Melvin will not stop calling me

Message Bookmarked

Bookmark Removed

I got home today to three identical voicemails featuring an audibly OLD man being confused and going "uh" and "ummmmm" before hanging up. These three voicemails were all left in the space of five minutes.

Half an hour after erasing these, the phone rings and I pick up.
A wheezing, asthmatic man asks "Who is this?'.
I say "Who is THIS?".
"Melvin".
:What can I do for you, Melvin?"
"Is Denise there?"
"You have the wrong number, Melvin".
"Ummm...."
"Okay?"
"Okay".

I hang up and only 30 seconds later, the phone rings AGAIN.
"Melvin, you have the WRONG number".
"...Ummmmmm. Okay".

And then straight after, it rings AGAIN.
"Melvin, there is no Denise here. Goodbye Melvin".

The phone has rang three times since and I am certain I have a nice collection of confused and wheezing voicemails. Why can't Melvin get a fucking CLUE?

― The Bitter Tears Of Little Lord Travolta (nordicskilla), Thursday, 30 September 2004 23:56 (twenty-one years ago)

And you're going to digitize and share these mp3s when?

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 30 September 2004 23:59 (twenty-one years ago)

Hahaha! Seriously, If I knew how to do that, I would.

― The Bitter Tears Of Little Lord Travolta (nordicskilla), Friday, 1 October 2004 00:00 (twenty-one years ago)

A beautiful dream!

Melvin is your new friend.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 1 October 2004 00:01 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.terra.es/personal/mmb00002/clipart/otros/hansmoleman.gif

"It's Moleman, not Melvin!"

― Trayce (trayce), Friday, 1 October 2004 00:55 (twenty-one years ago)

Awww...I hate to be a killjoy, but maybe the guy has Alzheimer's. There used to be a nice old man who lived upstairs from us when we were kids. Well, years later, he used to call our house out of the blue and talk to us as if we were still five years old. It was really sad, his wife died, he was lonely and I think his mind was going on him.

― k3rry (dymaxia), Friday, 1 October 2004 01:00 (twenty-one years ago)

Proof of John Kerry's ability -- he has the time to type this out while on the podium debating Bush.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 1 October 2004 01:01 (twenty-one years ago)

He also has time to watch two baseball games and futz with his itunes!

― k3rry (dymaxia), Friday, 1 October 2004 01:07 (twenty-one years ago)

GAWDAMN

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 1 October 2004 01:08 (twenty-one years ago)

Dude, you got MELVINED

― B.A.R.M.S. (Barima), Friday, 1 October 2004 04:47 (twenty-one years ago)

"Hey there little muscley Nordicskillz, you like popsicles?"

― jocelyn (Jocelyn), Friday, 1 October 2004 15:43 (twenty-one years ago)

quoth the great pekar:
"average is stupid"

― Loose Translation: Sexy Dancer (sexyDancer), Friday, 1 October 2004 15:48 (twenty-one years ago)

"Hey there little muscley Nordicskillz, you like popsicles?"

wtf??

― The Bitter Tears Of Little Lord Travolta (nordicskilla), Friday, 1 October 2004 16:24 (twenty-one years ago)

www...I hate to be a killjoy, but maybe the guy has Alzheimer's.

I like the implication that if he has a recognised medical condition such as Alzheimer's, joy might be killed, whereas if he is just an undiagnosed confused old man, joy may flourish!

― Alba (Alba), Friday, 1 October 2004 16:28 (twenty-one years ago)

"Hey there little muscley Nordicskillz, you like popsicles?"

Family Guy!

― that girl you used to know (luna.c), Friday, 1 October 2004 16:29 (twenty-one years ago)

Alba, wtf?

― k3rry (dymaxia), Friday, 1 October 2004 17:04 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm just no good with old people, i admit it.

― The Bitter Tears Of Little Lord Travolta (nordicskilla), Friday, 1 October 2004 17:07 (twenty-one years ago)

This would all be so much more entertaining if you stopped struggling with the 'truth' and just admitted you were Denise.

― Michael White (Hereward), Friday, 1 October 2004 17:12 (twenty-one years ago)

This has happened to me once or twice, as I once had a telephone number in Baltimore that had formerly been a heroin dealer's. 33 calls in 45 minutes, the last 20 or so of which were just me and the junkie screaming "fuck you!" at each other before I figured I ought to call the phone company.

― Colin Meeder (Mert), Friday, 1 October 2004 17:20 (twenty-one years ago)

Adam will appear on some prank call CD in the future, but he just doesn't know it.

― 292929292929292929, Friday, 1 October 2004 17:38 (twenty-one years ago)

You must be logged in to post. Please either login here, or if you are not registered, you may register here.