ILX eye for a straight guy

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OK, so I'm newly single after being in a relationship for a long, long time, and I'm feeling very clueless about dating etc. I'm an early-thirties guy, average height average build, dark blond hair, basically a jeans and t-shirt kind of guy who in light of present circumstance feels in need of a radical sartorial overhaul. So this is the thread where I get tips from the women of ILX as they tell me what they personally think looks good and sexy on a man, clotheswise.

Right, I'm off for lunch, I'll be back later this afternoon.

― newly single, Tuesday, 29 June 2004 10:40 (twenty-one years ago)

why are you in need of a "radical sartorial overhaul"? if you're a "jeans and t-shirt" guy, wouldn't it be more prudent to meet someone similar rather than projecting a false image that chaffs at your actualy personality for the rest of your relationship/life?

― benito mussolinington (dubplatestyle), Tuesday, 29 June 2004 10:42 (twenty-one years ago)

or:

"fuck a bitch that tries to change me." -- tupac shakur

― benito mussolinington (dubplatestyle), Tuesday, 29 June 2004 10:43 (twenty-one years ago)

Post up a picture of yourself - full body, y-fronts only - and we'll dress it up Fridge Magnet Ken style.

― Huey (Huey), Tuesday, 29 June 2004 10:44 (twenty-one years ago)

Well I think I'm sick of slopping about in jeans and t-shirt. It looks cool when you're in your 20s, once you get into your 30s it starts looking like you're having an extended adolescence and projects the wrong image, I think. But that's the way I've dressed for the last 15 years, hence the present cluelessness.

― newly single, Tuesday, 29 June 2004 10:47 (twenty-one years ago)

Do you want to be fashionable or classic? Do you have the confidence to wear slightly wacky 'edgy' ho ho stuff and feel ace?

― Liz :x (Liz :x), Tuesday, 29 June 2004 10:51 (twenty-one years ago)

wear a nice oxford, it'll still be comfortable and look great. Bathe.

― teeny (teeny), Tuesday, 29 June 2004 10:54 (twenty-one years ago)

Salvatore Ferragamo mocs, those clean white Enyce khakis, Siamese Dream shirt, and a motherfucking knife, bitch!

― LC, Tuesday, 29 June 2004 11:04 (twenty-one years ago)

Make sure your new girl does tons of yay and looks good rollerblading. Be a fucking man for once!

― LC, Tuesday, 29 June 2004 11:08 (twenty-one years ago)

Do you like tigers? No? Well you'd better start with those walls.

― LC, Tuesday, 29 June 2004 11:11 (twenty-one years ago)

Get some Christ on your neck, Cristal in your fridge. Hats are okay but no washing mmkay.

― LC, Tuesday, 29 June 2004 11:16 (twenty-one years ago)

wear a black suit, and tie, and dye your hair peroxide blonde?

― ken c (ken c), Tuesday, 29 June 2004 11:23 (twenty-one years ago)

Suits actually work for a surprising number of ladies.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Tuesday, 29 June 2004 11:24 (twenty-one years ago)

i can't really answer this thread without knowing anything about you. what do you look like? what are you into?

― The Lady Ms Lurex (lucylurex), Tuesday, 29 June 2004 11:31 (twenty-one years ago)

xpost
Yes, I am thinking of getting myself a suit that looks fashionable rather than work-oriented. But you can only wear suits on certain occasions. Basically I think classic vs fashionable is the dilemma of the thirtysomthing man. Classic is the safe bet but it can be boring - on the other hand, fashionable can go very wrong if it gives off the vibe that you're trying to dress younger than your age. Tricky.

What am I like and what am I into? Well I translate books and other stuff for a living; like most people here I'm something of a music obsessive - ten years ago I would have been an 'indie kid' but with age I think I've lost touch with all that... I'm too young to be old and too old to be young!

