Did you know you can get married at Graceland?

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What the fuck is that shit about?

'Please join us to celebrate the weddin'

of our own Ida Mae Gridlock

Rodney 'Bubba' Calhoun

Sunday, August 22, 2004

at the Graceland's Chapel in the Woods.
(That's Elvis' house, Maureen!!)

(Reception immediately following the ceremony
in the Hounddog Room - catered by Chik-Fil-A)

― luna (luna.c), Monday, 23 August 2004 01:54 (twenty-one years ago)

whatthe... were you sent this invite Luna?! :D

― Trayce (trayce), Monday, 23 August 2004 02:01 (twenty-one years ago)

Nestled in the woods adjacent to Elvis Presley's beloved home, Graceland, this quaint Chapel in the Woods is the perfect setting for a wedding to remember.* Whether it's an intimate event with just the bride and groom, or up to 50 family and friends, Graceland's Chapel in the Woods offers all the amenities and services you'd expect from much larger venues.
For the bride's comfort and convenience, the Chapel offers a private dressing room complete with all the accommodations you'll need to prepare for the ceremony. The dressing room is just a short walk to the Chapel's main entrance, a beautiful walkway shaded by stately trees and lush landscaping.
Once inside this tastefully decorated Chapel**, your family and guests will be seated in the authentic, antique church pews. Vows are exchanged in front of a lovely stained-glass window, a replica of the stained glass transom located above Graceland Mansion's front door.***
An intimate reception area located at the back of the chapel offers a table to showcase your wedding cake against a hand-painted mural of Graceland Mansion and makes the perfect backdrop for your photos. ****
Weather permitting, the landscaped grounds surrounding the Chapel also make a lovely setting for an outdoor reception. The courtyard is the perfect place for your band or DJ. *****

Depending on operational conditions, weather and other factors, there may also be an opportunity for the wedding couple and up to six guests to have a photo made in front of Graceland Mansion. Check with the Special Events team for details on photo opportunities at the Chapel and on the mansion grounds.******

*Because most people would rather forget their wedding?

** Okay, they need to point out it's tastefully decorated, then you know Wanda Sue at the Kountry Kraft Barn was having a sale.

Wanda is now in Bermuda.

***Look honey, that window in the pitcher is jus' lahk the one over Elvis' FRONT DOOR! HOW ROMANTIC!

**** I don't even know what to say here. A MURAL? Velvet Elvis, help me.

***** 'who can only play songs written, performed or about Elvis'

****** Photo made? I know it's said commonly, but it bothers me. Made? Like what, Kodak DaVinci is gonna make a picture for me? Out of playdoh? WTF? What an heirloom, though, huh? "And this, kids, is where Daddy and I got married... in front of the house of a man who died on the toilet... Isn't it ROMANTIC???"

― luna (luna.c), Monday, 23 August 2004 02:03 (twenty-one years ago)

This is so going straight to the LOL thread mdear ;)

― Trayce (trayce), Monday, 23 August 2004 02:10 (twenty-one years ago)

In order to maintain the sanctity of the Chapel and to respect the memory of Elvis Presley, Graceland must request that all attire reflect the dignity of the wedding day. If you have any doubts about what you plan to wear, please discuss your options with your Graceland Wedding Planner. Your understanding in this matter is greatly appreciated

I have officially lost my shit. It should read "Gentlemen:
No NASCAR t-shirts, no John Deer or CAT caps, and no overalls Please
leave all tobacco cans and firearms at the door." "Ladies, no Daisy
Dukes on anyone over the age of 18, and your hair must be this tall to
enter the Chapel."

― luna (luna.c), Monday, 23 August 2004 02:14 (twenty-one years ago)

Bahaha =)

― Trayce (trayce), Monday, 23 August 2004 02:14 (twenty-one years ago)

So... how did you find this, luna?

― Jimmy Mod, Man About Towne (ModJ), Monday, 23 August 2004 02:17 (twenty-one years ago)

Wifey'd never go for it.

She's so bloody traditional!

― roger adultery (roger adultery), Monday, 23 August 2004 02:17 (twenty-one years ago)

that BITCH

― Jimmy Mod, Man About Towne (ModJ), Monday, 23 August 2004 02:18 (twenty-one years ago)

Someone mentioned Graceland to me not long ago, and I thought 'ooh, I've always sort of wanted to go to Graceland - just to see...' and so I looked it up, and there it was. A fucking wedding at the Chapel in the Woods... a girl can but dream.

