Tuck student markets flesh-flavored tofu on website By Dan Duray, The Dartmouth Staff Published on Thursday, May 12, 2005 According to Mark Nuckols Tu'06, humans do not taste anything like chicken. The founder and CEO of Hufu, LLC -- the company that produces hufu, a type of tofu that simulates the texture and flavor of human flesh -- claims that his company's product "tastes like beef but a little softer in texture and a little sweeter in taste.""I have to admit that I myself have never sampled human flesh," Nuckols said. "However, I've done quite a bit of research on the history and anthropology of cannibalism and read enough accounts to have come up with a fairly good approximation."[...]His product, which contains zero fat and 100 calories per ounce-sized serving, was developed by a Dutch food processor and will be available through his website, eathufu.com, which is set to launch Thursday. The website, which ships internationally, will initially only offer Hufu Classic Strips, which, according to Nuckols, "will basically resemble the choicer flesh, which is upper arms, thighs and buttocks." Nuckols, however, assures customers that plans have been made to develop Hufu Hearts and Dr. Lector's Liver.[...]He also claims that the name "hufu" was actually coined by actress and model Milla Jovovich. Several years ago, a business associate was discussing Nuckols' idea, then called "hofu," with a friend on a Eurostar train going from London to Paris. Jovovich, intrigued, allegedly turned around to join in the conversation, commenting, "'Hofu' sounds like 'c*ck' -- you should call it 'hufu.'""As far as I can speculate, she meant 'ho food,'" Nuckols said. "She's a supermodel -- she doesn't have to make sense."Jovovich's publicist has not replied to inquiries from The Dartmouth.
According to Mark Nuckols Tu'06, humans do not taste anything like chicken. The founder and CEO of Hufu, LLC -- the company that produces hufu, a type of tofu that simulates the texture and flavor of human flesh -- claims that his company's product "tastes like beef but a little softer in texture and a little sweeter in taste."
"I have to admit that I myself have never sampled human flesh," Nuckols said. "However, I've done quite a bit of research on the history and anthropology of cannibalism and read enough accounts to have come up with a fairly good approximation."
[...]
His product, which contains zero fat and 100 calories per ounce-sized serving, was developed by a Dutch food processor and will be available through his website, eathufu.com, which is set to launch Thursday. The website, which ships internationally, will initially only offer Hufu Classic Strips, which, according to Nuckols, "will basically resemble the choicer flesh, which is upper arms, thighs and buttocks." Nuckols, however, assures customers that plans have been made to develop Hufu Hearts and Dr. Lector's Liver.
He also claims that the name "hufu" was actually coined by actress and model Milla Jovovich. Several years ago, a business associate was discussing Nuckols' idea, then called "hofu," with a friend on a Eurostar train going from London to Paris. Jovovich, intrigued, allegedly turned around to join in the conversation, commenting, "'Hofu' sounds like 'c*ck' -- you should call it 'hufu.'"
"As far as I can speculate, she meant 'ho food,'" Nuckols said. "She's a supermodel -- she doesn't have to make sense."
Jovovich's publicist has not replied to inquiries from The Dartmouth.
― kingfish maximum overdrunk (Kingfish), Thursday, 12 May 2005 20:48 (twenty-one years ago)
― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 12 May 2005 20:49 (twenty-one years ago)
http://eathufu.com/images/fg-554x280.jpg
― kingfish maximum overdrunk (Kingfish), Thursday, 12 May 2005 20:49 (twenty-one years ago)
― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 12 May 2005 20:50 (twenty-one years ago)
― giboyeux (skowly), Thursday, 12 May 2005 20:51 (twenty-one years ago)
― Eisbär (llamasfur), Thursday, 12 May 2005 20:55 (twenty-one years ago)
― Eisbär (llamasfur), Thursday, 12 May 2005 20:58 (twenty-one years ago)
― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 12 May 2005 20:58 (twenty-one years ago)
― Eisbär (llamasfur), Thursday, 12 May 2005 21:00 (twenty-one years ago)
― Shakey Mo Collier, Thursday, 12 May 2005 21:00 (twenty-one years ago)
http://www.millaj.com/pics/epsilon11041.jpg
Yum... ho food!
