So i've been thinking about Natilie Portman all morning.......

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.........and i can't think of a single movie where she played a halfway realistic character. The only one that seems even close is Closer. But in movies like Garden State and Beautiful Girls Ms. Portman plays these almost oracle-like girls, that have wisdom that by all logic should not be there.

does anyone else see this? or strongly disagree?

― JD from CDepot, Thursday, 17 March 2005 20:12 (twenty-one years ago)

She makes movies, not documentaries.

― Huk-L, Thursday, 17 March 2005 20:13 (twenty-one years ago)

has she ever been in anything directed by a woman?

― kyle (akmonday), Thursday, 17 March 2005 20:13 (twenty-one years ago)

Does Phantom Menace count?

― Huk-L, Thursday, 17 March 2005 20:15 (twenty-one years ago)

it serves my point.

i thought of another one: The Professional. She is never even remotely human, but she drowns in cute wisdom every time.

― JD from CDepot, Thursday, 17 March 2005 20:18 (twenty-one years ago)

Has ANYONE ever been in a movie directed by a woman?*

*This refers to sadness at the tragic paucity of female directors, not a snobby comment about how ladeez kant direkt.

― The Obligatory Sourpuss (Begs2Differ), Thursday, 17 March 2005 20:20 (twenty-one years ago)

NB: My Geo. Lukas burn was not intended as woman-bashing.

― Huk-L, Thursday, 17 March 2005 20:21 (twenty-one years ago)

Has ANYONE ever been in a movie directed by a woman?

Bill Murray and Scarlet Thingy

― Jarlr'mai (jarlrmai), Thursday, 17 March 2005 20:24 (twenty-one years ago)

Fast Times/Clueless
Penny Marshall?
Did one of the Ephron's direct one of the Hanks/Ryan flicks?

― Huk-L, Thursday, 17 March 2005 20:25 (twenty-one years ago)

mmmmm... scarlet thingy...

― AaronK (AaronK), Thursday, 17 March 2005 20:27 (twenty-one years ago)

this explains why she is rated as an actress despite being a lousy actress. she radiates "wisdom beyond her years." i'm guessing this means her stock is going to fall with each passing year, as she longer reserves the right to be "precocious."

― Amateur(ist) (Amateur(ist)), Thursday, 17 March 2005 20:57 (twenty-one years ago)

Where The Heart Is, dudes.

― milozauckerman (miloaukerman), Thursday, 17 March 2005 20:58 (twenty-one years ago)

I have just the opposite feeling (xpost) I think she's probably a good actress who is misused and limited by her directors on a regular basis. I'd like to see her in a Jane Campion film.

― kyle (akmonday), Thursday, 17 March 2005 20:59 (twenty-one years ago)

i was just going to say the one with the wal-mart birth or whatever. i didn't see that one tho.

― stalkers: her real last name is hershlag, Thursday, 17 March 2005 21:00 (twenty-one years ago)

I can think of an actress who has been nominated for an Oscar TWICE for a woman-directed film. Anyone want to guess?

― jaymc (jaymc), Thursday, 17 March 2005 21:02 (twenty-one years ago)

Where The Heart Is, dudes.

I thought so too. Directed by Man.

― Jimmy Mod Has Returned With Spices And Silks (ModJ), Thursday, 17 March 2005 21:02 (twenty-one years ago)

(I mean, nominated for TWO separate women-directed films -- in case that wasn't clear.)

― jaymc (jaymc), Thursday, 17 March 2005 21:05 (twenty-one years ago)

Holly Hunter? For The Piano and Thirteen?

― jocelyn (Jocelyn), Thursday, 17 March 2005 21:05 (twenty-one years ago)

yup

― jaymc (jaymc), Thursday, 17 March 2005 21:06 (twenty-one years ago)

She has to be the only one, right?

