Freaky Friendster

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Date: September 27, 2004 1:27 AM
Subject: helow...
Message: helow..

gergous!!how are u??i dont beleive anymore that
you are still single.how can pretty girl like you dont
have special friend.is it true your age is 29.you look
like 23-25 years old.do you love quadrophenia
movie??i like that stuff.i watch it on year 2002.my
friend go to honeymoon to london with her girlfriend
and buy it.you know,two years i waiting to watch
that kind of movie.are you mods??sure you like
ash band.oaky,let me introduce myself,my name is
azzrul,from malaysia and still study.i really love
mods culture.one day i hope can have 1 pretty
lambretta.can you help me??just kidding.recently i
couple with girls.this is my second time couple but
1sttime do oral sex only.i really love to make girl
orgasme.sometime i make my gf 30time orgasme
one day.but now i addicted to do that,for example
suck+touch breast n suck,kiss,touch vagina.but
she still virgin coz i dont put my penis to her
vagina.but i can do it always because we cant
meet always.now,i cant see sexy girls.i always
think want to make sexy girls orgasme like i done
to my gf,but i only love my gf.any suggestion??
sory my language is not too good.k,see u nest
time.byee

― Lara (Lara), Monday, 27 September 2004 17:56 (twenty-one years ago)

Welcome to the internet.

― n/a (Nick A.), Monday, 27 September 2004 17:58 (twenty-one years ago)

I would like to make a couple of things clear:

1. This message was entirely unsolicited.
2. It is one of numerous I have been receiving recently.
3. I do not like Ash (band).

Anyone else getting strange messages they'd like to share?

― Lara (Lara), Monday, 27 September 2004 17:59 (twenty-one years ago)

What are his favorite movies?

― morris pavilion (samjeff), Monday, 27 September 2004 18:00 (twenty-one years ago)

Is that hilarity in your tone?!

― Lara (Lara), Monday, 27 September 2004 18:01 (twenty-one years ago)

i always
think want to make sexy girls orgasme
Borat's on Friendster?

― Huk-L, Monday, 27 September 2004 18:01 (twenty-one years ago)

This could not be for real? Or could it?

I thought this was most likely someone who is so bored with the whole thing they've decided to have a laugh with it. If this is the case, I think I'm being e-bullied!

― Lara (Lara), Monday, 27 September 2004 18:03 (twenty-one years ago)

I get lots written in English not unlike that - on dating sites, not so much on Friendster. Sometimes Far East or African, mostly former Soviet bloc. Few are as explicitly sexual - I can only imagine it's the British passport that's the attraction.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Monday, 27 September 2004 18:15 (twenty-one years ago)

Mate, you haven't seen my picture!

(or clocked that I don't carry a British passport!)

― Lara (Lara), Monday, 27 September 2004 18:18 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh, yeah. I believe it's real.

― Kim (Kim), Monday, 27 September 2004 18:30 (twenty-one years ago)

That's a mighty vocabulary for someone with such a shitty handle on grammar then.

― Lara (Lara), Monday, 27 September 2004 18:32 (twenty-one years ago)

There was a week where I got alot of this sort of thing from the Phillipines. It went away after awhile. 'Orgasme' is a great band name.

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Monday, 27 September 2004 18:38 (twenty-one years ago)

It's yours!

Isn't it suspicious that Daniel Perry has not turned up on this thread yet....

― Lara (Lara), Monday, 27 September 2004 18:40 (twenty-one years ago)

"my name is azzrul" WTF?!

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Monday, 27 September 2004 18:45 (twenty-one years ago)

I know!!!

― Lara (Lara), Monday, 27 September 2004 18:48 (twenty-one years ago)

but now i addicted to do that,for example
suck+touch breast n suck,kiss,touch vagina.but
she still virgin coz i dont put my penis to her
vagina.

― Dan Perry '08 (Dan Perry), Monday, 27 September 2004 18:52 (twenty-one years ago)

Well there was that time I got messages from the big scary guy who wanted to bite people.

― Kim (Kim), Monday, 27 September 2004 18:52 (twenty-one years ago)

Deny that was written by you, Perry!

― Lara (Lara), Monday, 27 September 2004 18:53 (twenty-one years ago)

I said I was sorry about that, Kim.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Monday, 27 September 2004 18:53 (twenty-one years ago)

http://images.usatoday.com/life/gallery/2001-fall-flicks/zoolander.jpg

― TOMBOT, Monday, 27 September 2004 18:54 (twenty-one years ago)

What if by "mods culture" he means TEH ILX MODERATIATORS!?!?

