Can you guess what Norman Tebbit blamed the rise in obesity in British kids on?

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On the today programme this morning - he said gay marriage.

Kids are fat because family life is disintegrating, and the government doesn't incentivise women to stay at home and makes gay marriage legit.

Staggering; I know he's a cunt, but sometimes, the sheer wankerness of some people truly takes your breath away.

― Dave B (daveb), Thursday, 27 May 2004 09:57 (twenty-two years ago)

Kids don't get fat because family life is disintegrating. So, stop there, tebbo already.

― mark grout (mark grout), Thursday, 27 May 2004 10:00 (twenty-two years ago)

but if this was on the Today programme shurely the interviewer would've made mincemeat of this argument?

― MarkH (MarkH), Thursday, 27 May 2004 10:03 (twenty-two years ago)

I recall him being asked by Trevor McDonald what his attitude to multiculturalism was and he replied 'everyone hates a mongrel, don't they?'. I was amazed he said it, and more amazed that McDonald continued to smile at him in a kindly way. Sheesh.

― Dave B (daveb), Thursday, 27 May 2004 10:05 (twenty-two years ago)

It reminds me of a debate we had in class one time. "Is p0rn good or bad". One lad stood against porn, because it "meant the woman going out to work when she should be at home cleaning/tidying/raising kids". So he had to stand 'over there' with all the girls anti. Quite an uncomfortable group there...

― mark grout (mark grout), Thursday, 27 May 2004 10:06 (twenty-two years ago)

If Tebbit's not a latent homosexual, I'm a treefrog called Betty.

Australia's actually paying people to have kids now. You get something like $3,000 when you have a kid, plus all these tax concessions and things. Like the world needs more people.

― Pack Yr Romantic Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Thursday, 27 May 2004 10:09 (twenty-two years ago)

my jaw dropped when i heard this this morning. to be fair to him he did retract the gay marriage bit a moment later (although in between he'd blithered on about the government "promoting buggery", so i didn't fell inclined to be fair to him).

― toby (tsg20), Thursday, 27 May 2004 10:10 (twenty-two years ago)

they'd be better off paying ppl to adopt kids.

― MarkH (MarkH), Thursday, 27 May 2004 10:10 (twenty-two years ago)

Hahaha "the government is promoting BUGGERY!"

It's good that they let Norman Tebbit on the radio as it reminds you what the Tories are really like under the nu-cuddly exterior. Still I can't help liking Boris Johnson...

― Mog, Thursday, 27 May 2004 10:11 (twenty-two years ago)

Isn't it amazing that the people that many people trusted to govern them, turn out 20 years on to be barking mad in such a way as to show it's not a recent development?

― mark grout (mark grout), Thursday, 27 May 2004 10:12 (twenty-two years ago)

( I thought it was Frank Skinner doing that? or is it alright if it's hetero, norm?)

― mark grout (mark grout), Thursday, 27 May 2004 10:12 (twenty-two years ago)

They'll have to in three years, when all the new parents who got their money dump the kids in adoption agencies.

xpost

― Pack Yr Romantic Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Thursday, 27 May 2004 10:12 (twenty-two years ago)

Gays - don't do it up the bum, or you become lardy.

― Dave B (daveb), Thursday, 27 May 2004 10:14 (twenty-two years ago)

Yeah, it's like pumping up a balloon.

― Pack Yr Romantic Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Thursday, 27 May 2004 10:15 (twenty-two years ago)

In fairness Tebbit was always clearly a cunt. The memory of the Spitting Image puppet of him in bondage gear is making me hopeful for the nwe series (though I shouldn't be).

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Thursday, 27 May 2004 10:15 (twenty-two years ago)

It's funny how the tories are looking forward to it, like they never did with other series...

― mark grout (mark grout), Thursday, 27 May 2004 10:17 (twenty-two years ago)

haha they have spent years scrubbing "personalities" from their ranks for this very purpose!

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Thursday, 27 May 2004 10:19 (twenty-two years ago)

Tebbo: Is there anything he can't blame on Buggery?

― mark grout (mark grout), Thursday, 27 May 2004 10:22 (twenty-two years ago)

Teenage pregnancy?

― N. (nickdastoor), Thursday, 27 May 2004 10:26 (twenty-two years ago)

That's the fault of immigration though N.

― Dave B (daveb), Thursday, 27 May 2004 10:27 (twenty-two years ago)

Teenage pregnancy is the fault of the gay mafia telling kids that they can't get AIDS if they are under 21.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Thursday, 27 May 2004 10:40 (twenty-two years ago)

I thought the answer to this would be "black people"

― Dadaismus (Dada), Thursday, 27 May 2004 10:47 (twenty-two years ago)

In fairness Tebbit was always clearly a cunt

Yup, blinkered partisan consistency is a truly admirable quality.

