ILX, give me self-haircut tips for when I finish this bottle of wine and want to cut my hair later

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I'll need all the help I can get going into this thing

― trigonalmayhem (trigonalmayhem), Tuesday, 16 November 2004 23:09 (nineteen years ago) link

use scissors not pinking shears

― the surface noise (slight return) (electricsound), Tuesday, 16 November 2004 23:12 (nineteen years ago) link

my only tip: do not do this.

― Kenan (kenan), Tuesday, 16 November 2004 23:13 (nineteen years ago) link

check!

also I should note that I've cut my own hair before with ok results
however I was sober on the previous occasions

― trigonalmayhem (trigonalmayhem), Tuesday, 16 November 2004 23:13 (nineteen years ago) link

(oops, xpost on the last one)

And
I do what I want!

/jerry springer

― trigonalmayhem (trigonalmayhem), Tuesday, 16 November 2004 23:14 (nineteen years ago) link

Besides, I honestly have no one to impress until at least January, so if I botch it terribly it will have plenty of time to grow back.

― trigonalmayhem (trigonalmayhem), Tuesday, 16 November 2004 23:14 (nineteen years ago) link

Make sure you have a backup hat.

― Kenan (kenan), Tuesday, 16 November 2004 23:15 (nineteen years ago) link

Do it in the dark so the blood doesn't make you lose heart and waver.

― Michael White (Hereward), Tuesday, 16 November 2004 23:15 (nineteen years ago) link

I don't wear hats : (

but I'm not ashamed of bad hair
I'm not really ashamed of anything

sometimes I walk around with powdered donut stains on my pants
and they look questionably like something else

― trigonalmayhem (trigonalmayhem), Tuesday, 16 November 2004 23:16 (nineteen years ago) link

I have another tip: don't do that either.

― Kenan (kenan), Tuesday, 16 November 2004 23:17 (nineteen years ago) link

use dynamite.

― RJG (RJG), Tuesday, 16 November 2004 23:17 (nineteen years ago) link

Chalk? Baking soda? Crotch dandruff?

2xpost

― Michael White (Hereward), Tuesday, 16 November 2004 23:18 (nineteen years ago) link

blood doesn't scare me!
My nose bleeds all the time!

http://www.trigonalmayhem.com/bloodymess1.jpg

― trigonalmayhem (trigonalmayhem), Tuesday, 16 November 2004 23:18 (nineteen years ago) link

while my hair situation IS getting seriously out of hand, I don't think it's quite to the point of necessitating the use of explosives to clear a path to stylishness

― trigonalmayhem (trigonalmayhem), Tuesday, 16 November 2004 23:19 (nineteen years ago) link

Get clippers and put on the longest extension possible, comb through hair til the tufts even out.

― LSTD (answer) (sexyDancer), Tuesday, 16 November 2004 23:19 (nineteen years ago) link

Mr. White, no I'm speaking of course of the stuff dreams are made of.
Wet dreams, that is.

― trigonalmayhem (trigonalmayhem), Tuesday, 16 November 2004 23:19 (nineteen years ago) link

I don't have clippers or access to any.
In fact, I look awful with very short hair
but it's very long now
and I'd prefer it to be mediumish.

― trigonalmayhem (trigonalmayhem), Tuesday, 16 November 2004 23:20 (nineteen years ago) link

use duct tape as a guide, then.

― LSTD (answer) (sexyDancer), Tuesday, 16 November 2004 23:21 (nineteen years ago) link

how does that work?

― trigonalmayhem (trigonalmayhem), Tuesday, 16 November 2004 23:22 (nineteen years ago) link

use a rifle.

― RJG (RJG), Tuesday, 16 November 2004 23:22 (nineteen years ago) link

explosives and ballistics are hardly necessary for a simple haircutting operation!

What are we here, the US military?

― trigonalmayhem (trigonalmayhem), Tuesday, 16 November 2004 23:24 (nineteen years ago) link

you don't really want advice, it seems.

