Celebrity Love CarCrash

Just thought I'd finish that sentence for you.

I was listening to Simon Reynolds being interviewed by an arrogant fuckwit on Resonance FM at the time, before going to bed.

Anyway, my first post should have finished that I love Jayne Middlemiss. Her blubbing to camera was almost unbearably twee. "I went to Brownie camp once, and it wasn't like this. I want my Mam."

Owned.

1 hour of "Look what a sweet couple" one pairing shown.

59 minutes of people spending money by ringing in and doing what they were told.

You could have watched that cop thing on BBC1 with Amanda Redman bossing lots of old actors around...mmm-hmm...

Zim zam zum.

Urr, anyone following this at all? I tune in, people standing around a pool, some wave their arms, someone jumps in, umm that's it.

Celebrity Jump the Shark, surely.

"Hello, welcome to the first episode of Celebrity Love Island, I'm Patrick" "And I'm Kelly" "Whoa! Hooray, we made it over the shark!!!"

"I'm just going to grope you for a bit, OK?" may well become my new catchphrase.

"And Now we have Leeeeeee... From Leeeeeeedssss"

Funny the first time. by time 17, however.

Oh, blummin Keith Harris and Orville won the Farm. JICYC!

It's fun watching Titmuss reveal herself as being so bonkers and self-obsessed, and she's clearly consumed by jealousy over the whole Calum/Rebecca Love Shack malarky, esp when she bleated "Calum said he wanted to marry me! But, okay, if he doesn't, then I'll just, you know, have a go at one of the other blokes instead". Looney-tunes.

(Who's gone?)

In other news, CLI beat BB on Saturday night.

http://bigbrother.digitalspy.co.uk/article/ds7771.html

BB Ratings: Love Island tops BB on Saturday

Filed: 17:15, Day 10 by Neil Wilkes

Celebrity Love Island topped BB in the ratings for the first time last night (Saturday), according to early figures.

The latest Z-list antics on the Fijian isle interested 3.18 million (20.5%) at 10.25pm, a half million ahead of the 2.68 million (12.8%) who had tuned in to watch highlights of day 8 in the house at 9.15pm.

However, the figures remain consistent with the same show last year, when 2.8 million saw the first Saturday night challenge unfold live.

Maybe this year's BB contestants are all just too repugnant?

Also:

http://www.digitalspy.co.uk/article/ds21597.html

Playboy model to spice up 'Love Island'
Friday, June 3 2005, 23:49 BST -- by Neil Wilkes

ITV is hoping a former Playboy model will inject new life into its ailing reality show Celebrity Love Island.

Nikki Ziering, who has had small parts in American Pie and Austin Powers, will arrive on the Fijian island this weekend.

Also checking in to the resort is professional surfer Paul Fisher, who Abi Titmuss was seen flirting with during an excursion earlier this week.

Meanwhile, ex Hollyoaks actor Paul Danan was allowed back into the villa after being removed during a violent row with Fran Cosgrave.

Was I the only one who thought he had a point?

I watched it last night, and the preview of them bringing that new girl into the resort was excellent. She's some bleached blonde & tanned Hollywood actress I've never heard of, with big tits and a liking for orgies. The look on the CLI girls' faces when they met her was priceless. Instant jealousy. The British public, being the way we are, will probably vote the foreign interloper out at the first opportunity though :)

He is 14, isn't he?

Or did she? I'm guessing the prog makers are doing whatever they like and not counting the votes really.

Dido.

Just me, probably.

It all ends this week, by the way.

Um, something else happened yesterday. Ask nicely...

Oh, and something funny happened, but I forget what.

Um, Liz. She's still in it despite not 'pairing' or doing anything notable. She must have a massive fan base who cares, so will probably end up winning the cash on behalf of the girls. Dawn is convinced Paul will never get a girlfriend again after his performance on this show, but I'm thinking he'll be fighting them off as they all love a bad lad.

So, out of the girls, it seems surprising that Liz is still there seeing as how she's been very low profile. But in a way, no.

These Celeb progs are always based on "vote for your favourite" so the mass block vote from Scousers and Geordies have made sure Jayne and Liz are there. Jayne being of better value to the program, it would seem to suggest that the whole series had negligible effect and that the public voted for who they like not who they enjoyed. But, there arent many progs that say "vote for who to go" (Big Brother only, now?) and certainly Celebrities won't sign up for That kind of screw-tiny.

last night, some funny stuff based on "Dirty Dancing" and the phrase "yer dirty bitch" by Jayne and Liz which no doubt will not be shown...

Mixed emotions for Jayne, on the one hand she won, on the other they showed her "Oh I can't go on, I really luv Lee but I have to pretend not to oh o woh"...

Go on. Youse care, really.