The Bank - the shit that happens there...

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I was at the bank today, and some guy came in to cash a check. I didn't get to hear how much it was for ... But the teller told him he'd have to pay an $8 fee (I know, excessive) because he didn't have an account there. He got all pissed off about it, and the teller said, "where is your bank" .. and he said he didn't have one. So she asked him if he'd like to open an account, and save the $8 fee. He was a real dick about it .. "Are you kidding? You just said you were going to charge me $8, and now you think I'm going to open an account with you?" .. like he was offended that he was treated so rudely, getting charged for services, and then they had the audacity to ask him to be a customer... (BTW, absolutely no fees if you open an account - no minimum balance either..)

And then he said, "just cash the check" .. so he was offended by the fee, but not enough to go to another bank.

― dave225 (Dave225), Thursday, 27 January 2005 19:11 (twenty-one years ago)

jesus dave, thats harrowing, are you alright?

― mark p (Mark P), Thursday, 27 January 2005 19:14 (twenty-one years ago)

Your Larry David moments (Warning! Blandness!)

― RJG (RJG), Thursday, 27 January 2005 19:15 (twenty-one years ago)

hahahaha

― Pears can just fuck right off. (kenan), Thursday, 27 January 2005 19:15 (twenty-one years ago)

maybe the check he was cashing was from that bank. if so, charging a fee is retarded.

― Emilymv (Emilymv), Thursday, 27 January 2005 19:16 (twenty-one years ago)

Your story needs a new ending.

"So then he pulls out a gun, and says, 'Fuck this stupid world!' and makes a technicolor brain painting all over the wall."

― Pears can just fuck right off. (kenan), Thursday, 27 January 2005 19:16 (twenty-one years ago)

i mean, it was FREE to open an account.

why didn't he just listen? why didn't he?

― mark p (Mark P), Thursday, 27 January 2005 19:16 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm still shaking from the whole ordeal...

I was going to post it as a LArry David Moment, but it was his Larry David moment, not mine.

― dave225 (Dave225), Thursday, 27 January 2005 19:19 (twenty-one years ago)

it could have been yours, in the way mark p says.

― RJG (RJG), Thursday, 27 January 2005 19:24 (twenty-one years ago)

this is actually a ridiculous new practice (new as in I don't think they did this shit when I was a kid, because I used to get checks for my birthday from people from banks, and I'd go to the bank it was written from, and they'd cash it, no problem. But I don't think many places will do that now). See also: overdraft fees when you have multiple accounts (like a savings account) and they charge you $22 rather than just take it from your savings. Fuckers.

― kyle (akmonday), Thursday, 27 January 2005 19:25 (twenty-one years ago)

I like the bank. They always have high ceilings.

― Huk-L, Thursday, 27 January 2005 19:28 (twenty-one years ago)

And this is important, because I'm 6'11".

― Huk-L, Thursday, 27 January 2005 19:28 (twenty-one years ago)

Disclaimer: If you are a bank teller or know someone who is, sorry. But...

Fuck bank tellers. Why do they have this incredibly self-important air about them? Look, you have a job that anyone with a high school diploma can get. Don't talk down to me because I don't know some ridiculous fucking policy your bank has. I don't care. I just want my fucking money. Maybe this is just my bank, but they are fucking dicks. I got direct deposit and a debit/atm card just so I didn't have to talk to these fuckers anymore.

― matttt (chachee), Thursday, 27 January 2005 19:28 (twenty-one years ago)

I say "fuck" a lot.

― matttt (chachee), Thursday, 27 January 2005 19:29 (twenty-one years ago)

That's why they hate you, you're killing their jobs.

xpost

― Huk-L, Thursday, 27 January 2005 19:29 (twenty-one years ago)

People who expect banks to cash their checks for them for FREE are the same people who cut in front of everyone in line at the supermarket because they need change for a dollar.

― Site Admistrator (deangulberry), Thursday, 27 January 2005 19:30 (twenty-one years ago)

But the bank makes a profit cashing people's checks and dispensing change... How? VOLUME!

― dave225 (Dave225), Thursday, 27 January 2005 19:38 (twenty-one years ago)

Remember the Victoria Jackson-era SNL Commercial about the bank that just gives changes. "That's all we do."

― Huk-L, Thursday, 27 January 2005 19:39 (twenty-one years ago)

How do they make a profit on that transaction, exactly? (xp)

― Site Admistrator (deangulberry), Thursday, 27 January 2005 19:40 (twenty-one years ago)

"He asked for change for $20 - A ten, two fives, and five singles. Or computers picked up the error right away..."

― dave225 (Dave225), Thursday, 27 January 2005 19:41 (twenty-one years ago)

OUR, fuck.

― dave225 (Dave225), Thursday, 27 January 2005 19:42 (twenty-one years ago)

So ... how does the bank make a profit on checks cashes by people who don't have accounts?

― Site Admistrator (deangulberry), Thursday, 27 January 2005 19:52 (twenty-one years ago)

*cashed

― Site Admistrator (deangulberry), Thursday, 27 January 2005 19:52 (twenty-one years ago)

i was scolded by a teenaged bank teller last week for taking more than one dum dum from the basket. after she snottily said 'those are for children' i grabbed five more. stupid whore!

