Damn, this car is ugly

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http://msnbcmedia.msn.com/i/msnbc/Sections/Newsweek/Components/Photos/mag/040809_Issue/040731_roadtest_hd.jpg

AND I'M DRIVING IT.

My truck got wrecked yesterday, four days before my wedding. Now I have this thing that will be my bride's horse-and-carriage on Saturday night. It's called a Magnum which of course hasn't been the cause of some rude jokes here at work.

Seriously, not only is it ugly, but it gets lousy gas milage, you can't see anything four feet away from your back bumper, and the windows are real skinny. I feel like I'm inside a tank, and I can't even see the traffic lights through the windsheild unless I crouch down in my seat (like a tank-driver).

Besides, this thing is so not my style. Ever got the wrong car from the rental company? (The car-hire place, if you will, for you people who don't speak Amuriken.)

― Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Thursday, 27 January 2005 00:40 (twenty-one years ago)

That car does look terrible. Who makes that piece of crap?

― Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Thursday, 27 January 2005 00:44 (twenty-one years ago)

rental company????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

― RJG (RJG), Thursday, 27 January 2005 00:45 (twenty-one years ago)

That would be a DODGE Magnum. I got rams all over my dash.

― Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Thursday, 27 January 2005 00:55 (twenty-one years ago)

It looks like a fuckin' hearse.
Two up front, three in the back and one in the cooler.

― Forksclovetofu (Forksclovetofu), Thursday, 27 January 2005 00:56 (twenty-one years ago)

Ahhh Dodge, Dodge, whatever happened to your innate sense of style?

― papa november (papa november), Thursday, 27 January 2005 00:58 (twenty-one years ago)

Every time I see one of those it makes me want to retch. Be glad it's temporary. Spying people who have actually BOUGHT them brings back all the memories from when I was introduced to the M16 that one sunny morning in Texas.

― TOMBOT, Thursday, 27 January 2005 00:58 (twenty-one years ago)

looks like the Hummer of station wagons

― eman (eman), Thursday, 27 January 2005 01:03 (twenty-one years ago)

Exactly. It's the first macho station wagon! But affordable.

― nickn (nickn), Thursday, 27 January 2005 01:06 (twenty-one years ago)

I don't know how anybody can buy something from a company called 'Dodge'. It just seems overly stupid to me.

― Andrew (enneff), Thursday, 27 January 2005 01:07 (twenty-one years ago)

I can't believe someone would buy this car. It's like the worst of an SUV, the worst of a compact car, the worst of a sports car, the worst of a station wagon...

It has white speedometers and tachometers, like its bitch cousin, the PT Cruiser. STOP IT, DODGE. STOP IT NOW.

If driving something that looks like a tongue depressant made it with a shoe horn is considered macho, then you call me Liza.

― Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Thursday, 27 January 2005 01:09 (twenty-one years ago)

"That thing got a hemi???"

― eman (eman), Thursday, 27 January 2005 01:17 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.allpar.com/images/magnum/hemi-engine.jpg

The only thing missing are the streamers hanging off the side mirrors.

― Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Thursday, 27 January 2005 01:28 (twenty-one years ago)

I have to say, if I wanted an SUV (I don't) and the wife insisted on a station wagon (I'm not married) that Dodge would be an acceptable vehicle. This is without having sat in one, much less driven one. I don't think it that bad looking for the niche it fills.

― nickn (nickn), Thursday, 27 January 2005 07:08 (twenty-one years ago)

I don't know how anybody can buy something from a company called 'Dodge'. It just seems overly stupid to me.

the dodge viper was my favourite car on The Need For Speed :(

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 27 January 2005 10:23 (twenty-one years ago)

and the neon has a really huggable steering wheel

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 27 January 2005 10:25 (twenty-one years ago)

I understood "rental company" but you'll have to remind me what a station wagon is again. It sounds like something from the 1800s.

― Steve.n. (sjkirk), Thursday, 27 January 2005 15:53 (twenty-one years ago)

"station wagon" = "estate car" or "shooting brake" if yr feeling posh.

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Thursday, 27 January 2005 15:56 (twenty-one years ago)

Can we go back to the part where you said you were going to drive your new bride off into the sunset in a truck?

