Best things to say to rebuff chat up lines

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SORRY I'M ASEXUAL

― Hari A$hur$t (Toaster), Thursday, 19 May 2005 17:51 (twenty-one years ago)

No, it's dynamite in my pants.

― Hari A$hur$t (Toaster), Thursday, 19 May 2005 17:51 (twenty-one years ago)

"Pardon me. I'm very gassy."

― slightly more subdued (kenan), Thursday, 19 May 2005 17:53 (twenty-one years ago)

Did you fall from heaven? 'Cause you look pretty banged up.

― M. White (Miguelito), Thursday, 19 May 2005 17:54 (twenty-one years ago)

NO I WILL NOT GRAB MY COAT I'VE PULLED

― Hari A$hur$t (Toaster), Thursday, 19 May 2005 17:55 (twenty-one years ago)

NB: caps lock denotes raised volume of voice.

― Hari A$hur$t (Toaster), Thursday, 19 May 2005 17:56 (twenty-one years ago)

The voices in my head say I should spare you.

― M. White (Miguelito), Thursday, 19 May 2005 17:57 (twenty-one years ago)

"sorry to interrupt, but you've got something kind of gross... here" (gesturing at entire face)

― jones (actual), Thursday, 19 May 2005 17:57 (twenty-one years ago)

Fuck off. Please?

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 19 May 2005 18:09 (twenty-one years ago)

I am a bride of Christ.

― Aimless (Aimless), Thursday, 19 May 2005 18:13 (twenty-one years ago)

Did I mention that my wife's into amateur dentistry?

― M. White (Miguelito), Thursday, 19 May 2005 18:16 (twenty-one years ago)

"Hi there, I'm an economist."

― rasheed wallace (rasheed wallace), Thursday, 19 May 2005 18:17 (twenty-one years ago)

"Is that a gun in your pocket, or did you just shit in your drawers? I'm guessing the latter."

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Thursday, 19 May 2005 18:18 (twenty-one years ago)

"Would you like to see my rare comic book collection?"

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Thursday, 19 May 2005 18:22 (twenty-one years ago)

"Can I tell you about an exciting business opportunity?"

― rasheed wallace (rasheed wallace), Thursday, 19 May 2005 18:25 (twenty-one years ago)

We have a winner.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Thursday, 19 May 2005 18:26 (twenty-one years ago)

Actually,

"We have a winner!"

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Thursday, 19 May 2005 18:28 (twenty-one years ago)

"We have a weiner!"

― n/a (Nick A.), Thursday, 19 May 2005 18:33 (twenty-one years ago)

"I have a weiner!"

― slightly more subdued (kenan), Thursday, 19 May 2005 18:34 (twenty-one years ago)

...und vee know how to use it!

― M. White (Miguelito), Thursday, 19 May 2005 18:35 (twenty-one years ago)

"i have aids"

― s1ocki (slutsky), Thursday, 19 May 2005 18:35 (twenty-one years ago)

"I have aides."

― rasheed wallace (rasheed wallace), Thursday, 19 May 2005 18:35 (twenty-one years ago)

"I have AIDS! Yayyyyyy!"

http://www.jimflorentine.com/art/special_ed.jpg

― slightly more subdued (kenan), Thursday, 19 May 2005 18:36 (twenty-one years ago)

You guys must not be very good at this, because I'm getting REALLY turned on.

― n/a (Nick A.), Thursday, 19 May 2005 18:44 (twenty-one years ago)

"HI DERE!"

― brianiac (briania), Thursday, 19 May 2005 18:51 (twenty-one years ago)

Fuck off. Please?

Strangely, that one either makes them want to talk to you further. "Oh, you're feisty!" Or start cursing at you. Or maybe I've just got bad luck.

― Candicissima (candicissima), Thursday, 19 May 2005 19:11 (twenty-one years ago)

You could fake a seizure...?

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 19 May 2005 19:21 (twenty-one years ago)

actual conversation:

dude in truck, noticing me on the street waiting for a cab and struggling with my bags: "hey honey, you need a ride?"

me: "are you a taxi?"

dude, flummoxed: "uh... no?"

me: "too bad."

― cindy williams permafrost (Jody Beth Rosen), Thursday, 19 May 2005 22:45 (twenty-one years ago)

"i'm a regular at a long running internet message board"

― strng hlkngtn, Thursday, 19 May 2005 22:47 (twenty-one years ago)

"Will you get me another beer?"

