My fake personal ad on SingleRepublican.com

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hot4tuckercarlson's Profile

http://members.cox.net/laurae55/republican.jpg

Bio:
Dogmatic and imperious, yet tender.

About My Match:
Enjoys romantic nights heckling women at the abortion clinic. Must wear bowtie in bed and let me call him Tucker.

― Laura E (laurae55), Friday, 25 June 2004 02:48 (twenty-one years ago)

"hi
my name is david and im really interested in talking to you sometime, you sound like a cool girl with alot of energy, anyway if you interested in talking sometime my email is [deleted] i also have a few pics we could trade
david"

― Laura E (laurae55), Friday, 25 June 2004 02:49 (twenty-one years ago)

"How are you? I saw your profile on this website and wanted to say hi. Have you used this much? It doesn't seem like there are a lot of users right now.
Do you work in politics?

Take to u soon.
Jeff"

― Laura E (laurae55), Friday, 25 June 2004 02:50 (twenty-one years ago)

"Tucker Carlson has renounced the War on Terra and withdrawn his support for W.

Just thought you should know what your little punk-ass pretty boy has been up to, recently."

― Laura E (laurae55), Friday, 25 June 2004 02:50 (twenty-one years ago)

Froggie went a-courtin'...

― Huk-L, Friday, 25 June 2004 02:54 (twenty-one years ago)

"War on Terra"?!?!

― miloauckerman (miloauckerman), Friday, 25 June 2004 03:01 (twenty-one years ago)

"New Whitehouse strategy briefings mistakenly declared war on the whole planet yesterday..."

― omg, Friday, 25 June 2004 03:04 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh man these are gonna be good.

― Aaron W (Aaron W), Friday, 25 June 2004 03:05 (twenty-one years ago)

Terra was a member of the New Teen Titans during the Judas Contract storyline which ran during 1984, where it was revealed she was actually a mole working for Slade Wilson, aka, Deathstroke the Terminator. The New Teen Titans got real upset. Apparantly, Tucker Carlson has been carrying this anger over the betrayal inside for 20 years. I'm glad to hear he's finally letting it go.

xxpost

― Huk-L, Friday, 25 June 2004 03:05 (twenty-one years ago)

at singledemocrat.com:

Meet quality conservative American Singles at SingleRepublican.com

We're sorry, but SingleDemocrat is no longer in operation.

― .rob (rgeary), Friday, 25 June 2004 03:07 (twenty-one years ago)

draw yr own conclusions, folks

― .rob (rgeary), Friday, 25 June 2004 03:07 (twenty-one years ago)

All the Demos are gay or married?

― Huk-L, Friday, 25 June 2004 03:09 (twenty-one years ago)

lefties get it!

― .rob (rgeary), Friday, 25 June 2004 03:09 (twenty-one years ago)

"lets get together for some fun. dfoxx"

― Laura E (laurae55), Friday, 25 June 2004 03:10 (twenty-one years ago)

Someone please register as "Disillusioned Christian Democrat seeking strong conservative to lead me into the promised land" or something. Just to get the really creepy "daddy" figures out.

― miloauckerman (miloauckerman), Friday, 25 June 2004 03:26 (twenty-one years ago)

actually, fiscal responsibility hasn't gotten right-wing republicans wet since ronnie raygun. so i think that yer come-on is really a give-away.

:-)

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Friday, 25 June 2004 03:43 (twenty-one years ago)

I love every single fucking thing about this thread. If this was any more brilliant my heart would explode in my chest.

― David Allen (David Allen), Friday, 25 June 2004 03:44 (twenty-one years ago)

"Disillusioned Christian Democrat seeking strong conservative to lead me into the promised land"

the name will be: zellmillersbabe

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Friday, 25 June 2004 03:46 (twenty-one years ago)

I thought every single part of it was a giveaway, but apparently I was wrong!

― Laura E (laurae55), Friday, 25 June 2004 03:49 (twenty-one years ago)

goddamn, i love how one of the respondents is MACHO POSTURING BY PUTTING DOWN TUCKER CARLSON.

― andrew l. r. (allocryptic), Friday, 25 June 2004 03:58 (twenty-one years ago)

I know. Come on babe, forget that pussy neo-con and hop in my S.U.V., let's go hunting.

― David Allen (David Allen), Friday, 25 June 2004 04:01 (twenty-one years ago)

http://cif.rochester.edu/~xm/lol/republican.jpg

― People love Gravity and Ebullition! (ex machina), Friday, 25 June 2004 04:21 (twenty-one years ago)

Search for conservative midgets!

― David Allen (David Allen), Friday, 25 June 2004 04:35 (twenty-one years ago)

Let's take over this bizatch!! I'm logged in as Baaderonix.

― Baaderoni (Fabfunk), Friday, 25 June 2004 09:08 (twenty-one years ago)

Take to u soon.
Jeff"

I heart typos.

