Swing That Two Headed Ax!

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OR: Tell me about that there Lord of the Rings. I cringe about thinking to read it. Should I? Am I being biased? I saw the trailor for it at the pitchers last nite and I think there was one BIG AX(e) but I would prefer MORE. Also taking sides: Ax vs Axe? Which is more rock?

Also I have £7 off voucher to use at BOL.com - I am going to get Infinite Jest. WHAT ELSE EH WHAT ELSE? I shall buy THREE BOOKS so suggest two more please (axes not necessary unless they are bloodthirsty).

― Sarah, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

― Will, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Read "The Wind Up Bird Chronicle". It is very good.

― Mark C, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Don't read Lord Of The Rings. If you managed to avoid it when when you were 12, don't put yourself through it now.

― DG, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

am i really going to say Victor Pelevin and Donald Antrim again? yes, it probably looks that way.

― gareth, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Will, Mark: read it read it read it read it read it read it :) What about his other stuff, eg Hard Boiled Wonderland.../Norweigan Wood (?) ect? Actually scratch that I will not read anything which ref. Ver Beatles.

― Sarah, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

The Tapehead book (Interference) is very good and makes you laugh on the tube. and The Wind Up Bird Chronicle is AceAceAce.

― Jonnie, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

firstly, Sarah, it is AXE with an E on the end. or aX0r i suppose. hm.

secondly what is this wind up bird chronicle? what is the deal with it? i have never heard of this.

thirdly i would say YES! read the Lord Of The Rings! but also read Tha Hobbit. if you do not wish to chance many pence on the whole LOTR trilogy, i would buy just the first volume, or even get it second hand. i like second hand books. i'd lend you my LOTR only my boyfriend is reading it and taking a v. long time about it too i might add.

― katie, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

and, COR BLIMEY if there aren't loads of Axes in it, as well as swords big and small (one is called Sting, hohohoho), bows and arrers, and all types of mediaeval-ass weaponry. oh yes.

― katie, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Starry: Sputnik Sweetheart is the best HK novel for heart-breaking poignancy (closely followed by South of the Border, West of the Sun; HBW&TEOTW is the best for existential bad-ass Borgesian noir; The Elephant Vanishes is a good short story collection for dipping into, in a more surreal vein than his later fictions.

― Edna Welthorpe, Mrs, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

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― Nick, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Dance, Dance, Dance. That's cool too.

― Jonnie, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

just repeating "the wind-up bird chronicle" over and over is not making me any wiser as to what it actually IS!

― katie, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Duh, It's a book.

― JOnnie, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Katie! Katie! Read... the Wind-Up Bird Chroniclethe Wind-Up Bird Chroniclethe Wind-Up Bird Chroniclethe Wind-Up Bird Chroniclethe Wind-Up Bird Chroniclethe Wind-Up Bird Chroniclethe Wind-Up Bird Chroniclethe Wind-Up Bird Chroniclethe Wind-Up Bird Chroniclethe Wind-Up Bird Chroniclethe Wind-Up Bird Chroniclethe Wind-Up Bird Chroniclethe Wind-Up Bird Chroniclethe Wind-Up Bird Chroniclethe Wind-Up Bird Chroniclethe Wind-Up Bird Chroniclethe Wind-Up Bird Chroniclethe Wind-Up Bird Chroniclethe Wind-Up Bird Chroniclethe Wind-Up Bird Chroniclethe Wind-Up Bird Chroniclethe Wind-Up Bird Chroniclethe Wind-Up Bird Chroniclethe Wind-Up Bird Chroniclethe Wind-Up Bird Chroniclethe Wind-Up Bird Chroniclethe Wind-Up Bird Chroniclethe Wind-Up Bird Chroniclethe Wind-Up Bird Chroniclethe Wind-Up Bird Chroniclethe Wind-Up Bird Chroniclethe Wind-Up Bird Chroniclethe Wind-Up Bird Chroniclethe Wind-Up Bird Chroniclethe Wind-Up Bird Chroniclethe Wind-Up Bird Chroniclethe Wind-Up Bird Chroniclethe Wind-Up Bird Chroniclethe Wind-Up Bird Chroniclethe Wind-Up Bird Chroniclethe Wind-Up Bird Chroniclethe Wind-Up Bird Chroniclethe Wind-Up Bird Chroniclethe Wind-Up Bird Chroniclethe Wind-Up Bird Chronicle

Shite, am I bored at work today.