― jaymc (jaymc), Thursday, 17 March 2005 21:07 (twenty-one years ago)

Jaymc - is it Kirsten Dunst?

xpost okay I was totally wrong then, huh

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Thursday, 17 March 2005 21:07 (twenty-one years ago)

jaymc = MOVIE ANSWER MAN

― Amateur(ist) (Amateur(ist)), Thursday, 17 March 2005 21:07 (twenty-one years ago)

Holly Hunter, jaymc?

ach! xp

― jed_ (jed), Thursday, 17 March 2005 21:07 (twenty-one years ago)

jaymc = MOVIE ANSWER MAN

http://www.reelmoviecritic.com/movie20033q/2cec8170.jpg

― jaymc (jaymc), Thursday, 17 March 2005 21:13 (twenty-one years ago)

i hope ebert makes that gesture the entire time he's watching a movie

― Amateur(ist) (Amateur(ist)), Thursday, 17 March 2005 21:22 (twenty-one years ago)

L7, baby. squarezville.

― Silky Sensor (sexyDancer), Thursday, 17 March 2005 21:31 (twenty-one years ago)

"where the heart is" = one of the funniest movies of the last 10 yrs. features the immortal line (stockard channing, southern accent) "why that's forney. he jumped through a plate glass window to deliver yore baby" it's better than john waters! and sadly enough i've said all this on ilx somewhere before.

― f--gg (gcannon), Thursday, 17 March 2005 21:39 (twenty-one years ago)

WAYNE WANG IS ALL MAN BABY AND DON'T YOU FORGET IT

― j blount (papa la bas), Thursday, 17 March 2005 21:45 (twenty-one years ago)

Martha Coolidge - REAL GENIUS AND VALLEY GIRL

― S!monB!rch (Carey), Thursday, 17 March 2005 21:46 (twenty-one years ago)

Kathryn Bigelow - STRANGE DAYS AND POINT BREAK

― S!monB!rch (Carey), Thursday, 17 March 2005 21:47 (twenty-one years ago)

Doris Wishman - BAD GIRLS GO TO HELL AND NUDE ON THE MOON

― j blount (papa la bas), Thursday, 17 March 2005 22:10 (twenty-one years ago)

I think she's quite talented, but yeah, maybe she's too cute and little to ever get a good role...

― jill schoelen is the queen of my dreams! (Homosexual II), Thursday, 17 March 2005 22:14 (twenty-one years ago)

I remember a couple years ago some posh-ass mag like Town & Country ranked all the beauties of the world (current starlets & models, etc), and decided Nat was a the greatest of them all. AND she won't stop leaving messages on my cell, I had to get a restraining order against her.

― andy --, Thursday, 17 March 2005 22:16 (twenty-one years ago)

Her nude scene in "Closer" was cut. She means nothing to me now.

― Curious George Finds the Ether Bottle (Rock Hardy), Thursday, 17 March 2005 22:19 (twenty-one years ago)

wayne wang! he has had a strange career:

Good Cook, Likes Music (2005) (announced)
Last Holiday (2005) (post-production)
Because of Winn-Dixie (2005)
Maid in Manhattan (2002)
The Center of the World (2001)
Anywhere But Here (1999)
Chinese Box (1997)
Blue in the Face (1995)
Smoke (1995)
The Joy Luck Club (1993)
Life Is Cheap... But Toilet Paper Is Expensive (1989)
Eat a Bowl of Tea (1989)
Dim Sum Take Out (1988)
Slam Dance (1987)
Dim Sum: A Little Bit of Heart (1985)
Chan Is Missing (1982)
A Man, a Woman, and a Killer (1975)

his forthcoming films are

Good Cook, Likes Music: On a bender, a trailer-park slacker sends away for a mail order bride (Zhang Ziyi) - a woman who turns out to be a musical prodigy who changes his life.

Last Holiday: After she's diagnosed with a terminal illness, a shy woman decides to take a European vacation. Starring (among others) Gérard Depardieu, Giancarlo Esposito, Timothy Hutton, Queen Latifah, and LL Cool J.

― Amateur(ist) (Amateur(ist)), Thursday, 17 March 2005 22:23 (twenty-one years ago)

blue in the face is the worst worst worst. and I liked smoke. but it was a definite shark jumping moment for paul auster.

― kyle (akmonday), Thursday, 17 March 2005 22:25 (twenty-one years ago)

blue in the face was shot in a day and, apparently/bizarrely (i mean they were basically getting a 'free' movie) heavily miramaxed, weinstein fingers all up in that pie.

