999 is a joke

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Following on from the revelation that people have been calling the police to investigate violence in the Big Brother house.

Lost keys, spiders in baths, lack of buses...

Do you have any sympathy with the view expressed by one person on this BBC page:

The police are there to help people in distress. Distress for one person might be run-of the mill for someone else. It is not for the authorities to determine what does or does not constitute distress or emergency.

Avon & Somerset Police post up recordings and transcripts of the emergency calls they consider the most absurd.

Have you ever made what might be considered a frivolous call? I was once drunk and called 999 for the first time in my life to report that it looked like some blokes were nicking a car. They probably weren't and I felt a bit stupid the next morning.

― N. (nickdastoor), Thursday, 17 June 2004 13:21 (twenty-two years ago)

yeah they were a crappy band.

― hstencil (hstencil), Thursday, 17 June 2004 13:23 (twenty-two years ago)

i don't agree with the person who said that (Nick's quote). i believe in common sense. don't call the police unless you're experiencing problems with PEOPLE that aren't yourself.

― stevem (blueski), Thursday, 17 June 2004 13:27 (twenty-two years ago)

What, even if you're being attacked by a big bear?

― N. (nickdastoor), Thursday, 17 June 2004 13:28 (twenty-two years ago)

bears are people too. spiders ain't tho

― stevem (blueski), Thursday, 17 June 2004 13:29 (twenty-two years ago)

This is a preposterous distinction.

― N. (nickdastoor), Thursday, 17 June 2004 13:30 (twenty-two years ago)

Now when I ring the local station 6 weeks later they have no record that officers even attended. Tony Martin had this happen to him many many times so I can understand now how he finally cracked.
Greg, London, UK

There's a time bomb ticking away...

― Onimo (GerryNemo), Thursday, 17 June 2004 13:30 (twenty-two years ago)

this is the british 911. I feel kinda dumb for not knowing that.

I called 911 last week b/c some drunk guys were about to throwdown in the courtyard. By the time the cops got here one of them had run off. I felt kind of dumb but still. I don't like drunks playin' in my courtyard!

― Ask For Samantha (thatgirl), Thursday, 17 June 2004 13:30 (twenty-two years ago)

i worked in a 999 call centre once. the number of non-emergency calls is very high, close to a third (??) i think for some police forces. it's not just idiots or pranks either, a lot of the calls are from very young children playing with the phone and dialling the only number they know.

― pete b. (pete b.), Thursday, 17 June 2004 13:31 (twenty-two years ago)

So the number should be made less easy to remember? Interesting idea.

― N. (nickdastoor), Thursday, 17 June 2004 13:32 (twenty-two years ago)

why would kids only know 9? what idiot children are these?

― stevem (blueski), Thursday, 17 June 2004 13:33 (twenty-two years ago)

(0934) 651-8146 - the new childproof number for all your genuine emergency needs.

― N. (nickdastoor), Thursday, 17 June 2004 13:34 (twenty-two years ago)

"I recently called 999 to report that a car was broken down in the outside lane of the M40 and cars were swerving to miss it. I considered this 'an emergency' or at the least had potential to be. The operator did not agree and was quite abrupt in telling me. Next time I see something I will do like most others in this country and just go on with my business. We are developing a society where burglary, theft and danger on our roads are not serious enough for our police to bother about. Quite frankly I'm appalled."
John, England

John is right to be appalled. I think that the operator is acting most irresponsibly by not treating it as an emergency.

― MarkH (MarkH), Thursday, 17 June 2004 13:35 (twenty-two years ago)

So the number should be made less easy to remember?

My uncle (born and raised in the UK) actually has "Emergency: 999" written on a little aide memoire card on the back of his phone. He couldn't understand why I thought it was funny.

― Onimo (GerryNemo), Thursday, 17 June 2004 13:36 (twenty-two years ago)

I wouldn't think of that as an emergency honestly. cars break down on the freeway all the time. cops can't go to all of them.

― Ask For Samantha (thatgirl), Thursday, 17 June 2004 13:37 (twenty-two years ago)

Yes, that is appalling, Mark. I guess that's more likely to be a bad operator (or John expressing himself badly) than an indication of a policy failing, though.

― N. (nickdastoor), Thursday, 17 June 2004 13:37 (twenty-two years ago)

Our motorways are crazy mad places though, Sam.

― N. (nickdastoor), Thursday, 17 June 2004 13:38 (twenty-two years ago)

"For emergency services, please dial pi pi pi"

― Markelby (Mark C), Thursday, 17 June 2004 13:39 (twenty-two years ago)

everyone always driving on the wrong side etc.