― Huey (Huey), Thursday, 27 May 2004 12:53 (twenty-two years ago)

A Rise In Norman Tebbit Blame On Obese British Children.

Norman is a chubby chasing paedo!

― Pete (Pete), Thursday, 27 May 2004 12:58 (twenty-two years ago)

four years pass...

http://www.independent.co.uk/multimedia/archive/00174/lord-tebbit_174977s.jpg

Lord Tebbit has almost finished writing his first children's book, to be published at the end of the year. It tells the story of a young boy, Sam, who is left wheelchair-bound and low in spirits after a car accident until he embarks on an adventure with his dog, Ben. They discover that Sam's father, who died in the same car crash, was murdered.

"Children love action and this boy is part of a broken family which adds to his difficulties," said Lord Tebbit. "His mother moved out of home to live with a schoolteacher. His father had been a TV crime reporter who was on the track of a big drugs cartel. The boy and the dog participate in a sting against the drug dealers at the end of the book."

― Enemy Insects (NickB), Monday, 18 May 2009 08:57 (seventeen years ago)

^ ILX should write this book for him

― Enemy Insects (NickB), Monday, 18 May 2009 08:58 (seventeen years ago)

Ben is a mongrel.

Nobody loves him, including Ben.

(cf: upthread)

― Mark G, Monday, 18 May 2009 09:03 (seventeen years ago)

including Sam, I mean. Or, the dog hates himself, possibly.

― Mark G, Monday, 18 May 2009 09:04 (seventeen years ago)

I'm thinking that the schoolteacher was a female here.

― Enemy Insects (NickB), Monday, 18 May 2009 09:07 (seventeen years ago)

Now we're cookin'

― Mark G, Monday, 18 May 2009 09:09 (seventeen years ago)

Having a hard time linking the mum to the cartel. Maybe they were smuggling some sort of drug that makes you gay?

― Enemy Insects (NickB), Monday, 18 May 2009 09:12 (seventeen years ago)

Gay Gene.

― Mark G, Monday, 18 May 2009 09:12 (seventeen years ago)

The teacher's name? Oh, yes.

― Enemy Insects (NickB), Monday, 18 May 2009 09:13 (seventeen years ago)

Yeah, that makes sense.

Umm....

So, the dog gets the scent, but goes nutso drug crazy, and drags Sam in his wheelechair, husky style, to an illegal rave...

― Mark G, Monday, 18 May 2009 09:17 (seventeen years ago)

Also he's in a wheelchair after he was run down by a gypsy.

― Enormous Epic (Matt DC), Monday, 18 May 2009 09:20 (seventeen years ago)

Okay involved in a head-on collision with a gypsy. Possibly linked to a drug cartel.

― Enormous Epic (Matt DC), Monday, 18 May 2009 09:22 (seventeen years ago)

What's the name of the Boy's Own style cartoon in Viz in which the plucky young hero shops minimum wage young mothers for claiming slightly too much in benefits? Basically, this book is going to be that.

― zero learnt from nero (Neil S), Monday, 18 May 2009 09:23 (seventeen years ago)

Jack Black? and his trusty binbag?

I dunno, it was a lonnng timmme agooooo...

― Mark G, Monday, 18 May 2009 09:28 (seventeen years ago)

Are you thinking of 'Black Bag - The Faithful Border Bin Liner'?

― go and put your f'kin torn jeans on (onimo), Monday, 18 May 2009 09:34 (seventeen years ago)

that too. I may be conflating two columns.

― Mark G, Monday, 18 May 2009 09:39 (seventeen years ago)

Sting operation involves asking the gang members which cricket team they support. The villains blunder and reply 'Pakistan'. They're flogged then hanged on the village green. Sam's dad is found alive and well concealed in the boot of the ringleader's foreign-looking car. Dad builds a crane that lifts Sam up so that he can hang bunting on the gallows.

― Enemy Insects (NickB), Monday, 18 May 2009 09:40 (seventeen years ago)

Yes there's a Jack Black too, he's the child detective who shops all the dole cheats.

― go and put your f'kin torn jeans on (onimo), Monday, 18 May 2009 09:41 (seventeen years ago)

ah, 10 points to me then.

― Mark G, Monday, 18 May 2009 09:42 (seventeen years ago)

For Tebbit just the idea of being a "school teacher" is enough to make them a baddie.

