Have you been terrorized by supermarket employees? Do share!

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I was at Trader Joe's on Easter Sunday and the checkout clerk starting razzing me for shopping on a holiday. "Who shops on Easter?" "I know I'm thinking of frozen lasagne on Easter, o yes indeed" etc etc. Have you been suchly harangued?

― Orbit (Orbit), Tuesday, 29 March 2005 00:23 (twenty-one years ago)

Hahaha no.

― Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Tuesday, 29 March 2005 00:27 (twenty-one years ago)

Who shops on Easter?

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― BOATPEOPLEHATEFUCK (ex machina), Tuesday, 29 March 2005 00:28 (twenty-one years ago)

i have terrorized supermarket employees. my most recent favorite was handing a 16 year-old (or thereabouts) checkout girl a bunch of $20 bills with DRIED BLOOD all over them.

― hstencil (hstencil), Tuesday, 29 March 2005 00:32 (twenty-one years ago)

I'd just look that smarty pants in the eye and say, "I'll tell who who shops on Easter - people who don't give a rat's ass about it being Easter. And that would be me."

― Aimless (Aimless), Tuesday, 29 March 2005 00:45 (twenty-one years ago)

Not a supermarket employee, but my wife stopped shopping at our local liquor store because she could no longer bear the bizarre-o world antics of the checkout clerk (since dubbed "the Wine Mong," not short for Wine Monger, but -- more cruelly -- Wine Mongoloid). I dealt with him tonight (picking up some pinot grigio for the Mrs......i just drink beer, dammit), and he truly is from another fucking planet.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Tuesday, 29 March 2005 00:47 (twenty-one years ago)

but why? I want to hear more about the wine mong!

― kate/thank you friendly cloud (papa november), Tuesday, 29 March 2005 00:49 (twenty-one years ago)

Wine Mong only pawn, in game of life!

― Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Tuesday, 29 March 2005 02:36 (twenty-one years ago)

Not terrorized necessarily, but the cheery clerk at our local market creeps me right out. Youngish lad, looks like a closet raver, insists on direct eye-contact & a massive shit-eating smile everytime he sees me/us.
Asks me to check in with him on new flavor of icecream I just purchased 'you'll have to tell me how that is'...random weather observations 'you guys doing anything fun on this sunny day?'...all kinds of forced conversations. I stare at the floor and force my husband to engage in the banter.

― VegemiteGrrl (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 29 March 2005 02:40 (twenty-one years ago)

One time a checker berated me for not making the bin code numbers neater on a tag for some bulk cashews I was buying. This scared the shit out of me as I didn't even realise the numbers were messy. Anyway, ever since then (this was about 14 years ago) I've made my numbers perfectly on every bulk tag. The next time I went to that store and bought something in bulk the cashier kinda made fun of me for my numbers being so clear, and I said it was because another cashier had given me shit for making my numbers messily, and she was completely shocked and couldn't believe I didn't complain. I thought I was bad so I didn't.

Every time I go to S4feway I have an anxiety attack. I'm not sure if they have them everywhere but in Canada we have these S4feway club cards that allow you to get discounts on stuff in exchange for the company being able to track your movements. Anyway, the card allows the checker to know who you are and about 1 in 3 checkers mispronounce my last name pretty horribly, and their mispronunciation is very embarrassing to me. Because of this I only shop at S4feway when I have almost no choice (if I need something between 10 and 11 at night; no 24 hour grocery stores here). Fucking illiterate motards.

― Bryan (Bryan), Tuesday, 29 March 2005 02:52 (twenty-one years ago)

At the Trader Joes I used to frequent, one of the checkers was really kind of crazy. He would say the name and price of each of your items out loud and every few people he would, at random, say the name of one item inappropriately loud. It's difficult to explain but he did it in a way that would make everyone in his line visibly nervous as nobody was sure if they would face normal pleasant checker guy or if they'd be the one in 5 where he would decide to suddenly yell out SOY VEY TERIYAKI SAUCE! I think he was finally moved from cashier to more of a stocker position. One time my girlfriend grabbed the last milk carton from the refrigerator and he was standing back there staring out from the empty row.

― walter kranz (walterkranz), Tuesday, 29 March 2005 03:12 (twenty-one years ago)

I miss bulk bins.

― Curious George Finds the Ether Bottle (Rock Hardy), Tuesday, 29 March 2005 03:13 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm always afraid they're judging me based on my food purchases.
Which is mostly frozen.
If had a cashier yelling out everything I was buying for whole store to hear I'd probably totally panic - like take him out with a ham and run out of there screaming!

― Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Tuesday, 29 March 2005 03:25 (twenty-one years ago)

I dont think I understand Bryan's number writing thingy. Are you meant to note the price and/or weight yourself with a pen or something?

Once me and a guy I was seeing went to the chemists to pick up some condoms, and the smartass assistant (male) says to us, in a loud cheery voice as we left, "have a GREAT night, you guys!". Fucker.