― The Bourgeois Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 27 January 2005 15:59 (twenty-one years ago)

It does have a Hemi.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Thursday, 27 January 2005 15:59 (twenty-one years ago)

These are popular, I see them all the time around here (the suburbs). The weird suburbanites say, "Hey, I'm not driving an SUV." But dude, it's a car as UNGAINLY as an SUV. There's another company making a simialar one of these, too. The Chrysler Pacifica: http://www.chrysler.com/pacifica/img/floating_vehicle.jpg

― mcd (mcd), Thursday, 27 January 2005 16:04 (twenty-one years ago)

That ride just needs pimpin'

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v215/lynskey/PIMPCAR.jpg

― why must we cut onions? (Lynskey), Thursday, 27 January 2005 16:15 (twenty-one years ago)

Awesome, lynskey.

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Thursday, 27 January 2005 16:16 (twenty-one years ago)

There's another company making a simialar one of these, too. The Chrysler Pacifica:

chrysler is basically the same company as dodge, you know...

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 27 January 2005 16:31 (twenty-one years ago)

This is the same Dodge that makes the gorgeous Viper right?

― Onimo (GerryNemo), Thursday, 27 January 2005 16:40 (twenty-one years ago)

yes

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 27 January 2005 16:41 (twenty-one years ago)

http://sjhigh.nbed.nb.ca/phinney/Images/BBT%20Sample%20Images/Middle%20Aged%20Orgin.png
I LOVE it! It's a station wagon, but it's .. .. (ballsy! Can I say that?)

― Ken Mecklenburg (Dave225), Thursday, 27 January 2005 16:42 (twenty-one years ago)

Can we go back to the part where you said you were going to drive your new bride off into the sunset in a truck?

Yeah, I know. I was really hoping that an actual horse and carriage would just appear out of nowhere. Maybe I need to find some mice and pumpkins.

My bride-to-be and I have the same common of trait of just disappearing at a party, taking off through a side door instead of milling around, saying goodbye to each and everyone. Maybe we'll do that so no one will see us driving off in that fire engine.

Ideas for reception getaways are also welcome on this thread. Limousines are too goofy and a tandem bicycle will seem a bit cheap.

― Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Thursday, 27 January 2005 17:17 (twenty-one years ago)

whenever I see a Hummer limousine, a small part of me hopes a roadside bomb is nearby waiting for it.

― eman (eman), Thursday, 27 January 2005 17:24 (twenty-one years ago)

it sounds horrible, I know, but...
http://sportsmed.starwave.com/i/magazine/new/hummer_limo.jpg

― eman (eman), Thursday, 27 January 2005 17:26 (twenty-one years ago)

Haha um, you are somewhat limited by timeframe, yes? Also a limo is goofier than a truck?

(I'm trying to nail down mindset/tastes here. You mentioned horse-and-carriage; you're in a "warm" climate?)

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 27 January 2005 17:30 (twenty-one years ago)

Very limited by timeframe. Gametime temperature for Saturday night will be in the forties. I don't think that I can hire a horse-and-carriage in Little Rock. It might get run over by that Hummer limo up there.

It just seems silly to me to rent a damn limo to drive us six blocks to the hotel. Maybe I was the wrong person to plan this wedding.

Anyway, back on topic, the rental place say that they're going to take back the Cock Mobile because I hate it so much. I mean, damn.

― Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Thursday, 27 January 2005 18:14 (twenty-one years ago)

Tell them you're getting married on Saturday and they might upgrade you to the swankest car on their lot!

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 27 January 2005 18:22 (twenty-one years ago)

Not a bad idea, Dan. I appreciate the help.

It's not a big deal to me just as long as it doesn't look like this:

http://plus.maths.org/issue3/marriage/car.jpg

― Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Thursday, 27 January 2005 18:28 (twenty-one years ago)

Definitely play the marriage card.

― mcd (mcd), Thursday, 27 January 2005 18:30 (twenty-one years ago)

That new Dodge "Charger" is based on this fugly Magnum and it's a travesty to use that name. Not convinced on the 300, but it's kinda pimp, especially if the wheels are done right. Not for me though.

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Thursday, 27 January 2005 18:33 (twenty-one years ago)

I like the 300, sort of. Not enough to buy it, but it's okay.

― Leon the Fatboy (Ex Leon), Thursday, 27 January 2005 18:38 (twenty-one years ago)

I feel the same way, only I stopped liking it quite as much when I found out it was automatic only.

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 27 January 2005 18:46 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.dodge.com/autoshow/img/gallery/main/charger/image_02.jpg vs http://www.allpar.com/model/images/charger.jpg

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Thursday, 27 January 2005 18:47 (twenty-one years ago)

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