101 Terrible Rooney Headlines

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1. How Roon is Now?

Jerry the Nipper (Jerrynipper), Monday, 21 June 2004 19:36 (twenty-two years ago)

2. Wayne's World

DJ Martian (djmartian), Monday, 21 June 2004 19:39 (twenty-two years ago)

3. The Killing Roon. (will come too soon?)

Jerry the Nipper (Jerrynipper), Monday, 21 June 2004 19:40 (twenty-two years ago)

England Roon Croatias hopes

Ste (Fuzzy), Monday, 21 June 2004 19:41 (twenty-two years ago)

5. Over The Roon

AdamL :') (nordicskilla), Monday, 21 June 2004 19:44 (twenty-two years ago)

6. Nothing phases - set to stun.

Jerry the Nipper (Jerrynipper), Monday, 21 June 2004 19:49 (twenty-two years ago)

7. Fly me to the Roon

chris (chris), Monday, 21 June 2004 19:51 (twenty-two years ago)

8. The Temple of Roon

Huk-El (Horace Mann), Monday, 21 June 2004 19:52 (twenty-two years ago)

9. You know, he's only a paper Roon.

Jerry the Nipper (Jerrynipper), Monday, 21 June 2004 19:59 (twenty-two years ago)

10. Your Love Will Be the Roon of Me

Huk-El (Horace Mann), Monday, 21 June 2004 20:04 (twenty-two years ago)

11. Da doo roon roon

Tag (Tag), Monday, 21 June 2004 20:05 (twenty-two years ago)

12. If loving you is Roon (I don't want to be right).

Jerry the Nipper (Jerrynipper), Monday, 21 June 2004 20:06 (twenty-two years ago)

The Wayne in Spain

(possible future headline?)

Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Monday, 21 June 2004 20:09 (twenty-two years ago)

14. I'm only happy when it Waynes.

Jerry the Nipper (Jerrynipper), Monday, 21 June 2004 20:10 (twenty-two years ago)

15. Ugly Rooners

(after a sending off)

de, Monday, 21 June 2004 20:10 (twenty-two years ago)

15. Boom! Boom! Boom! Boom! I want you in my roon.

Tag (Tag), Monday, 21 June 2004 20:11 (twenty-two years ago)

16. A message to you, Rooney

Tag (Tag), Monday, 21 June 2004 20:12 (twenty-two years ago)

18. Tie me Roon down sport

de, Monday, 21 June 2004 20:13 (twenty-two years ago)

Rooney Can't Buy Happiness

Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Monday, 21 June 2004 20:13 (twenty-two years ago)

20 The Roon's up and the stars are out, and a thousand starry eyes have caught me crying

chris (chris), Monday, 21 June 2004 20:13 (twenty-two years ago)

21 Little Red Roonster

de, Monday, 21 June 2004 20:15 (twenty-two years ago)

22. Rooney Noses In England

Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Monday, 21 June 2004 20:16 (twenty-two years ago)

22. Rooney, don't take your love to town.

Tag (Tag), Monday, 21 June 2004 20:16 (twenty-two years ago)

23. Roon on fire

de, Monday, 21 June 2004 20:18 (twenty-two years ago)

Rooney Tunes

(shot of pre-game workout)

Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Monday, 21 June 2004 20:19 (twenty-two years ago)

26. Blame it on the Wayne

Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Monday, 21 June 2004 20:20 (twenty-two years ago)

27. Pray for Wayne

Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Monday, 21 June 2004 20:20 (twenty-two years ago)

28. Wayne-der Wonderland

Billy Dods (Billy Dods), Monday, 21 June 2004 20:22 (twenty-two years ago)

29. I Love Wayne Rooney And Want to Have a Million of His Babies

(column)

Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Monday, 21 June 2004 20:23 (twenty-two years ago)

30. Join Wayne

de, Monday, 21 June 2004 20:24 (twenty-two years ago)

31: Rooney "Not all that" says Scottish woman.