― stevem (blueski), Thursday, 17 June 2004 13:40 (twenty-two years ago)

haha, ours aren't? or is it just b/c you guys don't know how to drive? ;)

xpost, haha

― Ask For Samantha (thatgirl), Thursday, 17 June 2004 13:42 (twenty-two years ago)

I haven't ever made a frivolous 999 call, but I did feel a bit stupid/guilty when I went to Casualty on Saturday because my neck hurt. It really really really did hurt a LOT though. And if NHS Direct aren't going to call back for four hours, what can you do? Actually at the time lying on the floor and never moving again seemed the most feasible option, but I needed drugs.

― Archel (Archel), Thursday, 17 June 2004 13:42 (twenty-two years ago)

highways in Thailand are like the fucking Road Warrior.

― hstencil (hstencil), Thursday, 17 June 2004 13:43 (twenty-two years ago)

due to about half the people here not having insurance our ERs (casualty) are often used as dr's offices.

― Ask For Samantha (thatgirl), Thursday, 17 June 2004 13:44 (twenty-two years ago)

I don't know, I just have images of huge open roads and 60mph speed limits when I think of American freeways. I guess I was excising all the 'World's Wildest Police Chases' shows from my mind.

Seriously though, if a car had broken down right in the middle of a busy motorway and cars are swerving to avoid it, how is that not a life-endangering emergency?

― N. (nickdastoor), Thursday, 17 June 2004 13:45 (twenty-two years ago)

"60mph speed limits?" 65 is the max in all states, though some states have higher limits, esp. out west.

― hstencil (hstencil), Thursday, 17 June 2004 13:46 (twenty-two years ago)

140bpm+

― stevem (blueski), Thursday, 17 June 2004 13:47 (twenty-two years ago)

I had a similar experience to Archel a few years back re: Casualty. In my case it was acute abdominal pain. I was in absolute agony! I sat in A&E for hours on end and nobody did anything apart from give some painkillers and take a urine sample. Eventually I got a taxi home. My GP told me later that I should have called the surgery number coz they had 24 hour cover. I'll know for next time but there'll hopefully not be a next time. Which I think is the whole point - emergencies are experiential things. You don't know what to do until you've had one.

― MarkH (MarkH), Thursday, 17 June 2004 13:47 (twenty-two years ago)

65, sorry. I also had the maybe stupid impression that they are more strictly enforced than the UK, where it is v.unusual for the fast lane traffic to be moving at anything under 80mph. I'm not trying to turn this into a 'we're more dangerous than you' contest.

― N. (nickdastoor), Thursday, 17 June 2004 13:49 (twenty-two years ago)

but we are more dangerous than you. We speed and have guns and take speed, too.

― hstencil (hstencil), Thursday, 17 June 2004 13:50 (twenty-two years ago)

We can still buy Space Dust.

― N. (nickdastoor), Thursday, 17 June 2004 13:50 (twenty-two years ago)

what does a shitty Stereolab record have to do with it?

wokka wokka.

― hstencil (hstencil), Thursday, 17 June 2004 13:52 (twenty-two years ago)

i think it's the guns thing that means they win N.

also they have those child's toys that were banned over here, the ones that look like day-glo bollocks on sproingy plastic, like yoyos that don't spin but bounce, you know the things i mean...

― CarsmileSteve (CarsmileSteve), Thursday, 17 June 2004 13:54 (twenty-two years ago)

no I don't. were they banned coz they look like bollocks?

― MarkH (MarkH), Thursday, 17 June 2004 13:56 (twenty-two years ago)

Seriously though, if a car had broken down right in the middle of a busy motorway and cars are swerving to avoid it, how is that not a life-endangering emergency?

around here we call that rush hour.

And except for right in downtown and the likes our speed limit is 70 mph

― Ask For Samantha (thatgirl), Thursday, 17 June 2004 13:56 (twenty-two years ago)

no because they were POTENTIAL DEATH TRAPS, young children could STRANGLE themselves apparently...

― CarsmileSteve (CarsmileSteve), Thursday, 17 June 2004 13:57 (twenty-two years ago)

I am suprised by the patience, on the avon & somerset police emergency line. this one started off with the caller (an old lady) saying she couldn't find her glasses and, as a result, she couldn't do her potatoes.

Caller: "I've... I've looked everywhere. The only thing I can think of is that they, they slipped off this, er, cord... that I had round my neck."

Communications operator: "Right, well I'm afraid this is a 999 line and I can't help you with your glasses."

Caller: : "I'll have to phone the, the taxi. I went in a taxi this morning at 10 o'clock..."

