Is "just be yourself" the worst advice ever?

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Given that we subconsciously make decisions about ppl within seconds of meeting them and that there are some characteristics that are considered more positive than others?

― MarkH (MarkH), Thursday, 12 May 2005 18:52 (twenty-one years ago)

Yourself is a sucker, myself is a creep!

― Huk-L, Thursday, 12 May 2005 18:55 (twenty-one years ago)

Aren't we more forgiving of people, however different from us that they appear, if they look relaxed and natural?

― M. White (Miguelito), Thursday, 12 May 2005 18:56 (twenty-one years ago)

If you are an asshole, being yourself is probably the worst thing you could possibly do in a social situation.

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 12 May 2005 18:56 (twenty-one years ago)

"...so I asked someone what the appeal of cocaine was. He said, 'Well, it intensifies your personality.' I said, 'Yes, but what if you're an asshole?'"

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 12 May 2005 18:57 (twenty-one years ago)

If you are an asshole, being yourself is probably the worst thing you could possibly do in a social situation.

(Besides, you know, killing someone. Although if your first impulse at a party is to start murdering people, you do fall under the extreme fringes of the "asshole" umbrella.)

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 12 May 2005 18:58 (twenty-one years ago)

I rarely if ever meet people on coke who aren't assholes!

― Gear! (can Jung shill it, Mu?) (Gear!), Thursday, 12 May 2005 18:58 (twenty-one years ago)

Yeah, but if you're an asshole, generally you don't care enough to regulate/modify your behavior anyway.

― M. White (Miguelito), Thursday, 12 May 2005 18:59 (twenty-one years ago)

I always thought it was crap advice because it's not like you can just flip a switch and presto! you're yourself.

― ()ops (()()ps), Thursday, 12 May 2005 19:00 (twenty-one years ago)

I was discussing this with a colleague and he said it didn't really matter how he acted, being himself or not being himself, it wasn't going to make any difference with the ladies, unless perhaps he stood on tippy-toes or wore a Johnny Depp mask.

― MarkH (MarkH), Thursday, 12 May 2005 19:01 (twenty-one years ago)

Everywhere you go, there you are.

― Huk-L, Thursday, 12 May 2005 19:01 (twenty-one years ago)

Be Yourself = relax, don't overthink it, quit fretting

― M. White (Miguelito), Thursday, 12 May 2005 19:03 (twenty-one years ago)

Has your colleague considered rubbing the sweaty crotch of his dirty underwear in his hair to better distribute male pheremones to the ladies, Mark? If so, that would explain his lack of luck right there.

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 12 May 2005 19:03 (twenty-one years ago)

with certain people, if I wanted to get across "relax, don't overthink it", "be yourself" would be the last I'd tell them!

― ()ops (()()ps), Thursday, 12 May 2005 19:05 (twenty-one years ago)

What do you say to a person with multiple personalities? Be yourselves? How about, 'Be yourself, but not if you're going to be the person that screams obscenities at passing traffic or the person who throws their own feces at people.'

― M. White (Miguelito), Thursday, 12 May 2005 19:05 (twenty-one years ago)

this bit of advice ("just be yourself") typically infuriates me, but in certain contexts and coming from certain people it actually makes sense.

i hate the way it's used as an all-purpose bromide in say hollywood films, though. "just be yourself!" "gosh, you're right!"

― Amateur(ist) (Amateur(ist)), Thursday, 12 May 2005 19:06 (twenty-one years ago)

JUST BE ONE YOURSELF

― d'ngullberry (noisemeltdown), Thursday, 12 May 2005 19:07 (twenty-one years ago)

i hate the way it's used as an all-purpose bromide in say hollywood films

Fucking Shakespeare and his piece of shit Hollywood fluff, Hamlet.

― Huk-L, Thursday, 12 May 2005 19:09 (twenty-one years ago)

I love The Last Days of Disco.

― Gravel Puzzleworth (Gregory Henry), Thursday, 12 May 2005 19:26 (twenty-one years ago)

It's Dave Stewart's advice to Annie Lennox at the beginning of the "Would I Lie To You?" video.

― The Sensational Sulk (sexyDancer), Thursday, 12 May 2005 19:32 (twenty-one years ago)

"Uh, I don't really know how to tell you this, but... whatever you do, don't be yourself. Your personality is really quite repellant."

― M. White (Miguelito), Thursday, 12 May 2005 19:33 (twenty-one years ago)

also what if you don't know what your personality is like?

― Maria (Maria), Thursday, 12 May 2005 19:46 (twenty-one years ago)

this is where Scient0l0gy can step in.

― The Sensational Sulk (sexyDancer), Thursday, 12 May 2005 20:03 (twenty-one years ago)

Aren't we more forgiving of people, however different from us that they appear, if they look relaxed and natural?

i think this is true. and is actually a good argument to just "be yourself"!

as annoying as it sounds. maybe "be comfortable with yourself" would be better, although that really makes no sense as an imperative statement.

― s1ocki (slutsky), Thursday, 12 May 2005 20:15 (twenty-one years ago)

"keep a constant eye on yourself to make sure you look comfortable!"