― Emilymv (Emilymv), Thursday, 27 January 2005 19:58 (twenty-one years ago)

transaction fees work in mysterious ways.

― hstencil (hstencil), Thursday, 27 January 2005 19:59 (twenty-one years ago)

Do you live in Narnia? What the hell is a dum dum?

― Huk-L, Thursday, 27 January 2005 20:00 (twenty-one years ago)

its a sucker. or lollipop. they are tiny and really you can't eat just one.

― Emilymv (Emilymv), Thursday, 27 January 2005 20:01 (twenty-one years ago)

Emily! You've pretty much robbed a bank now!

― Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Thursday, 27 January 2005 20:01 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.theonlinecandyshop.com/ProductImages/dumdumpops.jpg

― Doobie Keebler (Charles McCain), Thursday, 27 January 2005 20:02 (twenty-one years ago)

x-post

― Doobie Keebler (Charles McCain), Thursday, 27 January 2005 20:02 (twenty-one years ago)

And the bank just gives these away? You do live in Narnia, don't you?

― Huk-L, Thursday, 27 January 2005 20:02 (twenty-one years ago)

i wish dum dums were our national currency. i think that watermelon would be the hundred dollar bill and root beer would be the one dollar bill. and chocolate the penny.

yes, most banks do anyway. also, they give away dog biscuits.

― Emilymv (Emilymv), Thursday, 27 January 2005 20:04 (twenty-one years ago)

That can be the half-penny.

― Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Thursday, 27 January 2005 20:06 (twenty-one years ago)

maybe they give out candy and dog biscuits in your homestyle country banks, in our big metropolitan banks they give you a kick in the groin and charge you a screaming out loud fee

― kyle (akmonday), Thursday, 27 January 2005 20:07 (twenty-one years ago)

LAFF

― Reviewer: Sir Potomus (Washington, DC) - See all my reviews (ex machina), Thursday, 27 January 2005 20:11 (twenty-one years ago)

are you kidding? i thought all banks in the u.s. gave out candy! i guess i do lead a charmed life.

― Emilymv (Emilymv), Thursday, 27 January 2005 20:15 (twenty-one years ago)

I had a friend that worked at a coffee shop and her boss asked her to make a run to the bank for somethingerother. She wrote out a letter for her to give to the teller detailing what she needed. When my friend reaches the teller, whom she was familiar with from being a regular, she hands her the note and jokingly remarks "Jeez, I feel like I'm robbing the place."

The teller opens the cash drawer and throws her hands up in the air. Needless to say she did not get the joke and my friend had a lot of explaining to do. She was also banned from the bank for joking about robbing the place. Apparently they considered charging her too (as the cops were called immediately).

― Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Thursday, 27 January 2005 20:18 (twenty-one years ago)

My bank has small, flat lollies, plus lifesavers AND creamsavers!

So now you know why Houston is so fat.

― Doobie Keebler (Charles McCain), Thursday, 27 January 2005 20:19 (twenty-one years ago)

"terrorism" (xp)

― Site Admistrator (deangulberry), Thursday, 27 January 2005 20:20 (twenty-one years ago)

My bank does not give out candy.

― adam.r.l. (nordicskilla), Thursday, 27 January 2005 20:21 (twenty-one years ago)

Okay, Thermo's freind obviously went to the First National Colossal Dumbass Bank.

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 27 January 2005 20:25 (twenty-one years ago)

One of the banks in New Orleans used to have people lining up in the morning to get their free coffee (and then go to work without doing any banking, fuck that just give us the coffee), and then one Saturday they switched brands to some cheap sawdust-tasting shit and put a canister of coffeemate out instead of the pitcher of cream.

Of course, now that we've all stopped going, they've probably switched it back, the bastards.

But yeah, dude, everybody has lollipops. No wonder you city mice are so pissy, your blood sugar is low.

― Tep (ktepi), Thursday, 27 January 2005 20:25 (twenty-one years ago)

In the defense of tellers, most are underpaid and would rather be doing something else. Professionally.

― Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Thursday, 27 January 2005 20:26 (twenty-one years ago)

"In the defense of tellers, most are underpaid and would rather be doing something else. Professionally."

So? I would rather be a professional kicking it expert. That doesn't mean I get to be a dick all the time.

― matttt (chachee), Thursday, 27 January 2005 20:29 (twenty-one years ago)

Tellers. I went in to get something notarized once, and the teller told me that I'd have to come back another time because they were really busy and the notary couldn't help me. I said "Too busy to help a customer?" I'll wait my turn in line, but fuck me if she's too busy to help me. (Turned out, the notary was very pleasant.. It was only the idiot teller that didn't understand the what 'service industry' implied.)

― dave225 (Dave225), Thursday, 27 January 2005 20:31 (twenty-one years ago)

More Food Fun:

Sometime last year I had to talk to a rep on a Saturday morning. So I get to the bank and discover that one of the employees was having conducting a small school bakesale RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE LOBBY!

― Doobie Keebler (Charles McCain), Thursday, 27 January 2005 20:32 (twenty-one years ago)

actually the tellers at one particular branch of my bank are great and very friendly and nice and it's been the same people in there for like four years and they like me. the other are all evil dumbasses.

― kyle (akmonday), Thursday, 27 January 2005 20:34 (twenty-one years ago)

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