Communications operator: "Hmmm hmmm..."

Caller: : "...to Waitrose, I mean I have to try everywhere you see."

Communications operator: "Well, I'm sorry this is for life and death emergency line, I really can't help you with glasses."

Caller: : "...Only I didn't know what to do I was so panicky."

Communications operator: "Okay, Thank you now. Bye bye."

it went on for one minute and forty-seven seconds.

the operator should have hung up, as soon as she hear "nearsight", and the old lady should be in prison.

― RJG (RJG), Thursday, 17 June 2004 13:57 (twenty-two years ago)

i wonder how much that happens over here.

rjg, that old lady's probably senile, prison?

― Ask For Samantha (thatgirl), Thursday, 17 June 2004 14:01 (twenty-two years ago)

yes, if there is a senile prison, send her there.

― RJG (RJG), Thursday, 17 June 2004 14:05 (twenty-two years ago)

Strangeways, here we come.

― hstencil (hstencil), Thursday, 17 June 2004 14:06 (twenty-two years ago)

I hate driving on the highway in Europe, everyone's so impatient. You know it's like "you should've left earlier, buddy, GET OFF MY ASS!!" But maybe that's just the panopticon talking.

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Thursday, 17 June 2004 14:10 (twenty-two years ago)

c'mon, no one liked my joke?

― hstencil (hstencil), Thursday, 17 June 2004 14:11 (twenty-two years ago)

i hate most drivers they're idiots. if they weren't so stupid I wouldn't have to be pulling my gun out all the time.

― Ask For Samantha (thatgirl), Thursday, 17 June 2004 14:14 (twenty-two years ago)

Tracer, how is that different from driving in the US???

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 17 June 2004 14:14 (twenty-two years ago)

What, even if you're being attacked by a big bear?
-- N. (nickdastoo...), June 17th, 2004 2:28 PM. (later)

i doubt calling 999 would really help you there.

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 17 June 2004 14:19 (twenty-two years ago)

on US highways we actually have more than one lane, to accomodate different levels of psychosis

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Thursday, 17 June 2004 14:23 (twenty-two years ago)

I was finding US highways a breeze until we had to drive back up highway 1 into Miami and navigate to the airport, when it was absolutely heaving. That was definitely much more stressful than any driving I've ever done in the uk (though I did have to cope with driving a left hand drive at the same time, but I'd had two weeks practice)

― Vicky (Vicky), Thursday, 17 June 2004 14:28 (twenty-two years ago)

i've driven in nyc, la, san fran, minneapolis, detroit, atlanta, DC, boston, toronto, and every big city in texas but the worst traffic I've ever navigated was Chicago. bleh.

― Ask For Samantha (thatgirl), Thursday, 17 June 2004 14:35 (twenty-two years ago)

Driving in DC is REALLY IRRITATING.

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 17 June 2004 14:56 (twenty-two years ago)

DC is the absolute worst American city for driving, followed by Boston as a close second.

― hstencil (hstencil), Thursday, 17 June 2004 14:58 (twenty-two years ago)

is 311 in service anywhere else besides nyc? it was created because of the amount of calls to 911 about nuisance as opposed to emergency issues. i've called it once, to report a dept. of corrections bus that ran a red light and almost ran over a group of pedestrians, and one of my friends calls it almost daily in his war against the kool man ice cream truck that parks by the estate opposite his apartment.

― lauren (laurenp), Thursday, 17 June 2004 15:07 (twenty-two years ago)

311 existed in Chicago for like 2 years before NYC.

― hstencil (hstencil), Thursday, 17 June 2004 15:08 (twenty-two years ago)

I called 311 in Chicago the week after 9/11 because this stupid fucking rich asshole (whose name I forget) had a birthday party on Goose Island and set off like huge fireworks, scaring the total crap outta me.

― hstencil (hstencil), Thursday, 17 June 2004 15:09 (twenty-two years ago)

we have 311 here for information and general questions (such as 'is there recycling in my neighborhood?')

― Ask For Samantha (thatgirl), Thursday, 17 June 2004 15:10 (twenty-two years ago)

hahaha oh and I called to complain about the tejano picnic at the Catholic church across the street, too. Calling the cops on a Catholic church in Chicago was a sign that maybe it was time I should move.

― hstencil (hstencil), Thursday, 17 June 2004 15:10 (twenty-two years ago)

i like 311, i think. it's like the cuddly face of emergency services.