― Trayce (trayce), Tuesday, 29 March 2005 03:26 (twenty-one years ago)

Trayce, the bulk bins are like a produce department for dry goods -- pasta, rice, spices, etc -- you bag your own and write the item number on the twist ties.

― Curious George Finds the Ether Bottle (Rock Hardy), Tuesday, 29 March 2005 03:33 (twenty-one years ago)

...gummy worms, lentils, granola...

― Curious George Finds the Ether Bottle (Rock Hardy), Tuesday, 29 March 2005 03:34 (twenty-one years ago)

Each bin/product has a code, and you have to write it onto a twist-tie so the cashier can put your purchase in. For example, cashews might be #4516, so the cashier would put the bag on the scale, read that it says "4516" on the tag, enter 4516, and it would say I owe $14 for my cashews (which wouldn't surprise me). I guess sometimes people might put a different number or make the numbers messy so that the casier would maybe put a wrong number in and charge you less (which would maybe explain the scolding I received), but it says on the screen what the stuff is so unless they're sleeping it shouldn't matter.

― Bryan (Bryan), Tuesday, 29 March 2005 03:35 (twenty-one years ago)

Well that's not too bad, Trace. I was buying condoms at a 7-11 en route to a one night stand and instead of pointing me in the direction of where they were the clerk insisted I tell him what size I was looking for first (they're all in the same spot - all i needed was regular bloody condoms)! Then went on to tell us some weird anecdote about an asian guy that ran out of the store when he couldn't find condoms small enough, or something to that effect. I mean if we weren't so drunk it might've been quite uncomfortable!

xpost

― Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Tuesday, 29 March 2005 03:39 (twenty-one years ago)

Yes, I imagine if they were too small it might have been.

Hur hur!

... I'll get me coat.

― Trayce (trayce), Tuesday, 29 March 2005 04:38 (twenty-one years ago)

Easter isn't until May 1st this year, pagans.

― Galen of Pergamon, Tuesday, 29 March 2005 04:39 (twenty-one years ago)

I want to know more about the Wine Mong.

― Chriddof (Chriddof), Tuesday, 29 March 2005 12:22 (twenty-one years ago)

Yes, whatever happened to the wine mong?

― kate/thank you friendly cloud (papa november), Tuesday, 29 March 2005 13:08 (twenty-one years ago)

Thermo, where you at the last Bl0W [Me |Up]?

― Mr Noodles (Mr Noodles), Tuesday, 29 March 2005 13:16 (twenty-one years ago)

Nope. Haven't been to one of those in a while.

― Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Tuesday, 29 March 2005 15:17 (twenty-one years ago)

Alright alright....

I want to hear more about the wine mong!

Well, for a start, he looks mighty weird. Picture a cross between subway gunman Berhard Goetz and Randy Quaid's character in "National Lampoon's Vacation"...with a really strange looking black wig (only I think it's his actual hair). Secondly, he's clearly on some variety of medication, as his mood changes by the minute (this is not an exaggeration). He'll quiz you about the weather outside with an intensity rivalling Anthony Hopkins circa "Hannibal Lecter," then turn on a damn dime to the woman standing behind you who asks about the pinot noir, angrily barking "HOW SHOULD I KNOW? I ONLY WORK HERE!" He's fond of sneering and asking wildly inappropriate questions ("Have you gained weight?" etc.)

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Tuesday, 29 March 2005 15:27 (twenty-one years ago)

"Have you ever gained weight?"
Ahh haa haha hahaaha haaaa!

― Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Tuesday, 29 March 2005 15:34 (twenty-one years ago)

we have these S4feway club cards that allow you to get discounts on stuff in exchange for the company being able to track your movements. Anyway, the card allows the checker to know who you are and about 1 in 3 checkers mispronounce my last name pretty horribly,

My tin-foil hat got prickly as soon as Kroger instituted this policy. However, it's not like they checked for I.D. after I filled out the little form. So Harry S Truman has bought a lot of Louisiana hot sauce in the last year. I even found a Kroger card in the parking lot and used that for awhile. I can only hope that the vegan on the card shocked everyone at headquarters when "she" started buying chicken and steaks.

The people who get me are the old men who never carry their card. They get up to the counter where the cashier will ask for it. Instead of answering, they just bark out 7-5-8, 8-1-1-9! Apparently, the cashier can type in your phone number and use that instead of your card. Makes me wanna fill out another card application with my local time and temperature number or a 555 number. (Or maybe I can just use the geezer's 758-8119 number. We can share!)

― Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Tuesday, 29 March 2005 16:22 (twenty-one years ago)

hey london - does that guy with tourette's who mumbles to himself still work at the Camden Sainsbury's

― dave q (listerine), Tuesday, 29 March 2005 16:33 (twenty-one years ago)

Haha! Yeah, almost no one seems to carry their cards with them and they give their phone numbers out like that. I should try to remember one and then phone them up later to ask them how the chicken pot pie was, or maybe just to ask them what they're wearing.

― Bryan (Bryan), Tuesday, 29 March 2005 17:42 (twenty-one years ago)

"What? What do you mean my husband was buying a gallon of peppermint ice cream? He's diabetic!"

― Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Tuesday, 29 March 2005 18:08 (twenty-one years ago)

One time my girlfriend grabbed the last milk carton from the refrigerator and he was standing back there staring out from the empty row.

That is undeniably classic. It would make a great comic frame.

― Orbit (Orbit), Wednesday, 30 March 2005 22:20 (twenty-one years ago)

or horror movie.

― kate/thank you friendly cloud (papa november), Wednesday, 30 March 2005 22:25 (twenty-one years ago)

"You're buying milk now, Clarice?"

― Kim (Kim), Monday, 4 April 2005 19:24 (twenty-one years ago)

I bought a six-pack of beer and a frozen pizza and the bagger was like, "Now that's a nutritious dinner". dick.

― laurence kansas (lawrence kansas), Monday, 4 April 2005 19:38 (twenty-one years ago)

However, it's not like they checked for I.D. after I filled out the little form.

Yeah, John Q Public at 123 Fake St shops at my local Sav-A-Center quite a bit.

― adam (adam), Monday, 4 April 2005 19:45 (twenty-one years ago)

I've been terrorized by crapass automated checkout aisles.

PLEASE BAG LAST ITEM. But I did. PLEASE BAG LAST ITEM. But I did. PLEASE BAG LAST ITEM. But I did. PLEASE REMOVE ITEM FROM BAGGING AREA. But ... you just told me to bag it, which I did. PLEASE REMOVE ITEM FROM BAGGING AREA. Um, OK. APPROVAL NEEDED. Unnnnnnnngh.

It's especially fun when they crank up the volume, so it's like being harangued by ED-209's little dipshitty brother. (I've also been indirectly harangued by folks in front of me at the automated checkout aisle, folks of all ages grappling w/ the notion of scanning your own food items, hypnotized by the laser.) (oooh red light)

― David R. (popshots75`), Monday, 4 April 2005 19:48 (twenty-one years ago)

The crazy old man who works night at the Stop & Shop near my mom's house has requested that I return to him with a sausage sandwich (when I was buying rolls and sausages to make... sausage sandwiches.)

― Ian John50n (orion), Monday, 4 April 2005 19:51 (twenty-one years ago)

AUTOMATED CHECKOUT: PLEASE BAG LAST ITEM.
Pleasant Plains: B-b-but it's a 14 lb thing of cat litter!
AUTOMATED CHECKOUT: PLEASE BAG LAST ITEM.

Fuck an automated checkout. Unless the prices are cheaper, I don't know why I should forgo someone checking and bagging my shit for me.

― Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Monday, 4 April 2005 19:59 (twenty-one years ago)

shorter (if any) lines at automated checkouts, typically.

― Ian John50n (orion), Monday, 4 April 2005 20:05 (twenty-one years ago)

Unless the prices are cheaper, I don't know why I should forgo someone checking and bagging my shit for me.

they won't make your prices cheaper, but they'll make the shitty grocery's overhead lower. fuck the wal-martization of america.

xpost - oh right, you're from arkansas.

― hstencil (hstencil), Monday, 4 April 2005 20:06 (twenty-one years ago)

I mildly terrorised some posh woman today, but she was an asshole. She was complaining that one of the new starters didn't know what she was doing and was completely hopeless, because she FORGOT TO HAND HER THE RECEIPT and the woman had to pick it up from the printer herself. I was all like 'OH MY GOD, IMAGINE'as loud as possible and then flounced off theatrically.

― Fergal (Ferg), Monday, 4 April 2005 20:12 (twenty-one years ago)

GOOD for you, ferg, and it is nice to hear from the other, poorer, side, once in awhile.

is stence arguing FOR automatic checkout??? i hope not/?/??? but i don't really know what the terms 'shitty grocery' 'overhead' and even (anymore) 'walmartization' mean.

― lotion., Monday, 4 April 2005 20:19 (twenty-one years ago)

automated checkout is the worst computer system ever. fuck them.

― absolutego (ex machina), Monday, 4 April 2005 20:28 (twenty-one years ago)

i'm arguing against. learn one english language.

― hstencil (hstencil), Monday, 4 April 2005 20:30 (twenty-one years ago)

STENCIL! FROM ONE RED-STATER TO ANOTHER ... MUST WE FIGHT OVER ROBOTS?

― Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Monday, 4 April 2005 20:31 (twenty-one years ago)

dude i live in New York now. Y'know, with all the purple-hair commie faggots who ride the 7 train to Mets games.

― hstencil (hstencil), Monday, 4 April 2005 20:35 (twenty-one years ago)

Do you buy your MetroCards from the booth or the machine?

― Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Monday, 4 April 2005 20:38 (twenty-one years ago)

zing.

― Ian John50n (orion), Monday, 4 April 2005 20:43 (twenty-one years ago)

machine since pataki's getting rid of all the booth attendents : (

― hstencil (hstencil), Monday, 4 April 2005 20:51 (twenty-one years ago)

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