The Bagel Girl has been giving me.... Margarine!!

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I order a bagel or english muffin with butter in the morning. This has been going on since November. Sometimes I get cream cheese, but usually just butter.

But then I secretly watched her prepare it... and she reached into a big plastic yellow tub. I asked, "Is that butter?" "Yes, butter," she said. (She is an immigrant.)

I don't know why I couldn't taste the difference before, but it clearly was margarine.

The only reason I bring this up is because I heard a nutritional expert a year or so ago, and they asked him what food he would remove from his diet: "Margarine!" was what he said. She's poisoning my heart!

― andy ---, Wednesday, 23 March 2005 18:53 (twenty-one years ago)

Ask her to give you a new heart.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 23 March 2005 18:56 (twenty-one years ago)

Can you not taste the difference between the two??? SHAME ON YOU!

― quincie, Wednesday, 23 March 2005 18:58 (twenty-one years ago)

She's poisoning yr heart, because she loves you but has low self-esteem. If she damages yr muscle of love, maybe she'll find herself not so paled by yr largesse.

― Huk-L, Wednesday, 23 March 2005 18:58 (twenty-one years ago)

(xp) Better yet, loudly sing "I Think I Need a New Heart" to her.

― jaymc (jaymc), Wednesday, 23 March 2005 18:59 (twenty-one years ago)

ask her to replace it with lard

― Blossom in Paris (Jody Beth Rosen), Wednesday, 23 March 2005 18:59 (twenty-one years ago)

Pay for it with pretend money.

― Huk-L, Wednesday, 23 March 2005 19:01 (twenty-one years ago)

What does her being an immigrant have to do with it?

― Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Wednesday, 23 March 2005 19:03 (twenty-one years ago)

The immigrants must be shipped out! That's why I started this thread!

No, I only bring it up because of language. She speaks very limited english, and perhaps "butter" is the word she uses for many kinds of yellowish food spreads.

― andy --, Wednesday, 23 March 2005 19:06 (twenty-one years ago)

I don't know why I couldn't taste the difference before
Are you Fabio?

― dave225 (Dave225), Wednesday, 23 March 2005 19:06 (twenty-one years ago)

Maybe it is I Can't Believe It's Not Butter.

― Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Wednesday, 23 March 2005 19:06 (twenty-one years ago)

Larry King is the patron saint of heart-smart fake foods, not Fabio.

― andy --, Wednesday, 23 March 2005 19:07 (twenty-one years ago)

Maybe the place is Kosher.

― Ed (dali), Wednesday, 23 March 2005 19:09 (twenty-one years ago)

The only reason I bring this up is because I heard a nutritional expert a year or so ago, and they asked him what food he would remove from his diet: "Margarine!" was what he said.

My wife just took a heart health test - and when she answered that she used butter, the doctor/nurse? said "You need to switch to margarine."

(Of course, wife said fuck that shit.)

xpost
Fabio was poster boy for I can't Believe it's Not Butter - are you young, ... or Canadian?!

― dave225 (Dave225), Wednesday, 23 March 2005 19:10 (twenty-one years ago)

I saw Fabio at a restaurant in Hollywood, dressed in a red pirate's shirt and tight black pants with boots. He had a much smaller "friend" that was dressed exactly like him. I'm sure it was his personal secretary. They had a black Porshe, Fabio drove.

― andy --, Wednesday, 23 March 2005 19:10 (twenty-one years ago)

margarine is full of nasty muck.

― Ed (dali), Wednesday, 23 March 2005 19:12 (twenty-one years ago)

They wouldn't print it if it wasn't true:
Margarine, without the yellowy-orange coloring, would be gray.

― dave225 (Dave225), Wednesday, 23 March 2005 19:15 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.cnn.com/resources/potd/1999/03/31/top.fabio.bird.jpg

Member when he got attacked by a pheasant on the tilt-a-whirl?

― andy --, Wednesday, 23 March 2005 19:15 (twenty-one years ago)

margarine can easily be made from engine oil

― Ed (dali), Wednesday, 23 March 2005 19:16 (twenty-one years ago)

Xpost I know all about Fabio and the I-can't-believe campaign, I used to see the ads. But Larry King (because of past heart trouble?) is the undisputed king of post-heart-attack dietary substitutes: fake butter, fake salt, fake sour cream, etc. In terms of sheer volume...

― andy --, Wednesday, 23 March 2005 19:21 (twenty-one years ago)

margarine is plastic in its early stages. eat enough and it's kinda like petrified wood where cells start being replaced with plastic. and if you can do that long enough, you become a living ken doll. so don't leave yourself in the back of your car in the summer heat.

― andrew m. (andrewmorgan), Wednesday, 23 March 2005 19:21 (twenty-one years ago)

I thought it was a goose! I wrote a song about it. :(

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 23 March 2005 19:23 (twenty-one years ago)

It was a goose.

Margarine. Flies are attracted to garbage and yet they won't partake of it. That should tell you something.

