100 things you want to do that may land you in jail!

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What's on your plate?

― Gingerbread (Gingerbread), Monday, 31 May 2004 04:36 (twenty-two years ago)

all sorts of drugs.
various underage girls i wouldn't mind porking.
i often fantasize about destruction of property.

― Ian Johnson (orion), Monday, 31 May 2004 04:50 (twenty-two years ago)

Punching certain people in the face (I'd likely break my hand rather than their nose, but hey)
Drogas
um... thats about it I guess.

― Trayce (trayce), Monday, 31 May 2004 04:55 (twenty-two years ago)

Rob a bank. Rob a bank. Rob a bank. Rob a bank. Rob a bank. Rob a bank. Rob a bank. I also have been in jail and it SUCKS!.

― aimurchie, Monday, 31 May 2004 05:00 (twenty-two years ago)

― the surface noise made by people (electricsound), Monday, 31 May 2004 05:02 (twenty-two years ago)

1) Vandalism, lots and lots of vandalism
2) drugs, lots and lots of drugs
3) There's this kid I hate. And one of my friends has a crowbar. I'd like to break his back with it.
4) Fuck a prostitute
5) Take a piss in certain public and private places.
6) Take a dump in said places.
7)Threaten certain people by mail.

― Cacaman Flores, Monday, 31 May 2004 05:32 (twenty-two years ago)

fuck me a fish

― henry jones, jr, Monday, 31 May 2004 05:40 (twenty-two years ago)

I've been in jail three times. Each instance of this occuring was, unequivocally, the absolute worst experience of my entire 32 years on this earth. And each of these unfortunate adventures lasted no more than a few hours. Yet, I still wanted to kill myself.

Believe me, being in jail is the absolute fucking worst experience. IN LIKE TEH EVER. I honestly cannot fucking fathom how someone could serve out any kind of lengthy jail sentence. I'd rather be garrotted than suffer through that soul-crushing despair and boredom. Holy hell, what a great deterrent to MY ass ever committing any kind of crime again...

― Broheems (diamond), Monday, 31 May 2004 05:52 (twenty-two years ago)

(well, I should say, I will still illegally gamble on sports and stuff like that. but everybody gets away with that stuff. I'm talking anything that could possibly put ya in the slam)

― Broheems (diamond), Monday, 31 May 2004 05:53 (twenty-two years ago)

carry a concealed gun. fire it on any motherfucker that gives me any shit.

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Monday, 31 May 2004 05:55 (twenty-two years ago)

Also - with this adminastration- conceive and make a choice. I always keep a coat hanger handy!

― aimurchie, Monday, 31 May 2004 06:30 (twenty-two years ago)

Heh, the husband and I were just today talking about the logistics of murdering someone. Not going to DO it mind you.

Aside from that, lots and lots of driving over the speed limit. And maybe download some stuff.

― Layna Andersen (Layna Andersen), Monday, 31 May 2004 06:53 (twenty-two years ago)

In this current political climate

11) Thought crimes.

― Johnney B, Monday, 31 May 2004 07:29 (twenty-two years ago)

12)On a particularly bad Monday morning, I'm in the mood for ripping apart the entire social fabric of the UK e.g. dumping acid in the water supply, other days I'd settle for just...

13) holding up and robbing my entire office - Pulp Fiction style. Not for the money - just to piss them off with the inconvenience of replacing credit cards etc.

14) Systematic electronic/hackerdom harrassment of various former bosses e.g. pension details cancelled, placing them on the sex register.

A mental crime a day keeps the stress doctor away.

― Bob Six (bobbysix), Monday, 31 May 2004 08:23 (twenty-two years ago)

4) Fuck a prostitute

I think you might be able to get away with this one without going to jail. Check the back of your local weekly.

― Borfo, Monday, 31 May 2004 09:02 (twenty-two years ago)

take photos in the nyc subway (the mta is trying to make this illegal)

― stockholm cindy (Jody Beth Rosen), Monday, 31 May 2004 13:31 (twenty-two years ago)

Say swear words on the radio. Fling rotten tomatoes at the president. Stop by my neighbor's house when they're not in. Have 17-year-olds over for a game of quarters. Smoke weed on public transport. Grow it. Streak.

Seriously, though, I spent a night in jail a couple of years ago for laughing at a cop. He came to my house because of a noise complaint. I was blasting Frank Sinatra in the middle of the night (rude, I know - I was in my cups). The officer was acting so official and so stupidly puffed up that I couldn't stop laughing at him the madder he got at me. I had a really fun night in a jail cell with two other women. I asked one of them what she'd done and she said "I was cooking dinner". We giggled long and hard about that. The cop who arrested us got promoted a few days later - I think he had to make some kind of arrest quota.

― Maria D., Monday, 31 May 2004 14:24 (twenty-two years ago)

what was she cooking?

― stockholm cindy (Jody Beth Rosen), Monday, 31 May 2004 14:34 (twenty-two years ago)

take photos in the nyc subway (the mta is trying to make this illegal)

wtf why?!