― Will, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

i concur with all the Murakami recommendations. All of his stuff is great, though Norwegian Wood slightly less so. Read a Hard Boiled Wonderland and the End of the World - i think that's my favourite.

i didn't read LOTR when i was young (gave up on the first book when i was 13, don't know why cos i waded my way through endless other tomes of rubbish) so i'm reading it now for the fisrt time and really enjoying it. i read the Hobbit first to warm myself up and get into all the mediaeval axe-swinging. (Axe is better, except when you are playing scrabble!)

― liz, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

will and johhnie i am going to bang yr heads together. i looked on Amazon and found that it is about a man who loses his cat. i like cats therefore i shall read it. are you happy now! SHEESH.

― katie, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Sarah, if you're looking to make yourself some serious wedge, then might I suggest "How to Play Poker and Win" by Brian McNally, a snip at £7.99 available from all good www.channel4.com/shop/ sites.

Oh, and avoid LOTR like the proverbial plague. Life's too short.

― Brian McNally, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

What about some heavyweight BRANE books then eh? So far it's Infinite Jest and the Donald Antrim one which I am getting because it has SIXTY PSYCHOANALYSTS AT A DINNER PARTY which suggests some top jums. Brane books that help me LARN? I briefly thought about a Brief History of Space And Time and then asked myself HOW much did I want to waste money?

― Sarah, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

get CHAOS! CHAOS CHAOS! it is fantabuloso, well written like a mystery novel and has all kinds of pretty pictures as well as the hardcore maths but even if you don't understand the hardcore maths you still get a pretty good idea of what's going on and it DOES YOUR HEAD IN. it's ace!

― katie, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Starry vs. Joyce's Ulysses: FITE!

― Will, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Is Will haffing a larff at me in there somewhere? Also, I have heard rumours that Joyce don't even write in proper Engleesh like wot I do, what's the beeswax with THAT ahem? You barstard bol.com you aren't working now, yeah like do you think you're FAR OUT cos you don't connect? HMPH!

― Sarah, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

If one more person says they couldn't get past page five of A Brief History Of Time in a self-satisfied way I will smack them, I swear.

Oh and Joyce writes in proper English unless your definition of proper English is very narrow.

― RickyT, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

is this RickyT and Sarah: FITE!?!?!

― katie, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I am wondering if that was a THREAT or a PROMISE hem hem corr strike a light...

― Sarah, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Oh and isn't it A Brief History Of SPACE AND Time, RickyT? You thickwad!! And what was Joyces last name anyway, isn't it a bit disrespectful to call her by her first name all the time? AS IF you knew her, I think that's RUDE.

― Sarah, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Oh and isn't it A Brief History Of SPACE AND Time, RickyT? You thickwad!!

No, it isn't. Durbrain!!!

― Nick, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

rickyT is as usual just getting on his high horse re. people who do not have MAs in physics inexplicably not being able to understand the finer points of unified field theory, etc.

― katie, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Shut UP cheesehead Dastoor, BELM!!!! And I feel THIS way about unified field theory: "No".

― Sarah, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

i agree with Sarah: Booo To Physicists! er, except the Chaos ones. they're kinda cool.

― katie, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Virtual food fight!

― Will, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I hate the way it's become such a fucking cliche for people to say I only got to page x or whatever. For a while it seemed like people were buying it just so they could say that about it. And OK, maybe I am on my camel, but it riles me to all buggery that this book has managed to garner this reputation as being in someway extraordinarily difficult because it's not as easy to read straight through as yer average popular novel. Of course it's not, it's dealing with some fairly sophisticated views of time and space that might be intially rather difficult to digest. But if you read it in bits and THINK about what it's saying as you're going along it's perfectly readable. I mean, if it's going to change the way you think about time, it's bound to require a bit of thought isn't it?

