ASIAN KIDS WITH WESTERN NAMES AND VERSE VIESA

http://www.i-am-white.com

and bad haircuts

l to r: amateurist, slocki

St. Ned the Utterly Relaxed

I hear Nick Sylvester has issues with this kind of thing.

PITCHFORK KID WITH CARTOON CAT LAST NAME

Fascinating Facts About McDonald's

*wtf is up with filipinos and spaghetti? in their most popular Fast food restaurant, Jolibee's, they also server spaghetti???

whoa, what kind of pig does THAT meat come from?

that ain't spaghetti... they put hot dogs and a lot of sugar in the sauce... something like knockoff chef boyardee bullshit from puerto rico

All her other dishes were fabulous mind you (mmm garlic lentil soup, delicate panfried veal with vegetables, glorious ragu sauce with pasta... *drools)

ASIATIC Asians are pretty cool. Only half of them can handle booze but they all have perfect toes. Some of the older Chinese people can be really mean when you’re just asking a simple question but that’s just because they are a more confrontational culture. Like the Jews or the French they are just arguing and you shouldn’t take it personal. The Chinese refer to white people (Americans mostly) as “fat and sentimental,” which is basically true. Japanese people are basically the best race. The women are babes and the men are incredibly smart. Want a computer invented? Ask a Japanese guy. Want to see a babe? Ask a Japanese lady.

Koreans are pretty bad, especially the communists. Lots of war has made them ruthless, and it’s perfectly normal to have your ass whipped right off your body for talking in class. Note that the worst Asians are still better than the best Micronesians. One of the few bad things with Asians, especially Chinese, is that they think sleeping is an indulgence and drink tea 24 hours a day to stay awake and that leads to general craziness.

INDIAN These guys are pretty smart and resilient (see Gandhi starring Ben Kingsley). The women are also babes (except for the occasional fuzzy one) and the guys make good doctors. Unlike black people they CAN sunburn, which is a problem because a lot of Canadian ones will go down to Mexico and act all tough and then get fried (they go kind of purple). They used to stink but they don’t anymore.

AFRICAN Blacks tend to have sickle-shaped blood cells, which is fine in hot temperatures where your blood is thin but can lead to trouble in colder places where the thicker blood cells will stick to each other and cause sickle-cell anemia. Another thing about them is that their heels tend to be right angles instead of bulging out at the back like normal.

In 1974 John R. Baker broke down the Africans into two categories: Sanids (Bushmen) and Negrids. This is too complicated. There are way too many different kinds to understand. In America, for example, there are the hard-working, educated ones that are even better than white people. They do all the good things that good white people do but they are less hokey and can party. The bad American ones are fucking scary and are rarely discussed. Abroad the same pattern follows but more exaggerated. In Africa the nice ones are so educated they invent entire cultures. The bad ones, however, would eat the bad American ones alive. If you’ve ever seen how fearless a Zimbabwean gas attendant is during the night shift in the heart of Queens you know what we’re getting at. They are used to watching lions eat their friends so it’s like “bring it on.”

The rest of the places—West Indies, Barbados, Jamaica—are just fun- loving jolly people with rich and interesting accents.

Incidentally, mulattos have an incredible metabolism. The same way a purebred dog is a weak one, mulattos take the best of being white and the best of being black and make a person that is smarter and fitter. The only drawback is the increased metabolism means more B.O. (see any Lenny Kravitz party).

Here’s another weird thing. They have this rule where if you have a drop of black blood you’re black. That means Arabs are black. However, Arabs are Semites like Jews, so Jews are black? They became white after moving to Europe so I guess they’re mulatto.

Mediterranean people like Italians are kind of mulatto too. There should be a new category here called HYBRIDS but fuck it.

AMERICAN INDIAN These people used to be really cool but are basically fucked now. They used to only have to work 15 hours a week for food and shelter and therefore still love sleeping. Another interesting thing about them is that they have weird earwax. It is powdery and not waxy at all. Soon there will be no American Indians because they will have been killed via disease and “culture smushing” by the white man (see bottom of chart). Eskimos also fit into this category. They are capable of much lower temperatures than other races (duh).

POLYNESIAN, MICRONESIAN, MELANESIAN These are basically Spanish Asians. That’s why they’re brown. Polynesians are the lightest of these tropical island people and Melanesians are almost black. So black, in fact, that they used to be considered abbos. These three races include all those island people like Hawaiian and Seychelles people—the ones who wear hula skirts and can kill you with a blow dart. They are incredibly agile (note how all DMC champions are Philippino).

EUROPEAN White people are a funny bunch. Many Asians will note, upon their arrival to America, that “white people smell like hamburger.” They did very well a few hundred years ago but are kind of over now. At best the good ones will own a lawn care company (or something) and like the Who, but they are drastically outnumbered by the bad ones. Unlike other races the bad ones fall into two groups. There are the rich ones: Jack Welch, Dick Cheney, and the like. These men would let the whole world sink into the sea if it meant another SUV for their daughter. The other kind is called white trash. They would sell their baby for crack no problem. Many use the phrase “good while it lasted” when discussing this group.