N. (nickdastoor), Monday, 21 June 2004 20:25 (twenty-two years ago)

32. Blue Roon

(after being caught dogging)

de, Monday, 21 June 2004 20:26 (twenty-two years ago)

33. Shrek 2! Cruel, but sadly now common parlance.

Billy Dods (Billy Dods), Monday, 21 June 2004 20:26 (twenty-two years ago)

Chap's libido's weak and puny?
LYSOL DOUCHE and score like Rooney!

badger Kitten (badger Kitten), Monday, 21 June 2004 20:27 (twenty-two years ago)

35. Rooney wanes

de, Monday, 21 June 2004 20:29 (twenty-two years ago)

36. Abramovich informs Kenyon to bid 50 Million for Wonderkid Rooney

DJ Martian (djmartian), Monday, 21 June 2004 20:29 (twenty-two years ago)

37. Roman Roon

de, Monday, 21 June 2004 20:30 (twenty-two years ago)

38. The sharp side of the Rooney.

N. (nickdastoor), Monday, 21 June 2004 20:31 (twenty-two years ago)

Fly me to the Roon

badger Kitten (badger Kitten), Monday, 21 June 2004 20:32 (twenty-two years ago)

40. WAYNE TO GO!

N. (nickdastoor), Monday, 21 June 2004 20:33 (twenty-two years ago)

Roon with a view to the top

badger Kitten (badger Kitten), Monday, 21 June 2004 20:34 (twenty-two years ago)

Roon service

badger Kitten (badger Kitten), Monday, 21 June 2004 20:34 (twenty-two years ago)

43. TEENAGE KICKS

N. (nickdastoor), Monday, 21 June 2004 20:36 (twenty-two years ago)

44. LET'S GO ALL THE WAYNE!

N. (nickdastoor), Monday, 21 June 2004 20:36 (twenty-two years ago)

44. MY WAYNE : Rooney's mum's delight

N. (nickdastoor), Monday, 21 June 2004 20:37 (twenty-two years ago)

45. WAYNE IN MOTION

N. (nickdastoor), Monday, 21 June 2004 20:38 (twenty-two years ago)

46. WAY-HAY!

N. (nickdastoor), Monday, 21 June 2004 20:39 (twenty-two years ago)

47. The Wayne of All Flesh

Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Monday, 21 June 2004 20:39 (twenty-two years ago)

48. Wayne the Wonderkid Goal Machine

DJ Martian (djmartian), Monday, 21 June 2004 20:39 (twenty-two years ago)

49. THE QUALITY OF MERSEY IS NOT WAYNED.

Jerry the Nipper (Jerrynipper), Monday, 21 June 2004 20:41 (twenty-two years ago)

So, The Sun came up with...

ROO LUCKY BOY, WAYNE

...which is still one million times better than the Star's

WAYNE ROONEY ELBOW STORM

James Mitchell, Tuesday, 1 March 2011 11:00 (fifteen years ago)

ROO-PLE'S ELBOW

Achillean Heel (darraghmac), Tuesday, 1 March 2011 11:28 (fifteen years ago)

Don't get it

Tom D (Tom D.), Tuesday, 1 March 2011 11:29 (fifteen years ago)

it's another ru paul pun

conrad, Tuesday, 1 March 2011 11:30 (fifteen years ago)

WIGAN GET SOME ELBOW ROON

MPx4A, Tuesday, 1 March 2011 11:43 (fifteen years ago)

BUILD A ROOKET, BOYS!!!

Jlloyd, I'm ready to be heartbroken (ken c), Tuesday, 1 March 2011 17:12 (fifteen years ago)

WAYNE ROONEY ELBOW STORM

This is.... amazing.

progressive cuts (Tracer Hand), Tuesday, 1 March 2011 17:44 (fifteen years ago)

GETTING A WAYNE WITH IT

progressive cuts (Tracer Hand), Tuesday, 1 March 2011 17:47 (fifteen years ago)

ha!

F-Unit (Ste), Tuesday, 1 March 2011 19:39 (fifteen years ago)

ROO-PLE'S ELBOW

― Achillean Heel (darraghmac), Tuesday, 1 March 2011 11:28 (8 hours ago) Bookmark

More like THE CORP-ROO-ATE ELBOW amirite

Samuel (a hoy hoy), Tuesday, 1 March 2011 19:49 (fifteen years ago)

one month passes...

