Your (Non-ILX) Dreams

i read that as "protocol beach" and was all "pitch idea for a baywatch reboot?"

going to repost from john tesh thread because i think it's worth it:

I'm not sure where else to put this, so I will put it here.

I had a super weird dream last night that I was related by marriage to John Tesh, and he had suffered a brutal rape (which I did not see) on an airplane and the whole world was after the guy who did it. It was like this huge international media thing, and John Tesh was sort of enjoying the publicity, but lamenting the fact that he had to be brutally raped in order to have this sort of attention. He was like "what about my music? What about 7th Heaven? Was that worth nothing to these people? I had to be attacked by that animal in order to be recognized?"

That's all I remember. He knew who had done it, and he knew that once that guy was found, he (John Tesh) wouldn't get as much attention, so he just told me. It was a guy named Gary Pflower.

― Ralpharina (La Lechera), Saturday, March 26, 2011 12:45 PM (2 days ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

so did john tesh spell that name out to you

― goole, Saturday, March 26, 2011 1:39 PM (2 days ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

yes. yes he did.

― Ralpharina (La Lechera), Saturday, March 26, 2011 1:45 PM (2 days ago) Bookmark

u so crazy <3 <3 <3

how else would i have known how to spell Pflower?! it's not intuitive.

i have met a woman who claimed her name was Pcarolyn -- "but the P is silent"

i am v. serious

hahahahaha omg
that is funnier than any dream
even funnier because every person i know named (p)carolyn is kinda nuts (in a good way, but nuts)

http://i51.tinypic.com/23vhsg4.jpg
?

posting these here for posterity:

last night i had a dream that the san francisco giants in full uniform minus tim lincecum and joined by my BF were trying to light my feet on fire

November 28, 2010 at 1:10am · Like

i was thinking if tim just showed up he would put a stop to it

November 28, 2010 at 1:11am · Like

andy said every time he flicked his lighter to take another hit of weed i would jerk my feet around in my sleep

November 28, 2010 at 1:11am · Like · 1 person

last night i again dreamed of tim lincecum, he had been fired from the giants and was in an early american literature class with me in full giants uniform

6 hours ago · Like · 1 person

I had a dream that I was hanging out with a moustachioed Barack Obama and Bo found a pile in the snow that turned out to be the hacked up corpse of one of my coworkers (minus the head and arms) wrapped in a blanket. Additionally, there was a secret tunnel that had been dug into the earth next to the corpse. At the entrance to the tunnel was a hank of my hair, one of my teeth, and two little cardboard jewelry boxes which had some geographical coordinates written on them in my handwriting. I hadn't killed my coworker, but I realized inside the little boxes was evidence that would implicate me. I was freaking out about how I would hide the boxes without the president knowing.

My dreams for the past month, when I remember them, have been incredible gory and violent. I am blaming my recent viewing of "I Saw The Devil." I always forget how sensitive my mind is to gory movies like that. It happened for a few months after I saw the Texas Chainsaw remake, too.

I was talking to my mom in a really vivid dream and she wasn't paying attention, I got annoyed and then I noticed she was wearing earbuds. she finally looked at me and did her girlish giggle. "I'm listening to an NPR podcast!" this was so sweet cause if she was still alive - she passed 19 years ago - that's EXACTLY what she would be listening to.

My dad died 15 years ago and I dream about him all the time, except in every dream he's already sick and getting sicker, just crossing that line where you know the time is short. It's really awful. Had a very vivid one a few days ago.

ah that is awful - hard enough to go through it all IRL.

on a lighter note last night I dreamed that I appeared in an episode of Hawaii 5-0 (the original). as one of the detectives. At one point I cracked a joke and made stone-faced Jack Lord crack a smile. Then I thought 'was that in the script? Is he going to wonder who the hell I am and what I'm doing in his show?' Watching too many old DVDs, I guess.

i had a dream the other night that i was in my kitchen with my housemate, and she was bemoaning our lack of milk, and i said, "what? we have milk!" and i went to the fridge and pulled out a carton that said '5% Milk' on it, and proudly announced, "See? We have 5% milk, your favorite!"

for some reason, the idea of 5% milk is one that sends me into giggles.