― ned trifle (Notinmyname), Monday, 18 May 2009 09:46 (seventeen years ago)

xposts yeah, jack black and his trusty dog silver. one of the best things in viz.

― ch4rlie fr4m3, Monday, 18 May 2009 09:47 (seventeen years ago)

they buy a new car at the end - a mondeo.

― ch4rlie fr4m3, Monday, 18 May 2009 09:52 (seventeen years ago)

"Children love action and this boy is part of a broken family which adds to his difficulties,"

Those kids who love action have it so difficult.

― ned trifle (Notinmyname), Monday, 18 May 2009 09:57 (seventeen years ago)

you want to know what i blame this on the breakdown of?

― Henry Frog (Frogman Henry), Monday, 18 May 2009 10:04 (seventeen years ago)

all the flight and fantasy of being in a wheelchair and coming from a broken home, eh.

when they solve the mystery, the whole street throws a big party, but sam doesn't attend, preferring to attend a much smaller party down the road.

― ch4rlie fr4m3, Monday, 18 May 2009 10:05 (seventeen years ago)

Notice how a child had to solve the cime because there are simply not enough bobbies on the beat.

― Enemy Insects (NickB), Monday, 18 May 2009 10:08 (seventeen years ago)

Sam exposes the cartel after overhearing them expressing support for the Columbian cricket team

― S-Ban Hour Best Hit Parade (DJ Mencap), Monday, 18 May 2009 10:17 (seventeen years ago)

The cookbook looks quite classy.
http://debbymason.co.uk/blog/wp-content/uploads/2009/03/norman_tebbi_the_game_cook-382x499.jpg

― Brandy Frotte and Reel De La St-Jean (Ned Trifle II), Tuesday, 19 May 2009 07:26 (seventeen years ago)

Well, I hope he saved some Turkey for us.

― Mark G, Tuesday, 19 May 2009 08:12 (seventeen years ago)

recipes for challops

― S-Ban Hour Best Hit Parade (DJ Mencap), Tuesday, 19 May 2009 08:55 (seventeen years ago)

nine months pass...

Norman Tebbit 'attacks child in dragon outfit celebrating Chinese New Year'

― We should have called Suzie and Bobby (NickB), Tuesday, 23 February 2010 09:02 (sixteen years ago)

One witness said: 'This old man came running towards the dragon on the street parade. He grabbed the drum and cymbal being played and then started violently kicking the dragon itself.
'Inside the costume was an adult at the front wearing a dragon mask and a child at the rear. Lord Tebbit was kicking the rear. He seemed to be upset about the noise.'

― We should have called Suzie and Bobby (NickB), Tuesday, 23 February 2010 09:03 (sixteen years ago)

Was hoping from the headline that it was Tebbit who was wearing the costume.

― grobravara hollaglob (dowd), Tuesday, 23 February 2010 09:05 (sixteen years ago)

This *has* to be on Youtube, right?

Oh yeah, and the WECGWFDavCam thread.

― Mark G, Tuesday, 23 February 2010 09:12 (sixteen years ago)

http://www.eadt.co.uk/content/eadt/news/story.aspx?brand=EADOnline&category=News&tBrand=EADOnline&tCategory=xDefault&itemid=IPED23%20Nov%202009%2018:24:06:030

― on in the b.g. while you're grouting (stevie), Tuesday, 23 February 2010 18:25 (sixteen years ago)

four years pass...

http://web.archive.org/web/20030523052202/http://www.telegraph.co.uk/htmlContent.jhtml?html=/archive/1998/11/02/nteb02.html

― نكبة (nakhchivan), Sunday, 30 November 2014 05:08 (eleven years ago)

always been a little impressed by Tebbit's relentless commitment to evil

― what it feels like for a guelph (Noodle Vague), Sunday, 30 November 2014 05:10 (eleven years ago)

Norman Tebbit 'attacks child in dragon outfit celebrating Chinese New Year'

― We should have called Suzie and Bobby (NickB), Tuesday, 23 February 2010 09:02 (4 years ago)

didnt see this at the time but it's exquisite

― نكبة (nakhchivan), Sunday, 30 November 2014 05:13 (eleven years ago)

Intervening in the row over the "outing" on BBC television of Peter Mandelson, Lord Tebbit voices his concern that gays could be in a position in Government "to do each other favours".

"do each other favours" read in my mind in the voice Chris Morris uses as the naval officer who's against gays in the military because they "muck about".

― you fuck one chud... (stevie), Sunday, 30 November 2014 07:41 (eleven years ago)

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