finding out things that retrospectively (and significantly) alter the last ten years of your relationship with someone....

So what did you discover?

(Okay that was rude of me... Just ignore or... Well, whatever you want to do/say. Again, sorry.)

Jermaine, bear in mind that your significant other might one day google your e-mail address, so be wary about revealing his/her amphibian nature here.

apart from that, I can imagine your situation is unusual, but a lot depends on the exact nature of what you have learned about your beloved. Like, if you have discovered that they have been shagging all your friends, that would be the suck. But if you discovered that something horrible had happened to them which they had never told you about... well that would be something to keep to yourself, I reckon.

: o

The trouble with unspeakable secrets is that they are so horribly ordinary in the light of day. They never feel that way, of course. And the discrepancy between their ordinariness and the extraordinary feelings they inspire just makes one even more wretched and the whole business seem much more sordid than necessary. Sorry, luv. Way of the world.