― RJG (RJG), Tuesday, 16 November 2004 23:27 (nineteen years ago) link

masking tape's probably better. wrap the tape around your hair where you want the cut line to be, then use the edge of the tape as a guide for your scissors. This worked when giving some ex-girlfriend bobs.

― LSTD (answer) (sexyDancer), Tuesday, 16 November 2004 23:27 (nineteen years ago) link

hm, I'll have to see if I can dig up some tape, then.

The biggest fuck-up I usually make is botching the back because I can't tell what I'm doing.

― trigonalmayhem (trigonalmayhem), Tuesday, 16 November 2004 23:30 (nineteen years ago) link

use a cd as a mirror

― LSTD (answer) (sexyDancer), Tuesday, 16 November 2004 23:31 (nineteen years ago) link

woah!
that's definitely something I never thought of!

thanks!

― trigonalmayhem (trigonalmayhem), Tuesday, 16 November 2004 23:33 (nineteen years ago) link

The biggest fuck-up I usually make is botching the back because I can't tell what I'm doing.

LSTD has a point. A mirror might help. Also, dislocate both shoulders for easier access to nape area.

― Michael White (Hereward), Tuesday, 16 November 2004 23:33 (nineteen years ago) link

Use a pudding bowl, masking tape and a spirit level.

― Penelope_111 (Penelope_111), Tuesday, 16 November 2004 23:34 (nineteen years ago) link

Somehow this thread brings to mind, with shocking vividness, the one (and only, thank goodness) photo of me that was once taken on a train to Yerevan, soon after two helpful girls - my then classmates who had never even tried to cut anybody's hair ever before - had nibbled away at my longish coiffure for half an hour, taking turns with the pair of scissors that clearly weren't sharp enough, to boot... (ARRGGG!) This happened many-many moons ago, on our class excursion to Armenia - no wonder when when we reached there, complete strangers wanted to be photographed with me - I really looked exceptionally freakish!

― t\'\'t (t\'\'t), Wednesday, 17 November 2004 00:26 (nineteen years ago) link

*hopes trigonal didn't touch them scissors after all, this particular time*

― t\'\'t (t\'\'t), Wednesday, 17 November 2004 01:41 (nineteen years ago) link

whatever you do, please post pix afterwards. k thnx bye

― JaXoN (JasonD), Wednesday, 17 November 2004 03:12 (nineteen years ago) link

what the fuck happened? where's the hair? where's the blood?

― JaXoN (JasonD), Thursday, 18 November 2004 03:24 (nineteen years ago) link

Yeah I was hoping for photos.

― Trayce (trayce), Thursday, 18 November 2004 03:26 (nineteen years ago) link

Cutting your hair whilst hammered for the benefit of people on the internet C/D

― Adamdrome Crankypants (Autumn Almanac), Thursday, 18 November 2004 04:03 (nineteen years ago) link

OMG MAYBE HE CHOPPED OFF HIS HEAD.

― Trayce (trayce), Thursday, 18 November 2004 04:04 (nineteen years ago) link

use a spoon.

― RJG (RJG), Thursday, 18 November 2004 04:13 (nineteen years ago) link

this is only a semi-related thought, but i just thought i'd share that always shocks (shocks!) me how many people, when using a tiny hand mirror to check out the back of their head do it by holding said tiny mirror up behind their head and angling, looking in the big mirror to see the reflection - which is pretty much fruitless. Put your back to the big mirror and LOOK FROM THE LITTLE ONE, you mentalists!

― Kim (Kim), Thursday, 18 November 2004 04:40 (nineteen years ago) link

use a cd as a mirror

i use those AOL cd-roms that used to come in the mail every few months. and follow Kim's technique, so as not to be a total dumbass.

― &, Thursday, 18 November 2004 05:13 (nineteen years ago) link

do they still sell Flowbees?

yes! http://www.flowbee.com/

http://www.flowbee.com/images/webrickbotflat2%20copy.jpg

― koogs (koogs), Thursday, 18 November 2004 09:32 (nineteen years ago) link

http://www.flowbee.com/images/webrickbotflat2%20copy.jpg

― koogs (koogs), Thursday, 18 November 2004 09:33 (nineteen years ago) link

What the hell is that thing? I cut my own hair this last time because I didn't have time in-between packing to go have it done elsewhere. I was not drunk and my hair is very forgiving, so it more or less looks OK. Not recommended for dead straight hair at all.