― Matt (Matt), Friday, 25 June 2004 11:09 (twenty-one years ago)

or was it???

― Matt (Matt), Friday, 25 June 2004 11:09 (twenty-one years ago)

I anticipate future posts to this thread with quiet glee.

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Friday, 25 June 2004 12:21 (twenty-one years ago)

actually, fiscal responsibility hasn't gotten right-wing republicans wet since ronnie raygun. so i think that yer come-on is really a give-away.

recession, not a flood?

― hstencil (hstencil), Friday, 25 June 2004 12:31 (twenty-one years ago)

Someone go on there and pose as Jack Ryan!

― Kerry (dymaxia), Friday, 25 June 2004 13:10 (twenty-one years ago)

Hi, I'm Nikki and I'm looking for one of the new Hipublicans I've been hearing so much about. Do you read Vice magazine? Are you a Do or a Don't? Do you inject crystal meth into your neck and call your best 2nd gen immigrant friend 'Paki'? Are you a skateboard libertarian who believes the only good government is a dead government? Do you pack fudge with the logcabin lumberhacks? Does your hair swing ever-more-asymmetrically to the right? Do you make fun of Jews and Eurotrash while being secretly Jewish-Canadian Eurotrash? Is there a Shepherd Fairey poster of Pat Buchanan hanging in the kitchen of your Williamsburg loft? Do you believe that an ambiguous and unreliable narrative voice means never having to say you're sorry? Do you like Black Dice and Devendra Banhart? Do you think that all debauchery should have corporate sponsorship? Ever done DIY surgery at a party, just to change sex or something? Do you know Dick the dealer? Did you read Machiavelli because Tupac told you to? Do you jerk off to Terry Richardson and Ryan McGinley's pixx of themselves cumming in some vaguely familiar-looking NY scenester's ear? Then you're the Hipublican for me! Send really ugly naked photos so we can publish them in the mag with scathing comments. Box 91105.

― Momus (Momus), Friday, 25 June 2004 13:30 (twenty-one years ago)

Momus, I kiss you.

― People love Gravity and Ebullition! (ex machina), Friday, 25 June 2004 13:31 (twenty-one years ago)

"It doesn't seem like there are a lot of users right now."

LOL

― Richard K (Richard K), Friday, 25 June 2004 13:53 (twenty-one years ago)

anybody see the "punk republican" i.e. Michael Graves piece that the Daily Show did this week? taking mr graves(with his mohawk buzzcut and skull facepaint_ to the local country club was a bit much, but i like how they talked to Brendan from the Lawrence Arms for a "counterpoint", who was about as equally inarticulate.

― Kingfish of Burma (Kingfish), Friday, 25 June 2004 15:23 (twenty-one years ago)

Realdeal's Bio:
I'm outgoing. Love to laugh. Love sports and politics. I'm old-fashioned and a gentleman. I live in the mountains of North Carolina and also have a summer cottage in Rhode Island. Lobster is my favorite food (especially pulled fresh out of the Narragansett Bay!) and....I have been told that I am a good cook. I'm not new to the Internet dating thing but....have not met Mrs. Right. Lots of wackos out there so....be careful! :-)

Recent message exchange-

Realdeal: Ever been to Prudence Island?

hot4tuckercarlson: No

Realdeal: Never been to Prudence? Know where the Narragansett Bay is? Come on....fess up...you're really a 350lb. gorilla of a guy getting your jollies by posing as some wacko chick. It's O.K. I'm really a 260lb chick posing as a guy. What a coincidence. Let's go out sometime.

Hmm, how to reply...

― Laura E (laurae55), Thursday, 1 July 2004 21:24 (twenty-one years ago)

Momus, you're funny. You should write for Vice.

― xexxee, Thursday, 1 July 2004 21:34 (twenty-one years ago)

wtf laura you've never been to prudence island?? WEREN'T YOU EVER A GIRL SCOUT?

― Ian c=====8 (orion), Thursday, 1 July 2004 21:40 (twenty-one years ago)

I was a BROWNIE

― Laura E (laurae55), Thursday, 1 July 2004 22:16 (twenty-one years ago)

Camping consisted largely of air mattresses on the floor at a local museum (in the Native American display).

Also, I distinctly remember getting a merit badge for doing someone's hair. I think the patch had a hairbrush and some other girly thing on it.

This is why I quit before becoming a full fledged girl scout!

― Laura E (laurae55), Thursday, 1 July 2004 22:18 (twenty-one years ago)

Get a room you two.

― Picard Maneuver (Leee), Thursday, 1 July 2004 22:21 (twenty-one years ago)

Funny, I'm actually on my way to Ian's right now!

― Laura E (laurae55), Thursday, 1 July 2004 22:25 (twenty-one years ago)

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