Deliberately confusing children

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When I was young I told my friend Adam that "naked" meant "rich". It was so funny!

I also told my cousins that the poops in my hamster's cage were special chocolates for both humans and hamsters and I let them try some.

― adam... (nordicskilla), Thursday, 28 October 2004 19:51 (twenty-one years ago)

Adam, you are a bad person. I improperly encouraged a little kid this summer when he told me, very excitedly, that he pushed a girl in the mud. Laughing and giving him a high five = setting back feminism thirty years.

― Ian John50n (orion), Thursday, 28 October 2004 19:53 (twenty-one years ago)

cool!

― adam... (nordicskilla), Thursday, 28 October 2004 19:53 (twenty-one years ago)

I told my little brother that "plout" was another word for hot water bottle - can't remember why

― Dadaismus (Dada), Thursday, 28 October 2004 19:53 (twenty-one years ago)

I thought at first you meant the children were deliberately confusing YOU.

― jaymc (jaymc), Thursday, 28 October 2004 19:54 (twenty-one years ago)

My brother convinced me my parents bought me from the gypsies.

― jocelyn (Jocelyn), Thursday, 28 October 2004 19:54 (twenty-one years ago)

i love the idea of hamster cages housing "special chocolates" . . .

― kelsey (kelstarry), Thursday, 28 October 2004 19:54 (twenty-one years ago)

they ate them and said they were good!

― adam... (nordicskilla), Thursday, 28 October 2004 19:55 (twenty-one years ago)

My son was going through a not-pooping phase that was becoming extremely unhealthy. One day I told him that, if he didn't poop (it had been like 8 days since the last BM), he would soon EXPLODE. He dropped a tater of a turd that night, and was ECSTATIC upon showing it to me.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Thursday, 28 October 2004 19:55 (twenty-one years ago)

They're organic if nothing else (xpost)

― Dadaismus (Dada), Thursday, 28 October 2004 19:56 (twenty-one years ago)

Confusing children to get them to do what you want them to is evil!

― Dadaismus (Dada), Thursday, 28 October 2004 19:57 (twenty-one years ago)

A conversation from one time with him:

Him: Look daddy, there's a McDonalds.
Me: *sarcastic woohoo*
Him: You don't like McDonalds, daddy?
Me: No son.
Him: Why not?
Me: Because their burgers are made of KITTENS.

I think my worst Bad Dad moments are when I expect my son to know I'm joking.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Thursday, 28 October 2004 19:57 (twenty-one years ago)

I used to feed my nephew disinformation all the time, mostly stuff that he would figure out within the day so that we could have a laugh about it. I was teaching him that grown-ups are full of shit.

― Huk-L, Thursday, 28 October 2004 19:57 (twenty-one years ago)

I convinced this one girl who lived down my street that if she ate the rocks in her driveway that she would have magical powers, such as the ability to fly. But this was when I was 9, I'm not that evil now.

― Leon Czolgosz (Nicole), Thursday, 28 October 2004 19:58 (twenty-one years ago)

Did she survive?

― Dadaismus (Dada), Thursday, 28 October 2004 19:59 (twenty-one years ago)

nick! i didn't know you were a dad . . . kitten burgers is a sick thing to tell your son!

― kelsey (kelstarry), Thursday, 28 October 2004 19:59 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm not that evil now.

Well that's no fun. Reclaim the dark horror of the soul.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 28 October 2004 20:01 (twenty-one years ago)

She survived just fine! I think she only ate 3 or 4 little stones...they weren't very big.

― Leon Czolgosz (Nicole), Thursday, 28 October 2004 20:08 (twenty-one years ago)

I meant did she survive the flight?

― Dadaismus (Dada), Thursday, 28 October 2004 20:08 (twenty-one years ago)

my parents told me animals could talk after midnight

― Fritz Wollner (Fritz), Thursday, 28 October 2004 20:10 (twenty-one years ago)

....no, that was David Byrne

― Dadaismus (Dada), Thursday, 28 October 2004 20:10 (twenty-one years ago)

My brother and sisters once told me that "pankle" was the most odious of all curse words. They then proceeded to drop the p-bomb at dinner all night while I protested in vain to my parents. The night ended in tears (and laughter).

― roxymuzak (roxymuzak), Thursday, 28 October 2004 20:16 (twenty-one years ago)

haha

― Jordan (Jordan), Thursday, 28 October 2004 20:21 (twenty-one years ago)

What the pankle are you talking about?

