Give completely irrelevant/insignificant/superficial reasons to support a political candidate

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Ever wanna vote for somebody for reasons that had nothing to do with anything? use this thread to talk about such superficial bullshit here.

mainly, i just needed to make a thread to go on about how i like john kerry for really selfish, irrelevant reasons that have nothing to do with his political life.(besides all the really obvious ones that actually DO reflect on his service/capabilities)

But feel free pick any politician in any race anywhere and say what things you like about them. The more insignificant, the better.

― Sir Kingfish Beavis D'Azzmonch (Kingfish), Wednesday, 27 October 2004 21:07 (twenty-one years ago)

Vote for Bush. Because he's the bigger baseball fan.

― MindInRewind (Barry Bruner), Wednesday, 27 October 2004 21:10 (twenty-one years ago)

I'd rather have a beer with Bush.

Not really, but I always thought that claim was superficial bullshit. I'd rather have a beer with Kerry or Gore anyway.

― wetmink (wetmink), Wednesday, 27 October 2004 21:10 (twenty-one years ago)

oh yeah, and this ain't one of them serious politickin' threads. this is a thread for irrational and possibly unjustifiable likes. We gun' be positive in this one.

― Sir Kingfish Beavis D'Azzmonch (Kingfish), Wednesday, 27 October 2004 21:11 (twenty-one years ago)

Vote for X or I'll assassinate your family and friends. Thanks for your support.

― Michael White (Hereward), Wednesday, 27 October 2004 21:12 (twenty-one years ago)

Bush seems like more fun. With a little coaxing, he'd shoot beer cans with you in the woods or sniff coke off a hooker's belly

― Roger Fidelity (Roger Fidelity), Wednesday, 27 October 2004 21:13 (twenty-one years ago)

After enough, he'd probably do it the other way round though.

― Michael White (Hereward), Wednesday, 27 October 2004 21:14 (twenty-one years ago)

Kerry played college hockey, played bass guitar in a frat rock band in 1961, and is really into spanish guitar.

i can't help but like the concept of a President who can play hockey.

XP DAMN YOU CHARLES XAVIER! YOUR SUPPORTERS HAVE GONE TOO FAR!

― Sir Kingfish Beavis D'Azzmonch (Kingfish), Wednesday, 27 October 2004 21:14 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.artsmia.org/foot_in_the_door/300images/maep1412.jpg

I would vote for Kruschev because he shook his shoe at Kennedy and exclaimed "We will bury you!!'

― andy, Wednesday, 27 October 2004 21:15 (twenty-one years ago)

FREE RUSSIAN UNDERTAKERS!!!!!!!!! YAY!!!!!!

― Michael White (Hereward), Wednesday, 27 October 2004 21:17 (twenty-one years ago)

Ernie Banks and Roger Staubach support George Bush, so should you.

― milozauckerman (miloaukerman), Wednesday, 27 October 2004 21:21 (twenty-one years ago)

actually, MIR has the precise point. this is a thread for which candidate you WOULD rather have a beer with, and why.

― Sir Kingfish Beavis D'Azzmonch (Kingfish), Wednesday, 27 October 2004 21:22 (twenty-one years ago)

Vote for Kerry. He's older, therefore he is wiser and more trustworthy.
(xpost -- yes, Bush doesn't drink, and I wouldn't trust anyone who can't enjoy a nice drink)

― MindInRewind (Barry Bruner), Wednesday, 27 October 2004 21:25 (twenty-one years ago)

With a little coaxing, he'd shoot beer cans with you in the woods or sniff coke off a hooker's belly

A DEAD hooker's belly.

― Michael Daddino (epicharmus), Wednesday, 27 October 2004 21:26 (twenty-one years ago)

I no longer drink beer but I'd gladly sit down with Kerry over a great bottle of wine and see how good his French really is.

― Michael White (Hereward), Wednesday, 27 October 2004 21:26 (twenty-one years ago)

I'd rather have a beer with Dick Cheney than Bush. Bush was a cheerleader, how awful would that conversation be? You couldn't even talk sports, he'd just get all hyper like the people who call in to sports radio yelling FIRE THE COACH!!!

Cheney, at least you could pick the brain of soulless evil, and he's probably got some wicked stock tips. "We're invading North Korea Spring '06, dump all your South Korean tech stocks."

― milozauckerman (miloaukerman), Wednesday, 27 October 2004 21:26 (twenty-one years ago)

milo has an excellent point. Plus I'd rather go to Wyoming than Texas.

― Michael White (Hereward), Wednesday, 27 October 2004 21:28 (twenty-one years ago)

You should realize that the majority of Americans DO vote based on "irrationality." Most Dems and Republicans cannot even agree on whether Saddam was behind 9/11.