― j blount (papa la bas), Thursday, 17 March 2005 22:28 (twenty-one years ago)

i hope gerard depardieu plays the woman with the terminal illness

― Amateur(ist) (Amateur(ist)), Thursday, 17 March 2005 22:29 (twenty-one years ago)

Paul Auster jumped the shark!? Terri Gross hasn't called him in months.

― andy --, Thursday, 17 March 2005 22:30 (twenty-one years ago)

that role has timothy hutton written all over it

― j blount (papa la bas), Thursday, 17 March 2005 22:32 (twenty-one years ago)

two years pass...

i just feel like this should be included in with the other actor/actress threads, for some reason

― rrrobyn, Thursday, 14 June 2007 19:11 (eighteen years ago)

Well Episode 2 sucked , taht's for sure, at least wherein said actress is concerned. She's worse than jar-jar

― Latham Green, Thursday, 14 June 2007 19:15 (eighteen years ago)

Portman was good in her sequence in Paris Je T'aime. She wore like the exact same blue wig as she did in Closer, and it was basically Run Natalie Run, but I liked it.

― jaymc, Thursday, 14 June 2007 19:15 (eighteen years ago)

i want her to do crazier stuff

― rrrobyn, Thursday, 14 June 2007 19:21 (eighteen years ago)

I think the third Star Wars is as realistic a character as she's ever been handed: pregnant, thinks her husband's great even though he's clearly a childish prick, takes a while to sink in that he's a self-centered asshole. Re-set this in a Wal-Mart in northern Indiana and you've got the world's best-looking episode of Divorce Court.

― nabisco, Thursday, 14 June 2007 19:22 (eighteen years ago)

(I only just recently saw Episode 3, and OMG the hilarity/horror of some of this stuff: Vader's Frankenstein impression and overhead pan-back "NOOOOOOOO" looks positively smart in comparison to the "not if anything to say about it I have.") (I mean why not go all out and just have him say "motherfucker kay-aye, yippie?")

(Also are we now to take it that Chewbacca's grunting throughout the originals were mostly saying "wait, did you say you just visited YODA? holy shit, that guy and I go way back! how's he doing?")

― nabisco, Thursday, 14 June 2007 19:27 (eighteen years ago)

I think Natalie Portman would probably be pretty good in porn? If no speaking role of course

― Latham Green, Thursday, 14 June 2007 21:14 (eighteen years ago)

kudos

― Jimmy The Mod Awaits The Return Of His Beloved, Thursday, 14 June 2007 21:16 (eighteen years ago)

RESET THAT IN A WALMART AND YOU HAVE THAT STUPID MOVIE WHERE SHE'S PREGNANT AND LIVES IN A WALMART.

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Thursday, 14 June 2007 21:20 (eighteen years ago)

THAT MOVIE IS WHERE THE HEART IS AND IT'S THE BESTEST EVER

― milo z, Thursday, 14 June 2007 21:21 (eighteen years ago)

this coming from a man who thought saved was bad!

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Thursday, 14 June 2007 21:21 (eighteen years ago)

I haven't seen that movie, Ally, but I'm willing to bet whoever is in it is less convincing as a guy who'd get you knocked up and living in a Wal-Mart than Hayden Christiansen is in Star Wars.

― nabisco, Thursday, 14 June 2007 21:23 (eighteen years ago)

Saved wasn't bad, it just wasn't as good as I hoped. Mandy Moore + Mary Louise Parker + Jesus should have been glorious.

― milo z, Thursday, 14 June 2007 21:24 (eighteen years ago)

She was best in Mars Attacks!. Although this movie I want its number why because its itnersting: http://imdb.com/title/tt0457419/

― nickalicious, Thursday, 14 June 2007 21:26 (eighteen years ago)

Mandy Moore + Mary Louise Parker + MARTIN DONOVAN + JENA MALONE -- it was good, but if you just presented that to me as a potential cast I'd be imagining basically the best film in the world ever.