― Michael White (Hereward), Thursday, 28 October 2004 20:22 (twenty-one years ago)

MOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!

― roxymuzak (roxymuzak), Thursday, 28 October 2004 22:02 (twenty-one years ago)

Pankle derives from the lustily impatient order to drop pants to ankles.

― Michael White (Hereward), Thursday, 28 October 2004 22:05 (twenty-one years ago)

"Look, we haven't got much time. PANKLE."

― roxymuzak (roxymuzak), Thursday, 28 October 2004 22:05 (twenty-one years ago)

I declare PANKLE a swear! OMG I love it :D

― Trayce (trayce), Thursday, 28 October 2004 23:27 (twenty-one years ago)

My dad convinced his (much) younger brother that 'Hopalong Cassidy' was the single rudest thing anybody could ever say. I think you can see where this is going.

― Andrew (enneff), Thursday, 28 October 2004 23:57 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.thestranger.com/current/special1.jpg

― sometimes i like to pretend i am very small and warm (ex machina), Friday, 29 October 2004 00:00 (twenty-one years ago)

In an effort to get me to stop belching for laughs all the time my dad told me if I did it too much my throat would fall off and I would be froced to eat his god awful bran cereal as a result.
This worked for over 10 YEARS!

― Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Friday, 29 October 2004 00:18 (twenty-one years ago)

Kind of along the same line, but otherwise:

My wife's mother and a couple of her friends came to our home for a visit. Mom was admiring some wildflowers along a stonewall and asked me what they were called. I replied: "hemophilias". Mom turned to her friends, saying: "Oh they're hemophilias!". Her friends got it, but it took mom a minute or two.

― jim wentworth (wench), Friday, 29 October 2004 00:58 (twenty-one years ago)

Some friends of mine created a 5th Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle named "Dimiglio". I convinced my little cousins that he was real but was only in the comics and only in the first few issues. They believed me. I told them he shot throwing stars out of several points on his body as his power or some shit. They told all of their friends and convinced them too.

Another one was when my cousin Nevin was staying with us one time. He was prone to getting headaches a lot. He was a regular aspirin popper by age 11, and he had a bad headache during this visit. He asked my brother for some aspirin and Dave came back with a couple of tablets for him. About half an hour later my brother looked at Nevin and asked, "So how's your head? Feeling ok?" Nevin said, "Yeah, I feel fine now." Dave asked him "you don't feel funny at all?" Nevin shook his head. My brother then looked and him and exclaimed "BECAUSE I GAVE YOU MIDOL AND YOU'RE GONNA TURN INTO A WOMAN!!!" Nevin screamed, started crying uncontrollably, and we laughed and laughed.

― Bryan (Bryan), Friday, 29 October 2004 03:37 (twenty-one years ago)

In 5th grade, I told J03 R4h0 there was a bus that would come at night and pick him up and bring him to a secret sex club behind the VFW where he could hook up with a cyborg-avatar of any girl he wanted, if he stayed up and watched at his window until 3am. He did one night, the bus didn't come, and he didn't talk to me until last year.

― Remy (x Jeremy), Friday, 29 October 2004 03:40 (twenty-one years ago)

That story sound very familiar.

― Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Friday, 29 October 2004 04:21 (twenty-one years ago)

Please tell me you're not J03.

― Remy (x Jeremy), Friday, 29 October 2004 04:22 (twenty-one years ago)

Jeremy you are an evil genius ;)

― Trayce (trayce), Friday, 29 October 2004 04:26 (twenty-one years ago)

Another time I told him that drinking a 50/50 concoction of menstrual fluid + semen dried to a light green powder would make a magical sex potion able to seduce anybody. He asked me if that's what 'Spanish Fly' was, and I told him that Spanish Fly was corn syrup, piss and pubic hair clippings. I was a pretty disturbed kid.

― Remy (x Jeremy), Friday, 29 October 2004 04:30 (twenty-one years ago)

I tell kids a whole heap of shit and they lap it up!

I write books full of lies, and they believe it all! My life is fucking great!

― J.K. Rowling, Friday, 29 October 2004 04:37 (twenty-one years ago)

My shit is better.

― Remy (x Jeremy), Friday, 29 October 2004 04:41 (twenty-one years ago)

Damn straight it is ;)

― Trayce (trayce), Friday, 29 October 2004 05:06 (twenty-one years ago)

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