AUSTRALIAN (ABBO) Not exactly killing shit as far as the babe population goes. Almost extinct thanks to white people, the abbos haven’t been doing well for about 500 years now. One weird characteristic about abbos is that they have this point in their life called a “walkabout” where, sometime around 18 years of age, they will just start walking and walking and walking. They leave all their stuff and start a new life when they get to wherever it is they end up walking to but they all do it and nobody knows why.

CHRISTOPHER PRINCE

-- Ramosi (olafsonski...), May 16th, 2002 9:00 PM. (link)

Also wine in a can exists and I did not make it up.

Lasagne depends on the part of Italy a person making it is from, I guess as it is in general with things. My grandmother only made it with red gravy, none of the white/bechamel stuff going on at all besides the cheese. I think that's more Northern Italy style? But I'm not really sure, it's not something I have ever really looked into. Again I don't know how it compares to Americanized/Britishized/Australianized versions of Italian food cos I don't usually order dishes like lasagne out, I've only had them when my grandma (who was from Italy) made them, or the couple times my mom was arsed to bake it.

What she said.

xposts!

I think instead of this being a thread about Asian-Americans, this should be a thread about italian food.

xpost

http://www.viceland.com/issues/v9n2/htdocs/the_vice_guide.php

http://www2.selu.edu/NewsEvents/PublicInfoOffice/bl5-2-05Jindal.jpg

hiro up in this shit!!

Antarctica is the only continent that does not have a McDonald's restaurant - yet

this is a threat

the food's shittier there i would have been happy for a mcdonald's

jergs did u really roll up in the pole?

mcmurdo for one summer

somefascinating reminisces on Antarctica

Goan Catholics (from Goa in India) have Portuguese family surnames Pereira, De Souza, da Silva. Rarely an Asian first name among them.

Nowadays many Punjabi Christians have western names too.

On the Other hand Western Muslims typically have Arabic first names. Also Persian Shahbaz as a surname is very popular among the NOI people also many Sunni black Americans.

sup?

sdown?

ssideways

The three Asian immigrant groups clearly favor some names that are no longer as popular among native whites. Three plausible interpretations could account for both the large initial gap and its decline in later generations. One is linguistic. Because languages vary in the set of sounds employed, native speakers of each language will have some difficulties in producing certain sounds that are standard in another language. In turn, this will make some names that are popular in English less appealing to native speakers of a different language and thus reduce their use of these names for their children. Parents, then, will consider a wider array of names simply because they encounter difficulties in pronunciation. This aversion will disappear in short order as their American-born descendants become fluent in English. A second factor is that Asian immigrant groups -- like all such groups -- are not fully connected with contemporary developments in the larger white culture and inadvertently use dated names (obtained perhaps from older movies, popular music, white coworkers, older people with prestige, and the like). Even the stereotypes held by immigrant Asians of popular American names may be dated. (Consider, for example, the names that Americans might think are common in France -- say, Pierre or Jacques -- or in Germany -- Hans and Heinrich.) These could be terribly poor choice for migrants who want to give their son a name that blends in with current tastes.

The third factor is particularly applicable to Korean choices. This relates to the influence of different subcultural tastes that may lead immigrant parents to use names from any period that meets this disposition. A relatively large proportion of Koreans are Christian and therefore may choose biblical names because of their special appeal -- and these are not necessarily the same biblical names that are in fashion among American-born whites. Hence, such dated names as Grace, Esther, and Eunice could be popular not because Korean immigrants' knowledge and "feel" for contemporary culture is limited but simply because these names have a special cultural appeal to Koreans. However, there is clear evidence of a lag here as well. Most of the biblical names occurring in the top 20 for the sons of Korean immigrants are less popular among whites than are the biblical names chosen by American-born parents of Korean ancestry. Daniel, David, James, John, Paul, Peter, and Samuel are all more popular among Korean immigrants than native whites in the years 1982-86. Fitting the lag interpretation, their use declines among the generation of American-born parents. Migrants, unfamiliar with the receiving culture and yet desiring to shift to the symbols of the receiving society, will make "mistakes" in their estimates of these symbols -- particularly when they are themselves part of a constantly changing cultural process. By definition, as assimilation progresses there will be both a greater desire to use these symbols and a better reading of them owing to greater immersion in the cultural system.

-- Stanley Lieberson, A Matter of Taste: How Names, Fashions and Culture Change (Yale University Press, 2000)

i was wondering when jaymc would get on this thread

lots of Asian Esthers, it's true

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20091101103059AAw8mxc

Hebrew is an Asian language so the verse viesa is actually rather common.

That is one of the best yahoo answers pages I've seen in that all of the answers are of equal quality

oh god, do people really believe the "low self-esteem" bs?

and please do not say white names cause Fartbritz Sootzveti is actually white name.