― Strauss, Wednesday, 27 October 2004 21:30 (twenty-one years ago)

come to think of it, i'd rather have a beer with Yeltsin. Dude HAS to have some good stories.

― Sir Kingfish Beavis D'Azzmonch (Kingfish), Wednesday, 27 October 2004 21:34 (twenty-one years ago)

Yeltsin drinks beer? Isn't that a little watered down for him?

― MindInRewind (Barry Bruner), Wednesday, 27 October 2004 21:34 (twenty-one years ago)

my tolerance ain't nearly enough to go toe-to-toe on Stoli with the man, so we'll start gradually...

― Sir Kingfish Beavis D'Azzmonch (Kingfish), Wednesday, 27 October 2004 21:37 (twenty-one years ago)

Kingfish, no worries. He'll be loaded when you show up anyway.

― Michael White (Hereward), Wednesday, 27 October 2004 21:39 (twenty-one years ago)

Is Gorby still alive? I'd like to know what it's like to be premier of the Evil Empire one minute and chilling in suburban Virginia the next. Does he get recognized at the grocery store?

― milozauckerman (miloaukerman), Wednesday, 27 October 2004 21:40 (twenty-one years ago)

Kerry said he shot a goose, but had someone else carry the dead bird because he was tired as a result of being up late the prior evening "giddy over the Red Sox".

― dan (dan), Wednesday, 27 October 2004 21:41 (twenty-one years ago)

That settles it then. Bush wouldn't let somebody else carry his own game. A real man carries his kill back to camp, skins it with his teeth, and cooks it up over an open fire. Sounds like Bush to me.

― MindInRewind (Barry Bruner), Wednesday, 27 October 2004 21:42 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm with you. Real men don't use words like "giddy" either.

― dan (dan), Wednesday, 27 October 2004 21:43 (twenty-one years ago)

I saw a guy on the (BBC?) news today who, when asked why he would vote for Bush said it was because he would rather eat a chili dog with him, and that Bush looked like he had at least eaten a chili dog. I liked that answer.

― Kevin Gilchrist (Mr Fusion), Wednesday, 27 October 2004 21:44 (twenty-one years ago)

Ahem. Real men have survived Army/Navy/AF/MC swill.

― Michael White (Hereward), Wednesday, 27 October 2004 21:49 (twenty-one years ago)

If we were voting for purely superficial reasons, Lindsey Lohan would be the next president...

― jay blanchard (jay blanchard), Wednesday, 27 October 2004 21:51 (twenty-one years ago)

Yeah, but "insignificant"?

― Kevin Gilchrist (Mr Fusion), Wednesday, 27 October 2004 21:52 (twenty-one years ago)

Nah, there's gotta be cuter than that.

― Michael White (Hereward), Wednesday, 27 October 2004 21:53 (twenty-one years ago)

Mary-Louise Parker 4 President

― milozauckerman (miloaukerman), Wednesday, 27 October 2004 21:54 (twenty-one years ago)

i like kerry's sister the greenwich village hippie troublemaker.

― motown modown (Jody Beth Rosen), Wednesday, 27 October 2004 21:56 (twenty-one years ago)

Who is she?

― Michael White (Hereward), Wednesday, 27 October 2004 21:57 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.thevillager.com/villager_42/kerrysbigsister.html

― motown modown (Jody Beth Rosen), Wednesday, 27 October 2004 22:02 (twenty-one years ago)

Cool. Thanks.

― Michael White (Hereward), Wednesday, 27 October 2004 22:07 (twenty-one years ago)

John Kerry's brunette daughter is prettier than those dumb ugly Bush twins. Vote Kerry!

― kyle (akmonday), Wednesday, 27 October 2004 22:10 (twenty-one years ago)

John Kerry's wife, who I'm sure is a charming and intelligent woman, looks like Dustin Hoffman in Tootsie. Vote Bush!

― dan (dan), Wednesday, 27 October 2004 23:09 (twenty-one years ago)

Kerry's daughter is not only hot, she guest-starred in a Robert Altman miniseries. Vote Kerry!

― milozauckerman (miloaukerman), Wednesday, 27 October 2004 23:10 (twenty-one years ago)

John Kerry's wife, who I'm sure is a charming and intelligent woman

― Curt1s St3ph3ns, Wednesday, 27 October 2004 23:14 (twenty-one years ago)

he calls people "girlie men"

― fcussen (Burger), Wednesday, 27 October 2004 23:25 (twenty-one years ago)

Id rather have a beer with kucinich. Im sure it'd be his first one ever and he'd get shitcanned. hilarity ensues.

