the ball.

Another year our president went running through their staid meeting (we usually held ours at a bar) butt naked with their golden softball. (this is the guy who was in "Austin Stories", whoever wanted that tape, mail me. I forgot.)

Once, we let boxes of live crickets loose through their mail slot. and we ran an ad for pedigreed poodle puppies in the paper using their office number. heh. The worse they did to us was break in and write 'loser hippies' on our banner. yeah, whatever.

Years later, I worked with an alum who had been in business council. We hissed at each other. good times.

what were u dressed as?

evil nemesis Plankton would be my guess

i was a mailbox. i wore a hooded sweatshirt with like, a foam flap pinned to the front of it as the door and a red foam "flag".

the girl i was dating at the time was a package, and wrapped herself in bubble wrap and stamps. she said that our costumes undermined gender roles because in terms of a mailbox and a package, she was the "phallic" element and i was the "yonic" element. she didn't tell me that until after we had already made the costumes though; it wasn't planned. maybe we were insufferable... or at least not the kind of people to fit in at frats.

u'll fit in fine at u of ilx

:-)

I was in a fraternity that mainly did stupid shit when we went to visit other chapters around the country. We had a closet full of memorabilia from every place we visited, ranging from a 120 year old stuffed owl to a full set of Duke blue foosball men. We got such a rep over a number of years that the national leadership came to visit and we had to return some of the stuff we couldn't hide. Like the full set of plate armor we took from the founding chapter house.

We did have stupid theme parties, like a Columbus Day party in 1992 celebrating 400 years of early 80s music, and a St. Ides of March toga & malt liquor night. We also thought it was a good idea to have literally multiple tons of sand delivered to our house so we could build a pyramid on our patio. I don't remember why we had an Egyptian beach party but we did.

lol @ st. ides of march. your frat seems chill/ like it had a sense of humor about itself. what school did you attend?

William & Mary. We were the nerd frat, full of artists and scientists and radio disc jockeys, and every year had the highest GPA of any of the Greek organizations. From what I can tell on Facebook about 40% of my brothers ended up as lawyers. We were the place you went to dance at parties, not get drunkenly groped. When Nirvana hit we were suddenly cool and it kinda went downhill, bit by bit. By the late 90s/early 00s (I'm not sure on specifics) they got themselves kicked off campus and the charter revoked. Shame, really. But some alum from my era and earlier have been helping to bring it back, and reports from friends are that the project is going well.

the email was kind of amazing. like if malcolm tucker was a sorority girl. she sounds like an awful person obviously but i just need to hear that email, like, performed

like seriously. CUNT PUNT.

i fell in love with her a tiny bit

i keep reading bits of it out loud

"if you're a weird shit that does weird shit during the day" is underrated

can't let go of I WILL FUCKING ASSAULT YOU, just says it all

it is too bad that a little asswipe that stands in the corners at night or a weird shit that does weird shit during the day is too long for a display name.

(yes, yes I am)

SIGMA NU IS NOT GOING TO WANT TO HANG OUT WITH US IF WE FUCKING SUCK

from what I know about "frat culture" this strikes me as untrue

i hope she took inspiration from

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K9h_I90M8-M

I'M A BAD BITCH - I'M A CUNT
AND I'LL KICK THAT HO - PUNT

http://gawker.com/michael-shannon-offers-dramatic-reading-of-insane-soror-477144462?utm_campaign=socialflow_gawker_facebook&utm_source=gawker_facebook&utm_medium=socialflow

i just need to hear that email, like, performed

haha he heard you!

it wasn't peter capaldi or rachel mcadams (or both...together? omg) but it's still everything

holy shit that's genius getting michael shannon

my fave boardwalk empire scene by many many miles
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zhaOsF7F050

CUNT PUNT

I still can't get over it.

she's just so mean. i can't help but respect it a little.

i feel bad for that girl; or like, i feel a pang of embarrassment when i think of her, because america thinks she is insane, but i have to admit that that letter is hilarious, especially because i can imagine a sorority girl at my college writing a thing like that.

i feel like there must have been an element of irony in the letter, no? like, she takes greek life seriously, but she knows its superficial, so to get all overblown indignant about it is on one level a joke, but not really....

tbh I was kinda feeling her when she said girls were cheering for the other team at sporting events

even I was like OKAY WHAT THE FUCK LADIES

^^^^gets it

lol.

plz, america thinks she's management material

yeah. i probably shouldn't worry about her... if she was the kind of person who didn't want to be seen as an unhinged manaic with no perspective, she wouldn't have written that email

While we're sorta on this topic,wasn't there a thread a couple of years ago titled "those darn fratboys" or something? I'm having trouble digging it up.