I had a dream last night that John Tesh was at the top of a mesa, and someone was beating the shit out of him. The person harming Mr. Tesh said, "I'm gonna break every bone in your body except for in your hands and skull, so you can still write songs that remind the world who I am." And then he pushed Mr. Tesh off the edge of the mesa and he rolled down into some creosote bushes. Then it panned up –– and it was Gary Pflower, smoking a cigarette! I had a sequel to someone else's dream.

Gary Pflower strikes again! That guy is a menace.
What if John Tesh sees these dreams, writes some songs about his nemesis Gary Pflower, and they're really good.
What will we do then? Will this be the ultimate f u to Gary? Will Gary strike back in a final attempt to ruin everything that ever mattered to John Tesh, including his hands?

Last night, I dreamt that James Mason was a voice on The Simpsons. He was playing some smooth fellow trying to seduce Grandpa Simpson, who was a lady for some reason. Simultaneously, The Simpsons was a malevolent purple and green toad that was trying to attack me, ala the evil toads in Master Blaster.

Put this on the insomnia thread but it's really so weird that I think it needs to go here too.

Was on an enormous plane flying to Australia but have no idea why. The plane was like a cruise ship in terms of size, layout and facilities but very sort of dated looking and 70s in design. We spent a while just marveling at the cool weirdness of everything until the flight attendants came around with machines filled with Twizzler flavored juice and then showed me to the shower room so that I could shower. On the way we passed living room like set ups where puppies were playing. After the shower (in a communal style shower room with a whirlpool floor) it was time for take-off. A couple minutes after we were airborne the engines cut and we started sliding backwards and eventually wound up plunging into a body of water and started sinking. Suddenly the plane turned into a ship or something because it had outdoor top decks and I raced crying and frantic Titanic style to reach one. I finally made it to the top deck and found my friends I was traveling with. We were very close to shore but it was the dead of winter and the water was frozen so we couldn't just jump. We were all trying to figure out what to do next as the ship/plane was sinking rapidly when I noticed this guy I knew as a kid (but haven't seen or thought of in like 15+ years) walking by. "Justin!" I called out to him but he didn't hear me. I tried again and again but to no avail. The weird thing was he was looking directly at us and it was then that I realized we were on an invisible vessel (duh!). A ghostshipplane! After some discussion we decided we had to jump because there was no other option. We did so one by one and swam to the shore. It was then that we first spotted some people who seemed friendly enough until they started tying us up. We bolted and were chased while they screamed and shot at us. Somehow we realized these people had orchestrated the whole disaster and were living as some bizarre rebel society in floating tents with lots of rabbits.

WHAT THE HELL?

What a terrible dream. Do you dream lucidly, like do you ever pull out a gun and start shooting all the bad guys?

I haven't had any bad dreams in a while. They're just kind of weird and boring and usually have people from Facebook in them.

It is funny, I just found my old diaries from college, my dad had them stashed in a file cabinet. I had better dreams then but I could do without the college melodrama. I guess I don't miss having interesting dreams.

My dog dreams a lot, I guess. He was whimpering and crying and growling in his sleep one time. I woke him up and when he came to his senses he looked embarrassed like, "oh it was a dream".

What a coincidence my other dog is currently whining and making weird vocalizations in his sleep.

It's hysterical when dogs dream and then wake up all confused.

I don't really know if I ever fight back at the bad guys, I'm sure I do. I think in this particular dream though we were unprepared so had no option other than to just run.

I had a really terrible joke come to me in a dream...What kind of book do insects write when they are old? An auto-bug-ography.

omg:

i dreamed that i was explaining about how people harvest bird's nest soup nests and - whee - i was whisked away to china where a naked man made me crawl out on a rickety horizontal ladder 400 feet over a shallow lake and i was forced to collect a bird's nest for soup. it was terrifying, shaky, and i was worried about falling every second. unfortunately, the bird's nest i found was connected to a plug that i pulled, and the 400 foot drop between the ladder and the lake filled up nearly instantly with water. as i crawled on the (now surface level) rickety horizontal ladder back to shore, i saw that all of my bird's nest collecting equipment on shore was being eaten by alligators. i leapt in the air and flew around above them for a bit, but a very small one crawled into my mouth and tried to mate with my tongue (oh, so gross!) and when i finally ripped it off, i settled down onto shore with the alligators, which mostly turned out to be animatronic, and got into position for my place next to bill murray, who was repraising his role from Stripes. then i woke up and had a cramp in my tongue.

