RFD: Asia Argento's Scarlet Diva

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Her "vanity" flick - she wrote it, she directed it, she starred in it. Lots of clumsy, gratuitous debauchery, sure - including a bare-ass Joe Coleman running down a hotel hallway - but also a good number of striking moments (especially the armpit shaving / makeup scene!) (did I actually just type that?), & not nearly as horrible as to really need a half-minute intro from the auteur herself telling the DVD viewer to shelve the preconceived notions & just enjoy the flick. I'm looking forward to rewatching it this evening w/ the commentary track, if only to hear her call Vincent Gallo (who was supposed to play the "leading man") a shit.

― David R. (popshots75`), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 13:31 (twenty-two years ago)

i love this movie, it is so completely psychotic. the commentary track really "completes" it, it's like the punchline to a joke. best commentary i've ever heard!

"vincent gallo was supposed to be in this movie, but he betrayed me like every other friend i had betrayed me while i was making it, that is why i step on a picture of his face in this scene. i love him though."

― s1ocki (slutsky), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 13:51 (twenty-two years ago)

I'd love to know what reviewers that shitcanned this flick were really expecting when the lead singer of the would-be Uzeda / Albini-produced group ups & leaves the hotel room, gives Anna his shiny silver pants and a cut-out pic of Elvis as mementos of their "love" AND HE SAYS THE ELVIS PIC IS A PICTURE OF HIS FATHER. Gallo would've been great.

I kinda hate that I'm attempting to express my actual sincere love for this glorious shitmess of a movie, and I end up getting all ironical & campy about it.

One thing - the DVD made the film look more "filmic" than I thought a digitally-shot flick would, but the trailer (for the European release, I'm guessing - lotsa frontal!) included w/ the DVD actually LOOKED like a digital film, and I really wish I could see a version of the film that looked like that.

ALSO ALSO - the other trailers on this DVD included some kewl-looking Japanese flicks (_Versus_ and _Visitor Q_) and some godawful looking European slasher flick called _The House Of The Hill On The Top_ or something. The trailer for that thing is something to see.

― David R. (popshots75`), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 14:11 (twenty-two years ago)

vincent gallo would've been way better, but i liked how wussy "kirk" looked

― s1ocki (slutsky), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 14:12 (twenty-two years ago)

One of my best friends has schplroinked her.

― Momus (Momus), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 14:14 (twenty-two years ago)

highfives!

― s1ocki (slutsky), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 14:16 (twenty-two years ago)

Schplroinked?

― Liz :x (Liz :x), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 14:19 (twenty-two years ago)

Allegedly.

― Momus (Momus), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 14:21 (twenty-two years ago)

The only Asia Argento sex talk on this thread should involve hypothesizing whether Schooly D did any schplroinking.

― David R. (popshots75`), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 14:21 (twenty-two years ago)

Momus is, of course, above saying "one of my mates shagged her'", like some common person down the pub.

― svartlucia, Tuesday, 22 June 2004 14:33 (twenty-two years ago)

"Shplroink" is going directly into my personal top-5 onomotapeia-as-used-as-a-word words.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 14:36 (twenty-two years ago)

How do you intend pronouncing it?

― Dadaismus (Dada), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 14:37 (twenty-two years ago)

What in the hell produces a "shplroink"? I think it's more like Momus was caught between "schtupp" and "boink", and decided to merge & downsize.

― David R. (popshots75`), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 14:39 (twenty-two years ago)

If I HEARD a "shplroink" while shplroinking, I'd check to see if I lost any body parts.

― David R. (popshots75`), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 14:40 (twenty-two years ago)

I used the word 'schplroinked' after several hours of consultation with top entertainment lawyers. We decided that if anyone tries to allege that it means 'shagged' we're going to countersue for millions in damages to my friend's friend's reputation.

Svartlucia, I regret to inform you that you are therefore summonsed to appear at the Central Courthouse, Suspiria, MD, on December 5th, 2006, with your attornies.

― Momus (Momus), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 14:44 (twenty-two years ago)

It's an excellent verb. Very satisfying.

― Liz :x (Liz :x), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 14:57 (twenty-two years ago)

I met the producers of her new film and they hadn't seen Scarlet Diva. I told them they should have, because then they'd have known not to invest in her movie. They said they probably should have as well, because the new film is apparently terrible.

I think Asia Argento is kinda cute though.

― CRW (CRW), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 15:32 (twenty-two years ago)

"The Heart Is Above All Deceitful" got savaged at Cannes, didn't it?

― miloauckerman (miloauckerman), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 15:36 (twenty-two years ago)

The Heart is Deceitful Above All Things or whatever

― miloauckerman (miloauckerman), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 15:36 (twenty-two years ago)

is this based on the JT LeRoy book?

― kyle (akmonday), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 15:41 (twenty-two years ago)

― miloauckerman (miloauckerman), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 15:42 (twenty-two years ago)

It got super savaged. Two of the producers were like, "what the fuck have we done?"

To be honest, you can't blame them, it's not a producer's job to know about movies. Just to know if they invest X in Y it will equal Z. That's why so many bad films get made, sadly.

― CRW (CRW), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 15:42 (twenty-two years ago)

Asia Argento making an adaptation of a J.T. Leroy "book"! Sounds like a horrible nightmare-slash-masochistic orgy!

― Neb Reyob (Ben Boyer), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 15:44 (twenty-two years ago)

so it should be a producer's job to know movies, no?

― s1ocki (slutsky), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 16:05 (twenty-two years ago)

Yes. But it is not (from my experience). As in "Who is Scorsese then?" lame. Very depressing.

― CRW (CRW), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 16:23 (twenty-two years ago)

Shpadoinkle

― Kingfish of Burma (Kingfish), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 16:29 (twenty-two years ago)

The Heart Is Deceitful was apparently filmed in my old hometown of Knoxville, Tenn. This fact both excites and disturbs me.

― Lee G (Lee G), Wednesday, 23 June 2004 17:57 (twenty-one years ago)

Has anyone seen the Argento/Julian Sands Phantom of the Opera remake?

― Jordan (Jordan), Wednesday, 23 June 2004 18:08 (twenty-one years ago)

Yes. And it's awful.

― C-Man (C-Man), Wednesday, 23 June 2004 18:09 (twenty-one years ago)

It's hilarious! It's certainly worth the $5 I got it for.

― Jordan (Jordan), Wednesday, 23 June 2004 18:10 (twenty-one years ago)

One of my best friends has schplroinked her.

Apparently there's a vaccine for that: Eau de Ho.

Edgy Style Mag's editor leads guided tours up Asia Argento's jaxy; tales told by Nick's (and my) friend the schplroinker suggest this is not a very safe place to go. Besides, our friend's actual girlfriend is like so much more beautiful, talented and intelligent than that horrible skank.

― suzy (suzy), Thursday, 24 June 2004 06:56 (twenty-one years ago)

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