And to answer the specific accusation, I read it before I even went to ruddy university to do my ever so fancy degree, Katie.

― RickyT, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

uh huh rick, and were you doing maths and physics 'a' levels when the rest of us were buggering about drawing naked men with charcoal (MISSUS)? why yes, i think you'll find you were. 'ABHOT' is ALWAYS touted as the quick simple answer to all your scientific wonderings about time and space, and that is false advertising i think you'll find. i just gave up because i found it *boring*, unlike Chaos which actually is quite difficult but makes me want to read on. so there. you can stick that in your differential and smoke it.

― katie, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Kitchen by Yoshimito
The Tin Drum - Gunter Grass
the Collected Poems of Frank O'Hara
Sodomy and the Pirate Traditon
Anything by Tod Wayman
The Man w. Night Sweats - Thom Gunn
An Awful Rowing Towards G-d _ Anne Sexton
The New Issac Babel Short Story Collection
Good Bones- Atwood ( the source of about 1/4 of my families in jokes)
American Gods -Neil Gaiman
Andy Warhol - Wayne Kaustenbom

― anthony, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

But the stuff I was doing in Maths and Physics at A-level had sod all to do with the stuff in ABHOT!

Seriously, if you stopped reading it cos it was boring, fair enough, I haven't got a problem with that. It's the hordes of folks who said they couldn't get past page 23 in a kind of smug 'oh phew at least I'm not a geek way' that I'm pissed off about.

― RickyT, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Cor blimey guv, what's all this bourgeois malarkey about "buying" books, eh eh? I get all mine from the library. Libraries give us plebs power, don't ya know, my mate Mr Bradfield says so, so ner.

― Manic Nietzsche Reader, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

my point was that you are quite clearly mathematically inclined and therefore probably more likely to understand and be receptive to that stuff anyway, unlike those of us who were drawing-nude-men inclined and therefore, er, not. i fail to see how admitting ignorance and defeat in trying to read a book that was constantly advertised as the fule's guide to theoretical physics can be construed as smug. and yes seriously, i thought it was atrociously written and boring, though i may give it another go.

― katie, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I'm not saying it's intrinsically smug to say that, rather that people said it in a smug way.

― RickyT, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

boo hoo. murakami whatdyacallhim, wind-up bird chronicle/dancedancedance guy was the author that my ex was trying to get me to read in the months before we split up. he sounds like my thing, but it'll take me a while to get back to that. esp as she also got me to read the dull x 100000 secret history.

― Alan Trewartha, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

well they are crap then. i would give my eye teeth to have that kind of knowledge and being basically shouted at for not understanding it is not my idea of a good time thank you very much.

― katie, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Poor RickyT,some support for him: Chaos theory is the area out of pure science, that thanks to the pretty pictures/beguiling metaphores, is more accesible to the 'public'. Ricky, you should understand them.

How are the plebeians going to cope with all that stuff on failing boundary conditions on the derivatives if they don't know how to derive in first place?

Mandelbrot's set produces fantastic paisley designs,btw

― Laetitia, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

If people in this case = me, then I said it would be a waste of money for following REASONS: due to its BIG EXPENSE and also the fact that yes I can very easily see myself getting stuck with it! It is a very big leap for someone who has only just relearned how to do long division on paper therefore at this point it would be a waste so dismount from yer saddle before you have another fit and fling yerself off!

― Sarah, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

physicists on the subject of physics = classic. physicists on morals and metaphysics = super DUD. in the main.

― Alan Trewartha, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Moan moan Black Holes and Uncle Albert better than long word branefaces. Actually I would like physics more if it was talked about in ye olde wurlde terms of "physick".

― Sarah, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

is Physick not medicine? hm. and ACKSHIRLEY Laetitia it's not just the pretty pictures that i like (though the beguiling metaphors are good, esp. with regard to Romantic Poetry) so there. i know i am only a poor lowly arts grad, etc etc...