Bump this thread whenever another fraternity gets caught throwing a racist party
?

No, not that one. It was like, for when we caught other ilxors using "fratboy" as a sort of sloppy shorthand. It might have been mostly an ilm thing.

i remember the thread, can't remember what it was called or if it was deleted for being mean

I don't remember it as being particularly mean. Calling people out for using strawmen its probably a contender for the state sport of ilx. I guess it could have also gotten mean at some point though. Hmm...

some people are of the opinion that calling them out for anything is being mean.

i dunno, i just had a vague memory that there was some controv but it might've sunk for other reasons

OK I had/have no idea who Michael Shannon even is but that video was excllent.

The video was pretty great.

I do not like this woman, though. Did you see all her racist tweets? Psychotically angry, creatively enraged emails are not enough to redeem her gross racist ass.

Yeah, she's pretty obviously the worst. I'm just cherry-picking "cunt punt" and "if you are a little asswipe that stands in the corners at night or if you're a weird shit that does weird shit during the day" for future use and moving on with my weird shit.

"cunt punt" has a lot of return value, I agree. A friend of mine tweeted yesterday that she wanted to "cunt punt mother nature" which made me snortOL.

ha!

There's this, but it's not the one I'm thinking of.

"frat boys" as a review cliche (lazy question)

For the first two years of college I went to a school who had this really weird arrangement. Originally it had been two colleges, one all women and the other all men. Eventually they joined together in some ways (one administration and faculty) but kept separate identities and the women still graduated from one school and then men from the other and they kept their own traditions. It was written into the women's school's charter that they were never to have sororities but the men's school had frats. It was sort of weird being on a campus with only frats but not sororities but I'm kind of glad it was like that if this is what sorority girls are like. I dated a guy who was in a frat but it was pretty much the chillest one ever. I practically lived there for two years and all we did was get stoned, eat pizza, and listen to music. The guys were really great. Some of the others did not have such good reputations.

I attended a school for a while where all the frats had frat-houses, but all the sororities lived in dorms among the rest of the students. There were other "campus houses" too, the one that springs to mind was a jazz house where all the members of the jazz combo lived. I'm not sure what the rules were that kept the sororities in the dorms.

Oh we had houses like that too. I remember farm house where the hippies who lived there kept a farm and writers' house which I thought I wanted to live in before I realized that all the residents were assholes.

http://shine.yahoo.com/healthy-living/sorority-girl-email-writer--resigns--from-delta-gamma-172810311.html

Why is that posted under "Healthy Living"? Unless Healthy Living:Yahoo :: Lifestyle:NYT

Ha ha. So, Facebook has been all the rage for the past few years, I keep getting invited to all of these parties, and after all of these years, these girls from my high school who were readily accepted into sororities have suddenly decided that they are my friend and that they want to be friends with my friends. But back in the day, we weren't accepted into those same sororities because of what our dads did for a living, or where we grew up, or in some cases, were Jewish or something, and frankly, I'm irritated that now they're all contrite about certain things they did back then. I mean, back then, I was told that I could "pass" for one of them but I was offended because those sororities didn't accept Jewish girls and you know, back in the day I used to run into those classmates and they'd be all twirling their hair and talking about their sorority like there was nothing wrong at the heart of their social system. I mean, if you didn't know back then, and if daddy's connections couldn't buy you a clue after eighteen years of education, why the fuck should I go out of my way for you now?

it was a fraternity at the time, though I think now it has been re-classified as a program house, and the president no longer has to deal with being on "Greek Council" and the awfulness of the other frats/sororities.

it was so "opposite" to standard fraternity culture-wise, like at our house, instead of a "dealer" who would sell coke and date rape drugs, we had an alumnus that would come around who collected Magic The Gathering cards and would sell some of his powerful and/or rare ones at a discount.