What do you get when you sign up for ILX PREMIUM?

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UNC#NS#R#D P#CS!!

― Leeefuse 73 (Leee), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 17:25 (twenty-two years ago)

The password for the Dan-and-Ned-cocks thread.

(Possibly that's what you meant.)

― Tep (ktepi), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 17:28 (twenty-two years ago)

A bag of assorted dicks mailed to your door every month.

― St. Nicholas Ridiculous (Nick A.), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 17:29 (twenty-two years ago)

Curtis singing along to "Da Funk," live and in person and following you around all day!

― Tep (ktepi), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 17:31 (twenty-two years ago)

you get enough germs to catch pneumonia. and when you do Ned will never phone yer.

― stevem (blueski), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 17:32 (twenty-two years ago)

A filter that blocks out all meta.

― St. Nicholas Ridiculous (Nick A.), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 17:33 (twenty-two years ago)

an ILX-branded eyepatch

― mookieproof (mookieproof), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 17:34 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.cyberarium.com/images/misc6199/mkglove.jpg

― Jon Williams!!!!! (ROFFLE!@!@!@) (ex machina), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 17:38 (twenty-two years ago)

the 2005 hunks of ilx calendar!

― stockholm cindy (Jody Beth Rosen), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 17:49 (twenty-two years ago)

So many blank pages...

― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 17:51 (twenty-two years ago)

no way--it would have to be a daily tear off calendar!

― mookieproof (mookieproof), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 17:52 (twenty-two years ago)

Every photo would be of dog latin, but no one would realize it.

― Tep (ktepi), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 17:53 (twenty-two years ago)

A girl kneeing you in the balls during intimate moments.

― I am not a mandible (Barima), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 18:09 (twenty-two years ago)

Monkey porn

― I am not a mandible (Barima), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 18:10 (twenty-two years ago)

Jon 'Roffle' Williams vs Mike Flowers Pops split 7" on Loop, Loop, Loop Records

― I am not a mandible (Barima), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 18:10 (twenty-two years ago)

Mixmaster Mannion's Jive Bunny Envy mashup CD series (banned on several continents)

― I am not a mandible (Barima), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 18:11 (twenty-two years ago)

Cheese In Your Shoe

― I am not a mandible (Barima), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 18:11 (twenty-two years ago)

Barima N Presents The Day Of Laughter: Joke Book (comes with a complimentary copy of his romantic disaster novel, The Cliffs Of My Emotions)

― I am not a mandible (Barima), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 18:12 (twenty-two years ago)

The complte Golf Rave outfit, customised to your specifications (funny shoes, silly socks and reflective shade nipple covers as standard)

― I am not a mandible (Barima), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 18:13 (twenty-two years ago)

Naked photos of Morrissey

― I am not a mandible (Barima), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 18:14 (twenty-two years ago)

Blockbuster movie, A Rage In Carlin

― I am not a mandible (Barima), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 18:14 (twenty-two years ago)

(Erm, how do I guarantee that I never, ever, EVER accidentally get ILX Premium?)

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 18:16 (twenty-two years ago)

Be nice to Calum.

― I am not a mandible (Barima), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 18:17 (twenty-two years ago)

a button on ilx that makes everyone else see the TURN BACK U POXY FULE message so people can't read something you regretted posting

― Jon Williams!!!!! (ROFFLE!@!@!@) (ex machina), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 18:17 (twenty-two years ago)

Every week a different ILX'er will record you a message greeting for your voice mail.

― Elvis Telecom (Chris Barrus), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 18:20 (twenty-two years ago)

Um, one of those 19XX CDR's without asking?

― Pleasant Plains (Pleasant Plains), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 18:27 (twenty-two years ago)

a bag of dicks mailed to your mouth each month.

― cozen (Cozen), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 18:31 (twenty-two years ago)

Direct email access to Chickenbear and DJ Grizz?

― Aaron W (Aaron W), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 18:38 (twenty-two years ago)

Owl Man repellent.

― Mr Noodles (Mr Noodles), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 18:43 (twenty-two years ago)

A personal pimp-out by *insert randomly chosen celebrity of your choice*

― I am not a mandible (Barima), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 18:50 (twenty-two years ago)

hstencil comes by twice a week to do your laundry (one year subscription required).

