Why I am lame both single and partnered?

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Single: Drunk all of the time, cloying, creepily sex and affection hungry, distracted, close to my computer at all times, closer to the phone, going out every night.

Partnered: Jealous all of the time, distant, creepily forgetful of how all important sex is to me beyond logic, ungrateful, forgetting it could not be in my life, using friends/art to fill in where my partner leaves gaps, still close to my computer, not really free to use the phone because I would just probably complain and mates have had enough of that from when I was single. Less drunk.

― SevenTimes, Monday, 31 January 2005 21:22 (twenty-one years ago)

no offense but your single version sounds better.

― g--ff (gcannon), Monday, 31 January 2005 21:25 (twenty-one years ago)

Well, awareness is the first step in solving the problem, no?

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Monday, 31 January 2005 21:32 (twenty-one years ago)

Yeah, I think I might be cooler single, but it is not because I am actually cool, it is just because I feign possissing a vital inner world to attract members of the opposite sex. Once this goal is acheived I generally settle into my petty, afraid and egomainaical self.

― SevenTimes, Monday, 31 January 2005 21:36 (twenty-one years ago)

You'd think so, wouldn't you Alex?

― SevenTimes, Monday, 31 January 2005 21:37 (twenty-one years ago)

Which are you now? Single or not? Either way, sounds like you're indulging in some self-hatred, or at least more harsh analysis than you probably deserve. Probably circumstantial, not anything innate about you.

― Pears can just fuck right off. (kenan), Monday, 31 January 2005 21:39 (twenty-one years ago)

Not to rule out the possibilty that you have some work to do, mind you, but don't go jumping off a bridge, is what I'm saying.

― Pears can just fuck right off. (kenan), Monday, 31 January 2005 21:42 (twenty-one years ago)

Thanks, no bridge jumping just staring and picking at the things I find on my body.

― SevenTimes, Monday, 31 January 2005 21:49 (twenty-one years ago)

Shower instead. And get dressed, fer Chrissakes. Nobody like a stinky naked depressed guy.

― Pears can just fuck right off. (kenan), Monday, 31 January 2005 21:52 (twenty-one years ago)

nobody *likes*

― Pears can just fuck right off. (kenan), Monday, 31 January 2005 21:52 (twenty-one years ago)

The question this pathetic creature has placed on the table is not whether this description is accurate, but rather why it came to be true. IOW, what is the origin of this lameness, as described?

This is not an easy question to answer, but I shall put on my thinking cap and make my best try (keeping in view at all times that I don't want to spend any effort on it and do not care if I am correct).

My snap diagnosis is that the questioner is suffering from wankism, brought on by an Incurably Deefeeective Brain. Perhaps it is a full-blown brain rot of some sort, such as sometimes see affecting a cabbage (which is very analogous to certain brains) that has sat in the back of the vegetable drawer for upwards of six months.

The only cure is to insert a long-handled spoon up one's nostril, as was done by corpse-preparers in ancient Egypt in order to scoop out the brain of a cadaver being readied for mummification. Once the brain rot has been removed, the hollow space created should be stuffed with spice-crammed ungents. Barring that, cram Thai food into the cavity.

― Aimless (Aimless), Monday, 31 January 2005 21:55 (twenty-one years ago)

Wankism: True and true
Brain: Necessary to enjoy relating own life to that of Ishmael, Ignatius Reilly, Peter Laughner: cannot remove despite interest in ungents
Shower: Could use one, but it is cold and there is no email
Not Naked: True
Stinky: You say tomayto, I say tomahto

― SevenTimes, Monday, 31 January 2005 22:07 (twenty-one years ago)

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