I did an exam and then I received an indication that I had done very well. It turned out that the exam was to decide who was going to be the King of China... and then they sent back my exam with "YOU ARE THE KING OF CHINA" written on it in big red letters. Then I thought about going on holidays somewhere as a private anonymous person, before taking office as King of China, because as a King it would be state visits and formal occasions all the way.

REMY! That's incredible. Sounds sort of like something I would dream tbh.

I dreamt I was at a chimpanzee language research facility, and I couldn't speak sign language but whenever the chimps signed I heard a voice in my head translating what they were saying. I kept holding up a picture of Buddy Ebsen to this one chimp and the chimp would sign "HATE ANNOY MAN" over and over again. I don't know how to interpret this dream because I love The Beverly Hillbillies!

dreamt i was somehow calling offense for hte chicago bears and was setting up blocking plays for forte off our one yard line and he broke a big run.

i miss football

dreamt i was watching 'the ten commandments' and there was a long added part where as the final plague rameses/yul brynner was sent forward in time to the modern day. he got married and had a family but of course ultimately couldn't shake the loss of his pharaohship and gradually went insane.

Few nights ago I dreamt I was in LA w/ Roger Ebert and we were trying to find Tupac's body; he was buried underneath some major road. I know shit-all abt LA, so in my dream this huge street was referred to as 'LAX' even though waking self knows that's actually an airport...

Most my dreams are always partly influenced by whatever I was thinking about during the day... I read an NYT article on Harry Potter and, tah-dah, dreamt I attended a special screening of the movie. But the thing that keeps weirding me out is these guest appearances by girls I haven't thought about for YEARS... possibly 4-5. I mean they have not entered a single thought of mine since, I've not contacted them, I don't even see them pop up in my friends list on Facebook considering I no longer have one (a facebook). Just recently it was a girl I had a sorta-crush on in high-school.

dreamt that suddenly every human being on earth fell into a catatonic state for 16 years. people who were outside when this happened soon succumbed to the elements or where munched by animals, but some people who were inside shelters that didn't fall apart or burn down survived.

everyone woke up 16 years older, but not with beards or crazy nails and shit. the event did however create a group of young adults with the social/intellectual skills of toddlers, and of course a complete absence of any children under 16.

it was unclear if this was the result of a plague, or a military experiment gone awry, or some matrix-like scenario.

i remember thinking that this was a great premise for a sci-fi novel but then i couldn't come up with a sci-fi-reasonable explanation for how people survived (let alone grew from toddlers to adults) without nutrients.

later i dreamt that i was playing doubles tennis with roger federer as my partner. i was not playing well at all and federer was giving me snarky advice and i was like dude fuck you, i just slept for 16 years and i was never very good anyway.

ultimately i woke up with minnie riperton's 'loving you' in my head.

Someone gave me a brown and white blue-eyed hamster as a pet and I was like "WTF do I do with this guy? I didn't ask for a hamster!" but I kept it around anyway until it got sick and I had to take it to the hamster vet. They kept it for a couple days until concluding that the hamster was not sick but just lazy and playing sick. The RX was that I had to get a hamster collar and hamster leash and take it for walks. Neither of us seemed very pleased with this outcome.

I'm in my car, approaching the crest of a steep hill on a long straightaway. I reach the top...and the road disappears. The rest of the earth disappears. I'm just free-falling in my car through space.

This was terrifying the first time I dreamed it, but I've had the same dream five or six times and I kinda roll with it now. I think to myself "well at least I don't have to keep an eye on the road," recline the driver's seat and relax for a nap. I figure I'll hit bottom someday.

last night I dreamed of these two kids doing an awesome dance to some epic banging dance song. it was like i dreamt in youtube.

I had two vaguely related dreams the other night, one of which included my first dream-flying moment in years.

In the first, I was at a rural commune dedicated to the teachings of this small, withered guru dude. He was fond of cruelly punishing his followers when they displeased him. I questioned his leadership, and he climbed onto my back like a monkey, pinning my arms at my sides. He mentally forced me to run at full tilt out across the fields. I acted as thought I didn't mind and was pleased to do his bidding whatever it might be, but inside I was terrified. I knew that he'd eventually make me do something injurious or fatal. He forced me to run through thorns, across jagged rocks and broken glass, but in the midst of it, I suddenly didn't care anymore. I shrugged him off and floated up into the sky, into this vast, mutating chamber full of spinning, shifting paisley-like architectural extrusions. I felt free and at peace, flying ever upwards through this space.

