I need a good title for a Western

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Come on, ILXors, I know you can come up with something.

― Riot Gear! (Gear!), Thursday, 27 January 2005 00:54 (twenty-one years ago)

Bounty in BLOOD

― Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Thursday, 27 January 2005 00:56 (twenty-one years ago)

When Rustlers Come A-Courtin'
Part II: The Buggering

― kingfish (Kingfish), Thursday, 27 January 2005 00:58 (twenty-one years ago)

Bounty in BLOOD 2: The Legend of Curly's Gold

― Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Thursday, 27 January 2005 01:00 (twenty-one years ago)

Just rolls off the tongue don't it?

― Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Thursday, 27 January 2005 01:02 (twenty-one years ago)

keep 'em coming, these are great!

― Riot Gear! (Gear!), Thursday, 27 January 2005 01:02 (twenty-one years ago)

Dust Face

― TOMBOT, Thursday, 27 January 2005 01:03 (twenty-one years ago)

The Unforbidden
Slickhound Gun Hotel
Mad Beatle McCartney

― Autumn Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Thursday, 27 January 2005 01:03 (twenty-one years ago)

Death Came A Ridin'
Six Shooters At Dawn
Logan
Sherrif Bo Laramie
Bad Day At Dry Gulch

― Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Thursday, 27 January 2005 01:07 (twenty-one years ago)

Also any of these can be made into a sequel by adding 2: The Legend of Curly's Gold to the end.

― Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Thursday, 27 January 2005 01:08 (twenty-one years ago)

Mad Beatle McCartney

ho ho ho

Lil' Prissy Jim McGiddins, The Sassiest Cowpoke This Side of the Pocanos

Dry Day at Bad Gulch

Homer the Avenging Rider Rides to Avenge...AGAIN!

― kingfish (Kingfish), Thursday, 27 January 2005 01:09 (twenty-one years ago)

Hobson's Bluff
The Untamed

― Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Thursday, 27 January 2005 01:10 (twenty-one years ago)

Tumbleweed Terry

― charleston charge (chaki), Thursday, 27 January 2005 01:11 (twenty-one years ago)

Mixup at Mesquite

― gabbneb (gabbneb), Thursday, 27 January 2005 01:11 (twenty-one years ago)

Duel in Desert
Hell Up in Houston
Black Jack (the token blacksploitation westerns)

― Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Thursday, 27 January 2005 01:13 (twenty-one years ago)

Tombstone Topping

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Thursday, 27 January 2005 01:13 (twenty-one years ago)

Wow westerns are so easy to name.

― Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Thursday, 27 January 2005 01:13 (twenty-one years ago)

Gunslinger Roland to the Black Tower Came

― kingfish (Kingfish), Thursday, 27 January 2005 01:14 (twenty-one years ago)

Showdown at Cactus Peak

― Riot Gear! (Gear!), Thursday, 27 January 2005 01:15 (twenty-one years ago)

Instant Injuns
Outlawin'

― charleston charge (chaki), Thursday, 27 January 2005 01:15 (twenty-one years ago)

A Laurel, and Hearty Handshake

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Thursday, 27 January 2005 01:16 (twenty-one years ago)

Motherlode
The Mickerson Gang
Funeral at Lonesome Creek
Ride of the Damned

― Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Thursday, 27 January 2005 01:17 (twenty-one years ago)

Rusty Nails at Rusty Creek
A Wagon Wheel Too Far
If This Be Jaundice
Peyote Pajamas

heh. We should try to come up with Westerns that sound like Star Trek episodes

― kingfish (Kingfish), Thursday, 27 January 2005 01:23 (twenty-one years ago)

when dinosaurs ruled the west

― elwisty (elwisty), Thursday, 27 January 2005 01:24 (twenty-one years ago)

here's the basic story of the tale:

- marshall of a quiet town in secluded valley
- violent bank wagon massacre near town
- railroad company says it can't put rail line through town because of available terrain being shit, while good terrain blocked by landowners
- more violence ensues

it all ties together in some roundabout way

― Riot Gear! (Gear!), Thursday, 27 January 2005 01:30 (twenty-one years ago)

THE ROUNDABOUT

― RJG (RJG), Thursday, 27 January 2005 01:32 (twenty-one years ago)

Railroad Ties, Stacked Together in a Roundabout Way

― kingfish (Kingfish), Thursday, 27 January 2005 01:34 (twenty-one years ago)

You Can't Take On the Railroad, Marshall Charlie Brown

― kingfish (Kingfish), Thursday, 27 January 2005 01:34 (twenty-one years ago)

Eminent Domain

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Thursday, 27 January 2005 01:36 (twenty-one years ago)

Train Trouble

― charleston charge (chaki), Thursday, 27 January 2005 01:36 (twenty-one years ago)

Fatal Tracks

― Riot Gear! (Gear!), Thursday, 27 January 2005 01:37 (twenty-one years ago)

Manifest Destiny's Child

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Thursday, 27 January 2005 01:42 (twenty-one years ago)

What Do You Want On Your Tombstone?