A bumper crop today:

ROO PLANS TEEN TREAT FOR COLLEEN - Daily Star
CLARET & ROO! - also in the Daily Star
ROO ARE THE ONE THAT I WANT - News of the World
HAT-TRICK ROONEY IS BLINDING AND EFFING - also in the News of the World
HAMMERS HIT BY THE CURSE OF ROONEY - Independent on Sunday
ROONEY TO THE RESCUE - Sunday Times
FERGIE'S BLUE HOODOO - also in the Sunday Times, feel they missed a trick here
HEROO & VILLAIN - the People
ROO'S MADE THIS MESS? - also in the People (Colleen photographed at a Kylie concert with sick on her shoes)
ROOVOLTING - the People, again
WAYNE SO DEADLY IN HAMMER HORROR - Sunday Express, AAAAA++, would read again
WAYNE OF TERROR - Sunday Mirror
SHAME ON ROO - another one in the Sunday Mirror
ROONEY'S DISGRACE - Mail on Sunday, probably about how he causes cancer or something

James Mitchell, Sunday, 3 April 2011 10:23 (fifteen years ago)

two months pass...

Hair We Go

this you irl http://i.imgur.com/v3kw8.gif (cozen), Saturday, 4 June 2011 10:36 (fifteen years ago)

the word, it's not a word is it really, "ROO" disgusts me as much as the man (it's not a man is it really) and his face.

Suggest Banter (Local Garda), Saturday, 4 June 2011 11:42 (fifteen years ago)

it's like the way celebs have their branded shortened name, like j-lo or something, and rooney's is like something mythical feral youths would shout at you before knifing you, "ROO"

Suggest Banter (Local Garda), Saturday, 4 June 2011 11:43 (fifteen years ago)

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-13654209

this you irl http://i.imgur.com/v3kw8.gif (cozen), Saturday, 4 June 2011 11:46 (fifteen years ago)

Roo(nan) OTM

StanM, Saturday, 4 June 2011 11:47 (fifteen years ago)

New Hair Takes Roo-t

Tom D has taken many months to run this thread to ground (Tom D.), Saturday, 4 June 2011 11:58 (fifteen years ago)

Let Down Your Hair, Roo-punzel

Tom D has taken many months to run this thread to ground (Tom D.), Saturday, 4 June 2011 12:00 (fifteen years ago)

Wayne's Roo-f Needs Thatching

Tom D has taken many months to run this thread to ground (Tom D.), Saturday, 4 June 2011 12:06 (fifteen years ago)

... I could go on all day

Tom D has taken many months to run this thread to ground (Tom D.), Saturday, 4 June 2011 12:07 (fifteen years ago)

congrats to the News of the World journalist who gets the easy job of having their next article be a page of badly-photoshopped speculative hair-ROOs.

Antoine Bugleboy (Merdeyeux), Saturday, 4 June 2011 12:13 (fifteen years ago)

Afroo Puffs

blueski, Saturday, 4 June 2011 12:43 (fifteen years ago)

http://yfrog.com/gznpmbtj

this you irl http://i.imgur.com/v3kw8.gif (cozen), Monday, 6 June 2011 11:34 (fifteen years ago)

On 7 May, Manchester United star Michael Owen tweeted: "How old are you in that photo? Your face looks like a 12 year olds but your hair looks like a 60 year old!".

Wayne Rooney retworted "@michael_owen yeh but yer 31 and yr knee is more crippled than the 70 yr old i shagged last week LOL"

Gary Numan, or Gary Fletcher (ken c), Monday, 6 June 2011 11:54 (fifteen years ago)

more disturbing is that Michael Owen is apparently known as "Mo"

40% chill and 100% negative (Tracer Hand), Monday, 6 June 2011 11:59 (fifteen years ago)

(Maybe other people knew this)

40% chill and 100% negative (Tracer Hand), Monday, 6 June 2011 12:04 (fifteen years ago)

I did not know this. Perhaps a reference to Maureen Tucker, drummer for unpopular 60s beat combo, the Velvet Undergrounds?

Tom D has taken many months to run this thread to ground (Tom D.), Monday, 6 June 2011 12:10 (fifteen years ago)

also TEA party activist

Gary Numan, or Gary Fletcher (ken c), Monday, 6 June 2011 12:22 (fifteen years ago)

four months pass...