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Monday, 27 September 2004 18:54 (twenty-one years ago)

Kim, I was friends with a guy who all of a sudden wanted to bite me IN PUBLIC. Way scarier! Hang on, his name was Nick...

― Lara (Lara), Monday, 27 September 2004 18:54 (twenty-one years ago)

I wish I'd written this! It's genius!

are you mods??

― Dan Perry '08 (Dan Perry), Monday, 27 September 2004 18:55 (twenty-one years ago)

har har. i got this random gem in my hotmail account today:

nineteen criticism means difference medicine gray. likely legs and over
existence price wish familiar safety" given led guess resolved definitely two
disappear pair" crying you whos joy mention breakfast part. break quick me
pocket natural doing edge pray give position.

trying ALL P0PULAR S0FTWAARES FROM $20 instead sense raised

friday carriage save simple always tragedy medicine touch monday, walk wrote
goodbye thrown directly relief go sentence.
jealous liked hello serious. benefit conversation play otherwise actually ate
said" immediate arms afterwards probably rhythm" place turned author eyes chair
laid beautiful arrived whole behind"
cry pounds itself following" keep remained hearing moment listen now eleven" arm
life wanted paid sometimes easiest living cannot" face nor stayed thinking"
i seen silence develop delight fight, nobody one discipline on door others
decided"
almost respect however chocolate" little moon passing caught been reference
strong principle toward window. from lose letters creature final circumstances
force,

― Kim (Kim), Monday, 27 September 2004 18:55 (twenty-one years ago)

That is actually pretty for serious inspiring and amazing.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Monday, 27 September 2004 18:57 (twenty-one years ago)

And completely batshit insane.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Monday, 27 September 2004 18:57 (twenty-one years ago)

Date: September 26, 2004 2:47 PM
Subject: SLEEPING CHILD...................
Message:

Wanna know you more..............
How can i add you right now.......i didn't see
any of your messenger on the mail send to
me........Or can you me on.......yahoo
messenger........*********......so we can
know each other more better babyyy...

The reason you didn't see my pictures on
my ......profile want to keep it for
someone........spaciel????????....If wanna
View my pictuers send me your email
address.....

I played profetional football soccer in
GERMANY.......befor but right away in
MALAYSIA now......If you be online
chatting....can send Text message.
(+*****************).....On my
mobile Or ring me up......So gonna know
each other more better babyy......

Love eternally,

GEORGE

― Lara (Lara), Monday, 27 September 2004 18:58 (twenty-one years ago)

Kim, who is mailing Underworld lyrics to you?

― Dan Perry '08 (Dan Perry), Monday, 27 September 2004 18:59 (twenty-one years ago)

"spaciel" is possibly the best typo ever.

― Dan Perry '08 (Dan Perry), Monday, 27 September 2004 19:00 (twenty-one years ago)

That one made me feel way more sicky that the previous.

― Lara (Lara), Monday, 27 September 2004 19:01 (twenty-one years ago)

Digital Orgasme

― adam. (nordicskilla), Monday, 27 September 2004 19:04 (twenty-one years ago)

Yeah, that one is much more frightning. Legibility breeds terror (but at least he's in Malaysia.

― Dan Perry '08 (Dan Perry), Monday, 27 September 2004 19:05 (twenty-one years ago)

I wonder why you would apprioach someone like that? And what your agenda might be? I mean it's not truly scary or intimidating because it's not 'real' but it is very odd.

Btw, if anyone out there is lonely tonight I'm happy to email this Malaysian chap's mobile number...

― Lara (Lara), Monday, 27 September 2004 19:07 (twenty-one years ago)

this is an odd message, just to prepare you...
i'm a local photographer and i found that your
pictures on friendster.com were really good, and i would love
to have someone like you sit for me sometime for some
various projects. many are fleeting and not concrete, so there
is ample room for your own input, and i love to have my
subjects add some advice or suggestions to their pictures. of
course, you can keep your clothes on, and these are nothing
strange, creepy or wacko. they are fine art images, but you
will never be asked to lay over the hood of a camaro in a
bikini. and, please only respond if you ARE interested. if this
isn't your thing, just forget about it and you won't hear from
me
again. if it sounds ok, check my web site and see if the sorts
of things i shoot look interesting to you. www.dlp-photo.com
(just a warning: you gotta use netscape or a mac.) and
because i know what friendster.com is usually used for, this is
really a professional proposal. i'm not trying to cheat and hit
on you; this is what it is: photography.
and that's about it. you can email me from here, or by clicking
the email link in the web site. thanks for your time and have a
great weekend!

andy c.