― kingfish (Kingfish), Thursday, 27 January 2005 01:42 (twenty-one years ago)

when dinosaurs ruled the west

- marshall of a quiet town in secluded valley
- violent velociraptor massacre near town
- railroad company says it can't put rail line through town because of available terrain being full of velociraptors, while good terrain blocked by landowners
- landowners bring in tyranosaurus from utah
- tyranosaurus eats velociraptors
the end
director; mike leigh
starring; nobukazu takemura (marshall), dick cheney (evil landowner), su pollard (madam with heart of gold), ken barlow (william roache)
music; billy bragg and wilco feat kenzie

― elwisty (elwisty), Thursday, 27 January 2005 01:43 (twenty-one years ago)

Sheriff Shithead and the Butthole Banditos
Deputy Dicksuck and the Tijuana Knobgobblers

― Remy (x Jeremy), Thursday, 27 January 2005 01:45 (twenty-one years ago)

More western porn:

The Naked Spa

― Frogman Henry, Thursday, 27 January 2005 02:00 (twenty-one years ago)

Pardon Me, Gringo, But Watch Your Back While You Pray or I'll Shoot You Before You Even Have a Chance to Dig Your Grave!

― Pangolino again, Thursday, 27 January 2005 02:08 (twenty-one years ago)

The Loco Locomotive Louts

― Riot Gear! (Gear!), Thursday, 27 January 2005 02:11 (twenty-one years ago)

Blood on the Tracks

― Curious George Rides a Republican (Rock Hardy), Thursday, 27 January 2005 02:22 (twenty-one years ago)

The Man Who Forgot to Die

― Pangolino again, Thursday, 27 January 2005 02:56 (twenty-one years ago)

fuckheads of the sage

― s1ocki (slutsky), Thursday, 27 January 2005 02:58 (twenty-one years ago)

You Like Bullets? Well, Have Some More!

― Pangolino again, Thursday, 27 January 2005 03:07 (twenty-one years ago)

The Big Shootdown

― Pangolino again, Thursday, 27 January 2005 03:09 (twenty-one years ago)

You Take the Lead - I'll Take the Gold

― Pangolino again, Thursday, 27 January 2005 03:15 (twenty-one years ago)

Draining Ogallala

― gabbneb (gabbneb), Thursday, 27 January 2005 03:16 (twenty-one years ago)

Shit Creek

― Pangolino again, Thursday, 27 January 2005 03:16 (twenty-one years ago)

Last Night They Moved the River

― gabbneb (gabbneb), Thursday, 27 January 2005 03:17 (twenty-one years ago)

The Quick and the Damned.

The Tragic Roundabout.

― Billy Dods (Billy Dods), Thursday, 27 January 2005 03:18 (twenty-one years ago)

A Head Full of Wishes, A Mouth Full of Sand

― Pangolino again, Thursday, 27 January 2005 03:19 (twenty-one years ago)

Death Needs Your Horse

― Pangolino again, Thursday, 27 January 2005 03:22 (twenty-one years ago)

Skipping 27 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

Carry On Cowboy 2: The Legend of The Rumpo Kid's Gold
Rio Rio Dance Across the Rio Grande
Debbie Does Deadwood

― robster (robster), Thursday, 27 January 2005 14:18 (twenty-one years ago)

The Town That Died of Homoerotica

― Dadaismus (Dada), Thursday, 27 January 2005 14:38 (twenty-one years ago)

Cowboy/Indian Angst III
Mexican/Cowboy Conflict V
Ranch Disupute XIII
This Town Ain't Big Enough For The Both Us Style Animosity II

― Jarlr'mai (jarlrmai), Thursday, 27 January 2005 14:55 (twenty-one years ago)

Grand Theft Conestoga

― jocelyn (Jocelyn), Thursday, 27 January 2005 14:57 (twenty-one years ago)

Frontier! (it has to have the exclamation point to work)
Round Up
The Rollicking Tale of Marshall Hezekiah Washington and His Adventures In Boot Valley
Dust Storm Riders

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Thursday, 27 January 2005 15:16 (twenty-one years ago)

Johnny Garlic and Jimmy Beans

― Pangolino again, Thursday, 27 January 2005 15:22 (twenty-one years ago)

Chicks and Geese and Ducks Better Scurry Before Death

― jocelyn (Jocelyn), Thursday, 27 January 2005 15:26 (twenty-one years ago)

Are You Smooth Enough For An Ice Cold Colt .45?

