ever get that feeling that everything you thought was good about you might just be what everyone else thinks is bad about you?

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sometimes i'll catch myself saying something i think is hilariously self-deprecating and then, as soon as it leaves my lips, suddenly feel like my schtick is just utterly... played. as if i've built up a repertoir of social responses and modes of behaving that i've been clinging to for far too long, that might've been smart and funny and charming for a while but now seem, i don't know, annoying? fake? maybe it's just a matter of finding people that like your schtick more than others. maybe i need to be more direct on occasion.

y'know?

― jermaine (jnoble), Monday, 28 March 2005 13:05 (twenty-one years ago)

That's close to a problem I have - except I think what seems like some sort of gimmick, the self-deprecation, is actually a jokey way of expressing desperate insecurities, related to depression. I think whatever is behind it, it can get a bit tedious and irritating, but it is hard to stop.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Monday, 28 March 2005 13:16 (twenty-one years ago)

Martin, I fear the same applies to me. :-(

― nathalie doing a soft foot shuffle (stevie nixed), Monday, 28 March 2005 13:26 (twenty-one years ago)

Me too. My other one is that I pride myself on being very good at my job, and I'm pretty sure everyone else I've ever worked with just sees me as being an anally retentive work-freak with a superiority complex, rather than the conscientious and careful person that I see myself as being.

― ailsa (ailsa), Monday, 28 March 2005 13:28 (twenty-one years ago)

I don't think I've met very many people who utilized self-deprecating remarks on a regular basis whom I suspected of having a schtick or a gimmick. Martin OTM.

Everybody needs to be more direct and not just on occasion.

― TOMBOT, Monday, 28 March 2005 13:31 (twenty-one years ago)

ailsa: the difference between those two is do you make a big deal about carrying more than your own weight or do you have the patience to let recognition come to you?

― TOMBOT, Monday, 28 March 2005 13:32 (twenty-one years ago)

I don't make a big deal of it, but my boss does, and I think it's nice to be recognised, my colleagues think I'm an arselicker of the highest order.

― ailsa (ailsa), Monday, 28 March 2005 13:40 (twenty-one years ago)

me too. especially lately.

― stevie (stevie), Monday, 28 March 2005 13:44 (twenty-one years ago)

then your colleagues are crap, though if the "everyone else I've ever worked with" part is true then perhaps you're missing something in the way of respecting other people's contributions, or to put it another way how patronizing are you when dealing with people who don't have your expertise?

― TOMBOT, Monday, 28 March 2005 13:50 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh, I also exaggerate a bit. I don't see that as a good trait though.

― ailsa (ailsa), Monday, 28 March 2005 13:55 (twenty-one years ago)

I get the feeling that I come across as a glib, callous motherfucker who will laugh at almost anything because... well, I'm a glib, callous motherfucker who will laugh at almost anything.

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 28 March 2005 14:07 (twenty-one years ago)

haha

Dan, I laugh at your pain.

― sunburned and snowblind (kenan), Monday, 28 March 2005 14:08 (twenty-one years ago)

Martin OTM.

Everybody needs to be more direct and not just on occasion.

That's easy for someone who's not horribly insecure to say. If you're direct, then they'll know what a loser you are!

― sunburned and snowblind (kenan), Monday, 28 March 2005 14:09 (twenty-one years ago)

Stop being a loser!

― TOMBOT, Monday, 28 March 2005 14:17 (twenty-one years ago)

Hmmm, I don't really spend a lot of time thinking about what other people think about me - I'm sure most people don't have an opinion at all. It's easy to fall into the trap of thinking that everyone is analysing my every move and word, but they're not, it's ultimately self-defeating. Having said this, I've not spent much time thinking about my qualities or lack of, perhaps I should.

― jel -- (jel), Monday, 28 March 2005 14:45 (twenty-one years ago)

Everybody needs to be more direct and not just on occasion.

this doesn't work for me because 1 i am much too insecure and 2 i'm belgian (our culture doesn't really praise directness that much)

― nathalie doing a soft foot shuffle (stevie nixed), Monday, 28 March 2005 14:50 (twenty-one years ago)

But I like being glib!

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 28 March 2005 14:51 (twenty-one years ago)

One ability I REALLY respect in people: the ability to take compliments gracefully. It took me a long time to be able to say "Thank you; I'm glad you liked it" or whatever, without appending some self-deprecating comment.

― Douglas (Douglas), Monday, 28 March 2005 14:58 (twenty-one years ago)

also OTM. I've only recently, in the past few years, been able to not be horribly embarrassed by compliments. Why is that? Why do some people take compliments as if they're insults?

― sunburned and snowblind (kenan), Monday, 28 March 2005 15:01 (twenty-one years ago)

I sorta went the heavy-self-deprecating route for a long while because my parents were concerned I didn't get too swollen a head (given my school smarts etc.) It's still somewhat hard to shake.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 28 March 2005 15:13 (twenty-one years ago)

Sometimes I fear that my sparkling wit may be mistaken for colossal, unbearable assholishness. This is because everyone I know is a moron.

― adam (adam), Monday, 28 March 2005 15:27 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh yeah adam, you're fuckin' hilarious.

― TOMBOT, Monday, 28 March 2005 15:55 (twenty-one years ago)

I go through these phases where I get sick of myself and all of my little tics, so I guess that other people must get sick of them as well.

― Leon Bluth (Ex Leon), Monday, 28 March 2005 15:58 (twenty-one years ago)

One ability I REALLY respect in people: the ability to take compliments gracefully.

otm! "thank you" is a good starting point.

― i am the modren man (Jody Beth Rosen), Monday, 28 March 2005 15:59 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm charming.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Monday, 28 March 2005 16:00 (twenty-one years ago)

my sense of humor can get pretty sarcastic or self-deprecating or what have you, but i worry that people take this to mean that i'm some sort of self-hating life-hating everybody-hating ogre. not that i'm always happy mcpollyanna either. both extremes are intolerable.

― i am the modren man (Jody Beth Rosen), Monday, 28 March 2005 16:08 (twenty-one years ago)

So many OTM statements, so little for me to say now...

― What we want? Sex with T.V. stars! What you want? Ian Riese-Moraine! (Eastern Ma, Monday, 28 March 2005 16:08 (twenty-one years ago)

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