help

Aw, man. I don't know your answers, I could do with some of them myself. Sorry for not being on AIM much lately - work has been trying to kill me. I'll talk to you tonight, yeah?

Is your mum alert, and mentally okay?

shes alert, shes not mentally ok.
my grandmother was in a facilty for 10 or so years before she died.

Do you have any other family who you can ask for help and support with this, anthony? It seems a lot for anyone to cope with, let alone someone who is unwell themselves. I don't know anything at all about the practical help which might be available to you from the state since I am not au fait with the Canadian social service provisions, but hopefully a fellow Canadian will be along shortly to advise you.

In the meantime, (((huge hugs)))

In the UK your first port-of-call would be your GP, who would make a referral for your mum to be assessed and the social services input would happen as a result of that. Can you talk to your family doctor, to get some wheels in motion??

she has a gp and some local stuff like that, i have been gone for far enopugh to not know whats happening really.

and i have a big family meeting today.

Ask for help with this, and DO NOT feel guilty for not being able to cope on your own or for having your own life to live. Is it just you and your mum there? If so, that probably needs to change - it sounds like you both need support and you can't give it to each other.

Also, it's ok to have anger and fear about this situation. It would be unusual if you didn't. But always remember that your mum's condition is NOT something that can or should be dealt with inside your own head - take it outside and focus on what you and other people need to do in *practical* terms. Go to your family even if you have negative feelings about them, or go to a family friend or your mum's friends or her doctor. Just share it.

Good luck and good wishes x

xpost

I'll obviously talk to you later on, at home: I think it sounded like your mum was likely to get moved to residential care, which I think sounds necessary. This would remove one really difficult burden from you, but I know it won't help with the rest.

Your health is being assessed, albeit slowly. You do have appointments, and there is a good chance that better help might be on its way, in relation to the seizures and depression. I know it's hard to wait, and everyone wishes these things moved more quickly.

I'm not sure what happens in practical terms if your mum goes into care. My impression is that your writing is making progress in terms of finding interested editors, building contacts and so on, but I think it's still some way from being a living. I don't know what can be done to tide you over, whether there is family who can provide a safety net while the various health issues, yours and your mum's, and the social security ones, are all being slowly resolved.