― newly single, Tuesday, 29 June 2004 11:35 (twenty-one years ago)

fuck i am 30 and i have no desire to change my style just yet. i wear good sneakers good jeans and nice t-shirts. in the winter it's sweatshirts and sweaters, that's it. a good suit is nice but the occasion has to be right. my basic belief is that if you get the shoes right and wash, then you can get away with a shitload of other kinds of sloppiness, ie not shaving, noy getting haircuts and not spending tie worrying about clothes when you should be concentrating on being happy and finding someone who's right for you, not who likes your wardrobe.

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Tuesday, 29 June 2004 11:42 (twenty-one years ago)

"fuck a bitch that tries to change me." -- tupac shakur

That's quite ridiculous: everyone knows that once you are in a relationship, you're bound to change because of the other. Whether that's done conscious or unintentional is uh... whatever. Anyway: I vote for being completely naked, physically and emotionally. ;-) I'm glad I am married. *sigh*

― jesus nathalie (nathalie), Tuesday, 29 June 2004 11:46 (twenty-one years ago)

mmm. suits.

― Marianna L Cecelia, Tuesday, 29 June 2004 11:47 (twenty-one years ago)

I thought an extended adolescence was supposed to be sexy?

― Jordan (Jordan), Tuesday, 29 June 2004 11:48 (twenty-one years ago)

coughMAX HARDCOREcough

― LC, Tuesday, 29 June 2004 12:00 (twenty-one years ago)

Whatever you do, do NOT start wearing sandals. And I would advise against adopting any sort of high-maintenance, highly product-dependent hair. And make sure you smell nice--not cologne-y nice but soap-y nice.

Shave. Please.

― quincie, Tuesday, 29 June 2004 12:05 (twenty-one years ago)

maybe a thrift store suit?

― The Lady Ms Lurex (lucylurex), Tuesday, 29 June 2004 12:07 (twenty-one years ago)

Look after your skin. Wear things that fit you and look right - even if they're unexceptional you'll feel confident and look good.

― Markelby (Mark C), Tuesday, 29 June 2004 12:10 (twenty-one years ago)

and try and wear glasses, and have black hair that's slightly too long, and have slightly crazy vampire teeth and generally look chinese.

― ken c (ken c), Tuesday, 29 June 2004 12:11 (twenty-one years ago)

supplement the jeans-and-tshirt uniform w/a couple of expensive Italian suits. ease the transition, don't try to transform yrself overnight. it's like switching from beer to whiskey. find a brand/designer you're comfortable in, and stick with it for awhile.

― lovebug starski, Tuesday, 29 June 2004 12:42 (twenty-one years ago)

t-shirt and jeans interspersed with suits? what are you trying to do to this guy?

why dont you look on the web, find some people dressed in a good way, and then copy them

― charltonlido (gareth), Tuesday, 29 June 2004 12:49 (twenty-one years ago)

yeah, what was I thinking, suggesting that he try and expand his current look into something stylish and original. he'd probably be much better off cloning the way a bunch of other people look.

― lovebug starski, Tuesday, 29 June 2004 12:59 (twenty-one years ago)

jeans, t-shirt, suit jacket (preferably in pastel colour with the sleeves rolled), espadrilles and no socks.

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Tuesday, 29 June 2004 13:03 (twenty-one years ago)

kappa tracksuit jacket and bottom. baseball cap. socks rolled above tracksuit bottom.

the lads in glasgow pull regular wearing those. look out for girls wearing similar clothing. ask them politely for a cigarette and that's the signal for coitus.

― ken c (ken c), Tuesday, 29 June 2004 13:12 (twenty-one years ago)

and if they drop their curried chips, they've come.

― Penelope_111 (Penelope_111), Tuesday, 29 June 2004 13:13 (twenty-one years ago)

Whatever you do, for God's sake avoid those shirts with the loud, fussy stripes that have been appearing in stores everywhere in the wake of *Queer Eye for the Straight Guy.*

― Michael Daddino (epicharmus), Tuesday, 29 June 2004 13:18 (twenty-one years ago)

wellington boots, a mackintosh, a well-oiled marigold washing up glove and a smile.