― Pangolino again, Thursday, 27 January 2005 15:26 (twenty-one years ago)

Guntown: Town Of The Gun
I Piss On Your Muchacho
The Last Great Cul-De-Sac
The Marseillaise Kid
The Marseillaise Kid And His Little Lady
A Very Marseillaise Kid And His Little Lady Christmas
Carry On Feeding The Vultures
Angryville

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Thursday, 27 January 2005 15:28 (twenty-one years ago)

The Shootout That Almost Just Happened

― Jarlr'mai (jarlrmai), Thursday, 27 January 2005 15:31 (twenty-one years ago)

Boy it's hot, why the fuck did me move here?

― Jarlr'mai (jarlrmai), Thursday, 27 January 2005 15:32 (twenty-one years ago)

Shoot-Bang Pow-Pow! (starring Joe Brown)
The Lady Is A Nun
The Lady Is No Nun
Lonesome Banjo
Satan Rides Side-Saddle

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Thursday, 27 January 2005 15:35 (twenty-one years ago)

I Couldn't Die... The Graves Were Full!

― Pangolino again, Thursday, 27 January 2005 15:36 (twenty-one years ago)

She'll Be Riding Six White Horses When She Comes
Strange Nuggets In Grandpa's Pan
You Ain't Nuthin' But A Fule On A Mule
Fuck Washing A Ten-Gallon Hat

― NickB (NickB), Thursday, 27 January 2005 15:37 (twenty-one years ago)

Delaware Plains Hustler
No Sleep Before Death
The Outside-Of-The-Laws
Ernest Saves Bastard Gulch
The Devil Named Him McClanahan
Lansbury's Ridge
Incident At Newport (Germany: The Newport Incident)

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Thursday, 27 January 2005 15:44 (twenty-one years ago)

¡Consiga de mí, stúpidos!

― Pangolino again, Thursday, 27 January 2005 15:47 (twenty-one years ago)

I'd Explain It Better... With Bullets!

― Pangolino again, Thursday, 27 January 2005 16:22 (twenty-one years ago)

Ride Him, Cowboy!
She Wore a Yellow Jacket
Mustang Sally
The Vampire Wore a Six-Gun
Owl Shit Bridge

― Hey Jude, Thursday, 27 January 2005 22:53 (twenty-one years ago)

Ally Ho - The Arse That Would Not Die

― Queen Giddy'up bitch, Thursday, 27 January 2005 22:59 (twenty-one years ago)

Must Be Beans Night Again
Los Chi-Chis De la Puta y El Marshall Muscular
Amigos, Amigos, Amigos
Annie Oakley's Trick with The Ping-Pong Balls

― kingfish (Kingfish), Thursday, 27 January 2005 23:12 (twenty-one years ago)

Seven Bullets for the Mule Man
Last Whisky to Waco
Ten Gallon Hat Bastard

― Earl Nash (earlnash), Friday, 28 January 2005 04:18 (twenty-one years ago)

Showdown at Gucci Gulch

― gabbneb (gabbneb), Friday, 28 January 2005 04:18 (twenty-one years ago)

Bullets Aint No Excuse

― Earl Nash (earlnash), Friday, 28 January 2005 04:20 (twenty-one years ago)

They Cut Fences, Don't They?

― gabbneb (gabbneb), Friday, 28 January 2005 04:21 (twenty-one years ago)

Tight Spot at Latigo Notch

― gabbneb (gabbneb), Friday, 28 January 2005 04:27 (twenty-one years ago)

glory hole saloon

― dave q (listerine), Friday, 28 January 2005 04:39 (twenty-one years ago)

I am a douchebag

― Westernizer, Friday, 28 January 2005 05:56 (twenty-one years ago)

― Riot Gear! (Gear!), Thursday, 3 February 2005 19:10 (twenty-one years ago)

Moustache Rider

― Pangolino again, Thursday, 3 February 2005 20:55 (twenty-one years ago)

The Tracks Of My Tears
Depot A-Go-Go
She Won't Be Sold
You Die Now
The Long Long Shadow
Circle Circle Bar Bar
Circle Circle Bar Bar 2: Shots Over Cootie Gulch

― Casuistry (Chris P), Thursday, 3 February 2005 22:54 (twenty-one years ago)

Chris, how about one little tweak: The Train Tracks of My Tears

― Curious George Rides a Republican (Rock Hardy), Thursday, 3 February 2005 23:09 (twenty-one years ago)

Well, if you want to make it explicit, sure.