― you better believe it (you better believe it), Thursday, 12 May 2005 21:07 (twenty-one years ago)
― andy --, Thursday, 12 May 2005 22:08 (twenty-one years ago)
Reminds me of something I read on this smear site for that has it in for P3TA: They assembled these "outrageous" or out-of-context quotes to prove that 1ngrid N3wk1rk, the prez of P3TA is kerrraaazeee! But I really liked this wish of hers to have her flesh bbq'd after her death and the rest of her body to be mutilated in the way that non-human animals often are for the vain pleasure of humans:
http://www.consumerfreedom.com/news_detail.cfm?headline=1865
But I wonder, if she's really serious about this last will and testament, who would want to partake of her human bbq? If she died of natural causes, she'd probably be really old. As a vegan, she's probably really skinny. So her flesh would be all tough and stringy. No good eatin' there. What a waste of a bbq!
This knuckles kid might be onto something...but I actually enjoy the taste of tofu the way it is, mebbe flavoured with some soy sauce, toasted sesame seeds and oil, ginger, and spring onions. I hate the bonita flakes that the Japanese put on the tofu. Ruins it!
― Melinda Mess-injure, Friday, 13 May 2005 09:20 (twenty-one years ago)
― Liz :x (Liz :x), Friday, 13 May 2005 09:22 (twenty-one years ago)
― dog latin (dog latin), Friday, 13 May 2005 09:36 (twenty-one years ago)
― battlingspacemonkey (battlingspacemonkey), Friday, 13 May 2005 11:50 (twenty-one years ago)
― nathalie's baby (stevie nixed), Friday, 13 May 2005 11:58 (twenty-one years ago)
― latebloomer: the rebel sound of grits and bacon (latebloomer), Friday, 13 May 2005 12:42 (twenty-one years ago)
― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 13 May 2005 12:49 (twenty-one years ago)
― Maria (Maria), Friday, 13 May 2005 13:56 (twenty-one years ago)
― aldo_cowpat (aldo_cowpat), Friday, 13 May 2005 14:03 (twenty-one years ago)
― Liz :x (Liz :x), Friday, 13 May 2005 14:18 (twenty-one years ago)
That might have been because they didn't have beef, though.
― mike h. (mike h.), Friday, 13 May 2005 18:12 (twenty-one years ago)
― H (Heruy), Saturday, 14 May 2005 17:26 (twenty-one years ago)
That sounds like ostrich meat (which I have had).
Humans = ostriches.
― Roz, Saturday, 14 May 2005 17:35 (twenty-one years ago)
― latebloomer: the rebel sound of grits and bacon (latebloomer), Saturday, 14 May 2005 17:59 (twenty-one years ago)
― Roz, Saturday, 14 May 2005 18:02 (twenty-one years ago)
Just when we thought we'd seen it all from PETA -- the animal rights organization known for high-profile celebrity ads -- President Ingrid Newkirk has come up with this: George Clooney-flavored tofu.
In a letter sent to the actor, Newkirk said that PETA has been offered his gym towel (obtained right here in D.C.!) and wants to use his sweat to create Clooney tofu that will "spare animals from being killed for the table." She went on to explain that the science is pretty simple, like "making artificial chicken flavor for instant gravy."
Newkirk, a big fan of Clooney, told us yesterday that the towel was offered by a PETA supporter with the idea of auctioning it off, but she immediately thought of using his perspiration for bean curd: "I thought, 'What would make tofu more attractive to people?' ... I can see people having parties to try CloFu."
Clooney's not biting. "As a mammal, I'm offended," he told us yesterday through his rep.
― resident advice whore (haitch), Monday, 16 March 2009 02:52 (seventeen years ago)
CLOFU
WHAT A COUNTRY