Later that night, I dreamed that my girlfriend and I had entered this immense, domed, blue and gold building that turned out to be a Taj Mahal-themed Indian restaurant, still under construction. When complete, it would have been big enough to hold a couple thousand diners. The owner was very friendly and let us try some of the food he intended to serve while workers bustled around us. It was good, but very strange.

contenderizer, i'm inclined to say, whatever you're doing in your waking life, keep doing. those sound like auspicious dreams.

speaking of indian food, i had a cool dream last wk where i was in india for a work-related convention or something, but i happened to wander off from my group. after doing so i realized that a. i didn't know where any of the people i came with were b. i had very little money and no credit card ... but at the same time i felt completely relaxed, and i was like "heck, no big deal, i could stay here forever". the dream itself was one of those ones that are almost or in fact more vivid than the rest of life. everywhere i walked around was like this fellini-esque carnival scene, but filtered through my idea of an indian sensibility, if that makes any sense. and the food was soooo good, and people were so friendly and helpful.

not sure what it all meant, except that maybe that's where i'd like to go when i expire.

Last night, I dreamt I was playing with a bunch of ponies. They were like big dogs – we rolled around on the floor and they chased tennis balls. Then they got a little rough, and each of them (there were two) took one of my shoulders in their jaws, and used it to toss me high, high in the air. It was pretty fun! I wanted to do it a second time, but they were pony-wrestling and couldn't stop for me.

http://s3.amazonaws.com/data.tumblr.com/tumblr_m0htvwiHhx1qz6f9yo1_r1_500.jpg

dreamed last night that i was watching a video by sparks. at first the brothers mael were on a rollercoaster. was kinda racy, with naked ladies (no clam). i was surprised. then they were dancing around in a school hallway and eventually turned into these blobby cartoon dogs. when i woke up, i still remembered the song, so i sang it into my telephone. it's pretty good!

Dreamt I was in a shopping mall w/my housemate and Santa was doing the "sit on knee for wishes" thing only it wasnt Santa, it was Russell Brand, and N sat on his knee excitedly and I was all "but that isn't even Russell Brand, its a guy who LOOKS like him!" and then the guy goosed N, much to his annoyance.

Trying to stop a terrorist bomb plot alongside Mick McCarthy. Mick read the map and spoke fluent Urdu with an informant whilst I lurked in the background.

I'm in a house out in the Russian countryside and I'm sitting with a bunch of other Russian people, all in their 20's and we are talking about Roman Abramovich. I stand up and walk out the door and Vladamir Putin is outside in the yard feeding the chickens. We start chatting and he says something about punts. I tell him we (as in Ireland) used to have the punt as currency. He says 'I know' and then I tell him we should have stuck with it. He has wry smile and says 'I know'.

A dream about the Russian countryside sounds really cool! I never have those dreams, I'm always shopping or decorating, because that's mostly what I do all day.

Last night I had a dream that someone took my beloved lab away from me to be put to sleep. I felt his body and it was stiff. When I woke up I found him on the floor, warm and alert. And very vital. I gave him a hug. He is nine years old. I would be devastated to lose my baby right now!

Saw a documentary clip about Bob Pollard being booted from the USA For Africa sessions (by no less than Drew Barrymore) for drunken belligerence and because "he wasn't getting into the spirit of the whole thing". They showed a snapshot of him tumbling from the singing dais as he attempted to hit a snare drum with oversized novelty drumsticks, while everyone else just looked on in disgust.

I probably haven't heard "We Are The World" in years. So, naturally, it popped up this morning (about an hour after I had that dream) with my iTunes on shuffle.

bill oddie joined inxs

threw my ipod at an incredibly annoying colleague. woke up upset because my ipod was broken

Bill Bailey appeared in my dream this morning as a Ruby programming guru, taking the piss out of an online article that criticised Ruby.

I was in a prog-rock LP shop. All prog-rock albums in the shop had very similar white covers; it seemed like the issuance of prog-rock albums had been more or less monopolized by a company with a severe house style. The shop was situated kind of at a ridge along a river; I had to walk boardwalks and a bridge to get there.

severe house style

Lol