― Casuistry (Chris P), Thursday, 3 February 2005 23:13 (twenty-one years ago)

Butting out now.

― Curious George Rides a Republican (Rock Hardy), Thursday, 3 February 2005 23:18 (twenty-one years ago)

The Relentless Posse 2: Skidmarks On Their Saddles
Showdown at Cactus Patch Ranch
Ain't no Feminine Hygeine Products at the Tradin' Post Again
Barbed Wire and Bloody Chaps
You'll Git Yours at High Noon, Bitch
Stagecoach to Hell
Pony Express Riders vs. the Killer Mexican Vampires of Doom

― -rainbow bum- (-rainbow bum-), Thursday, 3 February 2005 23:23 (twenty-one years ago)

In my western I have a creek named "Raggett Creek" and a villainous banker named "Hertz". The amoral, hellish town it takes place in is located in Texas and is called "Elks". It's filled with mercenaries prone to dueling in the streets and throwing hand shapes in an aggressive manner. Also, there are some horses and a band of outlaws on the periphery of the town referred to in hushed tone as "The Noise Bandits". Lots of violence, no sex, despite the hot women.

― Riot Gear! (Gear!), Friday, 4 February 2005 00:39 (twenty-one years ago)

The Shootout at Fanny Quim's farm

― Michael White (Hereward), Friday, 4 February 2005 00:44 (twenty-one years ago)

The Most Perfectly-Sculpted Ass Ever, and the Hero That Rode In On It

― Kingfish MuffMiner 2049er (Kingfish), Friday, 4 February 2005 01:08 (twenty-one years ago)

which ILXors' names would fit these characters:

corrupt mayor
honorable sheriff/ex-outlaw
young deputy
hot schoolteacher
hot schoolteacher's doomed rancher father
honorable outlaw
honorable outlaw's partner
sleazy hired killer
honorable outlaws' shady partner-in-crime

― Riot Gear! (Gear!), Friday, 4 February 2005 01:12 (twenty-one years ago)

*ahem*

― KINGFISH dammit (Kingfish), Friday, 4 February 2005 01:23 (twenty-one years ago)

I want an exit line. I figure it's taken for granted that I'll be a character who dies, and really I guess I'd prefer that, but I don't want to doe in some random hail of bullets without so much as a gasp. I want to be able to say something like, "I dun tol' you that whore was trouble."

― Pears can just fuck right off. (kenan), Friday, 4 February 2005 01:28 (twenty-one years ago)

oh, wait. You said no sex. Still, I think your screenplay could only benefit from a whore with a heart of gold.

― Pears can just fuck right off. (kenan), Friday, 4 February 2005 01:32 (twenty-one years ago)

there do need to be more female characters, I suppose. Okay, bring on the whore.

― Riot Gear! (Gear!), Friday, 4 February 2005 01:40 (twenty-one years ago)

I think prudence dictates that the whore should cast herself in the part.

― Pears can just fuck right off. (kenan), Friday, 4 February 2005 02:08 (twenty-one years ago)

Surely the sleazy hired killer is a woman?

Call it Lady Gunman.

― Casuistry (Chris P), Friday, 4 February 2005 03:04 (twenty-one years ago)

The Loco Motive

― The Ballad of El Janko (JasonD), Friday, 4 February 2005 04:17 (twenty-one years ago)

Duders, I am totally the hot schoolteacher.

Also. Fuckin', I know real cowboy songs from a show I did in 5th grade.

― Remy (x Jeremy), Friday, 4 February 2005 05:03 (twenty-one years ago)

I think Maria Bello should be the schoolteacher.

― Riot Gear! (Gear!), Friday, 4 February 2005 05:07 (twenty-one years ago)

Name the hot schoolteacher "Texas Sam", DUH

― Kingfish MuffMiner 2049er (Kingfish), Friday, 4 February 2005 05:08 (twenty-one years ago)

The Unpursued

The Man Who Once Served Liberty Valance a Whiskey Sour

Showdown at Housing Tract No. 246

― Amateur(ist) (Amateur(ist)), Friday, 4 February 2005 05:55 (twenty-one years ago)

can I be the second-most-hot screenwriting ex-schoolteaching ex-roadie for Naughty by Nature? Also: this last bit is true, but I don't think I've ever said it on here before.

― Remy (x Jeremy), Friday, 4 February 2005 06:11 (twenty-one years ago)

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