Here Comes the Judge

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JUNE 24 -- While seated on the bench, an Oklahoma judge used a male enhancement pump, shaved and oiled his nether region, and pleasured himself, state officials charged yesterday in a petition to remove the jurist. According to the below complaint filed by the Oklahoma Attorney General, Donald D. Thompson, 57, was caught in the act by a clerk, trial witnesses, and his longtime court reporter (these unsettling first-hand accounts will make you wonder what's going on under other black robes). Visitors to Thompson's Creek County courtroom reported hearing a "swooshing" sound coming from the bench, a noise the court reporter said "sounded like a blood pressure cuff being pumped up." Thompson, the complaint charges, even pumped himself up during an August 2003 murder trial. The AG's petition quotes Thompson (pictured below) as admitting that the pump was "under the bench" during the murder case (and at other times), but he denied using the item, which was supposedly a "gag gift from a friend." (9 pages)

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/graphics/art3/0624041left1.jpg

If you want to read the complaint: http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/0624041pump1.html

― luna (luna.c), Thursday, 24 June 2004 16:08 (twenty-one years ago)

he sure looks guilty in that picture.

― hstencil (hstencil), Thursday, 24 June 2004 16:12 (twenty-one years ago)

shaved and oiled his nether region

If he managed to do this while in court, he deserves a medal and a shot at Vice Presidetn. Hell, he should be an astronaut. A cowboy astronaut.

― Tep (ktepi), Thursday, 24 June 2004 16:12 (twenty-one years ago)

I have to hand it to this guy -- in the middle of a murder trial, he starts to jelk his legislative branch? That takes plums.

― Neb Reyob (Ben Boyer), Thursday, 24 June 2004 16:13 (twenty-one years ago)

I wouldn't hand it to the guy unless you're wearing globes.

― Tep (ktepi), Thursday, 24 June 2004 16:15 (twenty-one years ago)

... gloves.

Maybe.

― Tep (ktepi), Thursday, 24 June 2004 16:15 (twenty-one years ago)

Maybe it wasn't just 'is justice he felt compelled to bestow on the crims down below

― Penelope_111 (Penelope_111), Thursday, 24 June 2004 16:19 (twenty-one years ago)

I seem to remember another judge getting caught wanking recently. I blame those sexy glasses-wearing, hair-in-a-bun, power-suit-wearing lawyers. Judges are only human. I mean you can't be expected to give a fair and well-thought out judgment when your lil justice is crying out to be served.

― oops (Oops), Thursday, 24 June 2004 16:20 (twenty-one years ago)

Don't make me bang this gavel.

― luna (luna.c), Thursday, 24 June 2004 16:23 (twenty-one years ago)

haha I just got the play on words in the title. nice work.

you can bang whatever you'd like, lady.

― oops (Oops), Thursday, 24 June 2004 16:25 (twenty-one years ago)

I don't get why the court reporter didn't say anything the first time she saw his wang.

― luna (luna.c), Thursday, 24 June 2004 16:26 (twenty-one years ago)

Gives a new meaning to the term "penal code".

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Thursday, 24 June 2004 16:36 (twenty-one years ago)

All rise!

― Huk-El (Horace Mann), Thursday, 24 June 2004 16:54 (twenty-one years ago)

*BUH-BONG!*

― hstencil (hstencil), Thursday, 24 June 2004 16:55 (twenty-one years ago)

He just wanted to relate better to the hung jury, since he suffered from a painfully short recess.

― Neb Reyob (Ben Boyer), Thursday, 24 June 2004 17:03 (twenty-one years ago)

"Counsel, approach the bench!"

― hstencil (hstencil), Thursday, 24 June 2004 17:21 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.beyondbooks.com/gov91/images/00016630.jpg
"I don't get it. What's the big deal?"

― Huk-El (Horace Mann), Thursday, 24 June 2004 17:28 (twenty-one years ago)

― cutty (mcutt), Thursday, 24 June 2004 17:29 (twenty-one years ago)

The world is getting more and more like The Onion.

― earlnash, Thursday, 24 June 2004 18:06 (twenty-one years ago)

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