― luna (luna.c), Monday, 23 August 2004 02:19 (twenty-one years ago)

Your prince will come, dear...

― Jimmy Mod, Man About Towne (ModJ), Monday, 23 August 2004 02:20 (twenty-one years ago)

I've been to graceland but I've never been married.

― RJG (RJG), Monday, 23 August 2004 02:20 (twenty-one years ago)

They'll let you get married there, but they won't let you go upstairs.

― Dan I., Monday, 23 August 2004 02:24 (twenty-one years ago)

do you, Ida Mae, take Bubba...

― CeCe Peniston (Anthony Miccio), Monday, 23 August 2004 02:28 (twenty-one years ago)

I think Elvis has been living upstairs at Graceland right under everyone's noses all these years.

― Dan I., Monday, 23 August 2004 02:30 (twenty-one years ago)

I've been married, but have never been to Greenland. Oh, graceland.

I love the way they spell weddin' in the invite.

― jim wentworth (wench), Monday, 23 August 2004 02:31 (twenty-one years ago)

so then, no bell-bottomed karate suits w/ rhinestones sewed in and gigantic belt-buckets w/ equally gigantic bling-bling diamonds?

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Monday, 23 August 2004 02:31 (twenty-one years ago)

everyone at the wedding gets a new car after the service. cuz Elvis loves ya.

― CeCe Peniston (Anthony Miccio), Monday, 23 August 2004 02:34 (twenty-one years ago)

Wifey probably wantsa get hitched in fuckin' India or some shit. And I'll probably go right along with it. That's how it goes.

― roger adultery (roger adultery), Monday, 23 August 2004 02:36 (twenty-one years ago)

It's not a real invite - I made it up.

― luna (luna.c), Monday, 23 August 2004 02:36 (twenty-one years ago)

xpost

I take it that was not an original invitation. Y'all can laugh now.

― jim wentworth (wench), Monday, 23 August 2004 02:38 (twenty-one years ago)

Gifts and Favors: To accent your Graceland Wedding Experience, we offer a beautifully designed Marriage Certificate for you and your family to treasure for years to come. It comes ready for you to fill out in your own way, and frames handsomely. It can be added for $24.95+ and $3.50 Shipping and Handling. *
Candles are a popular addition to any wedding. Many of our couples have requested a Memory Candle to burn in honor of their loved ones who are unable to be with them, and sometimes in honor of the man who made Graceland famous, Elvis Presley. Memory candles may be rented for $9.95+. **
Graceland is also extremely proud to offer a collection of Elvis' most beautiful love songs in an Exclusive CD produced especially for the Chapel in the Woods. It is available only to couples who marry or renew their vows in the Chapel as a commemorative of their special day. Sure to be treasured for years to come, the CD may be purchased for $18.95+. ***

If you would like to "toast" the occasion, we offer an elegant set of gold rimmed Champagne Flutes featuring a gold inlay of the Chapel in the Woods logo. The flutes are priced at $24.95 plus Tax for a set of two but the memories they hold will be priceless.****

********* How much you wanna bet it's made of black velvet?

********** You got me. I want to burn A CANDLE TO ELVIS ON MY WEDDING DAY.

*********** If your dj plays it, there's still a charge.

************ Right. Without the chammpagne flutes (with a golden signature of Elvis, I might add), the wedding would have been a total write off. THANK YOU, VELVET ELVIS!

― luna (luna.c), Monday, 23 August 2004 02:39 (twenty-one years ago)

I can think of worse places.

― hstencil (hstencil), Monday, 23 August 2004 02:40 (twenty-one years ago)

I never said it would be a bad place - it's just ultra schmaltzy.

― luna (luna.c), Monday, 23 August 2004 02:41 (twenty-one years ago)

catered by Chik-Fil-A

this shoulda been the tip-off that it was a joke.

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Monday, 23 August 2004 02:42 (twenty-one years ago)

yeah Memphis is Bojangles country.

― hstencil (hstencil), Monday, 23 August 2004 02:42 (twenty-one years ago)

love that chicken from Popeyes!

― hstencil (hstencil), Monday, 23 August 2004 02:44 (twenty-one years ago)

seriously I don't know.

― hstencil (hstencil), Monday, 23 August 2004 02:44 (twenty-one years ago)

Yeah I think it was prob. a more religion and ethnicity related than race related joke, don't you? Esp. since no one said anything re: race on this entire thread until you just now.