― lauren (laurenp), Thursday, 17 June 2004 15:12 (twenty-two years ago)

"excuse me there's a geezer in my kiosk"

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Thursday, 17 June 2004 15:22 (twenty-two years ago)

"Hello, 311? There's a guy in my apartment pointing a gun at me but I think it's all show."

― N. (nickdastoor), Thursday, 17 June 2004 22:29 (twenty-two years ago)

"i'm sorry if it wasn't wide enough for you, a lot of our english cars have steering wheels"

― g-kit (g-kit), Friday, 18 June 2004 08:54 (twenty-two years ago)

i've called 999 recently when i was at a party where some large arsenal fans crashed the party and when we kicked them out they climbed in through a window, and wouldn't leave. we were on hold for at least 30 minutes. by the time i got the guys outside, there was a patrol car that drove past (unrelated to my call, i discovered), and the guys ran away. 999 called me back about 3 hours later, very annoyed, asking why i'd hung up. sheesh.

― colette (a2lette), Friday, 18 June 2004 09:14 (twenty-two years ago)

I also worked in a 999 call centre, taking calls from all over Britain. The amount of nonsense calls was shocking - a woman once phoned asking for police because she had a hair in her soup.

― Rumpy Pumpkin (rumpypumpkin), Friday, 18 June 2004 10:46 (twenty-two years ago)

someone once called 911 in chicago because they found a puddle of guacamole on the street and they thought it was anthrax

― ken c (ken c), Friday, 18 June 2004 10:51 (twenty-two years ago)

guacamole does not look like anthrax, it looks like the jolly green giant's poo, clearly a matter of public safety/sanitation.

― Ian c=====8 (orion), Friday, 18 June 2004 10:58 (twenty-two years ago)

guacamole does not look like anthrax

ian your powers of observation never ceases to amaze me.

― ken c (ken c), Friday, 18 June 2004 11:00 (twenty-two years ago)

GIVE ME ANTHRAX OR GIVE ME DEATH.

― Ian c=====8 (orion), Friday, 18 June 2004 11:01 (twenty-two years ago)

now you've lost me

― ken c (ken c), Friday, 18 June 2004 11:03 (twenty-two years ago)

Apparently (apocryphally?) people in the UK keep ringing 911 cos they've seen too much US tv. I don't know what happens - probably a recorded message saying "don't be so silly".
It's a bit like the recent spate of British people trying to plead the 5th amendment in court.

― beanz (beanz), Friday, 18 June 2004 11:05 (twenty-two years ago)

A couple years ago in LA there was a story about how an eyewitness didn't call 911 because it was after 5pm and he thought the police department was closed.

― Elvis Telecom (Chris Barrus), Friday, 18 June 2004 21:05 (twenty-two years ago)

"guacamole does not look like anthrax, it looks like the jolly green giant's poo"

um...he's a plant, so i imagine he would exhale oxygen as a waste product instead of feces.

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Saturday, 19 June 2004 02:18 (twenty-two years ago)

you know what they say about guys with green skin

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Saturday, 19 June 2004 02:23 (twenty-two years ago)

The Jolly Green Giant is so not a plant! He's merely plant *themed*.

― Kim (Kim), Saturday, 19 June 2004 03:01 (twenty-two years ago)

you know what they say about guys with green skin

They have advanced jaundice?

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Saturday, 19 June 2004 03:31 (twenty-two years ago)

Advanced jaundice of the bozak.

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Saturday, 19 June 2004 03:43 (twenty-two years ago)

Maybe the guacamole had mayo in it.

― tokyo rosemary (rosemary), Saturday, 19 June 2004 10:18 (twenty-two years ago)

Yes, the mayo definitely raises the terror level a notch or two.

― Kim (Kim), Saturday, 19 June 2004 12:37 (twenty-two years ago)

Incidentally I'm now picturing this guac similarly to the way a plate of unappetizing food was depicted in Calvin and Hobbes comics - a rising tide of snarly goo.

― Kim (Kim), Saturday, 19 June 2004 12:39 (twenty-two years ago)

Does it growl?

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Saturday, 19 June 2004 12:45 (twenty-two years ago)

http://hem.passagen.se/rust29/images/HOBBE/AN_FOOD.GIF

― Kim (Kim), Saturday, 19 June 2004 12:50 (twenty-two years ago)

"you know what they say about guys with green skin"

http://images.somethingawful.com/inserts/articlepics/photoshop/06-18-04-turtles/IffyNewtz.jpg

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Saturday, 19 June 2004 13:14 (twenty-two years ago)

Carson to thread! Those bandanas are like - so - last year!

― badger Kitten (badger Kitten), Saturday, 19 June 2004 20:42 (twenty-two years ago)

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