Hey members of ILX -- have you ever been in a physical fight?

I sent in my TV for repair one day and, well, anyway the TV man comes back later, knocks on my door, says he's found something in the back of the TV. And I'm looking at him absolutely speechless, I can't quite believe he's trying to pull this fucking stunt on me. I knew it was a simple case of the power supply gone on the back, but he's trying to tap me up for more money. He says "it's not like that" and I'm like "fuck off and die", and I stick up my two fingers and one more to make three. He says "dont talk to me like that, you don't understand...". So I get in his face and i tell him i understand perfectly. And he grabs my shirt and i grab his face with my hand, so he brings his fist up and twats me a good one on my cheek. Now im trying to pull his head down so i can knee it. But he's got my ear; he's twisting it round so much that its really hurting me. And we both go down on the floor, and he pushes my head back onto the corner of the fridge which is total agony. Then he gets up and runs out the kitchen, and out of the door, shouting stuff to me, slams the door shoutin' at me.

Fucking twat, that guy was.

then the other time was last year when i was real drunk and picked a fight with this guido kinda guy, and he threw me against the wall by my neck and started choking me. not really sure how/who exactly got him off me, but i was laughing the entire time.

christ, he ate you?

Now I think about it I dont blame the teacher for laughing.

So I'm in Paris, travelling by myself, during college. I go into this gay bar in the Marais called the Quetzal. I order a beer, stand by the wall. This weird drunk old geezer stumbles over to me, says "Do you speak Finnish?" (in *English*, mind). I say no, I don't speak Finnish.

So he kicks me in the balls.

I double over. He punches me. I punch him back, a few times. He is staggering a bit and is obviously superdrunk. He grabs a glass from the bar and makes as if to throw it at my head, Olde West bar brawl style. I duck my head, the glass hits the wall and breaks. I punch him again. Bartenders grab him and toss him out into the street. Everything settles down, but after this nobody talks to me in the bar, like it's my fault, like I'm the source of "trouble" of some kind, even though I was the one who got kicked in the balls from out of nowhere. And I still don't speak Finnish.

It's funny because I've found that, despite all teh stereotypes of the badass American, for all of our Rambo / John Wayne history, Europeans are usually much quicker to break a bottle over your head than Americans, in my opinion.

anyway, yes, i've been in many as a young fella and a great deal less as an adult - close calls almost every day though.

I'm kinda 'over' fighting, I'm getting too old and I don't enjoy the rush of getting hurt like I did when I was a teenager. Plus, adults look stupid when they fight.

My 6 months bartending in Manchester was a real education as far as fights go. I learned (by watching) that there are some guys who really know how to fight, and you want to give them a wide fucking berth.

we don't have guns here.

Just what I was going to say (though I am secretly proud of giving one nasty bastard a sore face even if it did cause me no end of trouble afterwards).

Having a fight when you're a grown up is really odd. Most of you gets overcome by this primeval red mist and you go steaming in, but there's a little bit at the back of your brain going "Aren't you too old for this kinda thing now? Godammit, you're a pacifist!" All of a sudden you're standing there trying to hit this other guy, whilst he's trying to hit you, with a dozen lads in the middle telling you both to calm down, knowing that your head and eye and left thigh are gonna hurt in the morning, overcome with fear and euphoria in equal measures.

I really rather wouldn't get into fights, and these days I try and drink in more sedate watering holes. However, knowing that you can handle yourself is a great boon, and so walking around the big city at ungodly hours doesn't fill me with the same sense of dread that I maybe would feel otherwise.

Nothing wrong with a grappling strategy - I'm not much of a puncher myself. But once you've got that headlock, you want to put them on the ground fast and start stomping/kicking, or transition into a firm choke.

The first was in highschool. Some ass had been pestering me all day - he finally punched me in the back of my head while i was opening my locker so i swung around and nailed him in the head with my lock. I expected him to fuck off after that but he somehow managed to punch me in the face twice before he took off. Being that I was the tiniest person in my grade and well liked I was declared the winner by all!

The second was when I was about 20. I had a new years party at my house that year. My best friend had drank himself into quite the coma by the end of the night. So much so that when the cab came for him we could not wake him up now matter what we did - I jumped on him and it did nothing! So his g/f took off (with his vodka) in the cab without him. He then wakes up 5 minutes later and begins angrily demanding that I drive him home! I was drunk as shit, it wasn't my fault he missed his ride so told him to shut up. Things escalated and I threw the first punch (figuring he was about to anyways) - two good shots to his face. Now he was much bigger than me & v. well built. He pretty much threw me across the room and then ran out the front door. I didn't hear from him for 2 months. We reconciled on the condition he curbed his drinking. I consider that one a draw because he could have easily ripped my arms off if he felt like it - but at the same time he was the only one who was reporting any soreness afterwards.

My brother and I bickered and fought constantly. Every time it escalated to throwing serious punches, he got the worst of it, even though he was usually bigger and stronger than me. Twice, he swung at my face, I ducked, and he broke a knuckle. Once, he finally pushed me over the edge and I broke his nose. He pretty much left me alone after that.

Freshman year in college, one of the biggest assholes in my dorm was also a preppie who was dressed to the nines 24/7. We got into it at lunchtime in the lobby one day — I have no idea about what — and I went on about how he was such a low grade piece of shit he'd let his mother die before letting his clothes get dirty. Finally, I threw a spoonful of Spaghettios on his white shirt and he went completely berserk. He swung at my head, and once again the cranium was mightier than the knuckles. Apparently everybody has to learn that one the hard way. (I should mention that the nickname "Rock Hardy" is an inversion of an even older nickname. When I was a preschooler, my sister's boyfriend called me "Hard Rock," which stuck for a couple of years.)

Where to swing for on the human head to give worse than you get:

1 - nose
2 - where jaw meets ear
3 - uppercut to bottom of jaw
4 - the lobe behind the ear
5 - the temple