― Dan I., Monday, 23 August 2004 02:47 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.squirrelgames.com/logos/plates/elvispresley.jpg

marriage is a beautiful thing that should be treasured more than the most precious diamond. just as it is my privilege to have been blessed with the gift of song and blessed with people who find pleasure from my gift it is my privilege to share my house with those who still believe in the sancitity of marriage vows. our great country is torn asunder by a lack of tradition and love, and if two people see fit to share their love and respect for tradition at my humble estate then let it be so. my music, my home and my life have always been a celebration of love. the opportunity to be married at graceland is just one more way for me to share my love with you. may all who grace my door be blessed with love. may your marriage bring forth a family of love, faith and prosperity. i thank you.

― CeCe Peniston (Anthony Miccio), Monday, 23 August 2004 02:49 (twenty-one years ago)

man, imagine being elvis.

― RJG (RJG), Monday, 23 August 2004 02:51 (twenty-one years ago)

Y... wow.

― Jimmy Mod, Man About Towne (ModJ), Monday, 23 August 2004 02:52 (twenty-one years ago)

Man, I miss Bojangles. They do have Chick-Fil-A in Memphis, tho.

― luna (luna.c), Monday, 23 August 2004 02:53 (twenty-one years ago)

hopefully they have all three.

― hstencil (hstencil), Monday, 23 August 2004 02:58 (twenty-one years ago)

i never even HEARD of this bojangles chicken franchise. is this a southern thing?

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Monday, 23 August 2004 03:00 (twenty-one years ago)

yes?

― hstencil (hstencil), Monday, 23 August 2004 03:00 (twenty-one years ago)

then what distinguishes this fine franchise from either chik-fil-a or popeyes?

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Monday, 23 August 2004 03:01 (twenty-one years ago)

It must be a southern thing; but I wouldn't go there, I get the taste of foot in my mouth just talking about that place.

― Dan I, Monday, 23 August 2004 03:01 (twenty-one years ago)

Introduce yourself.

― hstencil (hstencil), Monday, 23 August 2004 03:05 (twenty-one years ago)

the menu looks tempting. but i like popeyes PRECISELY b/c it's kinda greasy and nasty! it's the white castle of chicken joints.

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Monday, 23 August 2004 03:09 (twenty-one years ago)

(I don't remember if I've ever had Popeye's... ?)

(I'm surprised there's a chicken chain out there called BOJANGLES. Further proof that my little universe does NOT reside in "The South".)

(I love Chik-Fil-A, though.)

(But that's all besides the point.)

(luna, I'm going to appropriate one of Ned's words here and call you a supergenius. Because you are. Bravo, applause, kudos, encore, etc.)

― Many Coloured Halo (Dee the Lurker), Monday, 23 August 2004 04:05 (twenty-one years ago)

Do I get to be an EVIL supergenius? Because that would be hardcore.

― luna (luna.c), Monday, 23 August 2004 04:09 (twenty-one years ago)

Sure, sweetie. You = evil supergenius. Would you like a dimly lit technolair somewhere up in the mountains as well? Because I think that can be arranged.

― Many Coloured Halo (Dee the Lurker), Monday, 23 August 2004 04:20 (twenty-one years ago)

Yes please, and I'll need a sidekick.

― luna (luna.c), Monday, 23 August 2004 04:21 (twenty-one years ago)

And henchmen.

― luna (luna.c), Monday, 23 August 2004 04:21 (twenty-one years ago)

Maybe a flying monkey.

But just one.

― luna (luna.c), Monday, 23 August 2004 04:22 (twenty-one years ago)

And it wouldn't break my heart if the henchmen had great asses, either.

― luna (luna.c), Monday, 23 August 2004 04:22 (twenty-one years ago)

Also, 1200 bags of peanut butter m&ms.

No brown.

― luna (luna.c), Monday, 23 August 2004 04:28 (twenty-one years ago)

Also a midget, even though midgets skeeve me out a little. And a really bitchin' lab coat.

― luna (luna.c), Monday, 23 August 2004 04:29 (twenty-one years ago)

*whips out notepad, makes checklist*

Okay, technolair's been taken care of already. (Beaut's just been on the market for a week!) Sidekick... henchmen... flying monkey (but only one)... okay, jotting down note that potential henchmen will have to be drafted from the Great List of Personal Trainers... 1,200 bags of peanut butter M&Ms... hm, will have to contact Van Halen's old rider list expediter... midget comes with technolair automatically... don't ask me why, it's just a part of the package... okay, shouldn't be too much of a problem.