― What we want? Sex with T.V. stars! What you want? Ian Riese-Moraine! (Eastern Ma, Wednesday, 23 March 2005 20:57 (twenty-one years ago)

Flies are snobs!

― David R. (popshots75`), Wednesday, 23 March 2005 20:59 (twenty-one years ago)

They were looking for the Grey Poupon!

― David R. (popshots75`), Wednesday, 23 March 2005 20:59 (twenty-one years ago)

They wouldn't print it if it wasn't true:
Margarine, without the yellowy-orange coloring, would be gray.

I couldn't tell you why, but I always suspected this was true.

― sugarpants: the luscious ingenue (sugarpants), Wednesday, 23 March 2005 21:00 (twenty-one years ago)

FWIW, neither butter nor margarine is great for your heart in large amounts, but margarine is definitely the more harmful of the two — lots of trans fats, etc. Plus butter tastes better, dammit.

― sugarpants: the luscious ingenue (sugarpants), Wednesday, 23 March 2005 21:01 (twenty-one years ago)

tranny fats! oleo porn.

― andrew m. (andrewmorgan), Wednesday, 23 March 2005 21:16 (twenty-one years ago)

In Quebec, they are not allowed to colour their margarine buttery yellow. It's served greyish white, if you are foolish enough to get served with it.

― Mr Noodles (Mr Noodles), Wednesday, 23 March 2005 21:24 (twenty-one years ago)

I like margarine. It tastes good and it's eminently spreadable. I thought I was being healthier by not eating butter.

― Jordan (Jordan), Wednesday, 23 March 2005 21:29 (twenty-one years ago)

I went to the diner for lunch and I wanted pie. The waitress said they had three types: "bluebeddy, cranbeddy, and apple." I never had cranbeddy pie before so I ordered that. Guess what? It wasn't cranbeddy. It was CHEDDY. Plain ol cheddy pie. Damnit.

― Je4nne ƒury (Jeanne Fury), Wednesday, 23 March 2005 21:30 (twenty-one years ago)

oh EFF you fake food nazis. i eat nothing bt processed microwavable frozen goods and other artificially flavored products and i am healthy as a horse. real fruit of the loom shit has some nasty organic crap in it - ALWAYS. basically if you eat natural, you eat shit. quite literally. eating artificial only allows me to avoid at least some crap.

― i wouldn't post it if it wasn't true, Wednesday, 23 March 2005 21:32 (twenty-one years ago)

Noodles, are you serious?

― Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Wednesday, 23 March 2005 21:33 (twenty-one years ago)

ed mentions engine oil in regards to margarine like it's a bad thing but has anyone here actually tried engine oil? has anyone read any reports telling us it's unhealthy for you? people shouldn't be so closed minded about food.

― etc, Wednesday, 23 March 2005 21:34 (twenty-one years ago)

I used to know alot of vegan punkers that ate Mocha Mix fake ice cream almost daily, and while it was indeed vegan, the ingredients list was really, really long: lots of ditrisodiuphide monotrilalixazine and shit like that. DEADLY CHEMICALS! frozen into a nice, creamy friend-to-the-animals confection.

― andy --, Wednesday, 23 March 2005 21:40 (twenty-one years ago)

In Quebec, they are not allowed to colour their margarine buttery yellow. It's served greyish white, if you are foolish enough to get served with it.

This sounds about right. Most of my family is from Canada (Montreal region) and their opinion seems to be that if a food product doesn't contain at least 70% of your daily recommended intake of saturated fat that it isn't fit for consumption.

Sudden craving for smoked meat platter from Schwartz' deli.....urrrgggh.

― jay blanchard (jay blanchard), Wednesday, 23 March 2005 21:45 (twenty-one years ago)

1) as far as I know, butter's "natural" color is also white.
2) butter is full of saturated fat which clogs your arteries. yummy.
3) saying something is full of chemicals is utterly rediculous. everything IS chemicals. you could describe lettuce that way to, ya know.

I'm just saying...

― mouse (mouse), Thursday, 24 March 2005 02:42 (twenty-one years ago)

I read recently that butter is naturally pale (and possibly thus tinted) in many countries... but not australia! Our butter is naturally quite yellow as we're one of the few countries left who can have all their dairy cattle graze on healthy grass pasture and not on feed.

― Trayce (trayce), Thursday, 24 March 2005 02:54 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.cbc.ca/news/background/food/margarine.html

― Kim (Kim), Thursday, 24 March 2005 03:12 (twenty-one years ago)

Fabio hung out regularly at a cajun restaurant I used to frequent on Sunset Blvd. He was there almost every single time I went and occasionally vans full of tourists would stop and take pictures with him in some kind of scheduled meet-and-greet. I asked the waiter about it and he said that Fabio was kind of a pain who didn't even eat cajun food and only ordered omlettes and Folger's coffee prepared a certain strange way that I can't recall. There was a picture of Fabio and I believe Bill Clinton on the wall which the waiter said Fabio put there himself. Evidently there was some kind of tension with the management where Fabio wanted free food and threatened to never come back but he kept coming back anyway. The place is a Mexican restaurant now and I haven't been back in a couple of years so I don't know if it's still Fabio's main haunt.

