Help Needed! (Serious this time)

New mis-managed answers!

Tell them to strip naked and do each other on stage. Outrage, attention, and money. Or lack thereof.

Hmmm....perhaps. BUT! I also volunteered to do their website, but I'd rather not have some crappy Geocities address, I want a proper address and freedom to put up anything I want. Again, I know nothing about how to do this, so can someone explain domain names/web hosting etc etc? Please? Pretty please? Pretty please with sugar on top?

You'd be better off reading about Larry Parnes, Simon Napier-Bell or Louis J. Pearlman. It's all about being a great manipulator, the rest falls into place.

Whatchu need for a website: - Domain name
- Internet Service Provider (AKA ISP)
- Someone to host your domain
A domain name (.com, .net, .org, .xyz) goes for US $60 / 2 years - http://www.joker.com is a good place to go. As far as hosting your domain, that can cost anywhere from US $9.95 / month to $49.95 / month, depending on what you want. I use http://www.dreamhost.com, and they provide ample amounts of disk space, e-mail aliases, and other such things. I'd do some comparison shopping, though (and let me know if you pick Dreamhost, you dog - I get kickbacks for referrals, yipee). I'm guessing that, if you're posting to IL* incessantly, you have an ISP already lined up. If not, any ratty Internet connection will do, to allow you access to your site (for editing purposes), as well as to access the e-mail filtering through your website (which you can direct to your ISP e-mail address, a Hotmail box, or any other mail service that's down with POP, I think). And there you go.

STUPID GREENSPUN HORSESH*T.

Eh?

watch the commitments, take notes

I guess you should get them to make a professional sounding demo. Send it to venues, magazines and fanzines, create some hype!

What sorta music do they play? (ex nae on the demo idea if they are an old school lo-fi band)...The Rock Garden (I think!) place is always advertising in the NME saying "send us a demo, and maybe we'll give you a gig". If you know anybody who promotes club nights or gigs then maybe they could help?

DON'T MAKE ANY PROMISES. Good luck.

I wouldn't really worry about a website until a fan base has been created!

You could go for an MP3 page first?

I thought a website would be useful as it means there is a permanent presence somwehere that someone who likes them after seeing them at some shitty London pub can go and get MP3s, gig dates etc etc. All I'm really after is to be able to have a website wot is www.[insert band name here].com[or org or whatever], rather than some long and totally forgettable geocities.com/ address.
But, the band themselves are a bunch of handsome devils (Katie G and RickyT can vouch for AL The God Of Rock) who like their ROCK and as a result ROCK LIKE BASTARDS! But! My intention is to work on ways to set them apart from lumpen indie rock shite [eg Therapy, Feeder etc etc] and the Linkin Park contingent, and thus be able to sell them to both Kerrang and NME readers, the crowd that go to the Camden Underworld and the crowd that go to Strange Fruit/Track And Field etc. The way I see it, indie kids like to ROCK too [Nirvana = proof of that], you've just got to convince them that the band in question are sophisticated enough for them to disengage their snobbery. I'm looking to forge them into an intelligent arty wanker group (this is not hard with AL in the band) with KILLER RIFFS! Hurrah!

Spam message boards pretending that you've just "stumbled upon" this "fantastic new band". Their website is www.fantasticnewband.com, tell me what you think!

Do NOT pay to do anything. There are countless venues, 'record companies' (heh) that offer you unlimited everything if you stump up £50 to 'be on a comp'/'get an opening slot' etc., don't do it. People will want the band's stuff eventually, without the band appearing desperate.

Re 'Truculent bass players'. This is an overlooked but very important area. What you need to do is out-do them. Old rule applies, people who make a meal of acting 'eccentric' or crazy usually aren't, so if YOU scare them with intense behaviour that's usually enough to calm them down. Of course, the 'intense' behaviour need not be witless and self-destructive, it could also be getting them to put in a lot of work for the band - tell them to learn 75 songs, or go out and get three months of club gigs booked, and when they've done that then they can be as nutty as they want. Believe me, this works.

Other thing re management, if you want to stay friends with them don't make it really obvious you're favoring the 'talented one', or whoever your best friend is etc. This makes the truculent expendable members even more so, and they only seem 'expendable' until it comes time to replace them and you're auditioning pony-tailed cruise-ship refugees for weeks. Keep everyone sweet if you can.

One more thing: the two bands that spring to mind when I imagine an attempted combination of 'artiness' and KILLER RIFFS: Placebo and the aformentioned Muse. Unless you are supremely confident in the abilities of these young men, don't give us a third, please, DG.

Absolutely, I wouldn't dream of inflicting something that bad on the general public. My description of what I'm after is VERY vague at the moment, all I want them to be is a band that engage the brain and the hips.

dg, you are the miles copeland of the 'noughties.

seriously though, there are many many ways to create "hype", some of which are actually kinda fun...a flyering/stickering campaign across a major city centre (especially in an area where the YOUNG and HIP "hang out")...it doesn't even have to be show flyers...if they're interesting/bizarre/memorable enough...people will recall them when they seee their name on bills...also, you need to create "happenings"...i need not tell you what they be, but anything where you can get the press to show up (the closer you come to risking arrest, the better) is good.

Step 1 - GET OUT OF ORSETT!!

I never even knew they had a pub there, let alone a music venue. About ten years ago, me and some friends of mine spent an entire evening in Orsett searching (in vain) for a public house. We still joke about it now.

Step 2 - Replace aforementioned bass player with ME. I am most definately not 4REAL.

Hey, I don't live in Orsett, some fool agreed to play there, and it weren't me guv.

Re: that buying a domain bit up there.

http://www.123-reg.co.uk/ - about a tenner for a com/net/org, or six quid for a uk domain. If you're paying over 60 quid, you're being ripped off. It'll also do some kind of web redirection so you can house the site at geocities for free but still have it look a little more professional.

Or I may be able to throw some free hosting space yr way...

Blimey.

Read MJ Hibbett's "Are You Local?" article in FT.

I think that was the first FT article I ever ever read. I'll go and dig it out again.

DG, I will talk to you off-board. I am not going to spill IMPORTANT SECRETS in a forum like this. You never know WHO could be listening. (Or reading as the case may be.)

OK, little miss Cloak And Dagger.