The Times calls Rooney "An Idiot Abroad" and the Daily Telegraph's front page just says "Idiot". The Guardian is slightly more circumspect asking "Through at what price?" while the Daily Express says "We will Roo this moment". The Daily Mail screams "Roo Fool!" and the Sun calls the striker "Roonatic".

r|t|c, Saturday, 8 October 2011 07:48 (fourteen years ago)

ROOPAUL

nakhchivan, Wednesday, 19 October 2011 21:03 (fourteen years ago)

eight months pass...

THE WAYNE IN UKRAINE FAILS MAINLY BY EVERY AVAILABLE YARDSTICK

Alba, Sunday, 24 June 2012 21:43 (thirteen years ago)

no no, terrible Rooney headlines

Ismael Klata, Sunday, 24 June 2012 21:48 (thirteen years ago)

"ROONEY A CUNT: ALSO SHIT"

irrational angst that makes me innocuously thingy (darraghmac), Sunday, 24 June 2012 21:53 (thirteen years ago)

Isn't that the "Jimmy Carr" headline?

Mark G, Monday, 25 June 2012 08:25 (thirteen years ago)

this morning I actually saw:

"KNOW HOW ROO FEEL"

ooooiiiioooooooooooooooaaaaaaaaoooooh un - bi - leevable! (LocalGarda), Monday, 25 June 2012 08:38 (thirteen years ago)

it was on a front page too

ooooiiiioooooooooooooooaaaaaaaaoooooh un - bi - leevable! (LocalGarda), Monday, 25 June 2012 08:38 (thirteen years ago)

hair today gone yesterday

Rosie 47 (ken c), Monday, 25 June 2012 08:44 (thirteen years ago)

the shite pele - like pele, but shite, completely shite

Rosie 47 (ken c), Monday, 25 June 2012 08:44 (thirteen years ago)

Inspector Rooseau - Bungling Oaf in Search of a Clue

gonna send him to outer space, to hug another face (NickB), Monday, 25 June 2012 08:57 (thirteen years ago)

think i had coined tsp but i may be oscar wildeing there

irrational angst that makes me innocuously thingy (darraghmac), Monday, 25 June 2012 09:58 (thirteen years ago)

50 Shades of gROO

Wayne Rooney follows in Theo Walcott's footsteps by writing his own novels, except this time it isn't kids books, but granny erotica.

Smothered, Covered and Chunked!!! (a hoy hoy), Monday, 25 June 2012 12:10 (thirteen years ago)

OCH AYE THE ROO

The back page of tomorrow's Mirror. The subheading is "Fab: Wayne only knows Scottish!" which leaves me no wiser.

Alba, Tuesday, 26 June 2012 23:27 (thirteen years ago)

Rooney made a comment recently about how Capello was hard to understand at times

Number None, Tuesday, 26 June 2012 23:30 (thirteen years ago)

I have now read the amazing story.

Capello said: "After seeing the latest game [against Italy], I think Rooney only understands Scottish. That's because he only plays well in Manchester, where Sir Alex Ferguson speaks Scottish."

Alba, Tuesday, 26 June 2012 23:31 (thirteen years ago)

i figured it was a reference to his performances in an international jersey tbh

I blame the prurience (darraghmac), Tuesday, 26 June 2012 23:31 (thirteen years ago)

I didn't see either of the last two quarter finals so i can only assume Rooney performed to his usual high standard

Number None, Tuesday, 26 June 2012 23:35 (thirteen years ago)

eleven months pass...

Barca in for Rooney as Chelsea interest Waynes

anky, Tuesday, 25 June 2013 05:52 (twelve years ago)

Enjoy that one purely for the implication that either Tito or Jose would actually be remotely interested in our beloved Wazza Roon.

Third Rate Zoo Keepers With Tenth Rate Minds (Windsor Davies), Tuesday, 25 June 2013 08:59 (twelve years ago)

one year passes...

IRON ROO in today's Daily Star.

Daniel Giraffe, Tuesday, 18 November 2014 12:02 (eleven years ago)


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