― walter kranz (walterkranz), Thursday, 24 March 2005 05:04 (twenty-one years ago)

andy, which bagel place is it? Is is Katz bagels on Mission?

― Great, Brave, True, Strong, Great, Real, Wise, Great...adam levine (nordicskilla, Thursday, 24 March 2005 05:37 (twenty-one years ago)

Butter is not allowed to be coloured in Europe, so it's often very pale, it's not just the feed/outdoor balance that gives the colour difference but the type of pasture. The yellow, I believe, is a result of pastures or feeds high in nitrogen (lots of clover)

Butter contains lots of Olaic Acid, a potent antioxidant found in olive oil as well, lots of saturated fat though. Margarine is very bad to fry with, the polyunsaturated fats break down too easily and form nasty carcinogens.

― Ed (dali), Thursday, 24 March 2005 09:10 (twenty-one years ago)

a picture of Fabio and I believe Bill Clinton

You sure it wasn't Roger Clinton, the Bill Clinton substitute?

― dave225 (Dave225), Thursday, 24 March 2005 12:50 (twenty-one years ago)

OK, WHO HELL IS FABIO????

I ask because my girlfriend and I were watching some rubbish imported US dating show the other morning - we're not proud of it, we were just too lazy to do anything else - and after lots of arduous tasks and witting down, the lady contestant eventually picked one guy as a winner.

Things seemed to be going well between them, untll she had to reveal her big secret. Now, versed in the language of dating show shocks as we are, the obvious dirty, shocking, secret was that she used to be a man and had a sex change a few years back.

So, the show is building the suspense... She takes him to a beach with a sunset: "Brad, you know you are my chosen one, but before we begin our life together, I have a surprise"... "I used to date Fabio"

The guy then reacts by pushing her aside and walking away in exagerated movements... cut to talking-head shots "I haven't spoken to her since, I just can't speak with someone who went out with Fabio."

WHAT THE HELL IS THIS ALL ABOUT? IS THIS GUY SOME KIND OF SERIAL RAPIST? WHAT'S THE STORY?

― Chewshabadoo (Chewshabadoo), Thursday, 24 March 2005 14:13 (twenty-one years ago)

http://re2.mm-a.yimg.com/image/992393676

http://imdb.com/name/nm0007231/

― dave225 (Dave225), Thursday, 24 March 2005 14:16 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.fabioifc.com/fabio/FAB_GIFS9/pirate.gif

― jocelyn (Jocelyn), Thursday, 24 March 2005 14:17 (twenty-one years ago)

The only thing that could make that poster better is Vin Diesel.

Noodles, are you serious?

I couldn't make that shit up if I tried. And trust me I tried, but I suck at Balderdash.

― Mr Noodles (Mr Noodles), Thursday, 24 March 2005 14:39 (twenty-one years ago)

Chewshabadoo, you were watching Average Joe 2: Hawaii. I miss that show.

― jill schoelen is the queen of my dreams! (Homosexual II), Thursday, 24 March 2005 14:39 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm sure the extended DVD can't be too far away.

― Chewshabadoo (Chewshabadoo), Thursday, 24 March 2005 14:41 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.fabioifc.com/fabio/aboutf.html

IT SAYS HERE FABIO DON'T DRINK COFFEE!

― Allyzay Subservient 50s-Type (allyzay), Thursday, 24 March 2005 14:45 (twenty-one years ago)

Does he eat bagels?

― Jarlr'mai (jarlrmai), Thursday, 24 March 2005 14:49 (twenty-one years ago)

He definitely eats margerine.

― Allyzay Subservient 50s-Type (allyzay), Thursday, 24 March 2005 14:49 (twenty-one years ago)

How about a nice touch of cream cheese and lox?

― Mr Noodles (Mr Noodles), Thursday, 24 March 2005 14:53 (twenty-one years ago)

I saw Fabio at a restaurant in Hollywood, dressed in a red pirate's shirt and tight black pants with boots. He had a much smaller "friend" that was dressed exactly like him.

Was the smaller friend sitting in Fabio's lap? Did they shake hands regularly during the meal?

― Sean Carruthers (SeanC), Thursday, 24 March 2005 15:17 (twenty-one years ago)

I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S NOT FABIO!

― What we want? Sex with T.V. stars! What you want? Ian Riese-Moraine! (Eastern Ma, Thursday, 24 March 2005 22:14 (twenty-one years ago)

IT SAYS HERE FABIO DON'T DRINK COFFEE!

Drinks - WATER - no coffee, beer, alcohol! Prefers healthy food. NO DESERT (there is a rumour that he likes pecan pie!) He used to drink coffee - but no more.

LIAR! Actually, I think it may have been decaf Folgers which is why it was so funny that he was so particular about it. But like I said this was a few years ago so I must have caught him in is "used to drink coffee" phase.

― walter kranz (walterkranz), Thursday, 24 March 2005 23:05 (twenty-one years ago)

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