― Towelette Pettatucci (Homosexual II), Monday, 27 September 2004 19:08 (twenty-one years ago)

I like how I have the option if keeping my clothes on.

― Towelette Pettatucci (Homosexual II), Monday, 27 September 2004 19:09 (twenty-one years ago)

you will never be asked to lay over the hood of a camaro in a
bikini.

That's my attention gone.

― Lara (Lara), Monday, 27 September 2004 19:09 (twenty-one years ago)

Did he offer you cherry wine, M?

― Dan Perry '08 (Dan Perry), Monday, 27 September 2004 19:10 (twenty-one years ago)

"This is what it is:photgraphy"!

You should definitely consider this, Mandee.

― adam. (nordicskilla), Monday, 27 September 2004 19:10 (twenty-one years ago)

Nah nah nah nah nah nah -naaaah naaaaaaaaah.

― Lara (Lara), Monday, 27 September 2004 19:11 (twenty-one years ago)

You should go along with ten friends and insist that he photgraph you all in bikinis on car bonnets. (You are v photogenic btw)

― Lara (Lara), Monday, 27 September 2004 19:12 (twenty-one years ago)

this is andy c's friendster photo

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v209/Mandalion/swimmer.bmp

― Towelette Pettatucci (Homosexual II), Monday, 27 September 2004 19:14 (twenty-one years ago)

Wow, great clarity of composition.

― Lara (Lara), Monday, 27 September 2004 19:15 (twenty-one years ago)

Hopefully I might be able to pose for Swimmer 2: The Reckoning.

― Towelette Pettatucci (Homosexual II), Monday, 27 September 2004 19:18 (twenty-one years ago)

You should ask him how his brother's emceeing career is going now that The Shamen are gone.

― Dan Perry '08 (Dan Perry), Monday, 27 September 2004 19:19 (twenty-one years ago)

We have to hook one of these guys up with Ken's text perv.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Monday, 27 September 2004 19:40 (twenty-one years ago)

dominic told me, the other day, that he'd messaged you, recently, lara.

― RJG (RJG), Monday, 27 September 2004 19:49 (twenty-one years ago)

Mate, you haven't seen my picture!
(or clocked that I don't carry a British passport!)

Sorry Lara - I just meant the ones I get. I've not seen what picture you have put up, but you're a beautiful woman and will attract genuine attention. Since I'm not gorgeous, and get more offers from people in countries where they might have some interest in such things than local messages, I think the passport probably accounts for it in my case.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Monday, 27 September 2004 19:53 (twenty-one years ago)

Martin, I was joking! Gosh, you're very effusive sometimes.

Anyhow, the message from Dominic was normal and interesting and quite loopy. Nothing strange in that one and as he's a friend of RJG, he must never be ignored or feared in the traditional sense. Is he a friend of yours from college? I will meet him when I VISIT.

― Lara (Lara), Tuesday, 28 September 2004 09:44 (twenty-one years ago)

so when is lara sending us the usernames of those random message authors?

― ken c (ken c), Tuesday, 28 September 2004 10:38 (twenty-one years ago)

so we can read their profiles?

― ken c (ken c), Tuesday, 28 September 2004 10:38 (twenty-one years ago)

p.s. i wish people would be attracted to me for my passport

― ken c (ken c), Tuesday, 28 September 2004 10:40 (twenty-one years ago)

Message one: 359719600 (profile only visible to close friends - *shudder* - and name has change to 'Mr Albarn' over night).

― Lara (Lara), Tuesday, 28 September 2004 10:41 (twenty-one years ago)

"Oooh, baby, your passoprt is really turning me on!"

― Lara (Lara), Tuesday, 28 September 2004 10:41 (twenty-one years ago)

omg now i'm getting some disturbing mental image involving a passport

― ken c (ken c), Tuesday, 28 September 2004 10:42 (twenty-one years ago)

Message 2: 12522207 (nothing interesting there).

― Lara (Lara), Tuesday, 28 September 2004 10:43 (twenty-one years ago)

Arse! Message one from 8011620.

― Lara (Lara), Tuesday, 28 September 2004 10:45 (twenty-one years ago)

MODERATOR - please delete "Message one: 359719600 " above. Ta, sorry for being cone-head.

― Lara (Lara), Tuesday, 28 September 2004 10:46 (twenty-one years ago)

haha "50 cent is my man"

― ken c (ken c), Tuesday, 28 September 2004 10:48 (twenty-one years ago)

I got this email from somebody in sierra leone last week.

― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Tuesday, 28 September 2004 10:51 (twenty-one years ago)

The exact same one?

― Lara (Lara), Tuesday, 28 September 2004 10:56 (twenty-one years ago)

about 50 cent?

― ken c (ken c), Tuesday, 28 September 2004 10:56 (twenty-one years ago)

I got another from a Nigerian woman today, as it happens.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Tuesday, 28 September 2004 14:43 (twenty-one years ago)

Lara I looked at your profile and you said "do me a favor, seduce me"! Are you not seduced?

― kyle (akmonday), Tuesday, 28 September 2004 14:51 (twenty-one years ago)

My friend got this message:

http://www.friendster.com/user.php?uid=12433377

Hi Krista, how are you doing? I just found your
profile and would like to get in touch with you.
You seem a lot of fun. And by the way, nice
pictures horizontal picture
My name's Azeddine, 25 from Morocco. I am a
graduate student at the Simon School of
Business and a Fulbright scholar.
I am easygoing, honest and smart and can be
funny when in good mood, which is usually the
case.
I like soccer, movies, poetry and traveling. And
also I love sex! isn't that weird?! And by the
way, I'm sure to find all your bellybuttons, just
give me the chance. I need the money badly
I hope to talk to you soon, and may be we
can...meet and become friends.
Take care.
Azeddine

and my other friend:

Hi Caitlin, how are you doing? I just found your
profile and would like to get in touch with you.
You seem a lot of fun. And by the way nice
pictures
My name's Azeddine, 25 from Morocco. I am a
graduate student at the Simon School of
Business and a Fulbright scholar.
I am easygoing, honest and ambitious. I can
be funny when in good mood. I like soccer,
movies, poetry and traveling. I hope to talk to
you soon, and may we can...meet and become
friends.
Take care.
Azeddine

― Fuck You, Yamantaka Eye (ex machina), Tuesday, 28 September 2004 14:56 (twenty-one years ago)

I bet his interests are: Microsoft flight simulator, the koran

― Fuck You, Yamantaka Eye (ex machina), Tuesday, 28 September 2004 14:57 (twenty-one years ago)

And by the
way, I'm sure to find all your bellybuttons, just
give me the chance.

Worst. Pickup line. Ever.

― kyle (akmonday), Tuesday, 28 September 2004 15:00 (twenty-one years ago)

how many bellybuttons does your friend have?

― ken c (ken c), Tuesday, 28 September 2004 15:01 (twenty-one years ago)

I am going to use the line "We can know each other more better babyyy" on every girl I meet, for the rest of time. I will table my results in years to come.

― Ally C (Ally C), Tuesday, 28 September 2004 15:02 (twenty-one years ago)

I like the inclusion of the bellybutton 'line'. BTW, how is he going to get money from her bellybutton(s)?

― Craig Gilchrist, Tuesday, 28 September 2004 15:05 (twenty-one years ago)

I am going to use the line "We can know each other more better babyyy" on every girl I meet, for the rest of time. I will table my results in years to come.

What about "I put my penis to your vagina"?

― Dan Perry '08 (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 28 September 2004 15:06 (twenty-one years ago)

sell the fluff on ebay?

― ken c (ken c), Tuesday, 28 September 2004 15:06 (twenty-one years ago)

xpost

― ken c (ken c), Tuesday, 28 September 2004 15:06 (twenty-one years ago)

If you had a vagina, Dan, I would try it.

― Ally C (Ally C), Tuesday, 28 September 2004 15:09 (twenty-one years ago)

Also, if I had a penis.

― Ally C (Ally C), Tuesday, 28 September 2004 15:09 (twenty-one years ago)

If I had a vagina, I would never leave the house!

― Dan Perry '08 (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 28 September 2004 15:09 (twenty-one years ago)

If you had a vagina, I would never leave your house.

― Ally C (Ally C), Tuesday, 28 September 2004 15:11 (twenty-one years ago)

Lara I looked at your profile and you said "do me a favor, seduce me"! Are you not seduced?

Um, no, not very. That is an illusion to Up the Junction, in any case.

― Lara (Lara), Tuesday, 28 September 2004 17:15 (twenty-one years ago)

'allusion'

― Lara (Lara), Tuesday, 28 September 2004 17:16 (twenty-one years ago)

If Lara seems seduced, it is merely an allusion.

― Ally C (Ally C), Tuesday, 28 September 2004 17:43 (twenty-one years ago)

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