Flawlessly Logical Reasoned Comebacks for Amway and Other Sham Business Proposals

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I've noticed that as a waiter I seem to be prey to many vague and suspicious business proposals from customers. Today someone told me "e-commerce" can bring in "six to eight figures" with ten hours a week (Link: www.dciteam.com). I'm guessing this is just some Amway under a different name, but I didn't know people with real jobs did this (the guy who talked to me had a white collar job and had an education).

What are the logical holes in Amway's plan that I can throw in their faces? I don't mean responses like "My schedule is really full right now," but rather the real reasons why these things are scams.

― Richard K (Richard K), Saturday, 26 March 2005 02:01 (twenty-one years ago)

Billy, you're a waiter now? I guess Zwan really didn't work out so great, eh?

― Sean Carruthers (SeanC), Saturday, 26 March 2005 04:22 (twenty-one years ago)

Zwan wasn't good enough for me, and I have taken on a blue collar job in a futile attempt to gain something called "humility," though I am unsure what involves exactly.

― Richard K (Richard K), Saturday, 26 March 2005 04:53 (twenty-one years ago)

"what exactly that involves," damn my drug-using non-practising-catholic past.

― Richard K (Richard K), Saturday, 26 March 2005 04:55 (twenty-one years ago)

Amway is an amazingly inefficient, time intensive way to sell goods (I'm not sure how this relates to your customers E-bullshit)

― JJ Connors, Saturday, 26 March 2005 06:47 (twenty-one years ago)

I had an uncle once try to get me to invest in some e-commerce scheme. Shopathome.com. It's trading at about 2¢ right now. What they had was inventory that resembled things that losers took home from game shows, and all supposedly slightly discounted. The catch was that my uncle had all of these business cards with the URL and a six digit code that he gave out to friends and collegues. In theory, his collegues would "shop-at-home", drop his six-digit number into one of the fields as they were checking out, and he'd make a commission.

My response was, "Why the fuck would I do that when I can just go to Amazon and buy what I want without a damn code?" His response was that he wasn't sure that Amazon could offer me, the consumer, everything I wanted at such a discount. I assured him that Amazon had pretty much whatever anybody wanted, and besides, most of the discounts at shopathome were "free", but only if you signed up for this or bought that at the regular price.

So, what's the quick answer? Tell them that you're a waiter and not some hot-shot internet investor like they are! If that doesn't work, feign epilepsy.

― Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Saturday, 26 March 2005 15:17 (twenty-one years ago)

"If I have to tell you no again, I'm going to set you on fire."

― Austin 's dirty mind (Austin, Still), Saturday, 26 March 2005 15:20 (twenty-one years ago)

The best quick answer is to fart a lot.

― James.Cobo (jamescobo), Saturday, 26 March 2005 21:02 (twenty-one years ago)

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