― katie, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Katie, I wasn't shouting at you, FFS. Though, um, maybe I am now.

― RickyT, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Oh and Alan is certainly on the money here. Physicists talking about philosophy in general = very big dud, cos they never seem to have given the matter much thought before pronouncing on it.

― RickyT, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Good call RickyT.

― Jonnie, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I think "physick" is stuff like leeches and hogsbane and wolfbane and lots of groovey sounding things like that. It makes me think of alchemists and dingy alleys and POTIONS.

― Sarah, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Hey, I just was trying to offer some logistic support to RickyT, no offense intended. The point is that unless one has received an intensive mathematical training, other scientific stuff becomes a bitter pillow to swallow. It is just a question of trying to read a book in a language you cannot speak,let's say.

Phisika is 'nature' in Greek? Or something similar.

― Laetitia, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

i am sorry Laetitia, didn't mean to snap. i'm just a bit sensitive at the moment as i feel picked upon by science grads, boo hoo.

― katie, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Awww, don't worry Katie! You don't need to know about physics to make damn good curry!
At least you're not a geek! ;-) (*runs away. Fast*)

― Will, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Hmph let's look at the person with only A-levels now shall we HMPH I am annoyed and sad now and want to read Confessions of a Shopaholic it being the only thing my thick brain could understand obviously. What's the point of reading books if they're not going to have any affect on you well what's the point of bothering to TRY if you won't understand.

― Sarah, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I do apologise I am now in a grump. Not fair, it's my flipping thread anyway I want to take my toys home now :(

― Sarah, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

tonight, sarah, i am going to curl up with borrowed CAT and pointedly read Alice In Wonderland AT RICKY T. come join me.

― katie, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I've never read ABHOT but I have it on good authority that there are much better written/explained books around that do a much better job of explaining the BIG QUESTIONS of cosmology and quantum theory to a lay reader. Hawking just got all the hype.

― Nick, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I only got to page 11.

― Tom, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

i didn't even get as far as the bookshop

― gareth, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Waah nope I must go back to Luxurious Multi-Ethnic Council Estate Lone Parent South London Land and eat some sossages and mash and gravy to cheer myself up and also PLOT nefarious schemes. Against PHYSICS. If you lot start making me resent maths I shall be even more upset waaah. I do want a cat though I may kidnap one but all the ones in SW9 are evil. I hate my life! Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

― Sarah, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Mick Foley's Christmas Chaos! (I always suggest the same damn books, as my literal knowledge is limited!)

― james, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Lord of the Rings, the two times I attempted to read it, was booooring. I got through the Hobbit on my second try, and it would have been REALLY GOOD if it hadn't dragged on so because of the unnecessary and dull detail, but instead it was barely tolerable. The book after that was just impossible.

So every couple of weeks I have an argument, me vs. dad and brother, in which they say "narnia is crap and lord of the rings is the best book ever" and i say "no no no, narnia's lovely but you just can't appreciate it, and you vastly overrate lord of the rings, especially mr brother saying 'it's so great' when you haven't picked it up in months and aren't through the first book." Arrr!

The only "science" book I've ever read was "Flatland" in eighth grade. Take that!

― Maria, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

hawking left his wife and shacked up w.his sexy nurse: secret history my ass there is nothing about THAT ON PAGE 12 OR ANY OTHER PAGE!! Naturally i finished it and will publish my essay on its more egregious flaws when I've finished "Punk from Pornby to Hornby"

― mark s, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Right, I've talked to Katie IRL about this, and I think I should offer the following possible explanation for my rant above. In my last couple of years at university I had the misfortune to encounter a fair number of people who regarded the study of the natural sciences to be a waste of time. On several occasions the fact I was doing physics would come up in conversation with people I hadn't met before, and on discovering this the inevitable response was oh, I got to page X in ABHOT and then I got stuck, hee-hee-hee-hee. Maybe I was paranoid, but this response almost always seemed to be used as a way of dismissing the subject I had devoted the best part of four years of my life to studying as a possible topic of conversation because the speaker, as a supposedly highly educated person, didn't grok a particular book that attempted to explain a small part of it. It was like being an English student and having your whole subject brushed off on the basis of the brusher having once read the first few hundred words of a piece of Leavis's criticism and thinking it wasn't much much cop.

