Is it ever okay to ask someone to take a lie detector test?

She's left her family and her country, Scotland, to come to America to be with me and become partners together.

I promised her that I'd 100% cover every single living expense for her the first year, so that she could get on her feet and not have to worry.

We have never, ever had a fight. We've disagreed twice, over petty issues but resolved them immediately, to both of our satisfactions.

She's been a year on her own, financially, and we share two homes: her's in the city and mine, in the country.

Although we're gay, she and I both have loads of male friends, most who don't know we're together. Both of us laugh together, afterwards, about what the "boys" are confiding to each of us, independently, about what they'd like to 'do' to us, and if they should ask us out. We just smile and say, independently, that we know that she or I are in a serious relationship.

So, now for the polygraph.

This past month, a full year after Sally has been independent, she has not come home to sleep in her apartment on three separate occasions. I have been in the country all three times. The first time, I came to our home in the city, only to find our bedroom EXACTLY the way that I had left it the day before, down to the identical placement of pillows on the bed and clothing on the floor.

When I asked Sally about this, she initially said, "Oh, I was out with girlfriends and came back late and didn't want to muss the bed up. I slept on top."

After I pointed out to her that this was a lie, and that the bed would show a human impression, she admitted that she NEVER went to bed that night, but instead sat out on the sofa until dawn, crying over her gran's heart attack, which indeed did happen. Sally stated that she didn't want me to 'worry' about her not sleeping and also worry about how hard she was taking it over her Gran.

Okay.

Now, we come to 3 weeks later and this incident happened this past weekend. Sally lost her cell phone (no land line) so I wouldn't be able to contact her this weekend, except to call her at work on either Saturday or Sunday. We were planning an extensive 2 week vacation, leaving the 25th of August, and she knew that Friday, I was in the country, arranging the last minute details, doing the shopping, and booking the hotel.

Late Friday afternoon, she called me, told me that she had plans to go and see a film, and that she'd call me Saturday.

Note: In 2.5 years of being together, there was only ONE time that she didn't call me, and that was when she was with her sisters in London. She and I talk at least 3-5 times a day, even when we are seeing each other that evening.

Friday night comes and goes. Then it's Saturday. I'm waiting for the call and it's 11:30 am. I call her work. No answer. I wait until 4:00 pm, I call her work. There is no answer.

THIS HAS NEVER EVER HAPPENED BEFORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I knew that she MUST go to work, because she had to finish 4 grants before she and I left for vacation. That was the only way that her boss would give her the time off.

At 6:00 pm, I call her roommates cell phone and ask her to "leave a note on Sally's bedroom door", asking her to call me so that I can book the hotel she wants. Roommate Patty said, "Sally's not been home. I've been here since 8:00 pm Friday, and Sally never came home."

Okay.

It's been 24 hours without any communication.