Can We Make Every Movie That TomCruise Is In Better By Giving His Roles To Other People?

Where did his "insufferable beatnik poet" phase start? Hot Shots? Men At Work? PART DEUX???

"..Teacher, teacher, I don't understand,
You tell me it's like the back of my hand.
Should I play guitar and join the band?
Or head to the beach and walk in the sand?
Oh, teacher, teacher, I don't understand...
... Teacher, teacher, the years have passed,
I never thought it would go so fast,
The things I learned they didn't last.
I'm headin' to sea as I raise the mast.
Oh, teacher, teacher, I'm a peace of your past."

His Spin City work didn't do much for me, but he is gold in Being John Malkovich (w/ and w/out hair).

PS - The Tom Cruise, I don't mind so much.

he hasnt been the same since ferris bueller's

Reviewer: john stamos (LACA) - See all my reviews
Charlie is a personal friend of mine, and i have been reading his poetry for years. This collection is the best of the best as far as Chas's art is concerned. When one works on a show like full house, one sees many forms of expression (from "youve got it dude" to "Watch the hair!" [my personal favorite!]). Sheen expresses the overall feeling of the modern man. From our disgust with the system (damn the man) to our love of sheenistry. Not many people realized that i not only function as an actor, but as a producer. How does this relate to Los? one might ask. Well, sheen PRODUCES some pretty good poetry. Ok ok. Some of sheen's poems may be seen as obscene, thats what i hear anyway. Well, thats trash. that is like saying c thomas howell is a bad tennis player. its just flat out not true. Sheen steals part of ourselves and gives us a chunk of humanity and sheenathan. And, everything that is sheentastic. i remember when a young man named carlos estevez came to town and tried to break into the business. After a name change and a little flick named Lucas, the buzz was too loud to ignore. i personally think that the artist formerly known as estevez will be known more for his poetry than for his acting. carlos is of a caliber not normally seen in this lifetime. I know that sheen has given us all something to think about. ok, i know what you are thinking. he is a mysoginist. nope. he is a drug addict/alcoholic. nope. first of all, as sheen once said, "nobody ever told me it wasnt ok to have a good time." ill vouch for that. ive known the man for quite a while, and never, i mean never, during that time did anyone tell the man that it was not ok to have a good time. now, time to get down to the nitty gritty. The poetry. it is outstanding. brilliant. fun. did i say outstanding? yeah. i am going to go out on a limb here. are you ready? sheen has produced the greatest book of all time. did i say the greatest book of all time? yes. the greatest book of poetry of all time? nope. the greatest book of all time. Why? well ill answer that. sheen is willing to take on the greatest of topics. i wont spoil anything, but lets just say he runs the gamut from A to F. F stands for a bad word. now im going to introduce a new word. Sheenastia. verb. - to live life with the greatest of detailed theological reasoning known to the human form. NOUN - a bong. There is one movie that i would like to expound upon. please allow. NO CODE OF CONDUCT is a film not like any other. on the surface, it seems to be the story of a man's struggle to solve a crime. yeah, yeah, but thats not the end of it. It is ultimately an allegory of one man's search for truth. It may have been directed by the greatest new directing talent on the planet. bret michaels. alright, enough. back to my experience as it relates to sheen. sheens and my life have intertwined on not only a physical but a spiritual level. And through sheens words, i have found life. life's name is estevez. the extevez tribe started in spain in the year 4000 bc. when the spanish conquered much of south america, the estevez's moved on to find their fortune in the new world. they made it, but little jose esteves, didnt. this created a long line of disillusionment within the sheen's inner circle. it lasted for generations, and was not truly harnessed in art until young carlos sheen, born 2350 years after jose, gave his artistic gifts to the world. now, we experience a new form of sheen. a new form of expression. i believe that this book will outlast us all, and will be the final testament of a species that never fully grasped their capability. Call me oldfashioned, but that is the way i feel. sheen has given us what we may never repay. now i will get to the real purpose of this review. i, as a spiritual being, believe in my deepest darkest regions, that sheen the publishing of this book breaks the forth seal of the apolcolypse. that being said, i also believe that sheen is not human. allow me to qualify. sheen, the father of modern thought, is supernatural. sure martin claims to be his biological father. but i know this is not the case. the conception of one carlos sheen-estevez was one of divinity. this impregnation parallels that of another great book of poetry. in fact, i'm not convinced that sheen did not write that great book, as either one apostles or the Lord himself. How did this happen, it cant be true you say. permit my clarification. it is not widely known, but this book of poetry was originally written by sheen during a year of isolation and meditation in the mountains. sheen during this binge of spirituality, would go into trances where he would write unconsciously. Big deal, you say. well, did i mention that he wrote it in a dead language known as aremaic. Once this book is broken down, translated back into other languages and then back to native american languages, we will get the true translation, we will see THE BOOK OF SHEEN aka a piece of my mind.

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/1893830004/002-0362838-7593623?v=glance

ok that's just ridiculous

Ruffalo's too warm and fuzzy to play the assassin in Collateral.

missymcdfla: How did the partnership with Charlie Sheen come about?

launch_bret_michaels: Oddly enough, Charlie Sheen's favorite song was "Something to Believe In," and we were both dating a Penthouse Pet, unbeknownst to us, at the same time. And we lived near each other, oddly enough. And we started to hang out, oddly enough. And things just happened. Most importantly, a great friendship.

* Bobby Dall as Self
* Bret Michaels as Self
* C.C. Deville as Self
* Charlie Sheen as Self
* Courtney Gains as Self
* Joe Lando as Self
* John Stamos as Self
* Kristi Gibson as Self
* Mark Dacascos as Self
* Martin Sheen as Self
* Pamela Anderson as Self
* Paul Gleason as Self
* Paul Stanley as Self
* Rebecca Romijn-Stamos as Self
* Riki Valentine as Self
* Rikki Rockett as Self
* Ron Masak as Self
* Shane Stanley as Self

what about Malkovich?

Sir Anthony Hopkins in Mission Impossible II

Gerard Depardieu in Mission Impossible

Arnold Schwarzenegger in Eyes Wide Shut

Yes.

How much better?

Light years better; it doesn't even matter who you replace him with ("Bocat Goldthwait IS Maverick in 'Top Gun'!").

Vanilla Sky - Christian Bale
Eyes Wide Shut - Ralph Fiennes
Minority Report - Hugh Jackman

"Eyes Wide Shut" would have been better with Ashley Judd. Rowr.

You mean Korny Lestat?

Seriously, both of those films bored me senseless (and Vanilla Sky actively pissed me off), and I can't blame the Cruiser for that. Maybe if they replaced Penelope Cruz/Nicole Kidman was well, it'd be a bit better, but I dunno. Maybe I'd like them better if they were both actually Zoolander.

Brian Chippendale from Lightning Bolt looks like the love child of Tom Cruise and David Byrne.

He was NOT blank in Magnolia... and I only liked him in that cold-stare interview scene, which I'm sure is EXACTLY what he's like when someone from Esquire tosses him a Scientology question. Otherwise he was as embarrassing as usual (never more gay --and I mean gay -- than in the cock/pussy monologue).

Kubrick originally wanted Steve Martin for the EWS role. But I think the casting of the Power Couple gave the movie a purposeful uberness that adds to its perversity/inscrutability.

Jason Statham as Lestat in Interview

I love EWS, but the thought of Steve Martin in that role makes me so happy.