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Tuesday, 29 June 2004 13:21 (twenty-one years ago)

I've noticed that in the wake of the Tyranny of Casual Day, a lot of store that used to specialize in suits and suits only now also make room for things like quasi-Guayabera or quasi-bowling shirts (though they're classier and better made than that suggests) and things Ben Sherman -- it looks to me like that's become the new funky work-casual option for The Average Joe, and as such might serve as a decent bridge between t-shirt-and-jeans and something more formal.

― Michael Daddino (epicharmus), Tuesday, 29 June 2004 13:29 (twenty-one years ago)

We TOTALLY need Mary here.

― Michael Daddino (epicharmus), Tuesday, 29 June 2004 13:30 (twenty-one years ago)

Is Mary the name we're giving the post-ILXed newlysingle?

― Markelby (Mark C), Tuesday, 29 June 2004 13:31 (twenty-one years ago)

Whatever you do, for God's sake avoid those shirts with the loud, fussy stripes that have been appearing in stores everywhere in the wake of *Queer Eye for the Straight Guy.*

*cries* (not that I own any. er, yet.)

― gabbneb (gabbneb), Tuesday, 29 June 2004 13:42 (twenty-one years ago)

dave is right about shoes - a good pair will carry you farther than any other wardrobe item, with the possible exception of a VERY NICE coat. spend money on those items if you can, as you'll have them for a very long time. levi's sta-prest are a nice step up from jeans. they're not too dressy or stuffy, but they look much smarter. it's hard to get into specifics without knowing what you look like, so i'm going to stop now because i'll just wind up recommending that you get tricked out like tight pants mod ken.

― lauren (laurenp), Tuesday, 29 June 2004 14:01 (twenty-one years ago)

also, don't be scared of a little bit of hair product. some of my male friends complain continually about out of control hair, yet refuse to use the tiny dab of pomade that would sort things out.

― lauren (laurenp), Tuesday, 29 June 2004 14:04 (twenty-one years ago)

life without pomade?????????????????????

― charltonlido (gareth), Tuesday, 29 June 2004 14:07 (twenty-one years ago)

i don't understand it, either.

― lauren (laurenp), Tuesday, 29 June 2004 14:09 (twenty-one years ago)

Agreed with lauren on the shoes. Don't go too uncomfortable. If you've decided that you need to change your image after a break-up, great. If it's because of something that was said during the break-up, think again.
In other words-nice wooly sweaters in the winter, don't overdo the accessories. If you see someone wearing something that works, copy it. Upgrade your shampoo.

― jocelyn (Jocelyn), Tuesday, 29 June 2004 14:12 (twenty-one years ago)

20 questions...

Why have you worn jeans and t-shirts thus far? Why do you want a
sartorial change? Is it age-appropriateness only? Because you would like to be more acceptable? To whom? Because you would like to be noticed more? To express better who you are? Or do you want to change who you are?

It helps to know more about you. What is your personality like? How are you perceived? What kind of jeans do you wear? What kind of t-shirts? What environments do you find yourself in and are you seeking clothes for just one of these or more than one? What do you mean by 'average' build and height? How athletic are you? Anything distinctive? What is your skin tone? How long is your hair? Do you wear glasses? What kind?

― gabbneb (gabbneb), Tuesday, 29 June 2004 14:20 (twenty-one years ago)

So many questions! I'm 34, I want a sartorial change for mixed reasons - partly age, partly insecurity on suddenly finding myself single, partly because jeans and tshirt has just been a default look through not thinking about it too much (close-fitting tshirts, mainly 501s). The environments I mix in - most people I know are professional types, many doing creative-type things. Skin tone is fair, hair is currently cropped and receding somewhat, reasonably athletic (I do laps 3 times a week), I wear glasses for TV/PC/movies but not otherwise (armani oval ones)...

