What is the most unacceptable thing to ever come out of your ass?

xoxo

Out of my arse: partially digested spinach. Ewwwwww.

My late dog used to gobble up elastic bands, which further complicated her weird Freudian fear of shit (which I think Kundera defined as the true meaning of kitsch, a top theory when you're talking about a poodle). She would then attempt a shit-squat and the expression on her little face when she realised the poo was still attached to her via the rubber band she was also trying to pass was PRICELESS. We had to chase her all over the house to remove it, bleurgh.

DO NOT TAKE ZINC ON AN EMPTY STOMACH. YOU WILL BE VERY VERY SORRY (and a little slimy).

Thank God the hot water's back on...

(I expect a flurry of Thread Connections posts.)

I was just telling my husband earlier that I have an out of control hatred for the mythbusters guy. I don't know why and I can't explain it but I just can't stand him.

I have an undying hate of the Dirty Jobs guy. I think I can explain it, though -- he's smug without being charming or funny. He just comes off like a dick.

I've never seen that show but I just googled the guy and found this:

http://i29.photobucket.com/albums/c287/expatrica/dirtyjobs-3.jpg

He looks like I dick. I support you in your hatred.

um . . . A dick. Whoops.

He looks like he came out of someone's ass.

at first I missed ENBB's first post completely and thought the second was a response to the thread question

whoops!

Oh dear lord, I can't breathe!

there exists a pressure point on your perinium (skin between anus and testicles) which you can press and hold during orgasm to prevent ejaculation

is this true? anyone guys tried it and willing to confess the outcome (ha!)? do you still have an orgasm but just don't ejaculate?

i'm curious.

oh, you ejaculate... eventually.

It doesn't prevent anything, it just sends your body into this emergency state for a few moments where it's like, "Ok, we're trying to deliver the sperm, but it's not getting out! Keep it going!"

btw: this is no fun by yourself. You need another person delivering the pressure for maximum torture/pleasure.

wow. i learn something new and useful here, like, EVERYDAY.

btw: does it hurt/is it uncomfortable?

no, not at all. It's only uncomfortable because you're trying to ejaculate, ferchrissakes, and your body gets confused on some reptilian level when it can't do that. It prolongs the orgasm, though.

http://warnerkirby.blogs.com/photos/uncategorized/the_more_you_know775718.jpg

Actually, I don't know. I suppose if you kept applying the pressure for long enough, his body would give up and not ejaculate at all. But that sounds like less fun, not more. Let the poor guy come.

OTT

this information may come in handy one day. much appreciated ;)

Maybe that's what (someone)'s cat was trying to help do in the legendary "my cat scratched my balls while I was intercoursing my wife" story?

what a helpful cat.

who else but michael white, stan! you need to brush up on yr ILX legend...

the link above deserves wider airing:

Lightning exits woman's bottom
October 09, 2006 12:00am

A WOMAN has suffered severe burning to her anus after being struck by lightning which hit her in the mouth and passed right through her body.

Natasha Timarovic, 27, was cleaning her teeth at in her home in the Croatian city of Zadar when lightning struck the building.

She said: "I had just put my mouth under the tap to rinse away the toothpaste when the lightning must have struck the building.

"I don't remember much after that, but I was later told that the lightning had travelled down the water pipe and struck me on the mouth, passing through my body.

"It was incredibly painful, I felt it pass through my torso and then I don't remember much at all." Doctors at the city hospital where she was treated for burns to the mouth and rear said: "The accident is bizarre but not impossible."

She was wearing rubber bathroom shoes at the time and so instead of earthing through her feet it appears the electricity shot out of her backside," a medic told local newspaper, 24 Sata.

"It appears to have earthed through the damp shower curtain that she was touching as she bent over to put her mouth under the tap. If she had not been wearing the shoes she would probably have been killed by the blast."

24 Sata said the young woman had been released from hospital after being kept in overnight and was expected to make a full recovery.

--

i find the medic's explanation confusing. wouldn't her rubber shoes need to be about a mile thick in order to absorb the electricity?

Maybe that's what (someone)'s cat was trying to help do in the legendary "my cat scratched my balls while I was intercoursing my wife" story?

I AM THE BALL CAT

xxpost: thx, I first thought it was him, but I didn't quite believe it when I tried to imagine this style guru from the WDYLL threads posting a story like that... :-/

putting your head under the tap to rinse your mouth seems so declasse to me
use the water on the toothbrush itself, use your hand, get a cup, don't use so much freakin toothpaste, were you born in a barn (with a sink), etc

Shooting lightning out of your ass seems so declasse to me

no way man, you need to lower your standards

http://images.amazon.com/images/P/B000002H2H.01._SCLZZZZZZZ_.jpg

at first I missed ENBB's first post completely and thought the second was a response to the thread question

-- Curt1s Stephens, Thursday, 12 July 2007 04:36 (9 hours ago) Link

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! That's amazing.

This is unacceptable:

a buddy of mine's brother used to date a girl that had a pony-tail butt plug??? like, she'd be "wearing" it and she'd have this big long flowing tail, like a pretty pretty pony

o_0

-- river wolf, Thursday, July 12, 2007 10:29 AM (Thursday, July 12, 2007 10:29 AM) Bookmark Link

I want a tail

rumpie! This could be just the thing.

It's not prehensile, but with practice, I bet you could make it move.

http://img523.imageshack.us/img523/8901/img5328j.jpg

Felt a bit weird taking a picture of it.

Sick's post upthread is one of the worst things I have ever read

And under no circumstances should you scroll up and attempt to determine which post I am talking about. I mean it.

hahaha

I thought that trick was supposed to force the semen backwards into your bladder?

GAH

worst magician ever

I'll never interpret "He's got a lot of spunk" the same way again.

And on a lighter note, I sympathise with kenan's whiskey shits, but Onimo's Guinness turds take it.

I thought it squirted out of your eyes or am I thinking about milk xps

Yeah if you press your taint just right it'll squirt out your eyes?

worst magician ever

"I can do this trick with my magic wand..."

Would be pretty horrifying between card and hat tricks on stage.

Fun though for the people in the front few rows similar to Seaworld.

http://www.trickmastermagic.com/images/Breakaway%20Wand.jpg

Hospital removes 'asparagus-sized' eel from man's bottom

Gwyneth Paltrow's head

Sitting on the toilet after you were nutted in. pic.twitter.com/rgkvR5WGiK

— 𝐋𝐨-𝐏𝐢𝐧𝐠 🏳️‍🌈 (@PandasAndGaming) February 7, 2019

Steel drum