― still bevens (bscrubbins), Thursday, 28 October 2004 00:19 (twenty-one years ago)

kerry's favorite novel is also my favorite novel. therefore i would want to have a beer with him.

― ryan (ryan), Thursday, 28 October 2004 00:25 (twenty-one years ago)

I never read novels, so Kerry and I wouldn't get along

― Curt1s St3ph3ns, Thursday, 28 October 2004 00:26 (twenty-one years ago)

What's Kerry's favourite novel?

― Kevin Gilchrist (Mr Fusion), Thursday, 28 October 2004 00:27 (twenty-one years ago)

Captain Underpants vs. Sam Snot

― Curt1s St3ph3ns, Thursday, 28 October 2004 00:28 (twenty-one years ago)

Watchers by Dean Koontz

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Thursday, 28 October 2004 00:29 (twenty-one years ago)

The Moviegoer by Walker Percy. tho handlers may have made him change his mind by now, he said that in the early stages of the primaries.

― ryan (ryan), Thursday, 28 October 2004 00:31 (twenty-one years ago)

i like kerry even more now.

― motown modown (Jody Beth Rosen), Thursday, 28 October 2004 00:39 (twenty-one years ago)

I haven't read 'The Moviegoer'. I have, however, read 'Watchers', so I would vote for Kerry because we could have a beer and discuss Dean Kootz.

― Kevin Gilchrist (Mr Fusion), Thursday, 28 October 2004 00:40 (twenty-one years ago)

Okay, if I threw a suburban barbecue/pool party, I'm pretty sure how each candidate would behave as a guest.

Bush: would make some futzy comment about 'your teenager' if one were present, would pee in pool.

Kerry: would arrive with bottle of quality Scotch as BYOB gift, and tell you a nice story about it.

― suzy (suzy), Thursday, 28 October 2004 07:00 (twenty-one years ago)

Kerry: Served his country notably in a war. Plays hockey. Guest-starred on "Cheers". Plays guitar. Is tall.

Bush: Did his fair share of liquor and hard drugs. Calls the South home. Hits his head like a toddler when frustrated and shoots the bird. Likes to point out that his job is hard work.

I hate to say it, but I may have more in common with Bush than I do with Kerry. Man, I wish my daddy was rich.

― Pleasant Plains (Pleasant Plains), Thursday, 28 October 2004 12:37 (twenty-one years ago)

Teresa has chutzpah, Laura has, um...cookies?

― jocelyn (Jocelyn), Thursday, 28 October 2004 12:40 (twenty-one years ago)

I like Suzy's analysis a lot. Kerry was on Cheers? How do I not know that?

― Kevin Gilchrist (Mr Fusion), Thursday, 28 October 2004 13:40 (twenty-one years ago)

I once voted for Ronald Reagan because I was young and stupid and thought it was hysterical that some dumbass B-movie actor with visible makeup was actually running for president. I figured no way he could win, so it'd be funny to vote for him.

The joke, of course, was on me.

― Hey Jude, Thursday, 28 October 2004 14:21 (twenty-one years ago)

You and 100 million other Americans who voted for the same reason.

― Kevin Gilchrist (Mr Fusion), Thursday, 28 October 2004 14:24 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm with you. Real men don't use words like "giddy" either.
-- dan (dregan2...), October 27th, 2004.

I think you need to talk to the writers of the daily show. they stole your jib last night..

― still bevens (bscrubbins), Thursday, 28 October 2004 14:27 (twenty-one years ago)

About a week ago I read an article in which an undecided voter, being hassled to choose, opted for Bush because he seemed to be so loving toward Laura Bush.

Briefly I wondered if requiring voters to pass literacy and intelligence tests -- fairly applied, of course -- would be such a bad thing after all. (Then of course I remembered how such tests were used in the pre-civil rights south.)

As for my vote, I could cite legitimate reasons why I support Kerry, but in addition to those I would love to see if Teresa as First Lady continues to shoot off her mouth.

― j.lu (j.lu), Thursday, 28 October 2004 16:56 (twenty-one years ago)

I think Kerry has been loving enough towards Laura Bush to get my vote.

― Michael White (Hereward), Thursday, 28 October 2004 16:57 (twenty-one years ago)

I have a coworker who is going to vote for Bush because she thinks Kerry's coat is ugly. Seriously.

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 28 October 2004 17:19 (twenty-one years ago)

He's been on the campaign trail for a while and he hasn't had much time to get it brushed.

― Michael White (Hereward), Thursday, 28 October 2004 17:25 (twenty-one years ago)

he & the preznit wore the exact same thing during debate #3, tho

― Sir Kingfish Beavis D'Azzmonch (Kingfish), Thursday, 28 October 2004 17:35 (twenty-one years ago)

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