― Many Coloured Halo (Dee the Lurker), Monday, 23 August 2004 04:44 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh, and can I have a pony, too? I don't want to seem greedy, so a big dildo will do.

― luna (luna.c), Monday, 23 August 2004 04:46 (twenty-one years ago)

Do you ever hit submit and yell 'NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO' a nanosecond later? Fuck.

― luna (luna.c), Monday, 23 August 2004 04:46 (twenty-one years ago)

Also a midget, even though midgets skeeve me out a little.

http://www.jollydwarf.com/

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Monday, 23 August 2004 04:47 (twenty-one years ago)

Well not jolly midgets, of course.

― luna (luna.c), Monday, 23 August 2004 04:48 (twenty-one years ago)

If you want a henchwoman with a great ass I'm all yours!

Um... well you know what I mean.

― Trayce (trayce), Monday, 23 August 2004 04:48 (twenty-one years ago)

Yay!

Boo!

― luna (luna.c), Monday, 23 August 2004 04:49 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh, and can I have a pony, too? I don't want to seem greedy, so a big dildo will do.

B-b-but I thought that was partly going to be the domain of some of those, um, "henchmen" you wanted me to get for you... ?

Do you ever hit submit and yell 'NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO' a nanosecond later? Fuck.

Not that I can recall, no. Sorry. ;)

(Trayce, you're hired for the sidekick role if you want.)

― Many Coloured Halo (Dee the Lurker), Monday, 23 August 2004 04:53 (twenty-one years ago)

I need a sidekick with a gimmick...

― luna (luna.c), Monday, 23 August 2004 04:54 (twenty-one years ago)

an elvis dildo?

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Monday, 23 August 2004 04:57 (twenty-one years ago)

"having fun on stage w/ luna"

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Monday, 23 August 2004 04:57 (twenty-one years ago)

Wow, Eisbär. I have no idea what to think about you now that I know you own an Elvis dildo. But if you're using that as a stratagem to get in with the whole "possible sidekick for luna" program... uh, luna? Pass or fail?

― Many Coloured Halo (Dee the Lurker), Monday, 23 August 2004 05:02 (twenty-one years ago)

Yeah - but young Elvis - I think the hair will be a big plus.

― luna (luna.c), Monday, 23 August 2004 05:02 (twenty-one years ago)

Noted.

― Many Coloured Halo (Dee the Lurker), Monday, 23 August 2004 05:26 (twenty-one years ago)

[I think that's probably the shortest ILX post I've ever submitted.]

― Many Coloured Halo (Dee the Lurker), Monday, 23 August 2004 05:27 (twenty-one years ago)

Does the dildo say "thankyewverrymuch" when you're uhh... finished?

― Trayce (trayce), Monday, 23 August 2004 05:40 (twenty-one years ago)

'Elvis has left the vagina'

― luna (luna.c), Monday, 23 August 2004 05:41 (twenty-one years ago)

hahahaha

― oops (Oops), Monday, 23 August 2004 05:42 (twenty-one years ago)

(I am never going to be able to listen to "Love Me Tender" again.)

― Many Coloured Halo (Dee the Lurker), Monday, 23 August 2004 05:47 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm so sorry, dee

― luna (luna.c), Monday, 23 August 2004 05:47 (twenty-one years ago)

Heh. That's MORE than okay. Really.

― Many Coloured Halo (Dee the Lurker), Monday, 23 August 2004 05:49 (twenty-one years ago)

"We now return you to your regularly scheduled thread."

― Many Coloured Halo (Dee the Lurker), Monday, 23 August 2004 05:51 (twenty-one years ago)

Hahaha *falls off chair larfing*

― Trayce (trayce), Monday, 23 August 2004 05:56 (twenty-one years ago)

this is so amazingly funny.

i especially like that you get to pay ten bucks to RENT a candle. you can't even keep it! WTF?

― colette (a2lette), Monday, 23 August 2004 13:08 (twenty-one years ago)

And do they rent the same candle over and over? I mean, if I'm gonna rent a candle, I want a new one... Somewhere, my inner trailer trash is yelling at me about this, but I'm not entirely certain it doesn't want me to get it another beer.

― luna (luna.c), Monday, 23 August 2004 17:03 (twenty-one years ago)

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