― nabisco, Thursday, 14 June 2007 21:28 (eighteen years ago)

that movie was like 85% awesome + 15% advertisement for mandy moore's ass = 100% awesome

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Thursday, 14 June 2007 21:30 (eighteen years ago)

Mandy Moore + Mary Louise Parker + Jesus

well my brain's definitely going to Hell now

― TOMBOT, Thursday, 14 June 2007 22:26 (eighteen years ago)

eight months pass...

She is outacted by ScarJo in The Other Boleyn Girl (stay away).

― Dr Morbius, Thursday, 28 February 2008 17:39 (eighteen years ago)

that movie was like 85% awesome + 15% advertisement for mandy moore's ass = 100% awesome

-- the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Thursday, 14 June 2007 21:30

must see

― BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Thursday, 28 February 2008 21:09 (eighteen years ago)

one month passes...

http://www.imnotobsessed.com/2008/04/08/natalie-portman-going-for-a-stroll/natalie-portman-boyfriend-park-nyc2/

― moonship journey to baja, Wednesday, 9 April 2008 04:16 (eighteen years ago)

Is that Druvander Bumhat?

― Hurting 2, Wednesday, 9 April 2008 04:18 (eighteen years ago)

well it's not meg white w/ a fake beard

― moonship journey to baja, Wednesday, 9 April 2008 04:20 (eighteen years ago)

I can kinda see what NP is going to look like middle-aged from that.

― Hurting 2, Wednesday, 9 April 2008 04:24 (eighteen years ago)

like a goddess?!?

― moonship journey to baja, Wednesday, 9 April 2008 04:31 (eighteen years ago)

bad hair, boring clothes

― gershy, Wednesday, 9 April 2008 04:33 (eighteen years ago)

lol pitchfork:

Natalie Portman Stars in New Devendra Banhart Video
And many other sentences completely inconceivable in 2003

― jaymc, Wednesday, 9 April 2008 04:36 (eighteen years ago)

and I was hoping Devendra and Lindsay could finally make it work.

― clotpoll, Wednesday, 9 April 2008 05:10 (eighteen years ago)

bad hair, boring clothes

gawd

they look cute together

― gabbneb, Wednesday, 9 April 2008 05:33 (eighteen years ago)

: )

― gershy, Wednesday, 9 April 2008 05:53 (eighteen years ago)

Natilly Portman, on a chair
http://venus.provocateuse.com/images/photos/natalie_portman_01.jpg

― Mark G, Wednesday, 9 April 2008 09:10 (eighteen years ago)

jesus, the fuck does that guy look like?

― banriquit, Wednesday, 9 April 2008 09:14 (eighteen years ago)

http://i29.tinypic.com/m7eujo.jpg

― ledge, Wednesday, 9 April 2008 09:52 (eighteen years ago)

attack of the clones

― gabbneb, Wednesday, 9 April 2008 14:59 (eighteen years ago)

two years pass...

lol

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QQ64G7AYsFw

― Tyler/Perry's "Dude (Looks Like a Lady)" (jaymc), Thursday, 20 January 2011 18:39 (fifteen years ago)

seven months pass...

natalie portman over the years

― TracerHandVEVO (Tracer Hand), Thursday, 1 September 2011 14:34 (fourteen years ago)

hotlinking disabled, tracer

― esteenban HOOTez (kkvgz), Thursday, 1 September 2011 14:41 (fourteen years ago)

five years pass...

https://68.media.tumblr.com/4a9d84b9ca96b12ec186077b23bccd73/tumblr_ohfxcyjF8I1rbb611o1_1280.jpg

― 龜, Wednesday, 30 November 2016 16:59 (nine years ago)

what

― El Tomboto, Wednesday, 30 November 2016 17:04 (nine years ago)

Ms Portman otm

― brex yourself before you wrex yourself (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, 30 November 2016 17:13 (nine years ago)

not about the politics themselves, obv

― brex yourself before you wrex yourself (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, 30 November 2016 17:13 (nine years ago)

Did her dude say something mean or is she inquiring how much her male prostitute charges?

― F♯ A♯ (∞), Wednesday, 30 November 2016 17:49 (nine years ago)

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