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Thursday, 19 May 2005 22:47 (twenty-one years ago)

haha "it's too bad we didn't meet on the internet"

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Thursday, 19 May 2005 22:48 (twenty-one years ago)

"You look so much like my mom."

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Thursday, 19 May 2005 22:51 (twenty-one years ago)

haha

xpost (maybe)

― strng hlkngtn, Thursday, 19 May 2005 22:52 (twenty-one years ago)

eat a lit cigarette

― Amateur(ist) (Amateur(ist)), Thursday, 19 May 2005 22:56 (twenty-one years ago)

So your radar isn't telling you that I'm not interested? Hmmm.

― M. White (Miguelito), Thursday, 19 May 2005 22:59 (twenty-one years ago)

"You could stab yrself in the scrotum. You know what you'd have then? A scrotum kebab."

― slightly more subdued (kenan), Thursday, 19 May 2005 23:02 (twenty-one years ago)

"you know what? I don't need another drink right now but if you could change my diaper that would be swell"

― Hari A$hur$t (Toaster), Thursday, 19 May 2005 23:03 (twenty-one years ago)

"right now in my women's studies class..."

― danielle g. (danielle g.), Friday, 20 May 2005 03:34 (twenty-one years ago)

HI I HAVE CRABS

― edward o (edwardo), Friday, 20 May 2005 04:42 (twenty-one years ago)

"right now in my women's studies class..."

Hey, I could actually use that as a chat up line! Don't dis women's studies!

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Friday, 20 May 2005 05:00 (twenty-one years ago)

NO.

― A homunculus of Darby Crash, .... created for the purposes of *EVIL* (ex machina, Friday, 20 May 2005 05:06 (twenty-one years ago)

What Dan said, except subsitute "PLEASE" with "cunt."

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Friday, 20 May 2005 06:41 (twenty-one years ago)

Or, of course, DON'T TRY IT

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Friday, 20 May 2005 06:41 (twenty-one years ago)

Why am I alone in this world?

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Friday, 20 May 2005 06:41 (twenty-one years ago)

because you don't try it?

― ken c (ken c), Friday, 20 May 2005 07:12 (twenty-one years ago)

The question was rhetorical, on a bed of irony coulis.

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Friday, 20 May 2005 07:14 (twenty-one years ago)

"Put it on the mantlepiece, I'll smoke it later."

― suzy (suzy), Friday, 20 May 2005 07:16 (twenty-one years ago)

HAHA

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Friday, 20 May 2005 07:59 (twenty-one years ago)

"Unfertilised!"

(That only works for girls, obv)

― mark grout (mark grout), Friday, 20 May 2005 08:01 (twenty-one years ago)

i'd be quite excited if someone said a chat up line to me. do i absolutely have to rebuff?

― gem (trisk), Friday, 20 May 2005 08:09 (twenty-one years ago)

Hello, do you come here often?

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Friday, 20 May 2005 08:11 (twenty-one years ago)

If it's charming and witty, you can do the line then unrebuff...

― mark grout (mark grout), Friday, 20 May 2005 08:12 (twenty-one years ago)

"Hello, do you come here often?"
"Unfertilised!"

Marvellous!

― mark grout (mark grout), Friday, 20 May 2005 08:13 (twenty-one years ago)

that is marvellous.

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Friday, 20 May 2005 08:16 (twenty-one years ago)

I CAST MAGIC MISSILE.

― Trayce (trayce), Friday, 20 May 2005 08:20 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh wait, that would actually encourage the kind of guys who hang in my scene, doh.

― Trayce (trayce), Friday, 20 May 2005 08:20 (twenty-one years ago)

You look so much like my mom

I have actually said this to one poor woman. Not to rebuff her, it was much, much worse than that. We had got back to my place, both drunk, and I was about to kiss her when a flash went through my brain that she looked eerily like my my mother and I couldn't. Worse, I was sozzled enough to blurt out why. She was, understandably, not amused. I tried to cheer her up by saying that my mother was very good looking and I was thinking of her when she was younger and not now, but I doubt this helped much.

― frankiemachine, Friday, 20 May 2005 08:52 (twenty-one years ago)

“NOOOOOOOO go away!” With hands raised. That happened to me once, I wouldn’t have minded if I was going to chat her up but I was going to ask if she was ok, as she looked distressed. Haven’t approached anyone since.

― not-goodwin (not-goodwin), Friday, 20 May 2005 10:20 (twenty-one years ago)

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