― Maria (Maria), Thursday, 12 May 2005 20:36 (twenty-one years ago)

haha

― ()ops (()()ps), Thursday, 12 May 2005 20:37 (twenty-one years ago)

Advice giver: "relax. it's no big deal. just be yourself"
inner monologue: "OMG this must be a really big deal if this person feels the need to tell me that it isn't! shit, I gotta relax!! fuck what if i'm not able to be relaxed?? just be yourself, wtf does that mean? who am i again? must relax must relax must relax must relax RELAXXXXXXXX!!!"

― ()ops (()()ps), Thursday, 12 May 2005 20:42 (twenty-one years ago)

STOP BEING SELF-CONSCIOUS BECAUSE I WILL BE SCRUTINIZING YOU UNTIL YOU DO

― s1ocki (slutsky), Thursday, 12 May 2005 20:43 (twenty-one years ago)

actually the thing my friends say most often is "you're too hard on yourself." so great, now i get to be hard on myself about being too hard on myself.

― Amateur(ist) (Amateur(ist)), Thursday, 12 May 2005 20:45 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.infonoise.net/Description/ouroboros.jpg

― Amateur(ist) (Amateur(ist)), Thursday, 12 May 2005 20:46 (twenty-one years ago)

i think ouroboros had his ribs removed

― Sym Sym (sym), Thursday, 12 May 2005 21:21 (twenty-one years ago)

doesn't "just be yourself" also sometimes mean "don't try to be something you're not"? like, so what if you think your "self" is boring and could be improved with a couple of eccentricities? das ist verboten! BE YOURSELF!

― cindy williams permafrost (Jody Beth Rosen), Thursday, 12 May 2005 21:29 (twenty-one years ago)

I think perhaps "get over yourself" is worse.

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Thursday, 12 May 2005 21:31 (twenty-one years ago)

classic or dud: using "unpretentious" as a compliment?

― cindy williams permafrost (Jody Beth Rosen), Thursday, 12 May 2005 21:31 (twenty-one years ago)

coke is the biggest strawman ever

― charltonlido (gareth), Thursday, 12 May 2005 22:29 (twenty-one years ago)

Yes because people hate me when I be myself.

― Unfortunate Prankster (Unfortunate Prankster), Thursday, 12 May 2005 23:02 (twenty-one years ago)

It's only good advice if it's coming from Hawkwind.

― walter kranz (walterkranz), Thursday, 12 May 2005 23:35 (twenty-one years ago)

all advice is good advice when it comes from hawkwind

― Amateur(ist) (Amateur(ist)), Friday, 13 May 2005 01:18 (twenty-one years ago)

Is "just be yourself" the worst advice ever?

It would be if I were you. (laughs condescendingly)

― Hurting (Hurting), Friday, 13 May 2005 02:18 (twenty-one years ago)

Yeah, but what if you can't actually remember who you are?

Also, one's personality is not static, but changes from day to day, hour to hour, depending on what situation one is in, but also, I find that my personality can also change in relation to who I'm talking to.

So which self am I supposed to be?

― The Square Root Of Negative Two (kate), Friday, 13 May 2005 11:03 (twenty-one years ago)

What if you never knew who you were in the first place!

― Dadaismus (Dada), Friday, 13 May 2005 11:04 (twenty-one years ago)

One's essential personality does not change. What changes are the aspects of your personality you choose to show in any given situation. But then again, everyone has to act, otherwise we would all have slaughtered each other 10,000 years ago, if we all went around exactly as we were.

Didn't Jesse Rae have a single out in the '80s called "Be Yourself" (pron. "be yir-saelf")?

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Friday, 13 May 2005 11:25 (twenty-one years ago)

"I've been to Celtic Park but I've never been to me"

― Dadaismus (Dada), Friday, 13 May 2005 11:29 (twenty-one years ago)

I've tried being someone else. It was rubbish.

― Come Back Johnny B (Johnney B), Friday, 13 May 2005 11:46 (twenty-one years ago)

It's terrible advice to give to, say, an undercover cop or Mike Yarwood.

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Friday, 13 May 2005 11:59 (twenty-one years ago)

This above all: to thine own self be true, And it must follow, as the night
the day, Thou canst not then be false to any man

I have real trouble with this. Isn't it meaningless? [A level English Lit analysis alert] Surely just more evidence that Polonius is full of crap?

― beanz (beanz), Friday, 13 May 2005 12:02 (twenty-one years ago)

being yourself is fine as long as you search for previous threads first

you can't 'be yourself'

― ken c (ken c), Friday, 13 May 2005 12:52 (twenty-one years ago)

well according to the theories of quantum physics everything exists in the realm of possibilities until you observe it so if you don't observe yourself then there are many possibilities of what you are being. what the fuck do i know

― bear bear, Friday, 13 May 2005 13:03 (twenty-one years ago)

TS: learning to accept yourself as you are vs. working on your personal growth

― Bob Six (bobbysix), Friday, 13 May 2005 14:03 (twenty-one years ago)

being a naturally cool person = "oh he/she is really an individual and doesn't care what people think of her/him"

being the rest of us = "oh shit"

― Haikunym (Haikunym), Friday, 13 May 2005 14:08 (twenty-one years ago)

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