― RickyT, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I got a copy of Brief History some years back. One day I will actually open it up.

To Sarah: LOTR = great and scoffers are just that. Ignore them and give it a try, at least. :-)

― Ned Raggett, Saturday, 24 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Blimey I have missed all the fun with my freakishly busy week. thought i'd take a peek this w/e. Sorry Sarah seemed to get all grumped up there. I sympathise with RickyT tho.

I can't recall which pop science writer it was, probs Dawkins (who can be a TWUNT despite being right and married to a time-lady) complaining of something similar, and it goes back to Snow's Two Cultures Essay and it still holds true (= sad), viz that if you confess little undersanding of great art you are IGNORANT, but if you confess little understanding of great science you are a GENTLEMEN.

I got this at college too. It R bollocks.

― Alan at home, Sunday, 25 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

voici le neige d'antan teehee

― mark s, Sunday, 25 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Sarah, I have read A Brief History of Time, the only things that sunk in were that the universe is expanding and it's turtles all the way down, young man. I finished it without any problem, mainly because I didn't worry too much about understanding it. Apparently it helps to know what words like energy mean in a non-Dylan Goes Electric context.

That Cuckoo Clock Wind-Up book sounds great, for lerning fings I recommend LUNDING THE BIOGRAPHY.

― Peter Miller, Monday, 26 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

What is a time-lady? Is she like a time-lord?

― Nick, Monday, 26 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Romana was a Time-Lady.

There is also a bank clerk called Romana in the Nat West on Tottenham Court Road who works on the business desk and can count bundles of tenners in a lightning fast time. I go to her when I have loads of money to cash - effectively penaliising her for being good at her job. This often preys on my mind when I walk back from her branch (which is not my usual one).

― Pete, Monday, 26 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Yes but she might be showing off Pete and not actually counting properly like when I sit at my desk typing very fast but actually getting loads of typos in. Current top typos = name of the company and the words account and accountant which always come out as acocunt and acocuntant. Freudian.

And maybe she fancies you and is attempting to lure you with her fast note flicking?

― Emma, Monday, 26 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Maybe she got that fast at counting tenners because she really likes doing it and practices in her spare time. So by giving her a big wad you'd just be making her happy.

― RickyT, Monday, 26 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Lalla Ward's world of embroidery.

― Alan Trewartha, Monday, 26 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Hawking proved black holes deteriorate. = smart.

― Sterling Clover, Monday, 26 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

one year passes...

Rick's wrath on this thread is classic!

Sarah did read LOTR and look what happened to her, though.

― Tico Tico (Tico Tico), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 14:23 (twenty-two years ago)

She became even more wondrously great than before?

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 15:59 (twenty-two years ago)

She now wears a toque.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 16:01 (twenty-two years ago)

four years pass...

wot an odd title

― kingfish, Wednesday, 15 August 2007 06:07 (eighteen years ago)

Yeah. Ours broke and I have firewood to split. This thread isn't any help at all.

― Kerm, Wednesday, 15 August 2007 06:31 (eighteen years ago)

Strange digression into ABHOT territory - it is a really badly written book (and, much to my annoyance, Hawking insists on writing large numbers in full instead of using exponentials), however. Timothy Ferris The Whole Shebang is much better.

I've always been a bit meh about arty/humanities types who opine "You can't be a proper human being unless you appreciate our stuff" and then turn their noses up at physics and mathematics. I mean, if you're prepared to wade through Derrida, Lacan and the like (even Joyce), a bit of light calculus isn't going to be any kind of problem for you...

― Stone Monkey, Wednesday, 15 August 2007 06:57 (eighteen years ago)

http://www.alleycatscratch.com/lotr/scrapbook/Primmy/pipe_72dpi.jpg

― gershy, Wednesday, 15 August 2007 06:58 (eighteen years ago)

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