― Liz :x (Liz :x), Thursday, 18 November 2004 10:26 (nineteen years ago) link

that thing is basically vacuum-cleaner driven razor. it sucks the hair in and cuts it to a certain (configurable) length. the added advantage, of course, being that it cleans up as it goes.

i wonder if rick also uses it on that mustache?

― koogs (koogs), Thursday, 18 November 2004 10:40 (nineteen years ago) link

use scissors not pinking shears

this is bollocks! I used pinking shears the time before last and intend to use them again this very weekend! if you angle along the hair instead of across you get an instant nonchalantly layered look

then again I plan to have a mohawk by summer so don't really give a shit how it turns out in between times

― kit brash (kit brash), Thursday, 18 November 2004 10:56 (nineteen years ago) link

One of the best haircuts I ever had was self administered while out of my mind on abstinthe and possibly hallucinating! However, it was pretty easy as I was growing out a dye job, so the colour delineations served as a bit of a "cut here" guide.

This Pinking Shears thing is madness. Are you a horse? Or a floral arrangement? I don't think so! Use scissors.

― The Grain of Sand in Lambeth That Satan Cannot Find (kate), Thursday, 18 November 2004 11:43 (nineteen years ago) link

I have hairdresser's pinking shear type scissors (with notches in the blades) which are indeed good for instant layering - twist a hank of hair and savagely chop into it in a few places fairly near the end of the hair - tadaa! NB I REALLY don't recommend this for straight or otherwise fussy hair.

― Liz :x (Liz :x), Thursday, 18 November 2004 11:46 (nineteen years ago) link

I'm growing my hair out a bit. Once it's long enough I need a New Style.

― sgs (sgs), Thursday, 18 November 2004 11:48 (nineteen years ago) link

whoops, I didn't give you a tip. I only really have tips for trimming short hair though, and I'm probably too late anyhow.

― sgs (sgs), Thursday, 18 November 2004 11:49 (nineteen years ago) link

twelve years pass...

Hurricane cabin fever strikes, but tbf there's a low chance of disaster due to baldness/clippers all round

― Gary Synaesthesia (darraghmac), Monday, 16 October 2017 22:37 (six years ago) link

self-haircut tips for when I finish this bottle of wine and want to cut my hair

This is embarrassingly relevant to my interests.

― Le Bateau Ivre, Monday, 16 October 2017 22:39 (six years ago) link

Pro tip: run the clippers over the same area multiple times, especially on the back of your head, to avoid the chance of missing the odd tuft.

― A is for (Aimless), Monday, 16 October 2017 22:41 (six years ago) link

my tip is to give the clippers to a reliable friend and instruct them to hide them until you are sober

― estela, Monday, 16 October 2017 22:47 (six years ago) link

^ taking all the fun out of drunk hair cutting

― A is for (Aimless), Monday, 16 October 2017 22:47 (six years ago) link

No atheists in foxholes and no reliable friends in my apt during hurricanes

― Gary Synaesthesia (darraghmac), Monday, 16 October 2017 22:48 (six years ago) link

She has offered to do the other bits eg nape and behind ears that risky stuff tbfttw

― Gary Synaesthesia (darraghmac), Monday, 16 October 2017 22:49 (six years ago) link

No clippers. And you'll catch that odd tuft the next day, after a shower or w/e. Hand-mirror pointing at wall-mirror in one hand, scissors in the other = let it rip.

― Le Bateau Ivre, Monday, 16 October 2017 22:49 (six years ago) link

An bored snip nua

― Gary Synaesthesia (darraghmac), Monday, 16 October 2017 22:51 (six years ago) link

I used scissors back when I had detectable hair of a visible length and color. Now that I have only minimal remnants adorning the sides of my skull, clippers are the way to go.

― A is for (Aimless), Monday, 16 October 2017 22:54 (six years ago) link

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