― newly single, Tuesday, 29 June 2004 14:29 (twenty-one years ago)

tsk, must conform to ilx emo glasses mandate!

― teeny (teeny), Tuesday, 29 June 2004 14:33 (twenty-one years ago)

i got new glasses recently, but dunno if they are emo (much): are there any pic threads on the tendency?

― Enrique (Enrique), Tuesday, 29 June 2004 14:34 (twenty-one years ago)

What's this about pomade?

I was told recently that I was lucky because my hair had 'body.' Okay then.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 29 June 2004 14:36 (twenty-one years ago)

move to the northwest... no one here cares about fashion anyway.

― donut bitch (donut), Tuesday, 29 June 2004 14:39 (twenty-one years ago)

if they do, they often have major drug problems or run gossip colums.

― donut bitch (donut), Tuesday, 29 June 2004 14:40 (twenty-one years ago)

< / ok kidding >

― donut bitch (donut), Tuesday, 29 June 2004 14:40 (twenty-one years ago)

NICE TRY.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 29 June 2004 14:45 (twenty-one years ago)

i really wished i had typo'd that as "gossip golums"

― donut bitch (donut), Tuesday, 29 June 2004 14:51 (twenty-one years ago)

"The Str4nger announced it had hired a new columnist today..."

http://www.visionsfromthepalantiri.com/rotk%20gollum.jpg

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 29 June 2004 14:53 (twenty-one years ago)

"HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEH! I just got this job so I could get a... HEAD! EEEEEEEEEEEEEHHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEH!"

http://thecostumeshop.50megs.com/Masks/CryptKeeper2.jpg

― donut bitch (donut), Tuesday, 29 June 2004 14:54 (twenty-one years ago)

also important, "like how much you want to spend on this makeover?"

― phil-two (phil-two), Tuesday, 29 June 2004 14:59 (twenty-one years ago)

also important too: what's your location?

To echo db's comment, where I live a guy would look freakish dressed up in a suit.

My 2 cents: start working out (laps aren't good enough, you need to lift weights). All types of clothes look better on guys if the body underneath looks better. It'll probably help out the mental malaise too.

― chëshy f cät, Tuesday, 29 June 2004 16:36 (twenty-one years ago)

jess I kiss you for your first two posts.

― oops (Oops), Tuesday, 29 June 2004 16:40 (twenty-one years ago)

DB OTM. I have a really nice blazer that I've worn maybe twice in the five years since I moved to Portland.

― Casuistry (Chris P), Tuesday, 29 June 2004 16:45 (twenty-one years ago)

I think we can presume that the poster has at least something of a clue and therefore lives somewhere where a suit is not inappropriate even in a casual setting. I am more interested in where the poster is from originally, and how that shapes his personality.

― gabbneb (gabbneb), Tuesday, 29 June 2004 16:47 (twenty-one years ago)

i.e., is he Northeastern? New Englander? midwestern? etc.

― gabbneb (gabbneb), Tuesday, 29 June 2004 16:48 (twenty-one years ago)

i dont know how much you want to spend and how preppy you can handle looking, but jcrew and banana republic are your friends.

― todd swiss (eliti), Tuesday, 29 June 2004 16:58 (twenty-one years ago)

and now for sartorial advice from a queer guy:

a) no loud fussy shirts that's just something we say to see if people will fall for it.

b) i think what you need is a half step from dress-down t-shirt and jeans. some suggestions for casual dressed up are Kenneth Cole (colours are easily matched, fabrics are comfortable, cut is classic)

c) I wouldn't go for a big purchase until you feel comfortable with a new look. Give it a season at least and see if you like the new stuff then start investing in suits and overcoats. (Especially if you don't need to buy the expensive stuff right away)

hope this helps...

― anthony j, Tuesday, 29 June 2004 19:50 (twenty-one years ago)

yes strongo otm!!!

― jaymc (jaymc), Tuesday, 29 June 2004 20:03 (twenty-one years ago)

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