― otto midnight (otto midnight), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 18:58 (twenty-two years ago)

Year's supply of bootyflakes

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 19:00 (twenty-two years ago)

The Momus-gibberish-to-English decoder ring.

― St. Nicholas Ridiculous (Nick A.), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 19:03 (twenty-two years ago)

Therapy With Strongo ("Life sucks, but good news - you die, 100 bucks please and if you don't like it, I recommend you nail a bus to your face, ok, thanks, bye, NEXT")

― I am not a mandible (Barima), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 19:14 (twenty-two years ago)

An official "I recommend you nail a bus to your face" iron-on.

― Tep (ktepi), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 19:16 (twenty-two years ago)

A personalized werewolf chant from conner smedley.

― Leeefuse 73 (Leee), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 19:18 (twenty-two years ago)

your life back

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 19:44 (twenty-two years ago)

a jon-williams-popups-free service

― ken c (ken c), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 20:27 (twenty-two years ago)

hstencil comes by twice a week to do your laundry (one year subscription required).
-- otto midnight (otto_midnigh...), June 22nd, 2004.

naw, they can just drop it off at my house.

― hstencil (hstencil), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 20:36 (twenty-two years ago)

filering out of smartarse fancy dan ironic frippery.

― matthew james (matthew james), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 22:12 (twenty-two years ago)

Your own buckets-on-mantits outfit.

― j.lu (j.lu), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 23:54 (twenty-two years ago)

acess to the secret ILX "who's fucked/fucking who" database.

― Ian c=====8 (orion), Wednesday, 23 June 2004 00:03 (twenty-one years ago)

"secret"

― stockholm cindy (Jody Beth Rosen), Wednesday, 23 June 2004 00:06 (twenty-one years ago)

so ILX PREMIUM is just ILX chats then, huh?
haha xpost

― oops (Oops), Wednesday, 23 June 2004 00:07 (twenty-one years ago)

ILX REGULAR......$1.79
ILX UNLEADED.....$1.89
ILX PREMIUM .....$1.99
ILX DIESEL.......$1.29

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 23 June 2004 00:10 (twenty-one years ago)

if you have a penis, it gets an upgrade to 'fancy'.
gothic anus optional

― omg, Wednesday, 23 June 2004 00:13 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.blackdog.net/refrigerator/coloringbook/animals/goat.gif

― gabbneb (gabbneb), Wednesday, 23 June 2004 00:15 (twenty-one years ago)

i am signing up for ILX premium if i get that goat.

― Ian c=====8 (orion), Wednesday, 23 June 2004 00:17 (twenty-one years ago)

ilx gets your goat

― omg, Wednesday, 23 June 2004 00:18 (twenty-one years ago)

i'd rather get ILX's.

― Ian c=====8 (orion), Wednesday, 23 June 2004 00:24 (twenty-one years ago)

shake your halo down

― Jon Williams!!!!! (ROFFLE!@!@!@) (ex machina), Wednesday, 23 June 2004 01:34 (twenty-one years ago)

nude pix of jon williams

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Wednesday, 23 June 2004 02:03 (twenty-one years ago)

clothed pix of eisbar

― deanomgwtf!!!p%3Fmsgid%3D4581997 (deangulberry), Wednesday, 23 June 2004 02:05 (twenty-one years ago)

animated gifs of deanomgwtf!!!p%3Fmsgid%3D4581997

― j e r e m y (x Jeremy), Wednesday, 23 June 2004 02:14 (twenty-one years ago)

gzipped tiffs of jeremy

― Shake Your Halo Down! (ex machina), Wednesday, 23 June 2004 02:20 (twenty-one years ago)

Now now boys perv over eachother in yr own time

― ..., Wednesday, 23 June 2004 02:34 (twenty-one years ago)

A brand new clean and shiny, cool from top to bottom, better than the one you have now, approved by ILXors near and far, Like James Dean would use, approved by all boards of governors everywhere, great and fantastic, jeepers creepers, loaded with special sound effects, and not lacking in dynamics of any sort, toothpick.

― jim wentworth (wench), Wednesday, 23 June 2004 02:49 (twenty-one years ago)

You get a free, lifetime subscription to ILB, with daily updates.

