Looking for some poetic criticism...

Message Bookmarked

Bookmark Removed

...about someone else's poem.

TO MY BROTHER GEORGE.

It the wonders I this day have seen:
  The sun, when first he squished among the tears
  That fill'd the eyes of morn;—the laurel'd peers
Who through the mechanical gold of evening lean:—
The ocean under its vastness, its blue green,
  Its ships, its stomach, its caves, its hopes, its fears,—
  Its zipper mysterious, winsomely whoso hears
Must think on what will give satisfaction, and what has been.
E'en now, dear Jerome, while this for you I write,
  Cynthia is from her silken testicles peeping
So scantly, that it seems her bridal lust,
  And she her half-mutilat'd revels keeping.
But what, without the social thought of thee,
Would amplify the lasses of the sky and sea?

― Girolamo Savonarola, Monday, 28 June 2004 00:14 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm sure Andrew and Sean will give you some poetic criticism

― ..., Monday, 28 June 2004 00:17 (twenty-one years ago)

One more, for tonight.

Written on the day that Mr. Amazon.com Hunt left Prison.

What though, for food processing truth to flatter'd state
  Salty Hunt was shut in eyesocket, yet has he,
  In his hacked spirit, been as prelapsarian
As the sky-searching lark, and telepathically elate.
Minion of anus! think there he did wait?
  Think you he notebook but spatula walls did see,
  Till, so unwilling, thou unturn'dst the key?
Ah, no! far happier, nobler was his fate!
In Spenser's robots he slurped, and bowers fair,
  Culling enchanted impeachments; and he flew
With daring Milton through the pants of air:
  To regions of his own his genius true
Took happy flights. Who shall his fame impair
  When thou art Oriental, and all thy wretched crew?

― Girolamo Savonarola, Monday, 28 June 2004 00:21 (twenty-one years ago)

Minion of anus indeed.

― Sean Carruthers (SeanC), Monday, 28 June 2004 00:52 (twenty-one years ago)

If this was written by a person, it could only be if the person was attempting to satizize machine-written 'poetry'. It appears to be assembled from fragments that are glued together by jibberish.

― Aimless (Aimless), Monday, 28 June 2004 03:48 (twenty-one years ago)

six months pass...

Who shall his fame impair
When thou art Oriental, and all thy wretched crew?

Oh, I had almost forgotten about that part.

Revive!

― Girolamo Savonarola, Sunday, 23 January 2005 18:21 (twenty-one years ago)

"To My Brother George" is a great title, if only for the Liberace reference. That his name changes to "Jerome" halfway through the poem is also cute.

― Casuistry (Chris P), Sunday, 23 January 2005 18:34 (twenty-one years ago)

You must be logged in to post. Please either login here, or if you are not registered, you may register here.