― s1ocki (slutsky), Monday, 31 May 2004 15:18 (twenty-two years ago)

Hamburgers. She was charged with "disorderly house".

― Maria D., Monday, 31 May 2004 15:25 (twenty-two years ago)

you can go to jail for "disorderly house"? uh-oh

― s1ocki (slutsky), Monday, 31 May 2004 15:26 (twenty-two years ago)

I take subway photos

― autovac (autovac), Monday, 31 May 2004 16:19 (twenty-two years ago)

Force Bush Cheney and Rumsfeld, at gunpoint, to act like the Three Stooges in front of a video camera - for as long as it takes for them to get the routines down perfectly. This may take many weeks, as Bush will constantly forget his lines, miss his marks, gibber at the wrong cues and so on. He will, however, be the only one who can raise a laugh. Once the video is complete, I will send it to Al-Jazeera.

― Aimless (Aimless), Monday, 31 May 2004 16:20 (twenty-two years ago)

4) Fuck a prostitute

I think you might be able to get away with this one without going to jail. Check the back of your local weekly.

It's still illegal and therefore may land you in jail

on a related note:

56) have sex in a public place

― oops (Oops), Tuesday, 1 June 2004 04:18 (twenty-two years ago)

Maria totally OTM in her first paragraph.

― Ian Johnson (orion), Tuesday, 1 June 2004 04:21 (twenty-two years ago)

wtf why?!

they think bloggers are terrorists.

― stockholm cindy (Jody Beth Rosen), Tuesday, 1 June 2004 04:32 (twenty-two years ago)

nycsubway.org's commentary

― stockholm cindy (Jody Beth Rosen), Tuesday, 1 June 2004 04:36 (twenty-two years ago)

It's ok to carry a concealed weapon where I live. No permit required. It's the shooting thing that creates mischief, anyhow.

On the other hand, don't try to circumvent the law and sunbathe naked around here.

― jim wentworth (wench), Tuesday, 1 June 2004 04:39 (twenty-two years ago)

I still do the whole file-sharing thing, regulations be damned. Though that's as outlaw as I get; I wouldn't even trust myself with driving after consuming one alcoholic beverage, instead choosing to get a ride from a taxi. Ho-hum? Maybe.

― Those Beautiful Lines (Dee the Lurker), Tuesday, 1 June 2004 04:40 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh yeah, and carrying a concealed weapon is legal here, too.

― Those Beautiful Lines (Dee the Lurker), Tuesday, 1 June 2004 04:40 (twenty-two years ago)

My jail experiences were short (but longer than Broheems) and I didn't find them that bad. The food sucked, but I read a bunch of shitty novels (Dean Koontz, Stephen King, the Kay Scarpetta novels) and when I was doing a thing where you just came in every night and got out in the morning (work release) they let me bring in reading material.

I could survive just about anything (in a light jail environment, this wasn't Oz) if I had enough books.

― miloauckerman (miloauckerman), Tuesday, 1 June 2004 06:37 (twenty-two years ago)

take a messy, smelly shit in a number of places (the supreme court; the white house; the chairs of the dean of my l-school, a few ex-bosses and ex-es).

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Tuesday, 1 June 2004 06:39 (twenty-two years ago)

You say that like its legal as long as the shit don't stink, or something ;)

― Trayce (trayce), Tuesday, 1 June 2004 06:59 (twenty-two years ago)

one month passes...

JESSE GOT A WRITE UP LAST YEAR AND WHEN I ASKED HIM TO EXPLAIN IT TO ME WHAT HE TOLD ME REALLY GOT ME HEATED.HE WENT TO THE OTHER YARD TO GET HIS HAIR BRAIDED.WHEN HE WAS WALKING OUT TO GO BACK TO HIS YARD,THE GUARD PUSHED HIM UP AGAINST THE WALL AND PUT HIM IN HANDCUFFS.HE SAID JONES YOUVE BEEN OVER HERE DOING SOMETHING SEXUAL WITH THESE GUYS AND JESSE TOLD HIM NO I JUST GOT MY HAIR BRAIDED.THE COUPLE OF GUYS THAT WERE WITH JESSE SAID THAT JESSE HAD JUST GOTTEN HIS HAIR DONE.THE CO SAID IF MY OFFICER SAID IT HAPPENED THEN IT HAPPENED I DONT CARE WHAT YOUR WITNESSES SAY.AND HE LOST 30 DAYS FOR THIS.ALTHOUGH THIS WAS A WHILE AGO, I JUST FOUND OUT ABOUT IT.THIS HAPPENED AT CALEDONIA IN TILLERY.DOES ANYONE KNOW ABOUT THIS CAMP BESIDES ME AND ALSO IS IT TOO LATE TO HAVE IT LOOKED INTO OR SOMETHING.

― kris nc, Saturday, 24 July 2004 13:59 (twenty-one years ago)

Possibly not...though I think a bit more context might help us if you need some specific advice? (That said I'm not surprised shit like that happens.)

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Saturday, 24 July 2004 14:17 (twenty-one years ago)

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