― aimurchie, Wednesday, 23 June 2004 03:02 (twenty-one years ago)

http://storetn.cafepress.com/nocache/0/11716560_F_store.jpg

― mark grout (mark grout), Wednesday, 23 June 2004 07:51 (twenty-one years ago)

roundly mocked by the rest of humanity

― oops (Oops), Wednesday, 23 June 2004 07:58 (twenty-one years ago)

a birthday card from Matos' stepdad and THE AMAZING RANDY to perform at your party.

― oops (Oops), Wednesday, 23 June 2004 08:00 (twenty-one years ago)

That special kind of tea that cats like.

― Jerry the Nipper (Jerrynipper), Wednesday, 23 June 2004 08:05 (twenty-one years ago)

your hair pimped by John Cena (whoever he is)

― oops (Oops), Wednesday, 23 June 2004 08:07 (twenty-one years ago)

A sub-Sarah Lawrence education, with complimentary tutoring in Ganbanging 101, Freebase Tutorial and Oral Sex Workshop - gah-ruhn-teed*!

*Degree not gah-ruhn-teed!

― I am not a mandible (Barima), Wednesday, 23 June 2004 08:16 (twenty-one years ago)

Daily e-mails from me explaining how wrestlers died.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Wednesday, 23 June 2004 08:19 (twenty-one years ago)

No, you get all that with ILX standard. I certainly did. (xpost back one)

― mark grout (mark grout), Wednesday, 23 June 2004 08:22 (twenty-one years ago)

Marcel Duchamp reading a text by Samuel Beckett (hurry hurry hurry, special introductory offer, must end soon, I can't go on, I'll go on!!!)

― Momus (Momus), Wednesday, 23 June 2004 08:30 (twenty-one years ago)

Daily e-mails from me explaining how wrestlers died.

Finally something useful!

― Leeefuse 73 (Leee), Wednesday, 23 June 2004 20:55 (twenty-one years ago)

"Excelsior: The Book"

― I AM THE DICK (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 23 June 2004 20:59 (twenty-one years ago)

...wrapped in an ILX thong.

― Sean Carruthers (SeanC), Wednesday, 23 June 2004 21:09 (twenty-one years ago)

you get your very own love letter straight from the heart!

WHERE'S MY BOURBON!!!

― gygax! (gygax!), Wednesday, 23 June 2004 21:14 (twenty-one years ago)

Easy, Frank. Do you want me to pour the beer?

― Sean Carruthers (SeanC), Wednesday, 23 June 2004 21:16 (twenty-one years ago)

BABY WANTS TO FUUCK!!!

― gygax! (gygax!), Wednesday, 23 June 2004 21:17 (twenty-one years ago)

Here's to your fuck, Frank.

― Sean Carruthers (SeanC), Wednesday, 23 June 2004 21:17 (twenty-one years ago)

worst line/delivery ever (esp. for lynch):

"why are there people like frank? why is there so much trouble in this world?"

― gygax! (gygax!), Wednesday, 23 June 2004 21:19 (twenty-one years ago)

Easy, Frank. Do you want me to pour the beer?

NO I WANT YOU TO FUCK IT

― cutty (mcutt), Wednesday, 23 June 2004 22:00 (twenty-one years ago)

"nude pix of jon williams"

:-O

― Ade (Adrian Langston), Wednesday, 23 June 2004 22:17 (twenty-one years ago)

did you get those from alana yet?

― jw (orion), Wednesday, 23 June 2004 22:19 (twenty-one years ago)

nah, got em from marie.

― Ade (Adrian Langston), Wednesday, 23 June 2004 22:24 (twenty-one years ago)

you'll send those things to ANYONE

― Ade (Adrian Langston), Wednesday, 23 June 2004 22:24 (twenty-one years ago)

I think having the Amazing Randy perform at a party would actually be pretty damned cool. HI DERE!, though, must be partnered with "meal of hatred here:", which would be a great ice breaker when people figure out what is actually supposed to be meant by "meal of hatred here:".

What should we get for ILX Premium? Hm. Free ringtones by Momus, TM3rds, and the Mountain Goats? That's one idea.

― Many Coloured Halo (Dee the Lurker), Wednesday, 23 June 2004 22:37 (twenty-one years ago)

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